Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Bastion

As Mentioned in Episode 395 – Boxer Briefs of Humanity

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
“Weirdest disco ball I’ve ever seen, Sarge, and I used to hang out at that evil disco Dazzler used to play at.” (Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998)
Maybe this is why the X-Men refuse to use the phone. (Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998)
Shades of Weapon X. (Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998)
Jeez Nathan just ring the freakin’ doorbell (Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998)
Rose Gilberti, you were too good for this world. (Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998)
World 1-4 (Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998)
Dun duh dun duh dun, Inspector Aaron (Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998)
Cable’s psychic link x-plains Machine Man (Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998)
Look, I know the IT department has gotten messy over the course of the pandemic, you don’t have to rub it in (Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998)
EWWW (Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998)
Aww shit we’ve wandered into a TED Talk (Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998)
Sometimes I wish PowerPoint had never been invented (Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998)
And sometimes, as a joke, the Siege Perilous will transform a robot into a naked man with a goatee. (Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998)
Attacked by exposition (Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998)
Go-Go Gadget Free Will! (Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998)
EWWW NOW HE’S DOING IT TOO (Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998)
NEXT TIME: The Old New Mutants meet the New New Mutants

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

395 – Boxer Briefs of Humanity

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay has exciting news, Rick Leonardo draws an impressively creepy mad scientist’s lair, the clouds are purple and so is the prose, Powers of X gets a subtle prequel 21 years early, Cable’s own tolerance has finally reached zero, and we summarize Bastion’s backstory way, way faster than Bastion does.

X-PLAINED:

  • Machine Man (X-51) (Aaron Stack)
  • Operation Zero Tolerance (more) (again)
  • Jay’s upcoming parental leave
  • Bastion (Sebastion Gilberti)
  • M-Tech
  • Powerman 5000
  • Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998
  • Hobgits and their sound effects
  • Street Fighter: the Roleplaying Game
  • Batroc ze Lepair
  • Jack Kirby’s 2001: A Space Odyssey
  • X-51 / X-23 overlaps
  • Classic Summers Family Bullshit
  • Psionic soapboxes
  • What makes Bastion a compelling villain
  • The necessity of companions
  • Master Mold 3.0 & Nimrod 2.0
  • Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998
  • Terrible font choices
  • ZORCH
  • Cable vs. floors
  • The carbon footprint of robotic fascism
  • Marvel Comics Presents #17-24 (just a little)
  • Incredible Hulk Annual #7 (just a tad)
  • The Siege Perilous
  • The future of Machine Man
  • The hypothetical 2022 version of Bastion
  • Historical events in which we’d love to see long-lived mutants take part

NEXT WEEK: We take a break for the holidays!

IN TWO WEEKS: The Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men 2022 Giant-Size Winter Special!

  • Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
  • Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!
  • Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
  • Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 394 – We All Have to Go Sometime

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
It’s the OZT broadcast that keeps on giving! (X-Men #66)
Cecilia Reyes, reluctant hero. (X-Men #66)
I really thought this was a callback to a bit of Iceman’s Silver Age origin story, but it is not. (X-Men #66)
Here for the meme. (X-Men #66)
Sabra, puncher of cars, owner of the world’s most durable bra. (X-Men #67)
Speaking of callbacks. (X-Men #68)
I know that Marrow is not actually supposed to be kicking herself in the face here, but I can’t see it any other way. (X-Men #68)
Can you imagine a more awkward person to get stuck in a bathroom conversation with than Henry Peter Gyrich? (X-Men #68)
Again, here for your Internet use. (X-Men #68)
Sabra’s costume is fairly cool. (X-Men #68)
HOW DOES SHE SAY THAT MUCH WHILE JUMPING OUT OF THE WATER DOLPHIN-STYLE? (X-Men #69)
And that’s that, sort of. (X-Men #69)
NEXT EPISODE: Bastion and his fleshy appendages!

LINKS & FURTHER LIFE LESSONS:

394 – We All Have to Go Sometime

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which there’s always room for another X-cast; Cecilia Reyes wasn’t even supposed to be here today; Sabra has indestructible underwear; prime sentinels are probably even worse pets than quail; Marrow probably swears more than superhero comics allow for; and Operation Zero Tolerance comes to an end.

X-PLAINED:

  • The original proposed ending of Operation Zero Tolerance
  • The actual ending of Operation Zero Tolerance
  • X-Men #66-69
  • Operation Zero Tolerance (so far)
  • Prime Sentinels (again)
  • Bastion (more) (again)
  • Spidey and His Amazing Friends
  • Cecilia Reyes
  • The most reluctant X-Men
  • Nanomachines
  • Trust
  • Miles’s least favorite X-Men story
  • Sabra
  • Superheroes who wear white
  • Wizard dogs
  • Indestructible undergarments
  • Angie Quail
  • Candy Southern (again)
  • Actual quail
  • Bones
  • Metal Gear Solid
  • Officers Aguinal and Cleaveland
  • The sound of a soul losing its shape
  • One of many problems with the carceral system
  • What men do in bathrooms
  • A showdown
  • Operation Zero Tolerance in retrospect
  • Silly superhero names
  • Non-mutant characters who pair well with X-Men

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Bastion’s secret origin!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 392 – The Mullet of Leadership

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Venice Beach. (Generation X #29)
Sunglasses shopping with Husk and M. (Generation X #29)
Disguises! (Generation X #29)
The Sugar Bombs have to be a Calvin and Hobbes nod, right? (Generation X #29)
This kid, man. (Generation X #29)
Does anyone know who these three are supposed to be? (Generation X #29)
Still cool, but not as cool as when they were bugs. (Generation X #29)
Emma, no! (Generation X #30)
Bachalo’s Prime Sentinels are pretty fun. (Generation X #31)
This kid was like sixteen two issues ago. (Generation X #31)
Wheeee! (Generation X #31)
FINALLY! (Generation X #31)
He kind of deserves it, though. (Uncanny X-Men #346)
You tell ‘im, JJJ! (Uncanny X-Men #346)
NEXT EPISODE: Camping trip!

392 – The Mullet of Leadership

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Chris Bachalo changes things up; we theorize about Prime Sentinel hierarchy; the headmasters go undercover; fictional characters spend a lot of time in sewers; M’s secret comes to light; J. Jonah Jameson is at his best in X-books; Jay pitches a video game; Marrow gets a makeover; and part of journalistic integrity is choosing what not to cover.

X-PLAINED:

  • Banshee, recently
  • Generation X #29-31
  • Uncanny X-Men #346
  • Bastion
  • Daria
  • Leave It to Chance
  • Miguela Torres
  • Venice Beach
  • Skin’s cousin Gil
  • Inconsistencies that may or may not be deliberate
  • Jolt Cola™
  • Yet another take on Prime Sentinels
  • The Mullet of Leadership
  • A cool kid
  • Cat drama
  • DOA (again)
  • Cars
  • A kiss
  • Several attempted murders
  • Marrow’s appearance
  • Boyd and Mathers
  • X-fighting games
  • Mutant leadership philosophies

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men cleverly disguised as Wolverine

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 391 – Mansion of Theseus

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
THE SIEGE OF THE VAPOR ANTS! THE SIEGE OF THE VAPOR ANTS! (Cable #45)
How has nobody died in the danger room?! (I mean, yet. But still.) (Cable #46)
I wish they’d made the bedrooms look a little more lived-in, but it’s still an effective sequence. (Cable #46)
Cable: Mole Man. (Cable #46)
Look at this nonsense. (Cable #46)
That’s… that’s a whooooole lotta captions, there. (Cable #47)
And a whole lotta beer. (Cable #47)
Meanwhile in X-Man… (X-Man #30)
This fuckin’ urchin, man. (X-Man #30)
Nate “It’s always the ’90s somewhere” Grey. (X-Man #30)
It’s easy to forget that even in the Marvel Universe, not everyone would take flight for granted. (X-Man #30)
NEXT WEEK: HAWK TALK
NEXT EPISODE: Generation X!

 

391 – Mansion of Theseus

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the X-Mansion has unusually large vents; Cable’s hair should not be floppy; Nate Grey meets his maternal grandparents; and we would really like to know more about the Siege of the Vapor Ants.

X-PLAINED:

  • Cable #45-47
  • X-Man #30
  • What various Nathans have been up to
  • Operation Zero Tolerance (again)
  • The Siege of the Vapor Ants
  • Three grenades
  • Beefy vents for beefy men
  • Danger
  • Shi’arese
  • Cable vs. Bastion
  • So much beer
  • Three rad ladies
  • Several Greys
  • Roust
  • Every appearance of Joey and Gaylin Bailey
  • Several faked deaths
  • Possible impact of the MCU on the X-comics’ status quo
  • Character ages

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 390 – Corners and Conspiracies

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
X-Force X-Plains Dani Moonstar. (X-Force #67)
Cable is probably the nice kind of babysitter who lets you stay up past your bedtime and watch scary movies. (X-Force #67)
Well, shit. (X-Force #67)
Fashion for the cutting-edge interdimensional explorer. (X-Force #68)
Domino over the years, maybe. (X-Force #68)
To our absolute shock, he survives. (X-Force #69)
Domino, transformed. See what we mean about the body language? (X-Force #69)
Please enjoy G.W. Bridge’s heart pajamas. (X-Force #69)
The lava lamp dimension. (X-Force #69)
Oh. THAT guy. (X-Force #69)
A familiar cover. (X-Force #70)
Man, fuck you, Ozymandias. (X-Force #70)
NEXT EPISODE: Nathans all over the place!

And here are some of the ridiculous creatures Jay met at the Sheep and Wool Festival:

 

390 – Corners and Conspiracies

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Danielle Moonstar quiet quits; a bunch of people regular quit; we are pleasantly surprised by the survival of a minor character; tough guys wear hearts; and X-Force once again takes its place as the best comic of the line.

X-PLAINED:

  • Vanisher’s brain tumor, again
  • X-Force #67-70
  • The Wakeman Oncological Research Center
  • Commander Ekaterina Gryaznova
  • The Mutant Liberation Front
  • Wildside
  • Dragoness
  • Forearm
  • Tempo
  • Locus
  • Moonstar (Mirage) (Danielle Moonstar)
  • Quiet quitting (and why it’s a bullshit concept)
  • Locus’s skin
  • Prime Sentinels
  • Ozymandias (again)
  • Llamas
  • A journey to another dimension
  • Spencer Beaumont
  • G. W. Bridge’s pajamas
  • In-between dimensions
  • Yet another homage to Uncanny X-Men #138
  • Cerebra
  • Earth-2099 vs. Earth-928
  • Our favorite non-canon ships

NEXT EPISODE: Cable, home alone

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!