Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: ABD

As Mentioned in Episode 450 – Live at the Clinton Street Theater

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A smooth criminal. (Uncanny X-Men #428)
X-Men: First Class: The Draco (Uncanny X-Men #428)
Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #428)
I love that Wolverine tries to stop nude Nightcrawler from stealing the plane by throwing a beer can at it. (Uncanny X-Men #429)
You’d think he could at least let the cafeteria staff know he was planning on sleeping in there. (Uncanny X-Men #429)
Annie, no. (Uncanny X-Men #429)
This Hell sucks. (Uncanny X-Men #431)
And then Mystique flew violently out of a child’s abdomen, in one of the less bizarre scenes in this story arc. (Uncanny X-Men #431)
Dinner in Hell. (Uncanny X-Men #432)
*grumble grumble Daimon Hellstrom grumble* (Uncanny X-Men #432)
So, that happened. (Uncanny X-Men #433)
Either, really. (Uncanny X-Men #434)
Ginniyeh is the only remotely adequate demon in this arc. (Uncanny X-Men #434)
Awkward. (Uncanny X-Men #434)
NEXT EPISODE: Business as usual.

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE

450 – Live at the Clinton Street Theater

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In which we celebrate our tenth anniversary by X-Plaining what may be the most reviled X-arc; you should not try this at home; Mystique is so much better than this story; Azazel is a really boring devil; Nightcrawler should probably be missing a hand; the Xavier School definitely does not have an HR department; and we would prefer that you not pee on Iceman.

X-PLAINED:

  • Nightcrawler’s (most recent) parentage
  • Uncanny X-Men #428-434
  • X-Men Blue: Origins #1
  • The X-Men, like, in general
  • Nightcrawler (Kurt Wagner)
  • Some narrative choices
  • Mystique
  • Baron Christian Wagner
  • Marvel Europe
  • Azazel
  • Church sex
  • Nightstreaker
  • Isla des Demonas
  • Foibles of Warren Kenneth Worthington III
  • Annie and Carter Ghazikhanian
  • Abyss
  • Kiwi Black
  • The Cheyarafim and Neyaphem
  • Bad times with psychic therapy
  • Post-traumatic supervillainy
  • Uncool Hell
  • A miracle of magnetism
  • The only cool thing in Uncool Hell
  • A very elegant retcon
  • X-Muppets
  • Characters who deserve more page space
  • Miles’s favorite X-Person
  • What the Worthington Corporation does
  • A character who could reasonably be Azazel’s kid

NEXT EPISODE: Back to X-business as usual!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 266 – They’re Good Dogs, Miles

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)
Alex Summers, in a nutshell. I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)
SEE WHAT THEY DID, THERE? I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)
Strong Guy’s family is terrific. I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)
That said, this dude is my favorite colorful local. I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)
SOMEBODY REMEMBERED! KIND OF! I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)
And that’s why you always leave a note. I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)
Seriously, how is Polaris alive? I miss road trips. (X-Factor #104)
This cannot (and does not) possibly end well. (X-Factor #104)
He sure did that. (X-Factor #104)
And that’s how you supervillain with STYLE. (X-Factor #105)
This arc is almost enough to make us feel bad for Malice, which is a very weird sentence to type. (X-Factor #105)
NEXT EPISODE: Emma Frost goes for a joyride.

LINKS & FURTHER MEMES:

266 – They’re Good Dogs, Miles

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Havok goes surfing; Malice eats a poodle; Strong Guy’s ex is a big jerk; Sinister’s gotta Sinister; and Miles learns about a meme.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Puppet Master
  • X-Factor #103-105
  • Comparative Summers brooding
  • Perks of being a mutant geologist and/or geophysicist
  • Malice and Polaris’s complicated history
  • A somewhat convoluted plan
  • Several reasons to go to Rhinebeck, NY
  • Friendship
  • The extended Carosella family
  • Candy stripers
  • Mary, who is a big jerk
  • A Sinister entrance
  • The Nasty Boys (more) (again)
  • Karate pants
  • 14-year-old Chris Gethard’s feelings about Jamie Madrox
  • Ionic vampirism
  • Misguided vengeance
  • Pushing back against whitewashing in comics

NEXT EPISODE: Emma Frost takes a joyride

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

At the End of the Fight

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Do you wish Les Miserables were about X-Men? TODAY YOU ARE IN LUCK: Here is a downloadable version of the parody of “At the End of the Day” that closed Episode 226!

lyrics &c.

As Mentioned in Episode 179 – Sincerely, An Evil Individual

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
This really should have been a #1. (X-Factor #71)
If ever a first page set the tone… (X-Factor #71)
I made a list of people who draw Polaris’s hair better than Larry Stroman, and there were no names on it, because no one draws Polaris’s hair better than Larry Stroman. (X-Factor #71)
Cursive! (X-Factor #71)
Team dossiers, and some Twin Peaks name-dropping! (X-Factor #71)
Well, shit. (X-Factor #71)
This gag was pretty much inevitable. (X-Factor #72)
The extremely doomed Professor Vic Chalker. (X-Factor #72)
Poor guy. (X-Factor #72)
THAT CROWD, THO (X-Factor #72)
Aw, Madrox. (X-Factor #72)
So, that happened. (X-Factor #73)
Seriously, there’s just a page and a half, mid-fight, dedicated to gratuitous Rocketeer references. (X-Factor #73)
(Including the plane. Which, yes, is later confirmed to be wood.) (X-Factor #73)
And yet, somehow, it’s STILL better than Alex’s M-Word speech 25 years later. (X-Factor #73)
Remember when Alex Summers had principles? SIGH. (X-Factor #73)
B.D.? I dunno if I see it… (X-Factor #73)
Oh. Yeah, never mind. I see it.
Rahne really looks like she’s here to offer you your heart’s desire in exchange for your heart, or something equally creepy and folklorish. (X-Factor #74)
Meet Slab. He’s a Nasty Boy. (X-Factor #74)
Write your own dick joke. (X-Factor #74)
Man, Evil Madrox is so creepy! (X-Factor #74)
Meet the Nasty Boys! Also Senator Shaffran, but he’s going to die soon, so, whatever. (X-Factor #75)
OKAY BUT HOW DO THE CLOTHES WORK?! (X-Factor #75)
It’s not common knowledge, but actually, all U.S. senators can do this. (X-Factor #75)
It’s funny ’cause his name’s Ricochet. (X-Factor #75)
NEXT EPISODE: Time Cops and Time Bandits!

179 – Sincerely, An Evil Individual

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which X-Factor gets a revamp; Larry Stroman is the best part of 1991; Havok used to have principles; Multiple Man is his own worst enemy; Jay’s Doonesbury knowledge finally becomes relevant; Strong Guy breaks the Washington Monument; and Val Cooper may or may not have married Mister Sinister.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Madrox who got away
  • Alan Disambiguation
  • The X-Factor that might have been
  • X-Factor #71-75
  • Banter™
  • A small selection of a gratuitously large volume of pop-culture references
  • An evil individual
  • One of the many deaths of Multiple Man
  • Larry Stroman extras
  • Professor Vic Chalker
  • A Sinister scheme
  • The iteration of X-Factor most likely to end up naked on television
  • Your real-life Jamie Madrox reference
  • GeeCees
  • A canonical Doonesbury reference
  • One way to get out of writing a term paper
  • The proper plural of Madrox
  • Ricochet
  • The Nasty Boys
  • Death by irony
  • The evolution of Magik’s Soul Sword
  • Why female superheroes rarely date civilian men

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 114 – Meltdown

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Welcome to your new favorite miniseries. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #1)
The first 14 pages are a primer on reactor physics and the Chernobyl disaster. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #1)
Also some vaguely sinister chess-playing. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #1)
No, seriously: that’s just straight-up James Dean. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #1)
If you’re not sold on the book by now, please reconsider your priorities. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #1)
Move over, Neal Adams. This is our definitive representation of Havok’s powers. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #1)
Kent Williams is terrifying and wonderful. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #1)
Why, yes, we are going to include every cover. Why? (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #2)
Look at how much information this panel conveys. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #2)
General Meltdown! (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #2)
Wait for it… (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #2)
…and done. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #2)
Havok latches onto genre conventions like a baby duck impressing on the first thing it sees. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #2)
It was really, really hard not to just include the whole damn miniseries in this visual companion. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #2)
(Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #3)
Well, then. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #3)
I cannot get over the way Muth paints Scarlett’s hair. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #3)
One of my favorite sequences from the entire series. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #3)
Dr. Meltdown and his trusty overlays. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #3)
Best image of Havok, or best image of Havok? Hint: Best image of Havok. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #3)
The palpable violence of the action sequences is really, really spectacular. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #3)
And onward. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #4)
In which Havok transforms from James Dean to a young Peter Capaldi. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #4)
THIS PAGE (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #4)
So, so doomed. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #4)
No narrative reason for including this. I just really, really love the art. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #4)
The problem with falling too deeply into a character is that you also end up with their genre-specific weaknesses. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #4)
Ouch. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #4)
Well, that’s one way to do it. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #4)
The way Havok’s powers change when they go out of control is really, really amazing. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #4)
No, seriously. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #4)
HOW COULD NO ONE HAVE REACHED BACK TO THIS SERIES? IT’S A GOLDMINE. (Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #4)
NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men Anime.

114 – Meltdown (feat. Susan Beaver)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Havok and Wolverine head to Mexico; Havok tries his hand at noir; Wolverine gets serious about hair gel; Meltdown is probably not actually a common Russian surname; Susan X-Plains nuclear reactors; and we are pretty thoroughly besotted with Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown.

X-PLAINED:

  • Age of Apocalypse Corsair
  • Epic Comics
  • Marvel Comics Presents #24-31
  • Leila O’Toole (Plasma)
  • The Cold War
  • Samantha Smith
  • Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #1-4
  • General Meltdown
  • Dr. Neutron
  • The varying deadliness of vices
  • Scarlett McKenzie (Quark)
  • Some exceptionally gorgeous artwork
  • Why we love Havok
  • Chernobyl
  • How nuclear reactors do and don’t work
  • Other characters we’d like to see in Meltdown-type stories
  • Adamantium vs. vibranium

NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men Anime

Special thanks to guest reactor X-Pert Susan Beaver!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!