Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: mastermind

As Mentioned in Episode 505 – The Amulet of Ass

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Excalibur volume 2! But actually more like Captain Britain volume 2. (Excalibur #1)
Pretty sure we’ve all had that dream. (Excalibur #1)
What a sciencey science machine that is! (Excalibur #1)
You’d think Betsy’s face tattoo would remind Brian of the Crimson Dawn… But honestly, who remembers the Crimson Dawn? (Excalibur #1)
Where’s Waldo? (Or, this being a British story: Where’s Wally?) (Excalibur #1)
Some friend. (Excalibur #1)
Captain UK’s mullet remains sweet. (Excalibur #1)
Hi, Crusader X! (Excalibur #2)
Meggan didn’t get the memo that this was a crotch-first mission. (Excalibur #2)
…as played by Viggo Mortensen. (Excalibur #2)
I do love a good Team Hero pose. (Excalibur #2)
“It’s… probably one of these things on my back… Hang on…” (Excalibur #2)
The Brit-Cave! (Excalibur #2)
Subtlety! (Excalibur #3)
The greatest hero in history, chosen primarily for his… sperm? (Excalibur #3)
“Not, like, literally Excalibur. That thing’s in the next room.” (Excalibur #3)
An evil science machine! (Excalibur #3)
You guys used to be cuter. And less murderous. (Excalibur #3)
Gahhh, this panel is referencing a specific past panel from a specific past comic, but we can’t remember which! (Excalibur #3)
Sword of Omens, grant me sight beyond sight! (Excalibur #3)
Best trope best trope! (Excalibur #4)
Mastermind wields the blade Excalibur! Brian Braddock wields an especially dangerous word balloon! (Excalibur #4)
With the powers of elemental magic, telekinesis, and… sword! (Excalibur #4)
It works way better to sacrifice your queen when your queen is immune to death. (Excalibur #4)
“Hey, I liked my spikes, ya jerk!” (Excalibur #4)
The chamber would be filled with old familiar faces, but they’re all dead. (Excalibur #4)
…and no one ever spoke of this again. (Excalibur #4)
NEXT TIME: Rachel Summers is back!

505 – The Amulet of Ass

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In which Widget takes a heel turn; there is some confusion over sword identification; we appreciate Sir Benedict of the Falls; the Braddock family has a lot going on; and Otherworld changes hands.

X-PLAINED:

  • Names for flying horses
  • Excalibur (2001 miniseries) #1-4
  • Captain Britain (Brian Braddock) (briefly) (again)
  • The Black Knight (Dane Whitman)
  • Darkmoor Research Facility
  • Sword and amulet distribution
  • Strider the Horse
  • Why all the horses of Asgard have Tolkien names
  • Sir Benedict of the Falls and his many axes
  • One way to win a bridge fight
  • Sword pops
  • Several continuity errors
  • Holographic James Braddock
  • The Dad Cave
  • Otherworld eugenecists
  • A coronation
  • A twist
  • Some potential X-Factor lineups
  • Life expectancies of mutants with healing factors

NEXT EPISODE: Cable fights some guys.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 503 – Dream’s Anticlimax

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No, seriously. (Uncanny X-Men #388)
Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men #388)
A nonspecific explosion. (Uncanny X-Men #388)
So large. (Cable #87)
no but seriously how (Cable #87)
Bye, Post. (Cable #87)
One of his teammates has to draw the tattoo on every morning with a sharpie. (Bishop: The Last X-Man #16)
Every time they watch a movie, Wolverine carefully explains to his teammates that it’s not real. (Bishop: The Last X-Man #16)
Mother of the year. (Bishop: The Last X-Man #16)
Now kiss! (X-Men #108)
This is not subtext, although it may be an anagram of subtext. (X-Men #108)
NEXT EPISODE: SKA!

503 – Dream’s Anticlimax

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In which history repeats itself; Senator Kelly prevaricates (and then dies); Magneto keeps the cape on; Mystique does evil science; Post remains irrelevant (and then dies); Pyro saves the day (and then dies); Cable is a large man; Moira MacTaggert does the astral nasty (and then dies); and we really, really, really want to go to Froggy World.

X-PLAINED:

  • Moira MacTaggert’s mutation
  • A dubious plan
  • Evidence that we are in the wrong universe
  • Other crossovers named “Dream’s End”
  • A significant disclaimer
  • Uncanny X-Men #388
  • Cable #87
  • Bishop: The Last X-Men #16
  • X-Men #108
  • A surprise presidential platform
  • Sir Gordon Phillips and his guests
  • The new Brotherhood of Mutants
  • Cable’s hair
  • A lot of movie allusions
  • An ambiguous explosion
  • A deeply pointless retcon
  • An illusion
  • Cable’s psimitar
  • Pyro’s last stand
  • Dickalogue
  • Astral sex
  • The (apparent) death of Moira MacTaggert
  • A weird bonding moment in a cemetery
  • How to identify a time traveler
  • The (actual) death of Senator Robert Kelly
  • Mutant-free parts of the Marvel Universe
  • Froggy World

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 297 – Blood Is Compulsory

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
We were not nearly that ripped when we were 17. Or that telekinetic, I guess. (X-Man #1)
As entertaining as it is to imagine him with Schwarzenegger’s accent, I guess Cyclops is more John Connor than he is the T-800. (X-Man #1)
What I wouldn’t give for these guys to have their own ongoing comic… (X-Man #1)
I mean, seriously! How great would it be? Half revolutionary, half thespian, all delightful! (X-Man #1)
Black Tom Cassidy’s hair went white the day he lost his shillelagh. (X-Man #1)
Characters who need their own book, figure 3. (X-Man #1)
IS YOUR NAME OMEGA BLUE, ARKADY? NO IT IS NOT! (X-Man #2)
This is the Earth-295 equivalent of playing catch. (X-Man #2)
Sunspot would be proud. (And god damn, Steve Skroce is good at drawing telekinesis.) (X-Man #2)
Come on, Forge… How could you not trust a guy with a smile that big and a forehead diamond that he assures you is merely a fashion statement? (X-Man #2)
Nightmare factory? Heavy metal album cover? Why not both? (X-Man #2)
Butter Rum of Earth-295 does not approve. (X-Man #2)
The best-dressed D&D party of the Age of Apocalypse. (X-Man #3)
Whoa, Jason – maybe dial it back a little? (X-Man #3)
Schlonk? (X-Man #3)
Steve Skroce, making psychic powers look amazing since 1993. (Anyone remember Ectokid?) (X-Man #3)
I’m so glad they get to have this before everything goes to hell. (X-Man #3)
I’m not psychically crying you’re psychically crying (X-Man #3)
Jeph Loeb gets Sinister. (X-Man #4)
Does Mister Sinister practice his smug smiles in the mirror for moments like these? I mean, obviously he does, but like, for how long? (X-Man #4)
pterodactylwithapulserifle.tumblr.com (X-Man #4)
“To die will be an awfully big adventure.” (X-Man #4)
“Their eyes locked through the hole they’d smashed through the wall, and though they’d never truly met, they knew what they were: family.” (X-Man #4)
OBSCENE MONUMENT. (X-Man #4)
Hey, it’s Nate’s early, even more Dune-like design! (X-Men Collector’s Preview #1)
NEXT TIME: Being Human.

297 – Blood Is Compulsory

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Nate Grey is a drama kid; Forge-295 is the hero we need; Mister Sinister is a graduate of the Danielle “Moonstar” Moonstar school of secret identities; and we really, really, really wish that the theater troupe had gotten the ongoing series.

X-PLAINED:

  • Just how powerful Nate Grey is
  • X-Man’s somewhat baffling ongoing appeal
  • X-Man #1-4
  • A theater company
  • The Best Forge (Earth-295)
  • Toad (Earth-295)
  • Sauron (Earth-295)
  • Brute (Earth-295)
  • An extended Tom Stoppard allusion
  • “Essex”
  • Domino (Earth-295)
  • Theater in and as resistance
  • An ineffectual ruse
  • A lot of death
  • Caliban (Earth-295)
  • A family reunion
  • The story we really wanted out of this series
  • The X-Man ongoing series
  • Chronically missing New Mutants
  • X-arcs we’d like to see animated

NEXT EPISODE: X-Universe!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop! This June, we’ll be donating all of the profits to Trans Lifeline!

As Mentioned in Episode 231 – Life Bites

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I feel like this cover is generally a good metaphor for the 1993 Marvel annuals. (X-Factor Annual #8)
Just once, I want this setup to turn out to be a red herring. (X-Factor Annual #8)
Random is either time displaced or the world’s most precocious gamete. (X-Factor Annual #8)
And that’s why you always leave a note! (X-Factor Annual #8)
Remember that time Strong Guy called out casual ableism and it was AWESOME? (X-Factor Annual #8)
Well, that was an unexpected turn. (X-Factor Annual #8)
The real question is how many of them summon him in order to make fun of his name. (X-Factor Annual #8)
For some value of “deadly,” at least. (X-Factor Annual #8)
Aw, Guido. (X-Factor Annual #8)
Good dog. (X-Factor Annual #8)
Teleports more than walks, really. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
“Honestly, he really has no idea what the hell he’s doing.” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
They even have their own entrance music. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
Okay. This looks bad. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
Grey-Summers problems. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
This seems pretty fundamentally unfair. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
You’re not wrong. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
OH, SNAP. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
He’ll be okay. Kind of. Eventually. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
“By the way, has anyone ever told you that you have a crayon name? Because you totally have a crayon name. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
Yep. (Excalibur Annual #1)
Kitty X-Plains your dreams. (Excalibur Annual #1)
When will Excalibur learn that nothing good ever comes from hanging out with wizards. (Excalibur Annual #1)
Nothing good… except for THIS DUDE! (Excalibur Annual #1)
This is Captain Britain’s M.O. in a nutshell. (Excalibur Annual #1)
“Guys, we’re playing Spelljammer now.” (Excalibur Annual #1)
Meanwhile, with Technet. (Excalibur Annual #1)
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur goes to space!

LINKS & OTHER AMENITIES:

You can make your own Sienna Blaze lipstick!

While it’s setting, why not read more about the 1993 Marvel annuals and Evan Skolnick’s D&D campaign!

Or you could watch The Gamers and develop a deeper understanding of Jay’s joke about Captain Britain at the gaming table.

And there’s always Episode 21 – Kurt Busiek at the Coffee-a-Go-Go, where we delve deep into the wonders of Metoxo the Lava Man!

231 – Life Bites

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which DC is out of our bailiwick; Random gets around; someone finally makes an explicit reference to disability politics; death has not improved the Chalkers; Strong Guy can’t catch a break; we’re all whole other people; Sienna Blaze has a crayon name; we totally want to play D&D with Evan Skolnick; a trading card does not a memorable character make; and we are 100% here for the mutant episode of Sesame Street.

  • X-PLAINED:
  • What happened to Fred Duncan
  • Beastwriting
  • Marvel’s 1993 Annuals
  • The speculator boom
  • X-Factor Annual #8
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #17
  • Excalibur Annual #1
  • Charlie Ronalds (Charon) and his issues
  • A protracted Batman reference
  • How to string pearls
  • A dubious twist on the danger room
  • The pure joy of a child, but twisted and distorted like a shredded butterfly
  • Cloot (Satannish)
  • Howling Mad, by Peter David
  • The greatest enemies of X-Factor (but not really)
  • Cruel and arbitrary moralizing
  • The other X-Cutioner (Carl Denti)
  • A protracted illusion
  • The Amazing Icemaster
  • Metacommentary
  • An accidental trap
  • The death of Jason Wyngarde (Mastermind)
  • Resolution versus forgiveness
  • The other first appearance of Sienna Blaze
  • More wizard stuff
  • Khaos
  • Khaos & Gritty 4 Lyfe
  • Ghath
  • Irth
  • Mutants on Sesame Street
  • Cycling in and out of comics

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur goes to space!

CORRECTION: Chris Claremont did not in fact write Dragonlance comics.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 146 – Asshole Factor

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Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at Redbubble, or contact David to purchase the original!
This Sidney Poitier movie has taken an unexpected turn. (Excalibur #25)
Chris Wozniak is not Alan Davis; but then, few are. (Excalibur #25)
Death, Death, Death, and Death. (Excalibur #25)
This cannot possibly end badly, right? (Excalibur #26)
Dark Phoenix Saga callback! (Excalibur #26)
Days of Future Past callback! We’re hitting all the classics this issue! (Excalibur #26)
The best ruse. (Excalibur #26)
“…you asshole.” (Excalibur #26)
Oh, man. Barry Windsor-Smith and Bill Sienkiewicz should draw all the reality warpers. (Excalibur #27)
Nigel is just incredibly persistently awful. (Excalibur #27)
Even odds that they’ll be legitimately intimidated by Vixen’s killer abs. (Excalibur #27)
Meanwhile in Nth Man… (Excalibur #27)
Excalibur in a nutshell. (Excalibur #27)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #27)
I appreciate the de facto citation. (Excalibur #27)
NEXT EPISODE: Yep.

 

146 – Asshole Factor (feat. Elisabeth Allie)

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Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at Redbubble, or contact David to purchase the original!

In which Elisabeth plans for her reign as Omniversal Majestrix; Hulks and moons are two great tastes that go great together; Nightcrawler takes the lead; Alastair gets a new gadget; it’s just not a cosmic event without Alan Davis; Mastermind is still the absolute worst; Excalibur fixes problems by playing dress-up; Moira MacTaggert desperately needs to hire some staff; and Jamie Braddock is legitimately terrifying.

X-PLAINED:

  • M’gubgub
  • Nth Man
  • Excalibur #25-27
  • Nova (Frankie Raye)
  • The continually poor decisions of Brian Braddock
  • A convergence of cosmic forces
  • Lumberjack Death
  • Character growth both literal and metaphorical
  • A cosmic snit
  • Asshole Factor
  • A villainous ruse
  • Several rounds of reality warping
  • Definitive incarnations of characters

NEXT EPISODE: Rictor has issues!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on the blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)