beast – Page 3 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 369 – Carly Askani

April 17, 2022 Miles Leave a comment

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

“This ought to give you” *POW* “a new perspective” *BIFF* “on things, Alex!” (Uncanny X-Men #339)

Head trauma for Lucas BIshop! (Uncanny X-Men #339)

I mean, she’s not wrong. (Uncanny X-Men #339)

“You think I just fell off the turnip truck, McCoy? No one pulls a fast one on J. Jonah Jameson!” (Uncanny X-Men #339)

“I’m Ororo Munroe, and I’m here to x-plain the X-Men… because it’s about time someone did.” (Uncanny X-Men #339)

Never trust a Summers when he tells you he’s fine. (Uncanny X-Men #339)

Well, if they can print it, I guess we can post it. (X-Men #59)

Head trauma for Lucas Bishop! Again! (X-Men #59)

Hell of a Wolverine you’ve got there, Mr. Kubert. (X-Men #59)

JOSEPH I AM CALLING THE POLICE (X-Men #59)

Not quite as good as the Rogue/Gambit kiss from #41, but still… whoa. (X-Men #59)

I’M HUGE (X-Men #59)

“For instance, I can see through this utterly massive chin.” (Wolverine Annual 1996)

Josef Stalin..? (Wolverine Annual 1996)

Up… (Wolverine Annual 1996)

…and up… (Wolverine Annual 1996)

…and up. (Wolverine Annual 1996)

“General Grievious, sir, it’s the Jedi!” (Wolverine Annual 1996)

You know, I think this might be Sunfire’s best non-Age of Apocalypse look! (Wolverine Annual 1996)

*Pacific Rim music plays* (and now it’s in your head too) (Wolverine Annual 1996)

Logan, that… that was there before. Maybe you need to adjust your bandana. (Wolverine Annual 1996)

NEXT TIME: The Silver Age with Max Carleton!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

369 – Carly Askani

April 17, 2022 Miles 23 comments

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In which Storm & Joseph X-Plain the X-Men, Alex Summers is not brainwashed this time, he promises, Scott Lobdell writes better moments than stories, Ed McGuinness draws very large chins, and it’s Denver the Last Dinosaur, not Denver the Lost Dinosaur

X-PLAINED:

Uncanny X-Men #339
Spider-Man disambiguation
A. Kubert disambiguation
J. Jonah Jameson (again) (hooray!)
Sneaking songs
The history of smoking regulation on airlines
Creed disambiguation
Havok’s Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
Bonding while falling out of planes
X-Men #59
The copyright status of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
Well-drawn Wolverines
Hercules vs The Tick
Wolverine Annual 1996
The tragic death of Mariko Yashida
Silver Samurai (Kuniuchio Harada)
Sunfire (Shiro Yoshida) and what he’s been up to since Fatal Attractions
Josef Stalin, apparently?
Red Ronin and its nemesis, a time-lost dinosaur who we assure you is not Godzilla
Jedi and/or samurai vs. doors
Our logo fonts
James Howlett, guidance counselor
Onslaught but not evil
Whether Magneto could wield Mjolnir

NEXT EPISODE: The Silver Age with Max Carleton!

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Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 366 – Nine-Tenths of the Law

March 27, 2022 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

The first issue of a cleverly disguised Karma series. (Beast #1)

Arms! (Beast #1)

Sam Guthrie as played by Sean Cassidy. (Beast #1)

The twins, post-Body Shop. (Beast #2)

I love their weird creepy powers. (Beast #2)

Seriously what the hell. (Beast #2)

SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HELL. (Beast #2)

Big Silver Age energy. (Beast #3)

NEXT EPISODE: Jay and Conner X-Plain X-Casting!

366 – Nine-Tenths of the Law

March 20, 2022 Jay 11 comments

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In which the Beast miniseries is actually a cleverly disguised Karma miniseries; Gateway’s moral alignment remains a mystery; Cannonball rocks some sideburns; there are many reasons to dislike Viper; and every #1 is somebody’s first.

X-PLAINED:

An off-panel death
X-Force #62
Beast #1-3
Karma’s family and backstory (again)
Twin absorption
MacGuffins and/or children
Clearcut and Mindmeld
Unconsciousness
Spiral (again)
Marios
What to do (visually) with six arms
Spiral’s mutates
Some very impressive body horror
MId-fight stalling
Misplaced revenge
Hank McCoy’s multiversal offspring
The history of Karma’s sexual orientation

NEXT EPISODE: Jay and Connor Goldsmith X-Plain X-Plaining!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 365 – A Whole Year of This Nonsense

March 20, 2022 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

It sure is 1996. (X-Force/Cable Annual 1996)

Hi, Pulse! (X-Force/Cable Annual 1996)

I mean, wouldn’t you? (X-Force/Cable Annual 1996)

THAT’S NOT HOW TORSOS WORK. (X-Force/Cable Annual 1996)

Seriously, what is Cyclops attached to? (X-Men Unlimited #13)

Where’s an editorial footnote when you need one? (X-Men Unlimited #13)

The cover of our new metal album! (X-Men Unlimited #13)

No real episode context; I just think this explosion looks really cool. (X-Men Unlimited #13)

How they celebrate in Junction, NY. (X-Men Unlimited #13)

NEXT EPISODE: Beast and/or Karma!

365 – A Whole Year of This Nonsense

March 13, 2022 Jay 15 comments

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In which you can now listen to a unique episode of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men every day for a year; Shi’ar tech support leaves something to be desired; Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau does not appear in a story; it’s Deathbird, not Dueprocessbird; Zenn-La gets destroyed a lot; and we shall never speak of this incident again.

X-PLAINED:

Where babies come from
The Shi’ar (again)
Cable/X-Force Annual 1996
X-Men Unlimited #13
Organs
Shi’ar ship names
Pulse
Unconventional use of the Danger Room
Butt-first framing
Interplanetary extradition
The word “contemplative”
Binary (again)
More Shi’ar ship names
Zenn-La
Silver Surfer (Norrin Radd)
The Inciters
A giant metal space skull
Junction, NY
A metaphor for America
Marie Cavendish
Mutants with synthetics-based powers
Literary intersections

NEXT EPISODE: Beast!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 357 – The Semiotics of Regret

December 26, 2021 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

This cover accomplishes what it sets out to do so beautifully… (Uncanny X-Men #337)

…as does its credits page. (Uncanny X-Men #337)

Nothing is entirely okay here. (Uncanny X-Men #337)

Hank, no. (Uncanny X-Men #337)

And wistfulness for dessert. (Uncanny X-Men #337)

Ah, that cover. Again. (X-Men #57)

Versions of this have been used roughly a zillion times; but it always works. (X-Men #57)

The 616, where televisions always flip through the most scene-appropriate clips. (X-Men #57)

Clean up your damn flechettes, Warren Kenneth Worthington III. (X-Men #57)

(He’s not covered in water; it’s the anti-psy field and the evocation of Days of Future Past.) (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

Not… the Rainbow Bears?! (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

Hi, kiddo. (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

Psychology is… different, here. (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

Sure, why not? (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

NEXT EPISODE: GIANT-SIZE WINTER SPECIAL, feat. Jonathan Hickman!

As Mentioned in Episode 353 – Scientists and Superheroes

November 28, 2021 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Forge X-Plains. (X-Factor #126)

Wait, if she’s also visible as herself, why does it even MATTER which wings she uses? (X-Factor #126)

Don’t steal the man’s tagline. (X-Factor #126)

I really enjoy this cover. (Fantastic Four #416)

“NOBODY menaces the Richardses but me!” (Fantastic Four #416)

Aw his silly device. (Fantastic Four #416)

“You have my abs.” (Fantastic Four #416)

THIS WEIRDO (Fantastic Four #416)

“DOOM WOULD ALSO ENJOY A LATTE.” (Fantastic Four #416)

This page super reminds me of the credits of the movie Help! (X-Men Unlimited #12)

They were cooler when they were just a neon sign come to life. (X-Men Unlimited #12)

This probably happens to Strange a lot. (X-Men Unlimited #12)

I’m sorry, Spite; I can’t take you seriously without a Y and possibly a gratuitous apostrophe in your name. (X-Men Unlimited #12)

A large boy. (X-Men Unlimited #12)

…they fight crime! (X-Men Unlimited #12)

NEXT EPISODE: some bullshit.

LINKS & FURTHER SPINOFFS

I’m pretty sure we’ve linked to Robert Cop before, but just in case, here you go.

353 – Scientists and Superheroes

November 21, 2021 Jay 10 comments

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In which Dark Beast is an unlikely father figure; Wild Child remains low-budget Wolverine; X-Factor foreshadows the XSE; no one else thwarts Richardses on Doom’s watch; the cow goes “hate”; and Juggernaut fails to grow as a person.

X-PLAINED:

The Red Ghost
Onslaught thus far
X-Factor #126
Fantastic Four #416
X-Men Unlimited #12
Random’s origins (kind of)
Pinochle
Kristoff Vernard
Several villains
Juggernaut’s adventures in the Gem of Cyttorak
Gomurr the Ancient (again)
Spite
Unreliable narrators
The evolution of Cyttorak
Wolverine’s hair
X-arcs we’d like to see as video games

NEXT EPISODE: To nobody’s surprise, Onslaught.

CORRECTION: Kristoff Vernard is not in fact a clone of Doctor Doom.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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