X-Men – Page 7 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 317 – Acquaintances of Humanity

December 20, 2020 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Oh, c’mon, you did NOT need a double gatefold for that. (X-Men #45)

OW.

(Not a metaphor.) (X-Men #45)

Included to showcase some really damn good use of balloon and caption placement. (X-Men #45)

Aw, Rogue. (X-Men #45)

Damn, that’s good composition. (X-Men #45)

Just here to rub salt in the wound by out-glamming you. (X-Men #45)

It’s true: there’s something extra sad about brooding in shorts. (Uncanny X-Men #326)

IT SURE IS 1995 IN HERE. (Uncanny X-Men #326)

Seriously, Boomer, don’t be friends with Sabretooth. (Uncanny X-Men #326)

To those of you who get reaction images from these: You’re welcome. (Uncanny X-Men #326)

Gambit clearly subscribes to the Rory Campbell school of rehabilitation. (Uncanny X-Men #326)

Well, WE certainly recognize it! (Uncanny X-Men #326)

Now, that’s a wraparound cover! (X-Men Annual 1995)

Somebody’s been reading Age of Apocalypse. (X-Men Annual 1995)

“They’re never sure how many of them they are, and the uncertainty is difficult to live with.” (X-Men Annual 1995)

These three look like time travelers dressed in what each is certain everyone was wearing in 1995. (X-Men Annual 1995)

At least they’re stylish? I guess? (X-Men Annual 1995)

“I see hair more glam than any in this universe.” (X-Men Annual 1995)

“Several, at this point.” (X-Men Annual 1995)

Well, kinda. (X-Men Annual 1995)

Also, they all, um, teleported away. To a farm. Where they can run and play with the other villains. (X-Men Annual 1995)

NEXT: Leprechauns, obviously.

317 – Acquaintances of Humanity

December 14, 2020 Jay 12 comments

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In which Nicholas Cage is more of a concept than a human being; Rogue’s angst-fueled road trip continues; Gambit and Sinister have complementary aesthetics; there are a lot of Guthries; the Trasks are never up to any good; and whether or not it is canon, Ghost Rider has definitely teamed up with Johnny Cash.

X-PLAINED:

Ghost Rider (film)
Nicholas Cage
Rogue and Gambit
X-Men #45
Uncanny X-Men #326
Uncanny X-Men Annual 1995
A gratuitous gatefold
Alliteration vs. consonance
Osmium
Fancy captions
Aesthetics
Shorts
Gambit vs. Sabretooth
Questionable medical policy
AIDS and the Legacy Virus, revisited
Humanity’s Last Stand
Guthries
Preacher
The evolution of killer robots
Superhero-musician team-ups
Otherworld vs. the M’Kraan crystal

NEXT EPISODE: THE LEPRECHAUNS RETURN

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 311 – Love Makes a Super Team

October 25, 2020 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

This friendship really never gets old. (X-Men Annual 1995)

Freakin’ Genesis, man. (X-Men Annual 1995)

The Nasty Boys, they are not. (X-Men Annual 1995)

Nathaniel Essex: The Hollywood Dracula Years. (X-Men Annual 1995)

The ladies love the cape. (X-Men Annual 1995)

In all fairness, I’m not sure I’d want to be naked in Teen Hank and Bobby’s makeouts cabin without cleaning first, either. (X-Men Annual 1995)

Meanwhile in the UK, a dramatic man and his dramatic ponytail! (X-Men Annual 1995)

I still think the photos were a bit much. (X-Men Annual 1995)

Anniversary or no, this image does not justify a double gatefold. (Uncanny X-Men #325)

Jean Grey: thirsty on main. (Uncanny X-Men #325)

Me, too, Monet. Me, too/ (Uncanny X-Men #325)

Damn, Piotr. (Uncanny X-Men #325)

“Non, mon ami, I do not have Prince Albert in a can.” (Uncanny X-Men #325)

Marrow may be bloodthirsty, but she’s also inclusive! (Uncanny X-Men #325)

What. (Uncanny X-Men #325)

Ew. (Uncanny X-Men #325)

This is why we can’t have nice things and/or organs. (Uncanny X-Men #325)

NEXT EPISODE: The Nobody People, with author Bob Proehl!

311 – Love Makes a Super-Team

October 18, 2020 Jay 16 comments

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In which we decide to stop recognizing the nominal difference between X-Men and Uncanny X-Men; time travel may or may not wait for you; Mister Sinister has probably appeared in at least one Ed Wood film; we are a pro-Tingle podcast; X-Men is about family; the Braddock twins catch up; Sailor Moon > Shinobi Shaw; Generation X is inducted into the baseball tradition; and Storm does what she does with Morlocks in sewers.

X-PLAINED:

Franklin Richards’ impressive lineage
311
Yet another structure for annuals
X-Men Annual 1995
Uncanny X-Men #325
Serious academic discussions
Faye Livingstone
Mister Sinister’s Hollywood adventures
Tyler Dayspring / Tolliver / Genesis (again)
Teenage optimism
An absolutely nonsensical villainous plot
A Hank McCoy that might have been
Friendship
Fraternal correspondence
Romance
Morlocks
The first time Storm stabbed a Morlock leader in the heart
Gene Nation
A really excessive cover
An intergenerational baseball game
Another fairly nonsensical villainous plot
The second time Storm stabbed a Morlock leader in the heart
X-horror
Other media X-fans may enjoy reading, playing, or watching

NEXT EPISODE: Bob Proehl X-Plains the Resonant Duology!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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308 – No Story Is the Whole Story

September 20, 2020 Jay 29 comments

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In which writing X-books requires a somewhat different approach to continuity than writing about them; time is weird; Jay overthinks fictional publications; Scott Summers is (at least sometimes) Autistic; Sinister is not subtle; and no story is the whole story.

X-PLAINED:

Marvels
Marvels Snapshots
X-Men: Marvels Snapshots #1
Why Cyclops is worth caring about
Collaboration
Fictional publications
Intent vs. ownership of characters
Research
The difference between writing X-books and writing about X-books
The irreconcilable continuity tangle of Scott Summers’s childhood
Limitations of plaid pants
What ended up on the cutting room floor
Parallels
Other pitches
Cyclops’s best outfit

NEXT EPISODE: Dream Nails

You can get X-Men: Marvels Snapshots #1 from your local comics shop–or online over here.
And listen to Thor: Metal Gods over at Serial Box!

No visual companion this week; see above for links!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 301 – Can’t Beat the Real Thing

July 19, 2020 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

This is in fact an ENTIRELY REASONABLE position under the circumstances. (X-Men Prime #1)

Dennis is his own disparaging narrator. (X-Men Prime #1)

I don’t know why John Constantine is here to question Trish Tilby’s ethics, but SOMEONE needs to. (X-Men Prime #1)

Why is Val here? WHO KNOWS? (X-Men Prime #1)

Pretty sure this is supposed to be Onslaught, but it’s not going to be confirmed, so… (X-Men Prime #1)

“I repurposed all the brain parts that would normally go to fashion sense. On one hand, I can keep track of every team in play. On the other hand, this is how I dress myself.” (X-Men Prime #1)

Mondays, amirite? (X-Men Prime #1)

That’s… exactly what a chaperone is, though. (X-Men Prime #1)

GUYS SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE JUST IN A HURRY (X-Men Prime #1)

Just wait ’til Age of X-Man. (X-Men Prime #1)

Emplate: still exceptionally creepy. (X-Men Prime #1)

nopenopenopenopenope (X-Men Prime #1)

I’ve seen at least three horror movies that basically start this way. (X-Men Prime #1)

NEXT EPISODE: The fall of Avalon, and some related situation comedy.

LINKS & FURTHER HOMECOMINGS:

301 – Can’t Beat the Real Thing

July 19, 2020 Jay 19 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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In which we enter our fourth century of podcasting with brand new theme music; we have both Wolverine questions and wolverine questions; it is extremely rough to be Bishop; the creator of Garfield may or may not live in a sewer on Earth-616; Rogue needs better coping mechanisms; bigotry is depressingly timeless; and everything is Onslaught now.

X-PLAINED:

Joseph’s Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
Our new theme music
X-Men Prime #1
A genuinely cool cover gimmick
What happened after the end of the world
Boundaries
War crimes vs. fashion crimes
Destruction of real landmarks in fiction
A mysterious assailant
Actual embodied chaos god Jim Davis and his Earth-616 namesake
Several memorable Garfield stories
Marrow (Sarah Rushman)
The secret origin of the Morlocks
A friendship we miss
Unhealthy coping mechanisms
The perennially dubious journalistic ethics of Trish Tilby
Dennis
The death of Dennis
Flaws of the mutant metaphor (more) (again)
Several refugees from Earth-295
Mr. Summers and Mr. Summers
The secret origin of the Genoshan mutates
The Acolytes
The continuing relevance of the mutant metaphor (more) (again)
Cross-universe characterization

NEXT EPISODE: The fall of Avalon!

NOTE: The Garfield strips Jay mentions appeared in newspapers, on purpose, in October 1989.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 296 – Hard Choices

May 31, 2020 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

“Are you coming too, mysterious hooded stranger? My sister, Carmen Sandiego, would love to have you along!” (Amazing X-Men #1)

Danger Room cold open, Earth-295-style! (Amazing X-Men #1)

“Just a few more hours and a few dozen more cigarettes until Tom Waits karaoke night!” (Amazing X-Men #1)

“For further details, my X-Men, you must buy every other X-comic on the stands. Excelsior!” (Amazing X-Men #1)

As the famous thinker Parappa the Rapper once so wisely said: you gotta believe. (Amazing X-Men #1)

Earth-295 Sentinels may be lacking in toboggan hats and robot one-piece swimsuits, but they’re still pretty impressive. (Amazing X-Men #1)

Half unspooled VHS tape, half Slinky, all nuisance. (Amazing X-Men #2)

“Go easy on ’em, X-Men – they remembered to use our logo font, and that was very considerate of them.” (Amazing X-Men #2)

Banshee’s facial expression speaks for us all. (Amazing X-Men #2)

Okay, that’s legit terrifying. (Amazing X-Men #2)

Quicksilver? More like FRIPsilver! (Amazing X-Men #2)

If the title wasn’t already taken, Magneto’s autobiography would be called The Brood Saga. (Amazing X-Men #3)

It takes a true villain to make “being stretchy” an intimidating superpower. (Amazing X-Men #3)

Mary Poppins: The Snyder Cut. (Amazing X-Men #3)

Shaking Angel down for information is an X-Men rite of passage. (Amazing X-Men #3)

Open wide and say “flashback”! (Amazing X-Men #3)

you guys I think I’m in the wrong church (Amazing X-Men #4)

This may be bad, but at least he doesn’t have to die of a mutant-targeting virus twice in the Age of Apocalypse the way he does in Earth-616… (Amazing X-Men #4)

Generation Next – ripping our hearts out even when it’s someone else’s comic! (Amazing X-Men #4)

I know you’re mad at Gambit, Rogue, but did you really have to punch his legs off? (Amazing X-Men #4)

Aww, damn – he was just one week away from retirement! (Amazing X-Men #4)

*raises lighter* (Amazing X-Men #4)

NEXT EPISODE: This guy.

296 – Hard Choices

May 31, 2020 Jay 8 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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In which Magneto doesn’t really do work/live divide; Amazing X-Men is a bit of a misnomer; Exodus is the lawful evil to Fabian Cortez’s chaotic evil; smoking is bad for you; moisture molecular inversion is fairly definitely not a real thing; Earth-295 Quicksilver and Earth-616 Cyclops would probably get along; OSHA would probably like a word with the Madrii; Gambit had ONE JOB; and there are no superheroes in the Age of Apocalypse.

X-PLAINED:

An unlikely team-up
Relative amazingness
Amazing X-Men #1-5
Color separations
Comics credits
The Brotherhood of Mutants and/or Chaos
The Great Human Airlift
Exodus (more) (again)
Best Quicksilver (Earth-295)
Abyss
A dubiously aerodynamic cape
One last job
Several points of semantic distinction
Lone Nanny & Cub
The most punchable man on Earth-295
A difficult choice
What it means to be X-Men
Dick Valentine
Jamie Madrox (Earth-295)
A world without superheroes
Universe numbering

NEXT EPISODE: X-Man!

CORRECTION: The line about fence-straddling that Jay attributed to Wonder Woman was in fact spoken by Hawkgirl.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop! This June, we’ll be donating all of the profits to Trans Lifeline!