Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Professor

As Mentioned in Episode 497 – Stranger Things

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Astra: shows up for two pages, is a hilarious jerk, refuses to elaborate, leaves. (X-Men Forever #4)
Seriously, there’s a name for the linked-circles-phone-call-thing, right? (X-Men Forever #4)
Getcher Lava Lamp Babies! Three fer the price o’ two! (X-Men Forever #4)
Science is making me feel uncomfortable… (X-Men Forever #4)
Anyway, here’s the history of literally everything. (X-Men Forever #4)
In the future, we will all look more like we do in the movies! (X-Men Forever #5)
Oof, right in the bobbies. (X-Men Forever #5)
It’s Jean’s alternate-alternate-future daughter! (X-Men Forever #5)
“I could defeat you with a single twitch of my left mustache.” (X-Men Forever #6)
“How do I get out of this conversation gaaahhhh he just keeps talking I do NOT want to hear any more about cryptocurrency” (X-Men Forever #6)
In which the art reaches for the stars. (X-Men Forever #6)
A day in the life of an information technology professional. (X-Men Forever #6)
Toad 2.0! Or like, 7.0 if you count all the inconsistencies in his past depictions. (X-Men Forever #6)
Mystique 2.0! But if the first X-Men movie crossed over with Tron. (X-Men Forever #6)
In case you’re wondering, the Stranger’s mustache was already like that even before he got punched in the nose. (X-Men Forever #6)
Toad, as is often the case, has learned nothing. (X-Men Forever #6)
Next time: X-Force gets even more x-treme!

497 – Stranger Things

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In which Prosh’s plans sort of come to fruition; we do not know very much about movies; Iceman dies (but is fine); The Stranger gets around; and Toad learns nothing.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Stranger
  • X-Men Forever #4-6
  • Prosh (more) (again)
  • The story so far
  • Astra (again)
  • The Black Womb Project
  • Toad’s secret origins, possibly
  • Fashion
  • Hazard
  • Amanda Mueller (a bit)
  • Anguirus
  • The end of human civilization
  • Foreshadowing
  • A dramatic reveal
  • Several makeovers
  • Darth Toad
  • Fighting arenas / community theaters

NEXT EPISODE: Mystique reassembles the Brotherhood!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 496 – Time After Time

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A motley crew if we ever did see one! (X-Men Forever #1)
Say hello to our favorite ancient and benevolent hood ornament, Prosh! (X-Men Forever #1)
Prosh makes some friends. (X-Men Forever #1)
Remember this guy? No? You’re not familiar with Classic X-Men backup stories? Then… good luck. (X-Men Forever #1)
I am trading in my car right now. (X-Men Forever #1)
Prosh x-plains… pretty much everything. (X-Men Forever #1)
Raven Darkholme, making the hard choices. (X-Men Forever #2)
Judgment War reference! Alert! We have a Judgment War reference! (X-Men Forever #2)
If looks could kill… Half the population of Earth would be dead. (X-Men Forever #2)
Legion x-plains the Age of Apocalypse. (X-Men Forever #2)
Fast Travel Mode is weird. (X-Men Forever #2)
This is a very Marvel Comics moment. (X-Men Forever #3)
Things probably don’t get more complicated than this, right? (X-Men Forever #3)
The Snowman Era! (X-Men Forever #3)
Silver Age gotta Silver Age. (X-Men Forever #3)
NEXT TIME: Things do get more complicated.

496 – Time After Time

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In which Prosh assembles a peculiar team; the cosmic forces are somewhat paranoid; Mystique gets shit done; and we are very into the concept of Toadland.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Black Womb Project
  • X-Men Forever #1-3
  • Prosh
  • Several custom-grown people
  • A motley crew of mutants (and one human)
  • Cataclysm keys
  • The assassination of Graydon Creed
  • Several poignant reunions
  • The cosmic construction worker (Death)
  • Why the Phoenix Force chose Jean Grey
  • How much continuity is too much continuity
  • Pyro’s romance novels

NEXT EPISODE: The rest of the series!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 275 – End of the Summer

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
HI, PROSH. (X-Force #39)
Look at this charming weirdo. (X-Force #39)
You see what I mean about the frolicking? (X-Force #39)
Damn skippy! (X-Force #39)
Well, that can’t be good. (X-Force #39)
I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING (X-Force #39)
This whole issue has a very Looney Toons vibe. (X-Factor #107)
It’s good that they can find common ground. (X-Factor #107)
Gravity: she’s a harsh mistress. (X-Factor #107)
Again: I really love the way the art here leans into Strong Guy’s inherent cartoonishness. (X-Factor #107)
Ouch. (X-Factor #107)
That cover! (Uncanny X-Men #318)
The choker really does seem to have an extra layer of symbolism, especially considering the color vs. the rest of her outfit. (Uncanny X-Men #318)
You tried, buddy. (Uncanny X-Men #318)
Serious X-Terminators vibes, right? (Uncanny X-Men #318)
“But, y’know, good luck with that.” (Uncanny X-Men #318)
She’s not wrong, Warren. (Uncanny X-Men #318)
…it works, though. (Uncanny X-Men #318)
NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy!

LINKS & FURTHER CRYPTIDS:

275 – End of the Summer

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Professor is too cool for the Phalanx; fatphobia is significantly more dangerous than Fred Dukes; Strong Guy catches a plane; Emma Frost will not let you coast; Jubilee says goodbye to the X-Men; and it’s probably for the best that we have avoided corporate advertisers.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mr. M
  • Thor: Metal Gods
  • Ship (more) (again)
  • The Phalanx vs. the Borg
  • Several cover homages
  • X-Force #39
  • X-Factor #107
  • Uncanny X-Men #318
  • Prosh
  • The myriad delights of embodiment
  • A complex theory about Leprechauns
  • Benefits of single-issue stories
  • Strong Guy vs. the Blob
  • Strong Guy vs. Gravity
  • Strong Guy vs. an airplane
  • Strong Guy vs. biology
  • Several explosions
  • The kids of Generation X
  • Deluxe-format comics
  • The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning
  • Goodbyes
  • Dazzler’s relative immortality
  • Jay’s X-Men Happy Meal Toy wish list
  • How to make a page-accurate Warlock toy

NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 234 – Magnetic Feels

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WHOA DANG! This is David Wynne’s 200th illustration for our show! Wanna buy one of David’s original illustrations, or commission a new piece? Drop him a line!
Clearly Marvel Unlimited had more success peeling the hologram off the cover of X-Factor #92 than most readers!
What the FUCK, Acolytes? (X-Factor #92)
File this one under “panels that scarred Miles for life.” (X-Factor #92)
Well, that took a turn. (X-Factor #92)
Exodus just nopes the hell outta there. (X-Factor #92)
Oh, fuck off, Senator. (X-Factor #92)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE and/or just don’t build giant racist robots. (X-Factor #92)
“You know, most people would just use the phone.” (X-Factor #92)
This is the worst signature move. (X-Factor #92)
You really would think he’d learn eventually. (X-Factor #92)
Well, that’s awkward. (X-Factor #92)
Holograms really feel like Cable’s home form. (X-Force #25)
Yearbook X, now available on like fifteen CD-roms! (X-Force #25)
Cable is a very considerate home invader. (X-Force #25)
They have fun. (X-Force #25)
Have I decided to include ever panel of Cable getting hugged in this issue? Yes. Yes, I have. (X-Force #25)
He’s a good dude when he remembers to use his words! (X-Force #25)
I mean, there are only two, but that’s two more Cable hugs than we usually get. (X-Force #25)
Cable X-Plains Cable (somewhat). (X-Force #25)
In Magneto’s defense, if I had a bathrobe that nice, I’d wear it everywhere, too. (X-Force #25)
The villain, revealed! (X-Force #25)
Ouch. (X-Force #25)
NEXT EPISODE: Also ouch.

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING

 

234 – Magnetic Feels (Fatal Attractions Part 1)

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WHOA DANG! This is David Wynne’s 200th illustration for our show! Wanna buy one of David’s original illustrations, or commission a new piece? Drop him a line!

In which the Acolytes are pretty terrible; Exodus considers his options; Val Cooper is not wildly trustworthy; Cable uses his words; and people with significant metal implants should probably stop confronting Magneto.

X-PLAINED:

  • How not to get possessed by Mister Sinister
  • Crossover structures
  • How not to make friends or influence people
  • The Acolytes (again)
  • X-Factor #92
  • A total dick move
  • The new Project Wideawake
  • X-Force #25
  • A first appearance
  • Cable #1-3
  • A reunion
  • Avalon
  • Magneto’s bathrobe
  • The evolution of X-Force
  • Mojoworld in the multiverse
  • X-characters who haven’t officially died at least once

NEXT EPISODE: Fatal Extractions!

Happy podiversary to our beloved illustrator, David Wynne!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 221 – Better Than LEGO

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Bella, as seen on FaceTime between rounds of headbutting the phone.
The late, great, immensely fluffy Buzz Lightyear.
What, you thought this whole thing was just gonna be photos of cats? (Sorry) (X-Force #20)
Whoops. (X-Force #20)
That hair, though! Why, Shatterstar? WHY? (X-Force #20)
Those spacesuits look incredibly cumbersome. (X-Force #20)
You never forget your favorite ship. (X-Force #20)
That is a GREAT use of a spread. (X-Force #20)
X-Force really only has the one setting. (X-Force #21)
Aw. AW. (X-Force #21)
AWWWWWWWWW (X-Force #21)
“THE TEETH COMMAND IT!” (X-Force #21)
And that’s why you always leave a note. (X-Force #21)
“The guns were inside you all along!” (X-Force #22)
Well, then. (X-Force #22)
But he looks so happy about it! (X-Force #22)
I was gonna make a callback to that one tangent about how Cable probably carries a bunch of tampons because they are useful and he seems like the kind of dude who has a good attitude about menstruation, but it seemed too forced. (X-Force #22)
This is both excessive and silly, Gideon. (X-Force #22)
“Am I forever damned to eat crackers sideways?!” (X-Force #23)
Look at him! He’s just propped up in the corner! (X-Force #23)
OH, SNAP! (X-Force #23)
I’m still kind of peeved that this isn’t spelled out in Sam’s accent. It just feels wrong like this. (X-Force #23)
NEXT EPISODE: Psylocke vs. Revanche!

LINKS & FURTHER MONSTROSITIES:

221 – Better Than LEGO

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Miles stops worrying and learns to love X-Force; you should absolutely not google the phrase “face jam”; the kids take a field trip to Graymalkin; Jay reverse-engineers Shatterstar’s hair; Donald Pierce gets a new job; Sam Guthrie is the most trustworthy man in the Marvel Universe; Cable is your guns grandma; Professor earns its name; X-Force really only has one setting; and not every Sluggo is lit.

X-PLAINED:

  • A bunch of stuff Quicksilver did
  • Several cats
  • X-Force #20-23
  • The Externals (more) (again)
  • A deeply unlikely hairstyle
  • Graymalkin / Ship / Professor
  • A somewhat one-sided reunion
  • Yahoos
  • Inaccurate arithmetic
  • Why Feral sounds like that
  • Neither Tom, Dick, nor Harry
  • War Machine (James Rhodes)
  • Salvage
  • Sam Guthrie’s long trail of dead father figures
  • Shatterstar
  • How to fight an External
  • The seventh plague
  • What Domino’s been up to
  • Hammer’s mom
  • Tigerstryke (more) (again)
  • Sluggo (but not that Sluggo)
  • Learning to appreciate the ’90s

NEXT EPISODE: Psylocke Vs. Revanche!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)