Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: cyclops

As Mentioned in Episode 128 – A Stupid Way to Die (Judgment War, Part 1)

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Jean, I know busting through walls is an X-Factor thing, but some walls are there for a reason. (X-Factor #43)
The Kirbiest of Kirby designs! (X-Factor #43)
Throwing this one in for scale. Celestials are big. (X-Factor #43)
A Stupid Way to Die: The Scott Summers Story. (X-Factor #43)
Aw, man. Monster babies are the best babies. (X-Factor #44)
Seems like a fair trade. (X-Factor #44)
Damn, but that’s satisfying. Not quite punching-a-pterosaur satisfying, but still not half bad. (X-Factor #45)
Of Jean’s three personalities, Maddy is the only one familiar with how hairbrushes work. (X-Factor #46)
NEXT EPISODE: The Cross-Time Caper begins!

128 – A Stupid Way to Die (Judgment War, Part 1)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which X-Factor goes to space; Miles gets judgmental about spelling; Paul Smith returns to an X-title; Celestials are a pain; Judgment War is the Star-Trekkiest story that doesn’t actually involve Star Trek; monster ladies are super important; if you can be a green dude, you should be a green dude; and Cyclops gears up to fight some gods.

X-PLAINED:

  • One way to kill a Celestial
  • Judg(e)ment War
  • Drunk Mark Trail
  • X-Factor #43-46
  • Walls you should maybe not bust through even if you’re X-Factor
  • A completely inappropriate show pitch
  • Celestials
  • The true secret purpose of Ship
  • The Chosen
  • The Rejects
  • Dualers
  • Perfect Seera
  • Rask
  • Zarka
  • Monster ladies in cultural context
  • Lev
  • A stupid way to die
  • Jammers
  • Plot-relevant amnesia
  • The Most Perfect
  • ZZ-105
  • Baby theft (more)(again)
  • Ryest
  • The Beginagains
  • Whether and when there’ll be another all-question episode
  • The current status of the Jean Grey school

NEXT EPISODE: The Cross-Time Caper begins!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

X-TRA – Sofa Special (feat. Al Ewing)

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cathands

We’re celebrating International Podcast Day with a bonus mid-week episode!

In which Jay and Al settle down in the living room to talk about cats, conventions, X-karaoke, Summers Brothers road trips, and what Al has planned for those New Mutants he’s been collecting in New Avengers!

SOME RELEVANT LINKS:

This episode comes courtesy of our rad Patreon subscribers. If you want to join their ranks and help keep us on the air and ad-free–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Jay Recaps X-Men: Evolution
S1E10: Shadowed Past

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Ever heard of something called “The Draco”?

No, not the blonde guy from Harry Potter. The “Draco” I’m talking about is an Uncanny X-Men arc where Chuck Austen retconned Nightcrawler’s origin story to involve a father from an ancient race of demon-looking mutants long exiled to a hell dimension by a bunch of quasi-angelic counterparts.1

The Draco is one of the worst arcs of Austen’s already fairly shaky 2 run; and generally considered to be one of the worst X-Men stories ever. It’s the continuity equivalent of awkward makeouts at your company Christmas party: everyone does their best to politely pretend that it never happened, and if anyone brings it up, everyone familiar with the story gets acutely embarrassed by proxy.

I am telling you about The Draco not because it has any relevance whatsoever to X-Men: Evolution–it doesn’t–but so that you will understand where the bar sits when I tell you that “Shadowed Past” is my least favorite take on Nightcrawler’s origin story.

Continue reading

122 – Boom Boom Von Doom and the Ontology of Monsters

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which the back-up stories of Atlantis Attacks are way better than the main event; the Serpent Society is hilarious; Longshot finds a rock; the S.U.R.F.E.R.S. are no Neutrinos; our volume of digressions is inversely proportional to our investment in this crossover; Jay overthinks sunglasses; and somehow we still aren’t entirely done with Inferno.

X-PLAINED:

  • Leonard McKenzie
  • Princess Fen
  • Tiger Shark
  • A dubious crossover event and three splendid backup stories
  • The best thing in Marvel Puzzle Quest
  • Skateman
  • Atlantis Attacks
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #13
  • New Mutants Annual #5
  • X-Factor Annual #4
  • Ghaur
  • Llyra
  • Homo mermanus
  • The Serpent Society
  • Boomslang
  • Why snakes don’t wear vests
  • The Maple Hill Farm books
  • The Horn of Doom (again)
  • Namorita
  • Impractical swimwear
  • Surf, or S.U.R.F.E.R.S., or whoever the hell they are
  • Zak and the Neutrinos
  • The trouble with mobile landmarks
  • A case of mistaken identity
  • The true meaning of something, probably
  • Ralph Macchio, but not that Ralph Macchio
  • Circumstances in which it is acceptable to throw a small child down an elevator shaft
  • The definitive Boom Boom
  • Eligible gentlemen of the Marvel Universe
  • Boom Boom Von Doom
  • A false dichotomy
  • Sally Pashkow
  • A really great outfit
  • Presidencies rated by X-Books
  • Best and worst moral inversions

NEXT WEEK: Mojo Mayhem!

ART CHALLENGE: Send your best Boom Boom romance stories, covers, and pin-ups to xplainthexmen(at)gmail.com by SEPTEMBER 15, with the subject line BOOM BOOM RULES.

NOTE: In this episode, Jay briefly confused two Marvel villain teams: the Serpent Society (snake-themed villains); and the Sons of the Serpent, also known as the Serpent Men (hate group). We would like to offer our apologies to the Serpent Society, who are ridiculous but not, as far as we know, racist.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

What I Did on My Summer Vacation, by Jay (Age 33)

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The closest approximation of Havok’s powers in the standard emoji set is concentric hearts.

I discovered this a few months back, texting with the amazing Tea Fougner. “It kind of fits,” I remember typing. “I mean, the movie version has very Care Bear powers.”

There followed a Step 3, with a series of question marks; but by the end of the conversation, we had decided to make and exchange Summers Brothers Care Bears.

(I also ended up making a tiny Captain America bear, which astute readers will recognize as a panel-accurate replica of the Captain America bear Cyclops canonically owns, which appeared for one panel sometime in the late ’90s. Jean won it for him at a fair. Comics are great, y’all.)

ANYWAY, here are some process photos and notes. ENJOY!

The only remotely appropriately colored Care Bear was Grumpy Bear. I feel pretty okay about that.
Eyes.
Care Bear eyes are riveted in. Fortunately, I had help from my friend Dave, who owns…
…a drill press!
Since the lights were smaller than the actual eyes, I threw on a few coats of red paint once we had ’em out.
Seriously, I have never identified more closely with Mister Sinister.
And here’s Cyclops Bear, reassembled!
Still not lasers.
The visor is part of a leftover container from Rite-Aid. The actual lens is cut from a ski visor.
Finished Cyclops and Cap bears.
The Cap Bear’s single canon appearance.
The Summers Bears united. Cyclops and Cap stayed in New York with Tea; Havok relocated to the Pacific Northwest with me, presumably to finish his dissertation. For some reason this photo WILL NOT display upright.

UPDATE: Tea just sent me a slew of Havok Bear process photos and notes, so those will be up next week!

Also, since I forgot to link it initially, you can see both bears in action in this video review!

 

 

As Mentioned in Episode 118 – Extrude the Grappling Arms!

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Elaine Grey as drawn by Rob Liefeld. (X-Factor #40)
Perspective? What perspective? (X-Factor #40)
Remember, this is supposed to be taking place inside the cockpit of a fairly small airplane. (X-Factor #40)
Nanny, X-Plained. (X-Factor #40)
Trolls, trollin.’ (X-Factor #41)
“Just, um, don’t call Magneto. He’s a supervillain. Anything he says about us is probably a lie.” (X-Factor #41)
Well, that escalated quickly. (X-Factor #41)
Sure, why not? (X-Factor #41)
The future mutant messiah. (X-Factor #42)
Meanwhile in Excalibur, other stuff. (X-Factor #42)
This is also a problem in Portland. (X-Factor #42)
I like this kid. He makes good choices. (X-Factor #42)
NEXT EPISODE: Miles and Elisabeth X-Plain New Mutants Forever!

LINKS:

 

118 – Extrude the Grappling Arms!

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which you really can’t compete with Cable; the X-Men may or may not ditch a funeral; Nanny extrudes the grappling arms; Boom Boom is more responsible than she looks; Jean Grey is the cool stepmom; we posit an alternate explanation for Brexit; and ravens are the best dinosaurs.

X-PLAINED:

  • What happened to the Inferno babies
  • X-Factor #40-42
  • Madelyne Pryor’s funeral
  • Post-Inferno X-Factor
  • Archangel’s inconsistent appearance
  • Secret origins of Nanny and the Orphanmaker
  • Teenagers (more) (again)
  • Tom Jones (Alchemy)
  • Conversations we probably shouldn’t have with Neal Conan
  • Trolls of London
  • Dubious super-parenting
  • Phy
  • Phay
  • Phee
  • Phough
  • Phumm
  • Troll economics
  • A grocery list
  • The Ravenmaster
  • Miles’s mom

NEXT EPISODE: Miles and Elisabeth X-Plain New Mutants Forever!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 110 – Lights, Camera, Apocalypse!

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
We saw X-Men in the middle of a road trip the summer after our senior year of high school. Terrible vacation; fun movie.
X2: X-Men United is a very loose adaptation of one of our favorite X-Men stories: the Marvel Graphic Novel God Loves, Man Kills.
The less said about X-Men: The Last Stand, the better.
Jay can’t look at this X-Men: First Class poster without thinking of the Buckaroo Banzai end credits. It’s a blessing and a curse.
X-Men: Days of Future Past is one of the more ambitious retcons ever to grace the big screen.
X-Men: Apocalypse opens in the U.S. on May 27; and everywhere else at some point in the surrounding weeks.
Apocalypse’s on-panel debut… (X-Factor #5)
…and the first time we saw his signature costume. (X-Factor #6)
“Let’s adopt him and, I dunno, feed him scarab blood? Look, man, I’m making this up as I go along.” (Rise of Apocalypse #1)
Apocalypse’s true, diabolical plan, as realized in “The Twelve”: To capture a bunch of mutants and I guess put them in little terrariums? Apocalypse is a complicated guy. (Uncanny X-Men #377)
Apocalypse: Somehow actually more progressive than Doctor Who. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
The mechanics of Apocalypse’s body–and relative immortality–vary wildly from series to series. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
In the Age of Apocalypse, Apocalypse takes over Earth ahead of schedule and makes everything super glam. (X-Men: Alpha)
Deadpool may not be an X-Man, but his movie did feature the best version of the X-Men costumes to show up so far on screen.
NEXT WEEK: Excalibur joins Inferno!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

110 – Lights, Camera, Apocalypse!

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which the X-Men cinematic universe is a really mixed bag; Kang the Conqueror ruins everything; everyone wants a Sphinx hovercraft; Elle was right; and we bring you up to speed on all things En Sabah Nur–just in time for X-Men: Apocalypse!

X-PLAINED:

  • How Chamber got his torso back (and then lost it again)(twice)
  • Several ways to count X-Men movies
  • X-Men
  • X2: X-Men United
  • X-Men: The Last Stand
  • X-Men: First Class
  • X-Men: Days of Future Past
  • Adaptation anxiety
  • Distillation vs. dilution
  • Apocalypse (En Sabah Nur)
  • Rise of Apocalypse #1-4
  • Akkaba
  • Dubious survival tips
  • Fantastic Four #19
  • Doctor Strange #53
  • Ozymandias
  • Various horsemen of Apocalypse
  • Age of Apocalypse (Earth-295)
  • The Twelve
  • Cinematic X-costumes
  • Cast Party

NEXT WEEK: Excalibur joins Inferno!

CORRECTION: In this episode, Jay states that Kieran Shiach explained Kang in the Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts. It was, in fact, the amazing Paul O’Brien. Mea culpa.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!