Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Hawkeye

As Mentioned in Episode 298 – Unlikely Avengers

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All of our TeePublic profits this month are going to Trans Lifeline! Have you always wanted a mask that says THEY’RE NOT LASERS? Now’s your chance!

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Seriously, can we not? (X-Universe #1)
Seriously, can we not? (X-Universe #1)
Don't worry; they all die in about a page and a half. (X-Universe #1)
Don’t worry; they all die in about a page and a half. (X-Universe #1)
"...ladies." (X-Universe #1)
“…ladies.” (X-Universe #1)
Blark 4 Lyfe (X-Universe #1)
Blark 4 Lyfe (X-Universe #1)
See what we mean about the Darkseid thing? (X-Universe #1)
See what we mean about the Darkseid thing? (X-Universe #1)
Damnit, Matt. (X-Universe #1)
Damnit, Matt. (X-Universe #1)
These badasses! (X-Universe #1)
These badasses! (X-Universe #1)
This should really have been the cover to #1. (X-Universe #2)
This should really have been the cover to #1. (X-Universe #2)
They've got names, and they're not recognizable characters in a series that's all about recognizability, so--yep, gonna die. (X-Universe #2)
They’ve got names, and they’re not recognizable characters in a series that’s all about recognizability, so–yep, gonna die. (X-Universe #2)
DAMNIT, Matt. (X-Universe #2)
DAMNIT, Matt. (X-Universe #2)
Clint Barton? James Rhodes? Lester Whatshisname? Who even knows, anymore? (X-Universe #2)
Clint Barton? James Rhodes? Lester Whatshisname? Who even knows, anymore? (X-Universe #2)
GOOD JOB, VICTOR VON DOOM. (X-Universe #2)
GOOD JOB, VICTOR VON DOOM. (X-Universe #2)
HE COULD STILL BE ALIVE (X-Universe #2)
HE COULD STILL BE ALIVE (X-Universe #2)
That's an awfully fancy red herring, there. (X-Universe #2)
That’s an awfully fancy red herring, there. (X-Universe #2)
NEXT EPISODE: What didn't happen!
NEXT EPISODE: What didn’t happen!

298 – Unlikely Avengers

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the moments of X-Universe are better than the whole; the code name “Dirigible” carries some inherent risks; Tony Stark is often more interesting without Iron Man; Clint Barton is no James Rhodes; there is somehow a Matt Murdock who makes even worse choices than the one from Earth-616; nobody should ever trust Mikhail Rasputin; and the baby’s name really doesn’t matter.

X-PLAINED:

  • J. Jonah Jameson’s stance on mutants
  • A way to get cool stuff AND support Trans Lifeline
  • X-Universe #1-2
  • Gwen Stacy (Earth-295)
  • Some really obnoxious white savior tropes
  • The Marauders (Earth-295)
  • How to waste Arcade
  • Spider-nostalgia
  • Owl noises
  • Tony Stark (Earth-295)
  • Clint Barton and/or James Rhodes (Earth-295)
  • Dr. Donald Blake (Earth-616)
  • Dr. Donald Blake (Earth-295)
  • Blark
  • Mikhail Rasputin (Earth-295)
  • Ship, but not Ship
  • Ben Grimm (Earth-295)
  • Sue Storm (Earth-295)
  • Bruce Banner (Earth-295)
  • A great many overplayed references
  • Matt Murdock (Earth-295)
  • Manuel de la Rocha (Earth-295)
  • Victor Von Doom (Earth-295)
  • Marte and Rafe McGuffin
  • The Upscale Program
  • A very hazardous plan
  • The Stryfe Force
  • The dreams of Donald Blake
  • A red herring named Frankie
  • Augmented humans in a mutant-centric world
  • How Wolverine communicates with animals
  • How Professor X lost his hair

NEXT EPISODE: What-ifs and might-have-beens!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 239 – Rap and Rumble (feat. Max Carleton)

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Awkward Family Portraits: The Avengers Edition (Avengers #368)
Awkward Family Portraits: The Avengers Edition (Avengers #368)
Nick, no. (Avengers #368)
Nick, no. (Avengers #368)
The Avengers were not always Marvel's A-List team. (Avengers #368)
The Avengers were not always Marvel’s A-List team. (Avengers #368)
TFW your kid gets replaced by a shapeshifter and then explodes. (Avengers #368)
TFW your kid gets replaced by a shapeshifter and then explodes. (Avengers #368)
"Mr. Agent" BWAHAHAHAHA (Avengers #368)
“Mr. Agent” BWAHAHAHAHA (Avengers #368)
Trolling Henry Peter Gyrich is the real superheroism. (Avengers #368)
Trolling Henry Peter Gyrich is the real superheroism. (Avengers #368)
"Just like Dracula would." (Avengers #368)
“Just like Dracula would.” (Avengers #368)
Oh, hey, it's the yelling disembodied head of Charles Xavier! (Avengers #368)
Oh, hey, it’s the yelling disembodied head of Charles Xavier! (Avengers #368)
Everyone else is rushing into battle; and there's Cap, just, like, "FORGET THIS I'M GONNA FIGHT THE SKY" (X-Men #26)
Everyone else is rushing into battle; and there’s Cap, just, like, “FORGET THIS I’M GONNA FIGHT THE SKY” (X-Men #26)
Good work, Mr. Agent. (X-Men #26)
Good work, Mr. Agent. (X-Men #26)
Avengers West Coast #101
Avengers West Coast #101
Hawkeye should enter every room this way. (Avengers West Coast #101)
Hawkeye should enter every room this way. (Avengers West Coast #101)
Genosha: Still the Goddamn Worst. (Avengers West Coast #101)
Genosha: Still the Goddamn Worst. (Avengers West Coast #101)
Did they, though? I kind of suspect he named himself that. (Uncanny X-Men #307)
Did they, though? I kind of suspect he named himself that. (Uncanny X-Men #307)
The cover IS the trading card. (Avengers #69)
The cover IS the trading card. (Avengers #69)
1993 seems like a little late to have two yelling Xavier heads in one story, but you do you.(Avengers #69)
1993 seems like a little late to have two yelling Xavier heads in one story, but you do you.(Avengers #69)
Well, he sure pontificates like Magneto. (Avengers #69)
Well, he sure pontificates like Magneto. (Avengers #69)
And yet, he won't be out for another decade and change. (Avengers #69)
And yet, he won’t be out for another decade and change. (Avengers #69)
NEXT EPISODE: Live at Emerald City Comic Con, with Vita Ayala, Seanan McGuire, and Leah Williams!
NEXT EPISODE: Live at Emerald City Comic Con, with Vita Ayala, Seanan McGuire, and Leah Williams!

LINKS & FURTHER MAXIMOFFS:

 

 

239 – Rap and Rumble (feat. Max Carleton)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we enter the era of bomber jackets; the covers are the cards; Genosha remains neither green nor pleasant; the A is for “Avengers,” not “A-list”; Henry Peter Gyrich is the straightest of men; Cyclops sets an important precedent; Exodus is a huge jerk; we speculate about movies we have definitely not seen; Stephen Strange is not a qualified OBGYN; the Avengers are really weird even by our standards; and Max manages to connect two of Marvel’s most complicated family trees.

X-PLAINED:

  • One way to name babies
  • Blood Ties
  • Infinite bomber jackets
  • Avengers #368-369
  • X-Men #26
  • Avengers West Coast #101
  • Uncanny X-Men #307
  • Several very fancy covers
  • A shadow government, but not that kind of shadow government
  • Genosha (more) (again)
  • The Avengers, as of 1993
  • A special delegation
  • The Genoshan resistance
  • U.S. Agent
  • A time Cyclops told someone other than Dracula to follow their heart
  • The many belts of Nicholas Fury
  • Several members of the Maximoff family (more) (again)
  • Black Knight (Dane Whitman)
  • Sersi
  • A very drawn-out fight
  • Roy Thomas dialogue
  • The racist icing on the racist cake
  • Exodus (Bennet du Paris)
  • Diplomacy, kind of
  • Apolitical avenging
  • Magneto’s dream
  • A green and pleasant beverage
  • Yet another energy-dome-enclosed crisis
  • The giant, angry disembodied head of Charles Xavier
  • What is definitely the actual plot of the Purge movies
  • The surprisingly torrid private lives of the Maximoffs
  • Scarlet Witch and Vision’s kids
  • Master Pandemonium and his weird baby hands
  • Damian Hellstrom
  • How we’d handle Magneto’s family in modern Marvel
  • Robopaternity
  • A possible link between the Summers and Maximoff families

NEXT EPISODE: Live at Emerald City Comic Con, with Vita Ayala, Seanan McGuire, and Leah Williams!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

149 – Panning for Callbacks

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Art by David Wynne. href=”http://particlefiction.bigcartel.com/”>Contact David to purchase the original!

In which Old Man Logan is probably better than it deserves to be; Steve McNiven is magical; the post-apocalyptic future probably belongs to the LARPers; Miles’s dad may or may not secretly be Hawkeye; all babies are supervillains; every movie should have a dinosaur chase scene; Emma Frost is our queen forever; and you should never trust a Hitler cosplayer.

X-PLAINED:

  • Wolverine: Lord of the Vampires
  • Mark Millar
  • Wolverine vol. 3 #66-72
  • Giant-Size Wolverine: Old Man Logan
  • The Hooded Man
  • “Old Man Logan” vs. Old Man Logan
  • The difference between Logan and Wolverine
  • Old-timey apocalypses
  • The Hulk Gang
  • Old Man Hawkeye
  • The Spider-Buggy
  • Moloids
  • Hammer Falls
  • Ultron-8
  • Several generations of supervillains
  • How the world fell under darkness
  • President Red Skull
  • Some very cathartic violence
  • Narrative functions of the rampage

NEXT EPISODE: Live from Emerald City Comic Con, with Dennis Hopeless & Charles Soule!

Special thanks to the Protomen.

The visual companion to this episode will be up when Jay has a working computer charger again.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 11 – Who Would Win in a Fight

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Rachel and Miles of 2003, testing out early "Who Would Win in a Fight" hypotheses. Rachel hasn't had long hair in years, but she still fights dirty.
Rachel and Miles of 2003, testing out early “Who Would Win in a Fight” hypotheses. Rachel hasn’t had long hair in years, but she still fights dirty.
Cycloptometry, from X-Factor #39.
Cycloptometry, from X-Factor #39.
Some of our favorite X-spinoffs.
Some of our favorite X-spinoffs.
That's Rachel Summers, sending Kitty Pryde's consciousness back in time in the original "Days of Future Past" comic. (X-Men #141)
That’s Rachel Summers, sending Kitty Pryde’s consciousness back in time in the original “Days of Future Past” comic. (X-Men #141)
Fun fact: the title of this podcast is roughly 90% Michael C. Maronna's fault. (Photo courtesy of Will McRobb.)
Fun fact: the title of this podcast is roughly 90% Michael C. Maronna’s fault. (Photo courtesy of Will McRobb.)
Mystique and Destiny: CANONICAL AS FUCK. (Astonishing X-Men #51)
Mystique and Destiny: CANONICAL AS FUCK. (Astonishing X-Men #51)
The Siege Perilous will body-swap you with a Japanese assassin, or send you to Australia, or whatever. Unless you're Quentin Quire, anyway. (Uncanny X-Men #229)
The Siege Perilous will body-swap you with a Japanese assassin, or send you to Australia, or whatever. Unless you’re Quentin Quire, anyway. (Uncanny X-Men #229)
Lee Forrester takes shit from nobody. (X-Men #143)
Lee Forrester takes shit from nobody. (X-Men #143)
You can, in fact, judge this book by its cover. (Nightcrawler #1)
You can, in fact, judge this book by its cover. (Nightcrawler #1)
Would you buy logical causality from this man? YES. Yes, you would.
Would you buy logical causality from this man? YES. Yes, you would.
From That One Time Rachel Discovered Blingee and Spent Two Days Doing Nothing but Animating Starbursts on Longshot and Dazzler Covers.
From That One Time Rachel Discovered Blingee and Spent Two Days Doing Nothing but Animating Starbursts on Longshot and Dazzler Covers.
Miles's favorite superhero.
Miles’s favorite superhero.
Just in case you were wondering what it looked like.
Just in case you were wondering what it looked like.
Paracyclophus, by Legitimus Maximus.
Paracyclophus, by Legitimus Maximus.
Janet K. Lee is the inventor of the Metawolverine, the most powerful creature in Canada.
Janet K. Lee is the inventor of the Metawolverine, the most powerful creature in Canada.
Next week: The Dark Phoenix Saga!
Next week: The Dark Phoenix Saga!

Links and Further Reading: UncannyXMen.net

11 – Who Would Win in a Fight

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In which we answer 45 straight minutes of your questions and alienate everyone with our answer to Jean vs. Emma, Miles is probably too nice to win in a fight, we are really into The Adventures of Pete & Pete, Rachel is the Vega to Miles’s Shepard, Excalibur is awesome, you should stop punching the DNA, Wolverine is Rogue, Longshot is the prettiest man, and Professor X is a pufferfish.

X-Plained:

  • Who would win in a fight
  • The Rachel & Miles Fastball Special
  • Cycloptometry
  • Backissues, collections, and where to find them
  • Podcaster ‘shipping
  • Spinoffs
  • Rachel Summers (more) (again)
  • Five tattoos
  • Non-X stuff we’re into
  • X-Force versus the Comics Code Authority
  • Ultimate X-Men
  • How to keep track of crossovers
  • Textual queerness
  • The Siege Perilous
  • Jean vs. Emma
  • Some good Nightcrawler and Iceman stories
  • Dream teams
  • The Glammest Timeline
  • Best and worst code names
  • Bendis’s X-books
  • X-animals

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Next week: The Dark Phoenix Saga