Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: kurt wagner

As Mentioned in Episode 264 – Autotune the Phalanx

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Symbolism, Douglock. It's full of Symbolism. (Excalibur #78)
Symbolism, Douglock. It’s full of Symbolism. (Excalibur #78)
Aw, these kids. (Excalibur #78)
Aw, these kids. (Excalibur #78)
Seriously, though, it's really easy to imagine them breaking into song at this point. (Excalibur #78)
Seriously, though, it’s really easy to imagine them breaking into song at this point. (Excalibur #78)
Ouch. (Excalibur #78)
Ouch. (Excalibur #78)
We do not recommend doing this, for a lot of reasons. (Excalibur #78)
We do not recommend doing this, for a lot of reasons. (Excalibur #78)
Ouch. (Excalibur #78)
Ouch. (Excalibur #78)
They're so dramatic! (Excalibur #79)
They’re so dramatic! (Excalibur #79)
Courtney Camperson is a very good moppet. (Excalibur #79)
Courtney Camperson is a very good moppet. (Excalibur #79)
Damn, Kitty. That was uncalled for. (Excalibur #79)
Damn, Kitty. That was uncalled for. (Excalibur #79)
WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE SO MEAN TO ROBOTS (Excalibur #80)
WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE SO MEAN TO ROBOTS (Excalibur #80)
Aw, kiddo. (Excalibur #80)
Aw, kiddo. (Excalibur #80)
The juxtaposition of what actually happens in these pages with what Stryfe assumed would happen is such a good use of the medium. (Excalibur #80)
The juxtaposition of what actually happens in these pages with what Stryfe assumed would happen is such a good use of the medium. (Excalibur #80)
(Excalibur #80)
(Excalibur #80)
Dang, Amanda Conner. DANG. (Excalibur #80)
Dang, Amanda Conner. DANG. (Excalibur #80)
I don't entirely know how to process charming Charles Xavier. (Excalibur #78)
I don’t entirely know how to process charming Charles Xavier. (Excalibur #78)
CHARLES, YOU SCAMP! (Excalibur #79)
CHARLES, YOU SCAMP! (Excalibur #79)
"But watch out if anyone approaches you about, like, becoming pope. That won't end well." (Excalibur #80)
“But watch out if anyone approaches you about, like, becoming pope. That won’t end well.” (Excalibur #80)
NEXT EPISODE: Star crossed... IN SPACE!
NEXT EPISODE: Star crossed… IN SPACE!

264 – Autotune the Phalanx

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we celebrate our 100th episode with producer Matt Hunter; you should always be kind to robots; Stryfe has a lot of very petty contingency plans; Britanic is bad at helping; we explore a peculiar pairing of book and arc; Charles Xavier has his moments; and Zero and Douglock defiy destiny.

X-PLAINED:

  • The current occupant of Fantomex’s body
  • Excalibur #78-80
  • The Douglock “chronicles”
  • Zero
  • Douglock
  • Several feelings
  • Britanic (again)
  • Camping fonts
  • Drones
  • Radio Shack
  • Helping
  • Pentagon-sense
  • What being human is all about
  • Charles Xavier, hero of the beach
  • Rory Campbell’s voice
  • Technoorganic vs. transmode viruses
  • Kymera

NEXT EPISODE: Star-crossed in space!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 256 – Mullets of Time and Space

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Always aspire to a higher level of time paradox! (Excalibur #75)
Always aspire to a higher level of time paradox! (Excalibur #75)
How much extra creepiness does this already creepy scene get from the bolding of "his"? (Excalibur #75)
How much extra creepiness does this already creepy scene get from the bolding of “his”? (Excalibur #75)
It's his girlfriend. He called and asked her to come over. There is literally no reason that this should be so mysterious and pseudo-suspenseful. (Excalibur #75)
It’s his girlfriend. He called and asked her to come over. There is literally no reason that this should be so mysterious and pseudo-suspenseful. (Excalibur #75)
You do you, Amanda. (Excalibur #75)
You do you, Amanda. (Excalibur #75)
PITCH: "What if only Captain Britain's arms had returned from the timestream?" (Excalibur #75)
PITCH: “What if only Captain Britain’s arms had returned from the timestream?” (Excalibur #75)
If you need me, I will be over here having FEELINGS about the lack of official acknowledgement of this relationship. (Excalibur #75)
If you need me, I will be over here having FEELINGS about the lack of official acknowledgement of this relationship. (Excalibur #75)
"I was going to have some really dubious facial hair." (Excalibur #75)
“I was going to have some really dubious facial hair.” (Excalibur #75)
This better be worth it. (Excalibur #75)
This better be worth it. (Excalibur #75)
[Ron Howard narrator voice] It was not worth it. (Excalibur #75)
[Ron Howard narrator voice] It was not worth it. (Excalibur #75)
GET IT? GET IT? GET IT? (Excalibur #75)
GET IT? GET IT? GET IT? (Excalibur #75)
I hope you're happy in the life you've chosen for yourself. (Excalibur #76)
I hope you’re happy in the life you’ve chosen for yourself. (Excalibur #76)
"I mean, for some value of the term." (Excalibur #76)
“I mean, for some value of the term.” (Excalibur #76)
Well, that's portentous. (Excalibur #76)
Well, that’s portentous. (Excalibur #76)
This is UNQUESTIONABLY the face of a man who has attempted to eat a toaster, a tube of lipstick, and several telephones. (Excalibur #76)
This is UNQUESTIONABLY the face of a man who has attempted to eat a toaster, a tube of lipstick, and several telephones. (Excalibur #76)
Nightcrawler, in his moppet days. (Excalibur #76)
Nightcrawler, in his moppet days. (Excalibur #76)
I don't understand D'Spayre's torso muscles; and, frankly, I don't care to. (Excalibur #76)
I don’t understand D’Spayre’s torso muscles; and, frankly, I don’t care to. (Excalibur #76)
SEE WHAT I MEAN?! (Excalibur #77)
SEE WHAT I MEAN?! (Excalibur #77)
D'Spayre's only weaknesses are joy and, by remarkable coincidence, children named Amil. (Excalibur #77)
D’Spayre’s only weaknesses are joy and, by remarkable coincidence, children named Amil. (Excalibur #77)
WHAT?! (Excalibur #77)
WHAT?! (Excalibur #77)
The cutest pin-up. (Excalibur #77)
The cutest pin-up. (Excalibur #77)
NEXT EPISODE: The adventures of Rachel Summers in the 37th Century!
NEXT EPISODE: The adventures of Rachel Summers in the 37th Century!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING:

256 – Mullets of Time and Space

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which you raised a lot of money for Trans Lifeline; we continue to miss Alan Davis; Rory Campbell should not be narrating a climactic event; Daytripper needs to dial up her eldritch patter; the universe is dubiously self-correcting; Britannic is not nearly weird enough; and we have ongoing concerns about the anatomy of incarnate concepts.

X-PLAINED:

  • The X-Men of Earth-77995
  • Excalibur #75-77
  • Daytripper
  • A somewhat pointless sacrifice
  • Rough times in the timestream
  • Britannic
  • X-theology
  • D’Spayre’s butt
  • The rest of D’Spayre
  • Margali Szardos
  • The blood-brain barrier
  • Acrobatic flirtation
  • The Winding Way
  • Stark emptiness
  • A shocking possible resurrection
  • Major X
  • Essential characters

NEXT EPISODE: The Adventures of Rachel Summers in the 37th Century!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 249 – The Parent Trap

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Sieniewicz, ahoy! (X-Men Unlimited #3)
Sieniewicz, ahoy! (X-Men Unlimited #3)
I can't stop imagining some poor craftsman meticulously working on this window and then disappearing forever. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
I can’t stop imagining some poor craftsman meticulously working on this window and then disappearing forever. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
We have fun. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
We have fun. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
"We'll kill him sometime between 8 AM and maybe about 1 PM on Monday, unless we have to cancel." (X-Men Unlimited #3)
“We’ll kill him sometime between 8 AM and maybe about 1 PM on Monday, unless we have to cancel.” (X-Men Unlimited #3)
I like this guy. He's sensible and he dresses like a Capcom protagonist. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
I like this guy. He’s sensible and he dresses like a Capcom protagonist. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
Spoiler: Nah. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
Spoiler: Nah. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
Maverick is pretty much the worst houseguest. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
Maverick is pretty much the worst houseguest. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
THAT FACE. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
THAT FACE. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
Supersenses out of nowhere would be pretty awful. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
Supersenses out of nowhere would be pretty awful. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
Damn, Creed. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
Damn, Creed. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
I like that it's unclear which of them constitutes the main threat in this horror scene. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
I like that it’s unclear which of them constitutes the main threat in this horror scene. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
How much funnier would this cover have been with Graydon? (X-Men Unlimited #4)
How much funnier would this cover have been with Graydon? (X-Men Unlimited #4)
Mystique takes pride in her murder-work. (X-Men Unlimited #4)
Mystique takes pride in her murder-work. (X-Men Unlimited #4)
After he storms out, the camera goes soft-focus and she sings "Somewhere That's Green." (X-Men Unlimited #4)
After he storms out, the camera goes soft-focus and she sings “Somewhere That’s Green.” (X-Men Unlimited #4)
Parenting lessons with Kurt Wagner! (X-Men Unlimited #4)
Parenting lessons with Kurt Wagner! (X-Men Unlimited #4)
Mystique is so classy. (X-Men Unlimited #4)
Mystique is so classy. (X-Men Unlimited #4)
Nobody will tell him. It's the tragedy equivalent of a running joke. (X-Men Unlimited #4)
Nobody will tell him. It’s the tragedy equivalent of a running joke. (X-Men Unlimited #4)
This kid! (X-Men Unlimited #4)
This kid! (X-Men Unlimited #4)
Family is where the skulls are. (X-Men Unlimited #4)
Family is where the skulls are. (X-Men Unlimited #4)
And you thought Summers family reunions were awkward! (X-Men Unlimited #4)
And you thought Summers family reunions were awkward! (X-Men Unlimited #4)
Moms, amirite? (X-Men Unlimited #4)
Moms, amirite? (X-Men Unlimited #4)
Oof, that footnote. (X-Men Unlimited #4)
Oof, that footnote. (X-Men Unlimited #4)
Family! (X-Men Unlimited #4)
Family! (X-Men Unlimited #4)
NEXT EPISODE: Fabian Nicieza!
NEXT EPISODE: Fabian Nicieza!

LINKS & FURTHER MUTATIONS:

249 – The Parent Trap

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Sabretooth is weirdly ubiquitous; Maverick is a terrible guest; not all second chances are equivalent; Graydon Creed is the red delicious apple of people; Mystique is the master of murder monologues; and the Darkholmes give the Summers family a run for its dysfunctional money.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Men Unlimited #3-4
  • Sabretooth (more) (again)
  • Emergency back-up Wolverine
  • Faces
  • A stained-glass window that is probably a metaphor
  • Evocation
  • Maverick’s nose
  • Maverick’s manners
  • Commcast (but not that one)
  • Sabretooth’s mind
  • The “mystery” of Nightcrawler’s parentage
  • Mystique’s murder monologues
  • Killing Eve
  • The skull of friendship
  • Several versions of Nightcrawler’s backstory
  • Glove magic
  • One way to get out of an awkward family conversation
  • The ‘90s X-Men cartoon
  • Character migration between media

NEXT EPISODE: Fabian Nicieza!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 248 – Destructo Woman

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Sure! Why not? What could POSSIBLY go wrong? (Excalibur #72)
Sure! Why not? What could POSSIBLY go wrong? (Excalibur #72)
'Kay. (Excalibur #73)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #73)
Damnit, Siena Blaze. (Excalibur #73)
Damnit, Siena Blaze. (Excalibur #73)
Phoenix demands proportionate arms! (Excalibur #73)
Phoenix demands proportionate arms! (Excalibur #73)
I don't know why the fact that Moira kept Proteus's entire genome on CD-ROM strikes me as hilarious; but it really, really does. (Excalibur #73)
I don’t know why the fact that Moira kept Proteus’s entire genome on CD-ROM strikes me as hilarious; but it really, really does. (Excalibur #73)
Yelling in the Timestream: The Brian Braddock and Rachel Summers Story. (Excalibur #74)
Yelling in the Timestream: The Brian Braddock and Rachel Summers Story. (Excalibur #74)
You see the eyes, right? (Excalibur #74)
You see the eyes, right? (Excalibur #74)
The odds that Mr. Sinister got that knife at a mall kiosk are basically 100%. (Excalibur #74)
The odds that Mr. Sinister got that knife at a mall kiosk are basically 100%. (Excalibur #74)
You're a good kid, Jubilee. (Excalibur #74)
You’re a good kid, Jubilee. (Excalibur #74)
I like to think they're both just yelling. (X-Force #31)
I like to think they’re both just yelling. (X-Force #31)
The garden is a metaphor that is also a real garden. (X-Force #31)
The garden is a metaphor that is also a real garden. (X-Force #31)
Why is this random blonde dude so hung up on the Cassidy family? We'll never know. (X-Force #31)
Why is this random blonde dude so hung up on the Cassidy family? We’ll never know. (X-Force #31)
I just really love those yelling pages. (X-Force #31)
I just really love those yelling pages. (X-Force #31)
"And yet, despite all those years of gardening, I'm still not sure how to hold a rake." (X-Force #31)
“And yet, despite all those years of gardening, I’m still not sure how to hold a rake.” (X-Force #31)
He's an angry tree, but he's an angry tree who cares. (X-Force #31)
He’s an angry tree, but he’s an angry tree who cares. (X-Force #31)
NEXT EPISODE: More family fun!
NEXT EPISODE: More family fun!

248 – Destructo Woman

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Tom Cassidy and Cain Marko may be the most stable couple in the Marvel Universe; Rory Campbell is no Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau; Siena Blaze remains a big jerk; the Cassidy family has some issues; and we are dismayed by an inexplicable dearth of leprechauns.

X-PLAINED:

  • Birthday presents
  • What Excalibur has been up to
  • Excalibur #72-74
  • X-Force #31
  • How to be mysterious
  • The Proteus Room
  • The continually terrible choices of Moira MacTaggert
  • Porridge ghosts
  • An unnatural disaster
  • Chekhov’s solid rock
  • Rory Campbell
  • Destructo Woman
  • Limitations of CD-ROMs
  • Siryn (Theresa Cassidy)
  • The Cassidy family
  • How not to treat a gunshot wound
  • Kelvin Donaghann and his fancy hair
  • An intervention
  • The future of the New Mutants feature film
  • Underwear

NEXT EPISODE: Family Reunion!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 236 – Baggage of Traumas Past

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
THAT'S the image I always remember from this scene. (Wolverine #75)
THAT’S the image I always remember from this scene. (Wolverine #75)
The inside of Wolverine's mind is surprisingly derivative. (Wolverine #75)
The inside of Wolverine’s mind is surprisingly derivative. (Wolverine #75)
Throes of the Phoenix Saga... Wolverine #75)
Throes of the Phoenix Saga… Wolverine #75)
Scott is clearly with me on this reading. (Wolverine #75)
Scott is clearly with me on this reading. (Wolverine #75)
There are a lot of people who would have made more sense than Illyana here. (Wolverine #75)
There are a lot of people who would have made more sense than Illyana here. (Wolverine #75)
IN THIS HOUSE WE STAN JEAN GREY. (Wolverine #75)
IN THIS HOUSE WE STAN JEAN GREY. (Wolverine #75)
Aw. (Wolverine #75)
Aw. (Wolverine #75)
That. Sound. Effect. (Wolverine #75)
That. Sound. Effect. (Wolverine #75)
One very good day to frame a conversation. (Wolverine #75)
One very good day to frame a conversation. (Wolverine #75)
I hate it when I get extra body parts via retcon. (Wolverine #75)
I hate it when I get extra body parts via retcon. (Wolverine #75)
Use as you see fit. (Wolverine #75)
Use as you see fit. (Wolverine #75)
And then, everything got awkward. (Excalibur #71)
And then, everything got awkward. (Excalibur #71)
How you know something big is going on and/or your sales are flagging. (Excalibur #71)
How you know something big is going on and/or your sales are flagging. (Excalibur #71)
Professor Xavier is a JERK. (Excalibur #71)
Professor Xavier is a JERK. (Excalibur #71)
Ouch. (Excalibur #71)
Ouch. (Excalibur #71)
Meanwhile in the B-Plot... (Excalibur #71)
Meanwhile in the B-Plot… (Excalibur #71)
AW. (Excalibur #71)
AW. (Excalibur #71)
Aw, man, my heart. (Excalibur #71)
Aw, man, my heart. (Excalibur #71)
WELL THAT WAS A SURPRISE. (Excalibur #71)
WELL THAT WAS A SURPRISE. (Excalibur #71)
Aw, Piotr. I'd like to say that it gets better for him from here, but... (Excalibur #71)
Aw, Piotr. I’d like to say that it gets better for him from here, but… (Excalibur #71)
Has anyone ever rocked a blue-and-gold Phoenix costume? It's not half bad! (Excalibur #71)
Has anyone ever rocked a blue-and-gold Phoenix costume? It’s not half bad! (Excalibur #71)
NEXT EPISODE: Time to get X-TREME!
NEXT EPISODE: Time to get X-TREME!

LINKS & FURTHER CLONES:

236 – Baggage of Traumas Past (Fatal Attractions, Part 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Decimation was kind of sketchy; you should definitely come see us in Seattle; Wolverine has a rough day; Colossus has yet another rough day; Excalibur plans for the future; and Fatal Attractions comes to a close.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Professor X got his groove and/or powers back
  • Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con
  • Wolverine #75
  • Excalibur #71
  • Psychic trauma
  • High-stakes references
  • The personal Ragnarok of a shattered soul
  • A really effective sound effect
  • The first day of the rest of Logan’s life
  • Butterflies of the Xavier School
  • Muir Island’s psychiatric ward
  • Medical consent
  • The worst bar, probably
  • Professorial disambiguation
  • What Micromax and Kyluun are probably definitely up to
  • Several variably awkward Grey-Summers family reunions
  • A betrayal
  • Amelia Voght
  • Unuscione
  • Katu
  • The future of Excalibur
  • Proactive superheroism
  • How not to make a White Russian
  • Shadowcat’s recovery post-Mutant Massacre
  • Our etymological destinies

NEXT EPISODE: It’s time to get X-TREME!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!