In which Dracula probably doesn’t drink his blood from a World’s Greatest Dad mug; Miles massively underestimates the cultural ubiquity of Sexy Dracula; Bill Sienkiewicz may or may not have ever seen a bat; Kitty gets possessed; and Dazzler is singularly well suited to a Vegas residency.
Dracula’s ungrateful children
A fortuitously named writer
Rachel Van Helsing
X-Men #159 (again) (briefly)
The secret origin of sexy Draculas
Fastball Special body mechanics
X-Men Annual #6
Yet another Castle Dracula
The Montesi Formula
Sound effects, spoken or otherwise
The relative efficacy of holy symbols against Dracula
Characters we have grown to love as a result of the podcast
NEXT EPISODE: Fix the future!
Check out the visual companion to this episode–along with Jay’s convention sketches–on our blog!
In which Shattershot is definitely better than the Cold War; Beast X-plains the X-teams; Cyclops is a tired babysitter; sustenance is not frivolous; Jim Henson is the hero that Mojoworld needs; Shatterstar is not a great head of state; it’s hard to be Val Cooper; and Cable has definitely figured out how to take you (yes, YOU) out.
The Mojoverse (more) (again)
Shatterstar (Gaveedra Seven)
Spiral (Ricochet Rita)
X-Men Annual #1
Uncanny X-Men Annual #16
X-Factor Annual #10
X-Force Annual #1
A pivotal battle
Several denizens of Mojoworld
The Death Sponsors
A dubious solution to the Kobayashi Maru scenario
Whether Arize is a mutant
Spiral’s origin story
A new regime
Powerpax (Frankie Power)
A large number of back-up features
The X-Men’s top ten enemies
Amalgam (but not that one)
Darick Robertson’s juvenilia
The return of Taki
The Cable Protocols
Brazilian Marvel characters
Our feelings about Laura Kinney’s backstory
NEXT EPISODE: Louise Simonson
CORRECTION: BonziBuddy was not released until 1999. We regret the error.
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
In which we finally announce our NYCC panel lineup; Boom Boom is the Gina Linetti of X-Force; we don’t actually know very much about the New Warriors; Cable grows as a person; Cyclops makes an ethically dubious call; Warren Kenneth Worthington III is a jerk; Jay gets very angry at a fictional character; no one gets a happy ending and the skeleton was inside you all along.
In which Franklin Richards makes everything more complicated; Reed Richards is a terrible parent; Days of Future Present is a surprisingly good ghost story; Valeria Richards is awesome (but does not appear in this crossover); everyone’s got hounds these days; Banshee is your sad cyborg dad; Phoenix has a lot of feelings; and X-Factor once again manages to up the ante for child endangerment.
Nightcrawler’s brief clerical career
Days of Future Present
Annuals, in general
Some extraordinarily specific Namor headcanon
Fantastic Four Annual #23
New Mutants Annual #6
X-Factor Annual #5
Uncanny X-Men Annual #14
Several statuses quo
The reproductive potential of Doombots
Ms. Marvel (Sharon Ventura)
A Code Red Time Emergency
One of Jay’s dream pitches
Your sad cyborg dad
The worst tea party
One hell of a kiss
Robocop vs. Terminator
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur gets eclectic!
The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week.
In which the back-up stories of Atlantis Attacks are way better than the main event; the Serpent Society is hilarious; Longshot finds a rock; the S.U.R.F.E.R.S. are no Neutrinos; our volume of digressions is inversely proportional to our investment in this crossover; Jay overthinks sunglasses; and somehow we still aren’t entirely done with Inferno.
A dubious crossover event and three splendid backup stories
The best thing in Marvel Puzzle Quest
Uncanny X-Men Annual #13
New Mutants Annual #5
X-Factor Annual #4
The Serpent Society
Why snakes don’t wear vests
The Maple Hill Farm books
The Horn of Doom (again)
Surf, or S.U.R.F.E.R.S., or whoever the hell they are
Zak and the Neutrinos
The trouble with mobile landmarks
A case of mistaken identity
The true meaning of something, probably
Ralph Macchio, but not that Ralph Macchio
Circumstances in which it is acceptable to throw a small child down an elevator shaft
The definitive Boom Boom
Eligible gentlemen of the Marvel Universe
Boom Boom Von Doom
A false dichotomy
A really great outfit
Presidencies rated by X-Books
Best and worst moral inversions
NEXT WEEK: Mojo Mayhem!
ART CHALLENGE: Send your best Boom Boom romance stories, covers, and pin-ups to xplainthexmen(at)gmail.com by SEPTEMBER 15, with the subject line BOOM BOOM RULES.
NOTE: In this episode, Jay briefly confused two Marvel villain teams: the Serpent Society (snake-themed villains); and the Sons of the Serpent, also known as the Serpent Men (hate group). We would like to offer our apologies to the Serpent Society, who are ridiculous but not, as far as we know, racist.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!