Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Author: Jay

As Mentioned in Episode 407 – Freshening Up

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(He is not in fact here to help.) (X-Factor #138)
Heh. Omega Red, man. (X-Factor #138)
The most threatening destroyed football you’ll see today. (X-Factor #138)
THAT IS AN EXCELLENT QUESTION. (X-Factor #138)
(Spoiler: That’s Mystique.) (X-Factor #138)
A delightful cover. (X-Factor #139)
This whole sequence is so good. (X-Factor #139)
Ever is weird, and I say that with all respect and admiration! (X-Factor #139)
Dark Beast DEFINITELY has multiple candy-colored iMacs. (X-Factor #139)
Mystique: once again mother of the year. (X-Factor #139)
The preceding page literally had a Slaughterhouse Five reference, and I’m kind of annoyed about it. (X-Factor #140)
Fixx, Greystone, and Archer. (X-Factor #140)
A guy who is probably not Cable. (He’s not; he’s an alternate-future Forge.) (X-Factor #140)
Batman. (X-Factor #140)
There are actually *multiple* people huffing frogs, if you look closely. (X-Factor #141)
SERIOUSLY WHY WOULD YOU EVER TRUST THIS MAN (X-Factor #141)
THE PLOT THICKENS (X-Factor #141)
NEXT EPISODE: Bishop: X.S.E.!

LINKS & FURTHER TIME SINKS

407 – Freshening Up

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In which X-Factor bounces from one rock-bottom to another; Sabretooth gets his (murderous) groove back; Dark Beast embraces the iMac aesthetic; the tip was righteous; Mystique multitasks like a pro; and Shard Bishop has come unstuck in time.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Nation
  • What X-Factor’s been up to
  • X-Factor #138-141
  • Omega Red (again)
  • The Brotherhood’s new hideout
  • Mallory Brickman
  • Miles and/or Ralph Brickman
  • Gloria Brickman
  • “Freshening up”
  • Mystique, but a sitcom
  • Agent Vargas
  • Ever
  • The secret purpose of Havok’s Brotherhood
  • Exhumes vs. emplates
  • Fixx
  • Greystone
  • Archer
  • The X.U.E.
  • Bantam
  • Leisure activities
  • What would happen if the T-O virus took over Cable’s body
  • What we want from X-Men #700

NEXT EPISODE: Bishop: X.S.E.

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As Mentioned in Episode 406 – The Most Dangerous Mini-Game

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So, that’s where he got it! (Wolverine #-1)
I love this design for Sabretooth. (Wolverine #-1)
And also his car. (Wolverine #-1)
Literally nothing is okay at the Blanding/Masters house. (X-Factor #-1)
Mister Sinister lurks in the bushes. (X-Factor #-1)
They’re AT LEAST in their early 20s. (X-Factor #-1)
DAMN, Haley! (X-Factor #-1)
The most dangerous mini-game. (X-Factor #-1)
Alex Summers in a nutshell. (X-Factor #-1)
Wellp, you did that. (X-Force #-1)
I swear I thought this thing was gonna be a red herring. (X-Force #-1)
Everything cute about this issue is also really sad. (X-Force #-1)
How Thunderbird got his code name. (X-Force #-1)
Don’t worry, Tabby; soon you’ll be stealing with the best of ’em! (X-Force #-1)
The Circus of Cameos. (X-Force #-1)
In which John Produstar straight-up wrassles a tiger. (X-Force #-1)
“We also do a lot of crimes, but they’re pretty low-key as comic-book circus crimes go.” (X-Force #-1)
Ugh, this guy. (X-Force #-1)
Naked in Space: The Charles Francis Xavier Story. (X-Men #-1)
Magneto, a sensible fellow, wears clothes in the vacuum of space. (X-Men #-1)
IT NEVER STOPS BEING FUNNY (X-Men #-1)
DRAMATIC! JUXTAPOSITION! (X-Men #-1)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor hits rock-bottom, again.

LINKS & FURTHER READING

406 – The Most Dangerous Mini-Game

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In which we disagree about the value of Stan Lee intros; everybody wants Wolverine; Mister Sinister lurks; Haley Blanding deserves better; Thunderbird fights a tiger; and Xavier and Magneto do their usual thing.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Circus of Crime
  • Stan Lee intros
  • Wolverine #-1
  • X-Factor #-1
  • X-Force #-1
  • X-Men #-1
  • Proust vs. Sartre
  • How Logan joined Alpha Flight
  • The secret origin of the word “canucklehead.”
  • USDA, Annex B
  • Myron MacLain
  • Logan’s cigars
  • Yet more continuity errors
  • Sabretooth’s ridiculous car
  • The balance of scary and silly
  • Wolverine’s cowboy hat
  • Summers family bullshit
  • The Blandings and/or Masterses
  • Vince
  • The Proudstar family
  • One or more cats named Coyote
  • The origin of Thunderbird’s totem
  • Edwin Martynec (again)
  • Chondu the Magician
  • Ringmaster
  • Yet more Xavier and Magneto flashback drama
  • The bottom of the resurrection queue
  • Good car-trip episodes

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor continues to make poor decisions

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 405 – Morally Purple

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So, that’s a thing. (Cable #-1)
Honestly, I kinda wish Cable had sported this look for longer. (Cable #-1)
THE BOW TIE (Cable #-1)
Cable’s future may be kind of dystopian, but it’s also rad as hell. (Cable #-1)
Damn, bro. (Cable #-1)
On one hand, yes, he’s very dashing. On the other hand, they are definitely foster siblings. (Excalibur #-1)
Hey, we know that guy! (Excalibur #-1)
This is Sabu. Don’t get attached. (Excalibur #-1)
Harry Leland knows how to dress to impress. (Generation X #-1)
I know it’s a byproduct of the foreshortening plus slightly murky colors, but from at least one angle, it looks like Hank has a human-skin rug. (Generation X #-1)
And then they never talked to or mentioned each other again. (Generation X #-1)
Rachel’s cloak is SO GOOD. (Uncanny X-Men #-1)
this genocidal disco motherfucker (Uncanny X-Men #-1)
Tanya, NO. (Uncanny X-Men #-1)
NEXT EPISODE: More flashbacks!

LINKS & FURTHER BACKSTORY

405 – Morally Purple

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In which Jay returns; babies are bad at pretty much everything; continuity flies straight out the window; Cable should speak English with a Scottish accent; Harry Leland knows how to dress; Tanya Trask makes the same time travel mistake everyone makes; and we love Al Kennedy forever.

X-PLAINED:

  • Sentry (but not that one)
  • Babies
  • Flashback
  • Cable #-1
  • Excalibur #-1
  • Generation X #-1
  • Uncanny X-Men #-1
  • The preturn of Angus McWhirter, angry hovercraft-rental guy
  • Hippie Cable
  • Veins of science
  • Yet another time travel loop
  • What may or may not be how Nightcrawler quit the circus
  • Sabu
  • “Science”
  • A large volume of dubious continuity
  • Larry Trask (more) (again)
  • Jay’s cosplay aspirations
  • Sanctity (Tanya Trask)
  • The Twelve (somewhat)
  • A possible splinter timeline
  • The X-Men of 1602
  • Rube Goldberg

NEXT EPISODE: Flashback continues!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 394 – We All Have to Go Sometime

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
It’s the OZT broadcast that keeps on giving! (X-Men #66)
Cecilia Reyes, reluctant hero. (X-Men #66)
I really thought this was a callback to a bit of Iceman’s Silver Age origin story, but it is not. (X-Men #66)
Here for the meme. (X-Men #66)
Sabra, puncher of cars, owner of the world’s most durable bra. (X-Men #67)
Speaking of callbacks. (X-Men #68)
I know that Marrow is not actually supposed to be kicking herself in the face here, but I can’t see it any other way. (X-Men #68)
Can you imagine a more awkward person to get stuck in a bathroom conversation with than Henry Peter Gyrich? (X-Men #68)
Again, here for your Internet use. (X-Men #68)
Sabra’s costume is fairly cool. (X-Men #68)
HOW DOES SHE SAY THAT MUCH WHILE JUMPING OUT OF THE WATER DOLPHIN-STYLE? (X-Men #69)
And that’s that, sort of. (X-Men #69)
NEXT EPISODE: Bastion and his fleshy appendages!

LINKS & FURTHER LIFE LESSONS:

394 – We All Have to Go Sometime

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which there’s always room for another X-cast; Cecilia Reyes wasn’t even supposed to be here today; Sabra has indestructible underwear; prime sentinels are probably even worse pets than quail; Marrow probably swears more than superhero comics allow for; and Operation Zero Tolerance comes to an end.

X-PLAINED:

  • The original proposed ending of Operation Zero Tolerance
  • The actual ending of Operation Zero Tolerance
  • X-Men #66-69
  • Operation Zero Tolerance (so far)
  • Prime Sentinels (again)
  • Bastion (more) (again)
  • Spidey and His Amazing Friends
  • Cecilia Reyes
  • The most reluctant X-Men
  • Nanomachines
  • Trust
  • Miles’s least favorite X-Men story
  • Sabra
  • Superheroes who wear white
  • Wizard dogs
  • Indestructible undergarments
  • Angie Quail
  • Candy Southern (again)
  • Actual quail
  • Bones
  • Metal Gear Solid
  • Officers Aguinal and Cleaveland
  • The sound of a soul losing its shape
  • One of many problems with the carceral system
  • What men do in bathrooms
  • A showdown
  • Operation Zero Tolerance in retrospect
  • Silly superhero names
  • Non-mutant characters who pair well with X-Men

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Bastion’s secret origin!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 393 – Camping With Uncle Mustang

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Aw, man. (Wolverine #115)
Go, Jubilee! (Wolverine #115)
It never really gets old. (Wolverine #115)
Five X-Men in an elevator. (Wolverine #115)
Meet Mustang! (Wolverine #116)
“Hey. Hey. Wake up. Hey.” (Wolverine #116)
Aw, Mustang, no. (Wolverine #116)
Definitely the creepiest version of the Prime Sentinels. (Wolverine #117)
Dr. Whatever-his-name-is and his fancy mad-science lab. (Wolverine #117)
Been a (traumatic) while. (Wolverine #117)
The inevitable finally occurs. (Wolverine #117)
NEXT EPISODE: The Mostly New and Different X-Men!

393 – Camping With Uncle Mustang

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Operation Zero Tolerance continues; the X-Men take over Wolverine; wolverine is the designated John McClane of the X-Men; torsos are confusing places; and we sincerely hope that Jean Grey got to do some off-panel dating.

X-PLAINED:

  • Bastion’s priorities
  • Operation Zero Tolerance (so far)
  • Wolverine #115-118
  • How to villainously declaim
  • Mustang
  • Roustabouts
  • Waking up with the X-Men
  • Where (some) Prime Sentinels come from
  • Fatality, kind of
  • Felipe, Arvell, and Helmut
  • Inevitability
  • A reunion
  • Government intervention
  • Anatomy
  • Jaz disks
  • Friendship
  • Jean Grey’s romantic history
  • The League of Nations vs. The League of Nathans

NEXT EPISODE: Mostly New and Different X-Men!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!