Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 411 – Tearaway Pants

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When you meet a straight couple, you should ask them which is the Nic Cage and which is the John Travolta. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Fuckssake, Warren. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Severe costume injuries. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Logan’s skiing / beat poetry outfit. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
After thirty years, Warren finally gets a gun, I guess. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
SERIOUSLY, HOW DO THEY RECOGNIZE IT?! (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Much like Gambit, I hallucinate a team of X-Men insulting me at all times. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
Hydro-Man. He sure is. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
Jean Grey advocates for change. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
Aw. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
See, they body-swapped because of carpet static and… y’know what? Just watch Gravity Falls. You won’t regret it.
NEXT EPISODE: Back to the core!

411 – Tearaway Pants

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In which we actually kind of like a Sabretooth story; we’re not asking for viscera, here; all pants on Earth-616 are tearaway pants; we’d like to see more Wolverine stories about bodily autonomy; Gambit’s hallucinations have hallucinations; and there are probably too many X-books.

X-PLAINED:

  • Punch-clock villains
  • Hydro-Man’s secret weakness
  • 411
  • ‘90s fashion
  • X-Men Unlimited #17-18
  • X-Men Unlimited vs. annuals
  • A difficult casting decision
  • Forge’s neutralizer gun
  • Costume injuries
  • Color symbolism? Kinda? I guess?
  • Mrs. Hoo
  • Saberine & Wolvertooth
  • Warren Kenneth Worthington III vs. shirts
  • How to dress for Earth-616
  • Hot buttered whatever
  • Boob foliage
  • Clones
  • Very tenacious blood stains
  • The return of the Angry Claremontean Narrator
  • Lots of hallucinations
  • Oscar the Fixer
  • Hydro-Man
  • Redemption, symbolic and otherwise
  • The evolution of Magneto’s name
  • Our ideal X-line

NEXT EPISODE: Back to the core!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 410 – Jubilee, Don’t Eat That

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A boojum, which is later referred to repeatedly as a snark but is clearly not one for reasons expounded in this episode. (Generation X #37)
Gaia the Super Chill. (Generation X #37)
SURE WHY NOT (Generation X #37)
A somewhat unlikely timetable. (Generation X #37)
SURE WHY NOT (Generation X #37)
SURE WHY NOT (Generation X #37)
I freakin’ love this cover. (Generation X #38)
Interdimensional portals are rad as heck. (Generation X #38)
(Generation X #38)
jubilee no don’t eat that why would you even (Generation X #39)
SURE WHY NOT (Generation X #39)
In a genre full of deeply oblivious goons, these two may in fact be the most oblivious. (Generation X #39)
NEXT EPISODE: The return of the Angry Clarmontean Narrator!

410 – Jubilee, Don’t Eat That

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In which the M-Plate Saga continues; Jay gets into the spirit of the day; we briefly give up on our primary mission; the story is coordinated if not coherent; Miles is not allowed to continuity-shame about Tolkein; Gaia is extra chill; Dirt Nap discovers altruism; and Jubilee should absolutely not have eaten that.

X-PLAINED:

  • Vampires vs. Marrow (again)
  • Whether Marrow is a mutant
  • Drugs
  • X-Plaining the inexplicable
  • Generation X #37-39
  • M-Plate (more) (again)
  • A Boojum
  • How to correctly identify a snark
  • The Universal Amalgamator (more) (again)
  • A door
  • Moria, kind of, I guess?
  • Mysterious topiary
  • An equally mysterious train
  • The Citadel of the Universal Amalgamator
  • Gaia
  • How to make a deal with a Token
  • Orange milk
  • A network of interdimensional water closets
  • The Bill the Pony Effect
  • An attempted murder
  • Monet vs. Northstar
  • Characters we’d like to see come out of the subtext

NEXT EPISODE: The Angry Claremontean Narrator Returns

CORRECTION: Miles said that the previous episode was #410. This episode is in fact #410; the previous episode is #409.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 409 – Lurid Malarkey

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In which Sean entirely fails to X-Plain Monet. (Generation X #34)
Tracy Authier, middle-school bandit. (Generation X #34)
Now I really wanna read Paige’s descriptions of these guys. (Generation X #34)
Oh, Paige. (Generation X #34)
The hell what?! (Generation X #34)
M-Plate! (Also, I’m pretty sure Penance’s word balloon is supposed to go to Synch.) (Generation X #34)
Fun with Chimera. (Generation X #35)
Everett, no. (Generation X #35)
In which things get a trifle Windsor McCay. (Generation X #35)
Jubilee’s hallucinogenic Wonderland. (Generation X #35)
More fun in Wonderland. (Generation X #35)
Meet Elwood. (Generation X #36)
Do you know who these people are? PLEASE TELL US! (Generation X #36)
This is not a great way to introduce yourself to the neighbors. (Generation X #36)
Spoiler: Chief Authier is a telepath. (Generation X #36)
NEXT EPISODE: that happens

409 – Lurid Malarkey

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In which nobody is sure what Emplate actually eats; airport food is not a good peace offering; Larry Hama writes a good Jubilee; the St. Croix siblings merge; and we honestly have no idea what a Token is.

X-PLAINED:

  • Emplate vs. Marrow
  • What’s been up with Generation X
  • Generation X #34-36
  • Claudette and Nicole St. Croix
  • Emplate (more) (again)
  • Controlled chaos
  • Tracy Authier
  • Bullying
  • Dorian and Weasel (again)
  • Treasures
  • EAT
  • Some unusually friendly blackmail
  • Wizard Magazine
  • Husk’s diary and hypothetical fanfiction
  • Chimera
  • A Lepton imploder
  • Dirt-Nap
  • M-Plate
  • A dream, we think, probably
  • Jubilee in Wonderland
  • A Token
  • Chief Authier
  • Elwood
  • Landau, Luckman, & Lake (again)
  • The Citadel at the Edge of Reality
  • The Universal Amalgamator
  • Magik on screen
  • Our favorite villains and alignment shifts from the Krakoa era

NEXT EPISODE: The M-Plate Saga concludes

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 408 – Yabba Yabba Yabba

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(Bishop: X.S.E. #1)
Meet the Fanatix! (Bishop: X.S.E. #1)
In retrospect, I really should have made more Chris Durang-related jokes in this episode. (If you know, you know.) (Bishop: X.S.E. #1)
THAT’S NO BISHOP! (Bishop: X.S.E. #2)
Uncool, Bishop. Uncool. (Bishop: X.S.E. #2)
A “disguise.” (Bishop: X.S.E. #3)
Running across the panel tops. (Bishop: X.S.E. #3)
Dang uncanny children. (Bishop: X.S.E. #3)
NEXT EPISODE: Generation X gets really, really, really weird.

408 – Yabba Yabba Yabba

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In which Bishop gets another miniseries; splinter timelines make fun narrative sandboxes; the X.S.E. goes detecting; the Statue of Liberty never fares well in dystopian futures; “Booger” is not a name you give yourself; and we can’t believe it’s taken us this long to make a hanky code joke about Bishop.

X-PLAINED:

  • Graymalkin
  • Bishop: X.S.E. #1-3
  • Bishop (more) (again)
  • Earth-1191
  • The X.S.E.
  • Hecate
  • Malcolm
  • Randall
  • The popularity of Earth-1191 miniseries
  • The solid-light hologram of Theseus
  • The Fanatix
  • Pulsar
  • Dogface
  • Hardball
  • Razorback
  • Kali (but not that one)
  • Shadowbox
  • “Quotations”
  • Seldon Trask
  • A mystery
  • The Rook
  • Annabella Knox
  • Anthony Shaw
  • The Bay Borough
  • The best episode of Justice League Unlimited
  • Organic LMDs
  • A disguise
  • An uncanny child
  • Dazzler’s career
  • X-Adjectives

NEXT EPISODE: The M-Plate Saga!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

HAWK TALK – Independent Comics

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This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week: independent comics!

X-PLAINED

  • What makes a comic independent
  • Superbutch
  • Little Garden
  • 44 Presidents and a Letter to a Cat
  • Finder
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (again)
  • Elfquest
  • Nexus
  • Prince of Persia
  • Love & Rockets
  • Jim Ottaviani’s science comics
  • Wet Moon

As Mentioned in Episode 407 – Freshening Up

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(He is not in fact here to help.) (X-Factor #138)
Heh. Omega Red, man. (X-Factor #138)
The most threatening destroyed football you’ll see today. (X-Factor #138)
THAT IS AN EXCELLENT QUESTION. (X-Factor #138)
(Spoiler: That’s Mystique.) (X-Factor #138)
A delightful cover. (X-Factor #139)
This whole sequence is so good. (X-Factor #139)
Ever is weird, and I say that with all respect and admiration! (X-Factor #139)
Dark Beast DEFINITELY has multiple candy-colored iMacs. (X-Factor #139)
Mystique: once again mother of the year. (X-Factor #139)
The preceding page literally had a Slaughterhouse Five reference, and I’m kind of annoyed about it. (X-Factor #140)
Fixx, Greystone, and Archer. (X-Factor #140)
A guy who is probably not Cable. (He’s not; he’s an alternate-future Forge.) (X-Factor #140)
Batman. (X-Factor #140)
There are actually *multiple* people huffing frogs, if you look closely. (X-Factor #141)
SERIOUSLY WHY WOULD YOU EVER TRUST THIS MAN (X-Factor #141)
THE PLOT THICKENS (X-Factor #141)
NEXT EPISODE: Bishop: X.S.E.!

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