Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Bastion

As Mentioned in Episode 373 – Tainted Loins

7 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Looks like your dad’s pain is a little worse than yours, Bobby. (Uncanny X-Men #340)
Now that is 1996 Sam Guthrie. Finally. (Uncanny X-Men #340)
Graydon Creed according to Joe Madureira… and Victor Creed as a glass of whiskey. (Uncanny X-Men #340)
If the command van’s a-knockin’… (Uncanny X-Men #340)
Joe Madureira’s mostly known for his action scenes, but he’s pretty great with quiet conversations too. (Uncanny X-Men #340)
Your government dresses you funny, Madrox. (X-Factor #128)
That’s so Raven. (X-Factor #128)
Graydon Creed according to Jeff Matsuda… and Harper, who is well aware of the need for discretion. (X-Factor #128)
Mystique transforms, version 1. (X-Factor #128)
Sabretooth and less-interesting-Sabretooth. (X-Factor #128)
Val Cooper just got back from the most dangerous sleepover ever. (X-Factor #129)
I love it when powers cross panel borders. (X-Factor #129)
Mystique transforms, version 2. (X-Factor #129)
Having grown up in the 90s, I can assure you this is quite an accomplishment. (X-Factor #129)
Well I’m impressed. (X-Factor #129)
Ah, that explains it. (X-Factor #129)
Scrawling SOON across your son’s campaign poster is the first step in saving his life. (X-Factor #129)
Blowing a hole in your son’s campaign poster is the second step in saving his life. (X-Factor #130)
Blowing additional holes in your son’s campaign poster is the third step in saving his life. (X-Factor #130)
Mystique transforms, version 3. (X-Factor #130)
Graydon Creed according to Eric Battle… and Val Cooper has changed out of her sleepwear. (X-Factor #130)
I’m just writing a visual companion, and I kinda want to yell “GUARDS”. (X-Factor #130)
This should’ve been two-thirds of the issue instead of two pages. (X-Factor #130)
Snazzy! (X-Factor #130)
Raven, just interrupt! You’re allowed! (X-Factor #130)
And with that..! (X-Factor #130)
NEXT EPISODE: Hawk Talk! IN TWO WEEKS: Frank Punisher meets Carl the X-Cutioner.

FURTHER READING

  • Miles talked about how to follow Krakoa’s year two X-books into year three:
    • Bridge miniseries:
      • Planet-Size X-Men 1-shot
      • Inferno
      • X Lives of Wolverine
      • X Deaths of Wolverine
    • Year two books that don’t continue into year three:
      • Cable (got a wrap-up 1-shot called Cable Reloaded)
      • Children of the Atom
      • Hellions
      • X-Corp
      • X-Factor
    • Books that have kept their year two numbering:
      • New Mutants
      • Wolverine
      • X-Force
      • X-Men Unlimited (on Marvel Unlimited)
    • Books that relaunched with a new #1 and new creators:
      • Marauders
      • X-Men
    • Books that relaunched with a new title:
      • Excalibur -> Knights of X
      • SWORD -> X-Men: Red
      • Way of X -> X-Men: the Onslaught Revelation -> Legion of X
    • One book is brand new:
      • Immortal X-Men
    • Also, don’t miss the Secret X-Men 1-shot toward the end of year two!

373 – Tainted Loins

7 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Google Podcasts | Spotify | Stitcher | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Drake Roberts identity is retired; Gambit bonds with William Drake; Graydon Creed is evil but nondescript; tales of Pyro’s death have been somewhat exaggerated; and some mysteries resolve better than others.

X-PLAINED:

  • Damian Tryp
  • X-Factor (more) (again)
  • Uncanny X-Men #340
  • X-Factor #128-30
  • More Drake family dynamics
  • The Sword of Shannara
  • The general vagueness of Graydon Creed
  • Several ninjas
  • Hound stuff
  • Val Cooper’s pajamas
  • An unexpected return
  • Shapeshifting
  • Overextended plotlines
  • Some unusually threatening dad jokes
  • The anticlimactic death of Graydon Creed
  • Some time travel bullshit
  • Which series are ending and which are relaunching between Reign of X and Destiny of X
  • How and when Colossus stopped being the Juggernaut

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: The Adventures of Carl & Frank

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 362 – Lazy Summer Day

Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
The turtle! (Generation X #20)
These cuties. (Generation X #20)
That’s… not how salads are supposed to work. (Generation X #20)
Behold: Banshee’s enormous arms. (Generation X #20)
Aw, this kid. (Generation X #20)
Aw, THESE kids. (Generation X #20)
Jubilee, no. (Generation X #21)
If I ever die, I hope Chris Bachalo draws a bunch of unsavory bikers in my memory. (Generation X #21)
Torres. (Generation X #21)
Seriously, how did she make that whole mansion out of a fairly brief exam paper? (Generation X #21)
Trevor Chase and his assailants. (X-Factor #127)
Maybe it’s a Ron Swanson thing and she gets his name wrong on purpose to keep him from getting too attached. (X-Factor #127)
Is it… a wabbit? (X-Factor #127)
NEXT EPISODE: Baseball!

LINKS & FURTHER MISCREANTS

362 – Lazy Summer Day

4 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Google Podcasts | Spotify | Stitcher | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Chris Bachalo draws excellent critters; Bastion is a terrible boss; everyone fucks in the Danger Room; Jubilee fails a midterm; and humans were the real monsters all along.

X-PLAINED:

  • The worst mutant power
  • Generation X #20-21
  • X-Factor #127
  • Bachalo critters
  • Bastion (more) (again)
  • Daria (but not the one you’re thinking of)
  • Chevy the janitor (again)
  • Mean Cuisine
  • Harker the cat
  • A threatening salad
  • Yet another time-traveling Nate
  • Flirting
  • A movie reference
  • U.S.1 and Baron von Blimp
  • Several ways to fail a midterm
  • “Autism”
  • Miguela Torres
  • Trevor Chase
  • A series of interviews
  • Richard Starkings and Comicraft
  • Destiny’s absence from film

NEXT EPISODE: Baseball!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 357 – The Semiotics of Regret

3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
This cover accomplishes what it sets out to do so beautifully… (Uncanny X-Men #337)
…as does its credits page. (Uncanny X-Men #337)
Nothing is entirely okay here. (Uncanny X-Men #337)
Hank, no. (Uncanny X-Men #337)
And wistfulness for dessert. (Uncanny X-Men #337)
Ah, that cover. Again. (X-Men #57)
Versions of this have been used roughly a zillion times; but it always works. (X-Men #57)
The 616, where televisions always flip through the most scene-appropriate clips. (X-Men #57)
Clean up your damn flechettes, Warren Kenneth Worthington III. (X-Men #57)
(He’s not covered in water; it’s the anti-psy field and the evocation of Days of Future Past.) (Onslaught Epilogue #1)
Not… the Rainbow Bears?! (Onslaught Epilogue #1)
Hi, kiddo. (Onslaught Epilogue #1)
Psychology is… different, here. (Onslaught Epilogue #1)
Sure, why not? (Onslaught Epilogue #1)
NEXT EPISODE: GIANT-SIZE WINTER SPECIAL, feat. Jonathan Hickman!

As Mentioned in Episode 356 – The Michael Bay-eux Tapestry

Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
The 90s-est Rogue in the 90s-est crossover. (X-Men #56)
“Who but I could pose so impressively?” (X-Men #56)
“SENTINEL TZ-031 REPORTING TO HELP YOU MAKE YOUR POINT, SIR” (X-Men #56)
This Onslaught-form may mostly be a retcon to justify past artistic inconsistency – but damn it looks awesome. (X-Men #56)
“And not even one of them told me the actually-important parts of AoA’s whole deal.” (X-Men #56)
Kubert gets so much credit for making a quiet conversation this visually riveting. (X-Men #56)
“You may be a hybrid monstrosity composed of the worst parts of both myself and my greatest frenemy, but at least you seem to have excellent dental hygiene.” (X-Men #56)
This cover kinda sums it up. And that’s not a bad thing. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Well shit. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Scott Summers, master tactician. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Goosebumps. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
The world’s greatest heroes versus a bright orange glow to the right of the two-page spread. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Hope, thy name is Moppet. Despair, thy name is x-treme teen. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
“And on that day, the heroes channeled their collective courage and dedication into a single blast of punching and yelling.” (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
BTOOM (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
I’m not crying you’re crying (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
*heavy metal horns* (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Thor, that’s not how it… oh, I guess it is. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Man, these two (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Nothing I can say will add to these panels. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
This shouldn’t work, but damn, it does. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
“In the meantime, I guess you could grab that universe-in-a-ball and learn contact juggling?” (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
NEXT TIME: Onslaught ends, for real.

356 – The Michael Bay-eux Tapestry

7 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Google Podcasts | Spotify | Stitcher | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which it’s hard to be Joseph; we do our best to explain the inexplicable; Miles is full of feelings; Hulk smashes; and Onslaught finally (mostly) ends.

X-PLAINED:

  • Heroes Reborn Return
  • Wild times with the Dreaming Celestial
  • Onslaught so far
  • X-Men #56
  • Onslaught: Marvel Universe
  • Jay’s definitive Bond
  • Joseph (more)
  • The physical evolution of Onslaught
  • Sense of scale
  • Hawkeye (TV series)
  • Onslaught’s goals, to what extent they exist
  • The three genders
  • A really big fight
  • A miracle of magnetism
  • The (nominal) end of the Age of Heroes
  • Beast’s scientific career
  • Chamber’s voice

NEXT EPISODE: Several epilogues

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 348 – Onslaught Continues

Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
In Apocalypse’s defense, this is also roughly what I wear to sleep. (Uncanny X-Men #335)
“Quick! Let’s fight for no reason!” (Uncanny X-Men #335)
“Next, we’re gonna shut down Blue Man Group.” (X-Men Unlimited #11)
This is what every bar is like, right? (X-Men Unlimited #11)
Rogue has no time for your nonsense. (X-Men Unlimited #11)
Damn, Bastion. Cold. (X-Men Unlimited #11)
“Do you like… magnets?” (X-Men Unlimited #11)
SEE? GUN ARM! (X-Men Unlimited #11)
Did Thor ever actually wear that outfit in a comic book? (Avengers #401)
Vision is RIGHT THERE, man. (Avengers #401)
Including this panel entirely for Gratuitously Topless Thor. (Avengers #401)
Uncalled for, Silver-Age callback. (Avengers #401)
That is not the face of a man who has driven around in a magnet-shaped car. (Avengers #401)
NEXT EPISODE: More Onslaught (but also Sinister)!

348 – Onslaught Continues

8 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Google Podcasts | Spotify | Stitcher | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which all the heroes fight each other, a lot.

X-PLAINED:

  • Teenage Iron Man
  • Onslaught thus far
  • What Onslaught wants
  • Uncanny X-Men #335
  • X-Men Unlimited #11
  • Avengers #401
  • The rebirth of Apocalypse
  • The Apocalocophagous
  • The Age of Wonders
  • X-Man vs. Professor X
  • Nate Grey-sitting
  • Humanity’s Last Stand
  • Simon Trask
  • Bastion
  • Rogue and Joseph
  • Avengers fashion
  • Assumptions
  • Other characters who could merge Onslaught-style
  • Origins of the Angry Claremontean Narrator

NEXT EPISODE: Yes, still Onslaught.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

342 – Angry Birds

13 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Google Podcasts | Spotify | Stitcher | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Miles does his best, birds are weird, some of the most dangerous villains are pink, and we are in the Onslaught Zone.

X-PLAINED:

      • Malibu Comics and Marvel Comics, sitting in a (multiversal) tree, KILLING
      • Archangel: Phantom Wings
      • Unorthodox artistic decisions
      • Archangel (Warren Kenneth Worthington III)
      • Angst, renewed
      • Bird ichor
      • Tuesday Bird and her Mad Max outfit
      • How (not?) to flirt
      • Uncanny X-Men #333
      • Various Roberts Kelly
      • Graydon Creed, doin’ Mom proud
      • Bastion, Nimrod, & Master Mold
      • Operation Zero Tolerance
      • X-Teams and their lanes
      • A naked murder-uncle
      • Pink villains
      • Obscure callbacks
      • Event synergy
      • X-Men #53
      • Day to-day challenges of telepathy
      • Super-Saiyan Magneto
      • Phoenix (Jean Grey), actual adult
      • Onslaught
      • That scene from 1964’s X-Men #3
      • A surprisingly insightful look at Professor X’s dark side
      • Logan’s assorted friendships with teen girls
      • XMEN Disease

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force gets, predictably, x-treme.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!