Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Lilandra

285 – Immediately if Not Sooner

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Goldballs is still a better name than Egg; we continue our progress towards Earth-295; Legion pulls a Stryfe; we’re still pretty shaky on how to pronounce “M’Kraan”; Xavier and Magneto were absolutely and unquestionably doing sex in the 1970s; it’s time time; the Watcher is watching you masturbate; and what happens immediately before the end of the world is often as important as what happens immediately after.

X-PLAINED:

  • Balls
  • Legion (more) (again)
  • Uncanny X-Men 320-321
  • X-Men #40
  • Establishing stakes
  • Slang of the mid-1990s
  • Time travel as a dick move
  • Issues vs. episodes
  • The M’Kraan Crystal (more) (again)
  • Hebrew vowels
  • Latent time travel abilities
  • Charles Xavier’s “first” bar fight
  • An exceptional caption
  • A very bad narrative choice
  • The death of Charles Francis Xavier
  • A load-bearing moment in time
  • Jahf the Guardian
  • Waiting for the end of the world
  • The best-drawn kiss in X-Men, ever
  • The many Krakoas
  • Integrating Legion into Dawn of X

NEXT EPISODE: More Legion Quest!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 265 – Rude Awakenings

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Is anyone else weirded out by the fact that that’s supposed to be Forge in the lower right-hand corner? (X-Men Annual #5)
The Shi’ar sext WEIRD. (X-Men Annual #5)
Professor X was definitely naked, right? (X-Men Annual #5)
The weirdest thing about this panel is that the tractor beam seems to have shrunk her shirt by about half. (X-Men Annual #5)
Professor X X-Plains human-Shi’ar relations. (X-Men Annual #5)
FASHION! (X-Men Annual #5)
Imagine how confusing it must be to run into Jubilee on alien planets. (X-Men Annual #5)
I DID NOT NOTICE THE HANGING TEDDY BEAR UNTIL I CLIPPED THE PANEL FOR THIS VISUAL COMPANION. (X-Men Annual #5)
He’s a hugger. (X-Men Annual #5)
Be fair, Gambit: there are a LOT of reasons Cyclops is never fun at parties. (X-Men #34)
BUT WHO IS LURKING IN THE FOREGROUND? (X-Men #34)
Sinister, moisturize your damn clones. (X-Men #34)
Oh, hey, Threnody! (X-Men #34)
‘Kay. (X-Men #34)
Ewwwwwwww. (X-Men #34)
Please bear in mind that these are costumes S.H.I.E.L.D. just happened to have lying around the Helicarrier. (X-Men #35)
“Also, do you know how hard it was to dress you in skintight neoprene while you were unconscious?” (X-Men #35)
The end of the world looks pretty rad. (X-Men #35)
Some artists definitely made some choices. (X-Men #35)
That’s our Cyclops. (X-Men #35)
Some of the layouts in this issue are really nice. (X-Men #35)
Sunset Grace X-Plains Sunset Grace (and marries Ronald Reagan). (X-Men #35)
Ouch. (X-Men #35)
NEXT EPISODE: Malice!

FURTHER LISTENING

265 – Rude Awakenings

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Glen Danzig was the most popular Wolverine fancast for a weirdly long time; breasts have physical mass; the Shi’ar empire is not your friend; Deathbird should not be left in charge of anything alive; Jubilee learns about privilege; Sinister is not subtle; plasma is the new magnetism; Scott and Jean return from the future; and Nick Fury probably sews his name into the waistband of all his underpants.

X-PLAINED:

  • Some guy from Earth-1610
  • X-Men: Unlimited #5
  • X-Men #34-35
  • Shi’ar sexting
  • A rude awakening (literal)
  • Rococo Stryfe
  • Some uncomfortable fashion choices
  • X-pajamas
  • Definitely nude Charles Xavier
  • Breasts
  • Shi’ar imperial bullshit
  • A very impressive headdress
  • Reality TV… in space!
  • A rude awakening (metaphorical)
  • Shi’ar childhood
  • Negotiation
  • A total dick move
  • Another total dick move
  • Beast’s brief tenure as field leader of the X-Men
  • The return of Threnody
  • The titles of several sex tapes
  • High-tech spelunking
  • Sinister’s secret DNA library
  • Controversial outfits
  • Nick Fury’s stuff
  • Sunset Grace
  • The racism inherent to Evan Sabahnur’s background
  • A question we’ve answered before and will probably answer again

NEXT EPISODE: Malice!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 232 – Careful With That Axe, Cerise

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
…Okay. then. (Excalibur #68)
“Now, do you want new handlebars, or should I just go ahead and go back to my lamp?” (Excalibur #68)
HI, STARJAMMERS! (Excalibur #68)
And that’s why you always leave a note. (Excalibur #69)
Oh, c’mon. I know you’re evil and bloodthirsty, but shooting corpses is just gratuitous. (Excalibur #69)
Sigh. (Excalibur #69)
Well, that works. (Excalibur #69)
I love this person. (Excalibur #69)
Fang! But not that Fang! A different Fang! (Excalibur #69)
Aw, these two. (Excalibur #70)
Awk-ward. (Excalibur #70)
The saddest staring contest. (Excalibur #70)
This seems legally dubious, but okay. (Excalibur #70)
Cerise X-Plains war crimes. (Excalibur #70)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Men Unlimited!

LINKS & FURTHER ANECDOTES

232 – Careful With That Axe, Cerise

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we’re still not over Into the Spider-Verse; Excalibur becomes an official X-book; Feron tries to help; Butts are fundamental; we care about the weird stuff; threats are unnecessary; and we were all always already Erik the Red.

X-PLAINED:

  • Several characters’ Earth-65 counterparts
  • The X-Office
  • Judging people for not being Alan Davis
  • Excalibur #68-70
  • A slippery story title
  • The unceremonious disappearance of Captain Britain
  • Mullets of space and time
  • Angst-ridden super-types, all of whom are morbidly obsessed with death
  • The other war criminal in Excalibur
  • Fashion trends of the Shi’ar Empire
  • Krag
  • Important conversations to have with your significant other
  • A sadness staredown
  • Cerise’s actual secret origins
  • A fairly poetic life sentence
  • The cleverest fights
  • Our 2019 Convention Schedule
  • How to get Jay & Miles at your local convention

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men Unlimited!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 165 – Pop Rocks

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Triple gatefold? That’s a lot of gatefold! (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Oh, man, the Starjammers are so cool, even when they’re evil alien duplicates. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
And that was the end of Wolverine, forever. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Not gonna lie: there are a LOT of splash pages and spreads in this visual companion. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
So many reasons, Banshee. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
I mean, technically Wolverine just won back her throne, but, whatever. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Look at all those fancy X-Men! (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Wolverine parties like a Robert E. Howard protagonist. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
I know this is supposed to be sinister, but it’s also kind of hilarious. (You gotta imagine the YOINK SFX in the second panel.) (Uncanny X-Men #275)
PROFESSOR XAVIER IS A JERK! (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Another two-page spread? DON’T MIND IF I DO! (Uncanny X-Men #276)
Pop rocks! (Uncanny X-Men #276)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Uncanny X-Men #276)
I want to watch this movie. (Uncanny X-Men #276)
No, but seriously: Professor Xavier is a jerk. (Uncanny X-Men #276)
Well, that got weird. Weirder. (Uncanny X-Men #276)
Star Trek reference! Take a drink! Wait, no, that’s not a podcast game, that’s just Jay’s reading game. (Uncanny X-Men #276)
Yep, it’s another two-page spread. Don’t blame us–blame Jim Lee! (Uncanny X-Men #277)
…well, that explains some things. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
Oh, snap! (Uncanny X-Men #277)
Ooh, callback! Very clever, Gambit. Kinda creepy, but, y’know, clever. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
Even when he’s a skrull, it’s pretty satisfying to watch Charles Xavier get punched. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
VAMP! (Uncanny X-Men #277)
NEXT EPISODE: Stealth at all times.

165 – Pop Rocks

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

 

In which Charles Xavier returns to the pages of Uncanny X-Men; Storm is out of our league forever; Miles would be a terrible president; Psylocke picks up the frequent-shower torch; everyone gets possessed; Gambit acts more Sinister than he is; and our NYCC panel is definitely on THURSDAY, not Friday.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Pantheon
  • Uncanny X-Men #275-277
  • Dinosaurs in space
  • A very impressive cover
  • Several kinds of manacle
  • Small children we’d like to see beat up Gladiator
  • Varying levels of Evil Charles Xavier
  • A nefarious plan
  • Double death
  • FailCat Logan
  • Two bad, beautiful babes with really big guns
  • Some excellent sound effects
  • Awesome space fights
  • Shopping with Deathbird
  • Mall vs. maul
  • X-archenemies

NEXT EPISODE: The Kings of Pain!

NOTE: Seriously, the NYCC Panel is on THURSDAY. Not Friday. THURSDAY. It’s official now.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 139 – Starjammed

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Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and coffee mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Dave Cockrum should draw all the space pirates, always. (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)
Space plank! (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)
Meet Vam and Mer. They’re about to die. More. Again. (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)
“As a Summers, I recognize the value of an artfully tattered costume.” (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)
Professor X is a dick. (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)
The best planet. (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)
Seriously, though, Doki-Doki Universe is wonderful.
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)
These delightful scamps. (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)
Oh, hey, look! It’s the Starjammer! (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)
Remember that time the dethroned empress of the Shi’ar threw poop at her sister? Because that happened. (Spotlight on Starjammers #2)
‘Kay. (Spotlight on Starjammers #2)
Ron Howard voiceover: “It was not a brilliant idea.” (Spotlight on Starjammers #2)
They’re totally gonna do it! (Spotlight on Starjammers #2)
QUICK! PUNCH EACH OTHER FOR NO REAL REASON! (Spotlight on Starjammers #2)
O.o (Spotlight on Starjammers #2)
So, that happened. (Spotlight on Starjammers #2)
One more Dave Cockrum space-pirate fight, just because we can! (Spotlight on Starjammers #2)
NEXT EPISODE: Christmas with Cable, featuring Dennis Hopeless!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING:

We talked a lot about the Starjammers with Greg Rucka in Episode 7: Cyclops Has a Good Day!

For more ResurrXion talk, check out Jay & Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 107.

139 – Starjammed

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Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and coffee mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Spotlight on Starjammers is basically a RPG module; Jay may or may not have developed superpowers; artfully tattered clothing is a Summers family tradition; the Starjammers kill a planet; Raza may or may not be super progressive; and Professor X dies (again).

X-PLAINED:

  • The T-Bomb
  • Spotlight on Starjammers #1-2
  • The Starjammers (more) (again)
  • Phlazers
  • Keel-hauling
  • The space plank
  • Phalkon
  • The Groff System
  • Vam & Mer
  • Cr’eee’s dubious past
  • Several really on-the-nose planets
  • Doki-Doki Universe
  • A critical comma
  • The expected endurance of the Starjammer
  • A Shi’ar imperial poop fight
  • Zenith
  • Many cameos
  • An entirely gratuitous superhero slugfest
  • Death Phoenix
  • Bald Phoenix
  • Several dropped plot threads
  • Our thoughts on ResurrXion
  • Creative teams vs. characters

NEXT EPISODE: Christmas with Cable (feat. Dennis Hopeless)!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 50 – The People Vs. Erik Lehnsherr

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 4/5/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Professor Xavier reacts to the Xorn retcons. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Someone really needs to make a gif out of those three panels on the left. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Not satisfied with his own series, the Beyonder derails someone else’s. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
This is so ridiculously rude. I mean, what if Father Bowen had been asleep, or naked, or talking to a parishioner, or something? “SURPRISE!” (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Kurt Wagner echoes some common criticisms of Secret Wars. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Awkward. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
KITTY’S FACE. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Given the parallels between Rachel Summers and Magneto’s backgrounds, it would have been really cool to see this relationship developed further. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
So doomed. (Uncanny X-Men #197)
Aw, these kids. (Uncanny X-Men #197)
Oh, hi, Phoenix II! (Uncanny X-Men #199)
While we’re on the subject: Check out Allie Kleber’s gorgeous design for a ballgown version of Rachel’s first Phoenix costume!
Cue-ball special! Take a drink! (Uncanny X-Men #199)
You can almost hear the slash fiction springing into being. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
We’d make “Rachel and Scott Summers pointedly fail to communicate” a drink cue, but no one’s liver deserves that. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
It is super weird how much Val Cooper looks like Tiffani-Amber Thiessen, given that Thiessen would have been eleven years old when this comic came out. Photo-reference of future past? (Uncanny X-Men #199)
“We’ll start by attacking a dude at a Holocaust memorial. It’ll be great practice for your PR team!” (Uncanny X-Men #199)
Rachel Summers was totally the best Phoenix. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
Magneto is a morally complex individual with really excellent hair. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
No matter how much you love your job, you will never love it as much as Mystique loves hers. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
Magneto’s speech here is important, but what you’re really looking at here is his well-tailored suit. You’d expect him to show up to his trial in something like this, right? (Uncanny X-Men #199)
NOPE. Why wear a conservative suit to your trial when you could wear opera gloves and a sleeveless unitard with an M pointing directly to your crotch? (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Neal Conan x-plains Magneto. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
“The counsels for the prosecution and defense have been selected based on the quality of their Joan Rivers impressions.” (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Oh, these assholes. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
So, basically, it’s Tuesday. Also: best editor’s note ever? Best editor’s note ever. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
I don’t think we talked about it in the episode, but this issue has the best damn sound effects. Seriously, I’m just gonna post a bunch of these, because they are great, and the lettering is aces. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
VYANNG! KRAKOOM! (Uncanny X-Men #200)
SKBOOM! (Uncanny X-Men #200)
RKOW! (Uncanny X-Men #200)
KTHAM! (Uncanny X-Men #200)
ZARK! TUNCH! BDAM! THIS LETTERING, Y’ALL. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Let’s all take a moment to appreciate Kitty’s hella sweet outfit. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
You’re not wrong, Madelyne. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
There’s something intrinsically hilarious about Starjammers fly-bys. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
KITTY, FOCUS ON THE PROBLEM AT… oh. Sorry. That was in poor taste. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Pretty sure that last speech balloon was supposed to be Kitty’s, not Scott’s. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
MAGNETO MADE SOME VALID POINTS. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Agh, god, Tom Orzechowski’s sound effects are SO GOOD. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Sir James Jaspers: total dick. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
CANON: This lady’s name is Judge Kickass. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Atonement

Cleric lvl 5 / Druid lvl 5

Range: Touch

(Uncanny X-Men #200)

NEXT WEEK: ECCC special, featuring Kris Anka, Marguerite Bennett, Kieron Gillen, and Peter Nguyen! (No idea why this photo is showing up upside down, but it looks kind of rad, so we’re just gonna run with it.)

LINKS AND FURTHER READING: