Cable – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 501 – A Bag of Cloacae (Maximum Security, Part 1 of 2)

October 12, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

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Now that we look at them again, the D’Bari were really more Asparagus People than Broccoli People. (Uncanny X-Men #387)

What’s wrong with this picture? (Uncanny X-Men #387)

…I mean, Corsair does make some good points. (Uncanny X-Men #387)

In honor of Cerise: lip massage time! (Uncanny X-Men #387)

“C’mon, mess with us – make our day!!” (Uncanny X-Men #387)

Hey, it’s a Darkmantle! And also yet another instance of a character getting swallowed and slimed! (Uncanny X-Men #387)

That panel reference, though. (Uncanny X-Men #387)

In which Max Power discovers raves. (Iron Man #35)

In which Max Power improves raves. (Iron Man #35)

It’s magic dirt. (Iron Man #35)

What I love is that this scene implies that the spore of Ego the Living Planet has a detailed understanding of retro-idyllic middle America. (Iron Man #35)

PORCH GUY MOUTH (Iron Man #35)

Ego, the Living Town. (Iron Man #35)

Babies always look cuter to their parents than to anyone else. (Iron Man #35)

Welcome back, Bishop! (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

He’s about to say “Micro Machines.” He’s missed them in his time away. (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

I don’t know how to say this, man, but I don’t think your girlfriend is good for you. (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

“If you’d like to know more, son, just listen to Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men episodes 387 through 500.” (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

“And your nose.” (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

Man, I missed this guy. (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

I feel like Deathbird played the “I’m not touching you” game a lot as a kid. (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

Aww, these two. (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

NEXT TIME: Maximum Security concludes!

501 – A Bag of Cloacae (Maximum Security, Part 1 of 2)

October 5, 2025 Jay 7 comments

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In which an event begins; Earth is problematic; the Phoenix Force is an unreliable narrator; Max Power just wants to make safer party drugs; and we miss Opal Tanaka.

X-PLAINED:

The fate of the D’Bari
Maximum Security: Dangerous Planet
Maximum Security #1
Uncanny X-Men #387
Iron Man #35
Bishop the Last X-Man #15
Voting in space
A bad plan
U.S. Agent (John Walker)
A peculiar marketplace
A dangerous hat
Starhammer
Space romance problems
Breaking into Earth
Max Power
Magic dirt
Littletown, Nebraska
An extremely upsetting baby
A very impressive crash landing
What Bishop’s been up to
Human X-characters we’d like to see more of
Some kid named Michael
Trading cards we’d like

NEXT EPISODE: Maximum Security concludes!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 497 – Stranger Things

August 24, 2025 Miles 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Astra: shows up for two pages, is a hilarious jerk, refuses to elaborate, leaves. (X-Men Forever #4)

Seriously, there’s a name for the linked-circles-phone-call-thing, right? (X-Men Forever #4)

Getcher Lava Lamp Babies! Three fer the price o’ two! (X-Men Forever #4)

Science is making me feel uncomfortable… (X-Men Forever #4)

Anyway, here’s the history of literally everything. (X-Men Forever #4)

In the future, we will all look more like we do in the movies! (X-Men Forever #5)

Oof, right in the bobbies. (X-Men Forever #5)

It’s Jean’s alternate-alternate-future daughter! (X-Men Forever #5)

“I could defeat you with a single twitch of my left mustache.” (X-Men Forever #6)

“How do I get out of this conversation gaaahhhh he just keeps talking I do NOT want to hear any more about cryptocurrency” (X-Men Forever #6)

In which the art reaches for the stars. (X-Men Forever #6)

A day in the life of an information technology professional. (X-Men Forever #6)

Toad 2.0! Or like, 7.0 if you count all the inconsistencies in his past depictions. (X-Men Forever #6)

Mystique 2.0! But if the first X-Men movie crossed over with Tron. (X-Men Forever #6)

In case you’re wondering, the Stranger’s mustache was already like that even before he got punched in the nose. (X-Men Forever #6)

Toad, as is often the case, has learned nothing. (X-Men Forever #6)

Next time: X-Force gets even more x-treme!

497 – Stranger Things

August 24, 2025 Jay 6 comments

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In which Prosh’s plans sort of come to fruition; we do not know very much about movies; Iceman dies (but is fine); The Stranger gets around; and Toad learns nothing.

X-PLAINED:

The Stranger
X-Men Forever #4-6
Prosh (more) (again)
The story so far
Astra (again)
The Black Womb Project
Toad’s secret origins, possibly
Fashion
Hazard
Amanda Mueller (a bit)
Anguirus
The end of human civilization
Foreshadowing
A dramatic reveal
Several makeovers
Darth Toad
Fighting arenas / community theaters

NEXT EPISODE: Mystique reassembles the Brotherhood!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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495 – The Goth

August 3, 2025 Jay 9 comments

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In which Rogue is beset with leadership; Psylocke’s telekinetic sword is narratively inconsistent; the Crimson Pirates are bad at their job; and you should not look to Frank Punisher as a role model.

X-PLAINED:

Whether Dani Moonstar is still a Valkyrie
X-Men #103-104
Uncanny X-Men #384-385
A crossover
Tessa (somewhat)
A test
The Goth (group)
Skulls
The Crimson Pirates
The mind of Tullamore Voge
Something “rough trade” does not mean
Visual representation of telepathy
Kymri (again)
The Goth (individual)
Skycycles
A ruse
How to get the X-Perts at a convention near you
What happened to the Massachusetts Academy

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men Forever

The visual companion to this episode will be up in the near future!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 494 – You’ve Got Evil Mail

July 29, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

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Is Thunderbird cosplaying Colossus? (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Meet Neal Shaara! Or sometimes Neal Sharra, depending on who’s writing! (X-Men Unlimited #27)

In which Karima Shapandar literally jump-kicks her way into the issue. (See also the 1977 kung fu film The Invincible Armour.) (X-Men Unlimited #27)

And you haven’t even met Maggott yet! (X-Men Unlimited #27)

embarrassed_werewolf sounds like part of an auto-generated Reddit username. (X-Men Unlimited #27)

“Crap, instead of zapping them with the Robot Servant Ray, we zapped them with the Main Character Ray!” (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Aww, Sanjit. (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Hope you survive the experience! (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Check out Gambit’s sideways-Legion hair! And Beast’s Banshee disguise! (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Darkstar speaks for us all. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

This ain’t Beast’s first brainwashing rodeo. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Listen, the Darkforce is just cool, okay? (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Dis not what Gambit had in mind. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

More like the Golden Death, really. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Darkstar’s face is the same as Miles’s when he first discovered Cloud/Sephiroth slash almost 30 years ago. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

“No, my only weaknesses – rain and tasers!” (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Technology safety tip: if you get a suspicious email, blow up your computer! (X-Men Annual 2000)

Adorable downtime! (X-Men Annual 2000)

I love these goofballs so much. (X-Men Annual 2000)

Rogue learned a lot of things during her time with Magneto, like: if you have a problem, throw it into space. (X-Men Annual 2000)

The focused totality of her cutting your goddamn head off. (X-Men Annual 2000)

Everyone just looks really cool here. That’s the only significance. (X-Men Annual 2000)

GUN ARRRRRRMMMSSSSS (X-Men Annual 2000)

That’s some Claremont dialogue, alright (complimentary). (X-Men Annual 2000)

I guess that’s why Stryfe’s not too concerned with peripheral vision. Explains the helmet. (X-Men Annual 2000)

NEXT TIME: The Goth!

494 – You’ve Got Evil Mail

July 20, 2025 Jay 9 comments

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In which the X-Men zealously protect their trademarks; Cable can have as many moms as he wants to; not everyone should have to be a superhero; Lady Deathstrike knows how to handle unauthorized emails; and somehow there are still more gun arms.

X-PLAINED:

Lady Deathstrike
X-Men Unlimited #27-28
X-Men Annual 2000
One reason to recycle code names
Thunderbird III (Neal Shaara)
Sanjit Shaara and his electronic diary
Karima Shapandar
Bastion and the Prime Sentinels (again) (briefly)
Omega Prime Sentinels
Rebirth Island and what lurks there
Darkstar (Laynia Petrovna)
Unusual disturbances
Whether Gambit sleeps
The Black Death
Internet security training with Bastion
The genealogy of Nora Ephron romantic comedy You’ve Got Mail
Fashion
Stryfe (again) (briefly)
Psylocke’s telekinetic katana
Interactions between Madelyne Pryor and her large adult son
Spiral’s Body Shop

NEXT EPISODE: The Brotherhood targets Senator Kelly… again.

Check out the visual companion to this episode here!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 492 – Brain Sharks

July 13, 2025 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Man, what a good opening image. (Uncanny X-Men #381)

Just, y’know, hanging out in Venice. (Uncanny X-Men #381)

BRAIN SHARKS! (Uncanny X-Men #381)

It does not, in fact, speak for itself. (Uncanny X-Men #382)

Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #382)

Note: These are not the Goth. Those guy show up later. (Uncanny X-Men #382)

Go, Gambit! (Uncanny X-Men #382)

Damn, Storm. (Uncanny X-Men #383)

The Slash and its bouncer. (Uncanny X-Men #383)

These are not members of the same band. (Uncanny X-Men #383)

Sketch. (Uncanny X-Men #383)

Sketch at work. (Uncanny X-Men #383)

These guys. (Uncanny X-Men #383)

GUN ARMS! (Uncanny X-Men #383)

Is there Sketch fanfic out there? Probably not, but there should be. (Uncanny X-Men #383)

NEXT EPISODE: The first X-Men film turns 25!

492 – Brain Sharks

July 6, 2025 Jay 7 comments

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In which the Shockwave Riders are exceptionally silly; we are deeply impressed by brain sharks; and chrome plating and gun arms are among the lesser explored recurring Claremont motifs.

X-PLAINED:

The fate of Sara Grey
Revolution Claremont X-book disambiguation
Uncanny X-Men #381-383
The Neo (again)
An unmarked anniversary
A secret treasure trove
Vagaries of telekinesis and telepathy
The Shockwave Riders
Brain sharks that eat memories
The stuff of legend
The Lost Souls
Dirges and non-dirges
One way to start a conversation
Simyon Kurasov
Colonel Alexi Vazhin (again)
The Slash
How to dress to go clubbing
Blinkers, somewhat
Ransom Sole
Big Casino
Sketch
Revenant
Major Debra Levin
Bludgeon, Cudgel, and Manacle
Houndification
The best 21^st century X-characters

NEXT EPISODE: The first X-Men movie turns 25!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 478 – The Monologue Tube

February 23, 2025 Miles 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Alan Davis protests the death of Cyclops. (From this link)

X-teams, past to present. (At least the ones who still had comics in 2000.) (Uncanny X-Men #379)

Well, at least this time he’s leaving with someone other than those five motorcycle guys who could turn into a sixth motorcycle guy. (Uncanny X-Men #379)