Cable – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 503 – Dream’s Anticlimax

October 19, 2025 Jay 3 comments

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No, seriously. (Uncanny X-Men #388)

Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men #388)

A nonspecific explosion. (Uncanny X-Men #388)

So large. (Cable #87)

no but seriously how (Cable #87)

Bye, Post. (Cable #87)

One of his teammates has to draw the tattoo on every morning with a sharpie. (Bishop: The Last X-Man #16)

Every time they watch a movie, Wolverine carefully explains to his teammates that it’s not real. (Bishop: The Last X-Man #16)

Mother of the year. (Bishop: The Last X-Man #16)

Now kiss! (X-Men #108)

This is not subtext, although it may be an anagram of subtext. (X-Men #108)

NEXT EPISODE: SKA!

503 – Dream’s Anticlimax

October 19, 2025 Jay 5 comments

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In which history repeats itself; Senator Kelly prevaricates (and then dies); Magneto keeps the cape on; Mystique does evil science; Post remains irrelevant (and then dies); Pyro saves the day (and then dies); Cable is a large man; Moira MacTaggert does the astral nasty (and then dies); and we really, really, really want to go to Froggy World.

X-PLAINED:

Moira MacTaggert’s mutation
A dubious plan
Evidence that we are in the wrong universe
Other crossovers named “Dream’s End”
A significant disclaimer
Uncanny X-Men #388
Cable #87
Bishop: The Last X-Men #16
X-Men #108
A surprise presidential platform
Sir Gordon Phillips and his guests
The new Brotherhood of Mutants
Cable’s hair
A lot of movie allusions
An ambiguous explosion
A deeply pointless retcon
An illusion
Cable’s psimitar
Pyro’s last stand
Dickalogue
Astral sex
The (apparent) death of Moira MacTaggert
A weird bonding moment in a cemetery
How to identify a time traveler
The (actual) death of Senator Robert Kelly
Mutant-free parts of the Marvel Universe
Froggy World

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 501 – A Bag of Cloacae (Maximum Security, Part 1 of 2)

October 12, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

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Now that we look at them again, the D’Bari were really more Asparagus People than Broccoli People. (Uncanny X-Men #387)

What’s wrong with this picture? (Uncanny X-Men #387)

…I mean, Corsair does make some good points. (Uncanny X-Men #387)

In honor of Cerise: lip massage time! (Uncanny X-Men #387)

“C’mon, mess with us – make our day!!” (Uncanny X-Men #387)

Hey, it’s a Darkmantle! And also yet another instance of a character getting swallowed and slimed! (Uncanny X-Men #387)

That panel reference, though. (Uncanny X-Men #387)

In which Max Power discovers raves. (Iron Man #35)

In which Max Power improves raves. (Iron Man #35)

It’s magic dirt. (Iron Man #35)

What I love is that this scene implies that the spore of Ego the Living Planet has a detailed understanding of retro-idyllic middle America. (Iron Man #35)

PORCH GUY MOUTH (Iron Man #35)

Ego, the Living Town. (Iron Man #35)

Babies always look cuter to their parents than to anyone else. (Iron Man #35)

Welcome back, Bishop! (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

He’s about to say “Micro Machines.” He’s missed them in his time away. (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

I don’t know how to say this, man, but I don’t think your girlfriend is good for you. (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

“If you’d like to know more, son, just listen to Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men episodes 387 through 500.” (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

“And your nose.” (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

Man, I missed this guy. (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

I feel like Deathbird played the “I’m not touching you” game a lot as a kid. (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

Aww, these two. (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

NEXT TIME: Maximum Security concludes!

501 – A Bag of Cloacae (Maximum Security, Part 1 of 2)

October 5, 2025 Jay 7 comments

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In which an event begins; Earth is problematic; the Phoenix Force is an unreliable narrator; Max Power just wants to make safer party drugs; and we miss Opal Tanaka.

X-PLAINED:

The fate of the D’Bari
Maximum Security: Dangerous Planet
Maximum Security #1
Uncanny X-Men #387
Iron Man #35
Bishop the Last X-Man #15
Voting in space
A bad plan
U.S. Agent (John Walker)
A peculiar marketplace
A dangerous hat
Starhammer
Space romance problems
Breaking into Earth
Max Power
Magic dirt
Littletown, Nebraska
An extremely upsetting baby
A very impressive crash landing
What Bishop’s been up to
Human X-characters we’d like to see more of
Some kid named Michael
Trading cards we’d like

NEXT EPISODE: Maximum Security concludes!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 497 – Stranger Things

August 24, 2025 Miles 2 comments

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Astra: shows up for two pages, is a hilarious jerk, refuses to elaborate, leaves. (X-Men Forever #4)

Seriously, there’s a name for the linked-circles-phone-call-thing, right? (X-Men Forever #4)

Getcher Lava Lamp Babies! Three fer the price o’ two! (X-Men Forever #4)

Science is making me feel uncomfortable… (X-Men Forever #4)

Anyway, here’s the history of literally everything. (X-Men Forever #4)

In the future, we will all look more like we do in the movies! (X-Men Forever #5)

Oof, right in the bobbies. (X-Men Forever #5)

It’s Jean’s alternate-alternate-future daughter! (X-Men Forever #5)

“I could defeat you with a single twitch of my left mustache.” (X-Men Forever #6)

“How do I get out of this conversation gaaahhhh he just keeps talking I do NOT want to hear any more about cryptocurrency” (X-Men Forever #6)

In which the art reaches for the stars. (X-Men Forever #6)

A day in the life of an information technology professional. (X-Men Forever #6)

Toad 2.0! Or like, 7.0 if you count all the inconsistencies in his past depictions. (X-Men Forever #6)

Mystique 2.0! But if the first X-Men movie crossed over with Tron. (X-Men Forever #6)

In case you’re wondering, the Stranger’s mustache was already like that even before he got punched in the nose. (X-Men Forever #6)

Toad, as is often the case, has learned nothing. (X-Men Forever #6)

Next time: X-Force gets even more x-treme!

497 – Stranger Things

August 24, 2025 Jay 6 comments

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In which Prosh’s plans sort of come to fruition; we do not know very much about movies; Iceman dies (but is fine); The Stranger gets around; and Toad learns nothing.

X-PLAINED:

The Stranger
X-Men Forever #4-6
Prosh (more) (again)
The story so far
Astra (again)
The Black Womb Project
Toad’s secret origins, possibly
Fashion
Hazard
Amanda Mueller (a bit)
Anguirus
The end of human civilization
Foreshadowing
A dramatic reveal
Several makeovers
Darth Toad
Fighting arenas / community theaters

NEXT EPISODE: Mystique reassembles the Brotherhood!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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495 – The Goth

August 3, 2025 Jay 9 comments

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In which Rogue is beset with leadership; Psylocke’s telekinetic sword is narratively inconsistent; the Crimson Pirates are bad at their job; and you should not look to Frank Punisher as a role model.

X-PLAINED:

Whether Dani Moonstar is still a Valkyrie
X-Men #103-104
Uncanny X-Men #384-385
A crossover
Tessa (somewhat)
A test
The Goth (group)
Skulls
The Crimson Pirates
The mind of Tullamore Voge
Something “rough trade” does not mean
Visual representation of telepathy
Kymri (again)
The Goth (individual)
Skycycles
A ruse
How to get the X-Perts at a convention near you
What happened to the Massachusetts Academy

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men Forever

The visual companion to this episode will be up in the near future!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 494 – You’ve Got Evil Mail

July 29, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

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Is Thunderbird cosplaying Colossus? (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Meet Neal Shaara! Or sometimes Neal Sharra, depending on who’s writing! (X-Men Unlimited #27)

In which Karima Shapandar literally jump-kicks her way into the issue. (See also the 1977 kung fu film The Invincible Armour.) (X-Men Unlimited #27)

And you haven’t even met Maggott yet! (X-Men Unlimited #27)

embarrassed_werewolf sounds like part of an auto-generated Reddit username. (X-Men Unlimited #27)

“Crap, instead of zapping them with the Robot Servant Ray, we zapped them with the Main Character Ray!” (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Aww, Sanjit. (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Hope you survive the experience! (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Check out Gambit’s sideways-Legion hair! And Beast’s Banshee disguise! (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Darkstar speaks for us all. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

This ain’t Beast’s first brainwashing rodeo. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Listen, the Darkforce is just cool, okay? (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Dis not what Gambit had in mind. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

More like the Golden Death, really. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Darkstar’s face is the same as Miles’s when he first discovered Cloud/Sephiroth slash almost 30 years ago. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

“No, my only weaknesses – rain and tasers!” (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Technology safety tip: if you get a suspicious email, blow up your computer! (X-Men Annual 2000)

Adorable downtime! (X-Men Annual 2000)

I love these goofballs so much. (X-Men Annual 2000)

Rogue learned a lot of things during her time with Magneto, like: if you have a problem, throw it into space. (X-Men Annual 2000)

The focused totality of her cutting your goddamn head off. (X-Men Annual 2000)

Everyone just looks really cool here. That’s the only significance. (X-Men Annual 2000)

GUN ARRRRRRMMMSSSSS (X-Men Annual 2000)

That’s some Claremont dialogue, alright (complimentary). (X-Men Annual 2000)

I guess that’s why Stryfe’s not too concerned with peripheral vision. Explains the helmet. (X-Men Annual 2000)

NEXT TIME: The Goth!

494 – You’ve Got Evil Mail

July 20, 2025 Jay 9 comments

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In which the X-Men zealously protect their trademarks; Cable can have as many moms as he wants to; not everyone should have to be a superhero; Lady Deathstrike knows how to handle unauthorized emails; and somehow there are still more gun arms.

X-PLAINED:

Lady Deathstrike
X-Men Unlimited #27-28
X-Men Annual 2000
One reason to recycle code names
Thunderbird III (Neal Shaara)
Sanjit Shaara and his electronic diary
Karima Shapandar
Bastion and the Prime Sentinels (again) (briefly)
Omega Prime Sentinels
Rebirth Island and what lurks there
Darkstar (Laynia Petrovna)
Unusual disturbances
Whether Gambit sleeps
The Black Death
Internet security training with Bastion
The genealogy of Nora Ephron romantic comedy You’ve Got Mail
Fashion
Stryfe (again) (briefly)
Psylocke’s telekinetic katana
Interactions between Madelyne Pryor and her large adult son
Spiral’s Body Shop

NEXT EPISODE: The Brotherhood targets Senator Kelly… again.

Check out the visual companion to this episode here!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!