454 – X-Men ’97, Part 2

June 30, 2024 Miles 13 comments

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SPOILER WARNING: ALL OF THEM, NONSTOP

In which Barry Windsor-Smith is too sexy for television; we know what happens when unstable molecules get struck by lightning; X-Men gets political and does it spectacularly; this Captain America would not sew the cape; Magneto continues to throw things into space; and they kissed and we missed it.

X-PLAINED:

Fabian Cortez’s name
X-Men ’97 episodes 6-10
Lifedeath I & II: a surprising adaptation
Varying levels of going in blind
A somewhat different and possibly better Forge
The Adversary vs. the Owl Queen
Stormiest and least-Stormy costumes
Professor Charles Xavier, Official Space Boyfriend
Colonialism vs. Identity
Delayed catharsis
The narrative power of altered opening credits
What makes allyship effective (and not)
Justified mutant anger
The worst version of Nina DaCosta
What makes Prime Sentinels scary
Summers family feels
The best damned fight scenes out there
Bastion, robo-avatar of conservative white patriarchy
Simultaneous crossovers
A psychic gay bar
A last boss arena
Acolyte equivalencies
Phoenix Ex Machina
Crying
Whether Magneto was right
Apoca-futures and Apoca-pasts
A bulletin board and our hopes for its contents
Soft Serve
Kitty Pryde’s coffee shop AU
X-Men ’97 as the perfect gateway

NEXT EPISODE: Skrulls!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

The Judgment of Magneto by Asher Elbein

No visual companion this week!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 432 – Weird Little Adventures

December 10, 2023 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

This makes it look like one of them is about to die. (Generation X #44)

The weirdest thing about Polaroids was that they could all talk. (Generation X #44)

Aw. (Generation X #44)

Siryn knows how to dress! (Generation X #44)

A plot thread that dangles to this day. (Generation X #44)

I really enjoy this credits page. (Generation X #45)

I enjoy when Monet is mischievous. (Generation X #45)

What the HELL, Sean? (Generation X #46)

Of course, it would have EMTs, but, whatever. (Generation X #46)

One way to deal with traffic. (Generation X #46)

How fast is she running?! (Generation X #46)

“I mean, they’ll have a rough time at college, but whatever.” (Generation X #46)

Forge, no. (Generation X #47)

Did… did they HAVE to live in the treehouse before?! (Generation X #47)

Later he’s going to lecture on not pissing off your girlfriend. (Generation X #47)

YOU TELL ‘IM, PARADOX! (Generation X #47)

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor and Excalibur post mortem!

432 – Weird Little Adventures

December 3, 2023 Jay 4 comments

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In which we reach the end of Larry Hama’s run on Generation X; Gaia remains remarkably normal for someone who has spent millennia chained up alone in a citadel; Synch practices radical forgiveness; we ponder the nature of Emma Frost and Sean Cassidy’s relationship; and Forge is extra unqualified to lecture on ethics.

X-PLAINED:

How Jubilee stopped being a vampire
The Draco, kinda
Generation X #44-47
Bianca LaNeige (again)
Polaroid cameras
Gaia (more) (again)
Reality warping
Woody and Arlo Guthrie
Iceland
Several continuity errors
Psi War fallout
Paul Weller
New school uniforms
Accreditation
Miss Pickwick
Penance’s nationality
Guthrie manifestation
Teamwork
Forge’s decision-making skills
Paradox
Indoor/outdoor moppets
Four theoretical horsemen of Apocalypse
Awkward family holidays

NEXT EPISODE: Jay & Miles autopsy X-Factor and Excalibur!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 424 – Times Change

September 17, 2023 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Looking for a stand-alone file of the muppet opening? Here you go:

Fixx just wants to be friends. (X-Factor #146)

Seriously, what the hell is going on with that facial hair? (X-Factor #146)

Havok’s powers look so good in this whole arc. (X-Factor #146)

Aw, Shard. (X-Factor #147)

I really enjoy this scene. (X-Factor #148)

Again: Havok’s powers, looking cool. (X-Factor #148)

It really is a terrible sweater. I should probably knit it someday. (X-Factor #149)

“Have fun in Alaska!” (X-Factor #149)

Madrox doesn’t betray anyone in that future, at least. (X-Factor #149)

And that’s that. (X-Factor #149)

Narrator voice: It was, in fact, the end. (X-Factor #149)

NEXT EPISODE: Psi-War!

424 – Times Change

September 17, 2023 Jay 5 comments

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In which everything is Havok’s fault; Jay is a bad influence; Polaris makes some valid points; Jamie Madrox is the Bobby Drake of X-Factor; and X-Factor vol. 1 ends with a bang.

X-PLAINED:

Muppet rules
X-Factor, vol. 1, in general
X-Factor #146-149
Sense of place
Jude Black and his inexplicable facial hair
Boundaries
Edible Arrangements
A different kind of sports bar
Kevin
Nostalgia, I guess?
Several confrontations
Temporal insanity
A very specialized course
What happens next
The universe where Dazzler replaced Jean Grey in the original X-Factor
Characters we would like to have seen more of

NEXT EPISODE: Psi-War!

Special thanks to muppets Michal Richardson, Bilal Dardai, and Matt Hunter!

(You can find an mp3 of just the muppet opening in the visual companion.)

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 411 – Tearaway Pants

May 23, 2023 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here.

When you meet a straight couple, you should ask them which is the Nic Cage and which is the John Travolta. (X-Men Unlimited #17)

Fuckssake, Warren. (X-Men Unlimited #17)

Severe costume injuries. (X-Men Unlimited #17)

Logan’s skiing / beat poetry outfit. (X-Men Unlimited #17)

After thirty years, Warren finally gets a gun, I guess. (X-Men Unlimited #17)

SERIOUSLY, HOW DO THEY RECOGNIZE IT?! (X-Men Unlimited #17)

Much like Gambit, I hallucinate a team of X-Men insulting me at all times. (X-Men Unlimited #18)

Hydro-Man. He sure is. (X-Men Unlimited #18)

Jean Grey advocates for change. (X-Men Unlimited #18)

Aw. (X-Men Unlimited #18)

See, they body-swapped because of carpet static and… y’know what? Just watch Gravity Falls. You won’t regret it.

NEXT EPISODE: Back to the core!

411 – Tearaway Pants

May 21, 2023 Jay 6 comments

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In which we actually kind of like a Sabretooth story; we’re not asking for viscera, here; all pants on Earth-616 are tearaway pants; we’d like to see more Wolverine stories about bodily autonomy; Gambit’s hallucinations have hallucinations; and there are probably too many X-books.

X-PLAINED:

Punch-clock villains
Hydro-Man’s secret weakness
411
‘90s fashion
X-Men Unlimited #17-18
X-Men Unlimited vs. annuals
A difficult casting decision
Forge’s neutralizer gun
Costume injuries
Color symbolism? Kinda? I guess?
Mrs. Hoo
Saberine & Wolvertooth
Warren Kenneth Worthington III vs. shirts
How to dress for Earth-616
Hot buttered whatever
Boob foliage
Clones
Very tenacious blood stains
The return of the Angry Claremontean Narrator
Lots of hallucinations
Oscar the Fixer
Hydro-Man
Redemption, symbolic and otherwise
The evolution of Magneto’s name
Our ideal X-line

NEXT EPISODE: Back to the core!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 407 – Freshening Up

April 16, 2023 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

(He is not in fact here to help.) (X-Factor #138)

Heh. Omega Red, man. (X-Factor #138)

The most threatening destroyed football you’ll see today. (X-Factor #138)

THAT IS AN EXCELLENT QUESTION. (X-Factor #138)

(Spoiler: That’s Mystique.) (X-Factor #138)

A delightful cover. (X-Factor #139)

This whole sequence is so good. (X-Factor #139)

Ever is weird, and I say that with all respect and admiration! (X-Factor #139)

Dark Beast DEFINITELY has multiple candy-colored iMacs. (X-Factor #139)

Mystique: once again mother of the year. (X-Factor #139)

The preceding page literally had a Slaughterhouse Five reference, and I’m kind of annoyed about it. (X-Factor #140)

Fixx, Greystone, and Archer. (X-Factor #140)

A guy who is probably not Cable. (He’s not; he’s an alternate-future Forge.) (X-Factor #140)

Batman. (X-Factor #140)

There are actually *multiple* people huffing frogs, if you look closely. (X-Factor #141)

SERIOUSLY WHY WOULD YOU EVER TRUST THIS MAN (X-Factor #141)

THE PLOT THICKENS (X-Factor #141)

NEXT EPISODE: Bishop: X.S.E.!

LINKS & FURTHER TIME SINKS

We covered the first X.S.E. miniseries in Episode 340 – Retconaganda.

407 – Freshening Up

April 9, 2023 Jay 11 comments

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In which X-Factor bounces from one rock-bottom to another; Sabretooth gets his (murderous) groove back; Dark Beast embraces the iMac aesthetic; the tip was righteous; Mystique multitasks like a pro; and Shard Bishop has come unstuck in time.

X-PLAINED:

X-Nation
What X-Factor’s been up to
X-Factor #138-141
Omega Red (again)
The Brotherhood’s new hideout
Mallory Brickman
Miles and/or Ralph Brickman
Gloria Brickman
“Freshening up”
Mystique, but a sitcom
Agent Vargas
Ever
The secret purpose of Havok’s Brotherhood
Exhumes vs. emplates
Fixx
Greystone
Archer
The X.U.E.
Bantam
Leisure activities
What would happen if the T-O virus took over Cable’s body
What we want from X-Men #700

NEXT EPISODE: Bishop: X.S.E.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!