Bastion – Page 2 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 390 – Corners and Conspiracies

November 6, 2022 Jay One comment

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

X-Force X-Plains Dani Moonstar. (X-Force #67)

Cable is probably the nice kind of babysitter who lets you stay up past your bedtime and watch scary movies. (X-Force #67)

Well, shit. (X-Force #67)

Fashion for the cutting-edge interdimensional explorer. (X-Force #68)

Domino over the years, maybe. (X-Force #68)

To our absolute shock, he survives. (X-Force #69)

Domino, transformed. See what we mean about the body language? (X-Force #69)

Please enjoy G.W. Bridge’s heart pajamas. (X-Force #69)

The lava lamp dimension. (X-Force #69)

Oh. THAT guy. (X-Force #69)

A familiar cover. (X-Force #70)

Man, fuck you, Ozymandias. (X-Force #70)

NEXT EPISODE: Nathans all over the place!

And here are some of the ridiculous creatures Jay met at the Sheep and Wool Festival:

390 – Corners and Conspiracies

October 30, 2022 Jay 16 comments

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In which Danielle Moonstar quiet quits; a bunch of people regular quit; we are pleasantly surprised by the survival of a minor character; tough guys wear hearts; and X-Force once again takes its place as the best comic of the line.

X-PLAINED:

Vanisher’s brain tumor, again
X-Force #67-70
The Wakeman Oncological Research Center
Commander Ekaterina Gryaznova
The Mutant Liberation Front
Wildside
Dragoness
Forearm
Tempo
Locus
Moonstar (Mirage) (Danielle Moonstar)
Quiet quitting (and why it’s a bullshit concept)
Locus’s skin
Prime Sentinels
Ozymandias (again)
Llamas
A journey to another dimension
Spencer Beaumont
G. W. Bridge’s pajamas
In-between dimensions
Yet another homage to Uncanny X-Men #138
Cerebra
Earth-2099 vs. Earth-928
Our favorite non-canon ships

NEXT EPISODE: Cable, home alone

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 389 – Wreck Gotta Recognize

October 23, 2022 Jay One comment

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Bad times on the high seas. (Generation X #26)

This is actually a callback to a panel from waaaaaaay back in the Bronze Age! (Generation X #26)

OZT didn’t so much shave Jubilee’s head as give her a sweet flattop. (Generation X #26)

Throes of Weapon X. (Generation X #27)

Damn, Bachalo. (Generation X #27)

A lot of X-kids have a specific narrative moment when they realize Cyclops is a person. (Generation X #27)

Origins of Bastion. (Generation X #27)

Aw, these guys! (Generation X #27)

ONE. GIANT. PANCAKE. (Generation X #27)

Our narrator. (Generation X #28)

This fucking guy. (Generation X #28)

Hicks does Cockrum. (Generation X #28)

A good hug. (Generation X #28)

Daria is Not Like Other Girls. (Generation X #28)

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force!

389 – Wreck Gotta Recognize

October 23, 2022 Jay 10 comments

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In which some puns are fundamentally visual; Jubilee is a really good kid; Bastion is a bad person but a good villain; Bachalo does Romita; Seagulls are assholes (but reasonably good narrators); Skin has no time for fantasies; Hitch does Cockrum; and Operation Zero Tolerance (unofficially) begins (again).

X-PLAINED:

Glorian, the Shaper of Dreams (Thomas Gideon) (and his dad)
Event build-up
Generation X #26-28
Bad times on a raft
Valuable lessons from the Xavier School
Yet another somewhat pointless Nightmare cameo
Jubilee vs. Operation Zero Tolerance
A good conversation
Cookin’ with Jubilee
Seagulls
Dreams
The Island that Chills Like a Man
Strong Guy on Krakoa
How (and whether) Logan ages

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 373 – Tainted Loins

May 22, 2022 Miles 7 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Looks like your dad’s pain is a little worse than yours, Bobby. (Uncanny X-Men #340)

Now that is 1996 Sam Guthrie. Finally. (Uncanny X-Men #340)

Graydon Creed according to Joe Madureira… and Victor Creed as a glass of whiskey. (Uncanny X-Men #340)

If the command van’s a-knockin’… (Uncanny X-Men #340)

Joe Madureira’s mostly known for his action scenes, but he’s pretty great with quiet conversations too. (Uncanny X-Men #340)

Your government dresses you funny, Madrox. (X-Factor #128)

That’s so Raven. (X-Factor #128)

Graydon Creed according to Jeff Matsuda… and Harper, who is well aware of the need for discretion. (X-Factor #128)

Mystique transforms, version 1. (X-Factor #128)

Sabretooth and less-interesting-Sabretooth. (X-Factor #128)

Val Cooper just got back from the most dangerous sleepover ever. (X-Factor #129)

I love it when powers cross panel borders. (X-Factor #129)

Mystique transforms, version 2. (X-Factor #129)

Having grown up in the 90s, I can assure you this is quite an accomplishment. (X-Factor #129)

Well I’m impressed. (X-Factor #129)

Ah, that explains it. (X-Factor #129)

Scrawling SOON across your son’s campaign poster is the first step in saving his life. (X-Factor #129)

Blowing a hole in your son’s campaign poster is the second step in saving his life. (X-Factor #130)

Blowing additional holes in your son’s campaign poster is the third step in saving his life. (X-Factor #130)

Mystique transforms, version 3. (X-Factor #130)

Graydon Creed according to Eric Battle… and Val Cooper has changed out of her sleepwear. (X-Factor #130)

I’m just writing a visual companion, and I kinda want to yell “GUARDS”. (X-Factor #130)

This should’ve been two-thirds of the issue instead of two pages. (X-Factor #130)

Snazzy! (X-Factor #130)

Raven, just interrupt! You’re allowed! (X-Factor #130)

And with that..! (X-Factor #130)

NEXT EPISODE: Hawk Talk! IN TWO WEEKS: Frank Punisher meets Carl the X-Cutioner.

373 – Tainted Loins

May 22, 2022 Miles 7 comments

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In which the Drake Roberts identity is retired; Gambit bonds with William Drake; Graydon Creed is evil but nondescript; tales of Pyro’s death have been somewhat exaggerated; and some mysteries resolve better than others.

X-PLAINED:

Damian Tryp
X-Factor (more) (again)
Uncanny X-Men #340
X-Factor #128-30
More Drake family dynamics
The Sword of Shannara
The general vagueness of Graydon Creed
Several ninjas
Hound stuff
Val Cooper’s pajamas
An unexpected return
Shapeshifting
Overextended plotlines
Some unusually threatening dad jokes
The anticlimactic death of Graydon Creed
Some time travel bullshit
Which series are ending and which are relaunching between Reign of X and Destiny of X
How and when Colossus stopped being the Juggernaut

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: The Adventures of Carl & Frank

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 362 – Lazy Summer Day

February 13, 2022 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

The turtle! (Generation X #20)

These cuties. (Generation X #20)

That’s… not how salads are supposed to work. (Generation X #20)

Behold: Banshee’s enormous arms. (Generation X #20)

Aw, this kid. (Generation X #20)

Aw, THESE kids. (Generation X #20)

Jubilee, no. (Generation X #21)

If I ever die, I hope Chris Bachalo draws a bunch of unsavory bikers in my memory. (Generation X #21)

Torres. (Generation X #21)

Seriously, how did she make that whole mansion out of a fairly brief exam paper? (Generation X #21)

Trevor Chase and his assailants. (X-Factor #127)

Maybe it’s a Ron Swanson thing and she gets his name wrong on purpose to keep him from getting too attached. (X-Factor #127)

Is it… a wabbit? (X-Factor #127)

NEXT EPISODE: Baseball!

LINKS & FURTHER MISCREANTS

Waiting for the Trade re: the Danger Room and what’s been done there.
For more about Tana Nile, Howard the Duck, and Franklin Richards, check out Giant-Size Special #10!
X-Factor, summarized.

362 – Lazy Summer Day

February 13, 2022 Jay 4 comments

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Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | Email | RSS

In which Chris Bachalo draws excellent critters; Bastion is a terrible boss; everyone fucks in the Danger Room; Jubilee fails a midterm; and humans were the real monsters all along.

X-PLAINED:

The worst mutant power
Generation X #20-21
X-Factor #127
Bachalo critters
Bastion (more) (again)
Daria (but not the one you’re thinking of)
Chevy the janitor (again)
Mean Cuisine
Harker the cat
A threatening salad
Yet another time-traveling Nate
Flirting
A movie reference
U.S.1 and Baron von Blimp
Several ways to fail a midterm
“Autism”
Miguela Torres
Trevor Chase
A series of interviews
Richard Starkings and Comicraft
Destiny’s absence from film

NEXT EPISODE: Baseball!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 357 – The Semiotics of Regret

December 26, 2021 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

This cover accomplishes what it sets out to do so beautifully… (Uncanny X-Men #337)

…as does its credits page. (Uncanny X-Men #337)

Nothing is entirely okay here. (Uncanny X-Men #337)

Hank, no. (Uncanny X-Men #337)

And wistfulness for dessert. (Uncanny X-Men #337)

Ah, that cover. Again. (X-Men #57)

Versions of this have been used roughly a zillion times; but it always works. (X-Men #57)

The 616, where televisions always flip through the most scene-appropriate clips. (X-Men #57)

Clean up your damn flechettes, Warren Kenneth Worthington III. (X-Men #57)

(He’s not covered in water; it’s the anti-psy field and the evocation of Days of Future Past.) (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

Not… the Rainbow Bears?! (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

Hi, kiddo. (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

Psychology is… different, here. (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

Sure, why not? (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

NEXT EPISODE: GIANT-SIZE WINTER SPECIAL, feat. Jonathan Hickman!

As Mentioned in Episode 356 – The Michael Bay-eux Tapestry

December 19, 2021 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

The 90s-est Rogue in the 90s-est crossover. (X-Men #56)

“Who but I could pose so impressively?” (X-Men #56)

“SENTINEL TZ-031 REPORTING TO HELP YOU MAKE YOUR POINT, SIR” (X-Men #56)

This Onslaught-form may mostly be a retcon to justify past artistic inconsistency – but damn it looks awesome. (X-Men #56)

“And not even one of them told me the actually-important parts of AoA’s whole deal.” (X-Men #56)

Kubert gets so much credit for making a quiet conversation this visually riveting. (X-Men #56)

“You may be a hybrid monstrosity composed of the worst parts of both myself and my greatest frenemy, but at least you seem to have excellent dental hygiene.” (X-Men #56)

This cover kinda sums it up. And that’s not a bad thing. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

Well shit. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

Scott Summers, master tactician. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

Goosebumps. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

The world’s greatest heroes versus a bright orange glow to the right of the two-page spread. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

Hope, thy name is Moppet. Despair, thy name is x-treme teen. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

“And on that day, the heroes channeled their collective courage and dedication into a single blast of punching and yelling.” (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)