Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Bernard the Poet

335 – Bone Town

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we cover somewhat peculiar content under somewhat peculiar circumstances; nobody does it like Alan Davis; in this house, we appreciate Gracie Gamble; Bernard the Poet makes a comeback; nominal errors are not what they appear; and you should probably not leave your children with most of the X-Men.

X-PLAINED:

  • Ravencroft vs. Ravenscroft
  • Unusual recording circumstances
  • ClanDestine #1-8
  • X-Men/ClanDestine #1-2
  • Destines including but not limited to:
    • Rory (Crimson Crusader)
    • Pandora (Imp)
    • Adam
    • Walter
    • Kay (Cuckoo)
    • Dominic (Hex)
    • Samantha (Argent)
    • Newton
    • Gracie Gamble
  • Elalyth
  • The Relative Stranger Protocol
  • Lenz
  • Dr. Hywel Griffin
  • GRYPHON
  • Earth-95710
  • Synraith
  • How normal people unwind
  • A dimensional rift and affiliated tentacles
  • How to draw sexy ladies without wrecking your comic
  • A big fight
  • X-sitters
  • The evolution of Hank McCoy’s personality

NEXT EPISODE: The Way of Si Spurrier

LISTENER CHALLENGE: Send your takes on the ’90s stylings of Bernard the Poet to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com, and we’ll publish ’em all in a deeply dubious poetic extravaganza!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 142 – The Monster at the End of This Comic

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at Redbubble, or contact David to purchase the original!
Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at Redbubble, or contact David to purchase the original!
Apocalypse using his powers: never not funny.(X-Factor #51)
Apocalypse using his powers: never not funny.(X-Factor #51)
Ship, no. (X-Factor #51)
Ship, no. (X-Factor #51)
Meet Opal Tanaka, your new favorite X-Factor supporting character! (X-Factor #51)
Meet Opal Tanaka, your new favorite X-Factor supporting character! (X-Factor #51)
HE'S SO FULL OF FEELINGS, YOU GUYS (X-Factor #51)
HE’S SO FULL OF FEELINGS, YOU GUYS (X-Factor #51)
I know it's not supposed to be funny, but it really is. (X-Factor #52)
I know it’s not supposed to be funny, but it really is. (X-Factor #52)
We've all basically been on this date, right? (X-Factor #52)
We’ve all basically been on this date, right? (X-Factor #52)
Terry Shoemaker's Bobby Drake is delightful. (X-Factor #52)
Terry Shoemaker’s Bobby Drake is delightful. (X-Factor #52)
Hiiiiii, The Locust. (X-Factor #52)
Hiiiiii, The Locust. (X-Factor #52)
And again: Clearly not supposed to be comical, and yet... (X-Factor #52)
And again: Clearly not supposed to be comical, and yet… (X-Factor #52)
Aw, these two. (X-Factor #53)
Aw, these two. (X-Factor #53)
Well, that's awkward. (X-Factor #53)
Well, that’s awkward. (X-Factor #53)
Jean Grey: striding into the future with two middle fingers raised to fate. (X-Factor #53)
Jean Grey: striding into the future with two middle fingers raised to fate. (X-Factor #53)
And now for something completely different! (X-Factor #55)
And now for something completely different! (X-Factor #55)
Perfect moment is perfect. (X-Factor #55)
Perfect moment is perfect. (X-Factor #55)
Wellp. (X-Factor #55)
Wellp. (X-Factor #55)
He'll turn out to have been an Infectia monster and therefore doomed anyway, but that doesn't really change the fact that Beast just kicked a dude in front of a train. (X-Factor #55)
He’ll turn out to have been an Infectia monster and therefore doomed anyway, but that doesn’t really change the fact that Beast just kicked a dude in front of a train. (X-Factor #55)
NEXT EPISODE: Happy birthday, Kitty! HAVE SOME MORE SUBTEXT!
NEXT EPISODE: Happy birthday, Kitty! HAVE SOME MORE SUBTEXT!

FURTHER LISTENING:

  • For more on Scott and Jean’s Central Park conversation (and an especially ironic listen this week), check out Episode 22 – Through Death and Through Life!

142 – The Monster at the End of This Comic

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Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at Redbubble, or contact David to purchase the original!

In which Jay and Miles make a personal announcement; moles (probably) don’t lay eggs; Angel is full of angst and flechettes; there’s always room for cello; and no matter how complicated our personal lives get, X-Factor’s will always be worse!

X-PLAINED:

  • The Tanaka family business
  • Jay & Miles vs. time travel
  • Some personal stuff that’s going on
  • Our definitive Iceman artist
  • A whole lot of child endangerment
  • Two reasons not to eat cereal from the 1980s
  • X-Factor #51-53 and 55
  • Cable’s first word
  • Slightly dubious zoning
  • Charlotte Jones
  • Opal Tanaka
  • Mole
  • Chicken Wings
  • Grover, but not that Grover
  • B-grade Sabretooth
  • A double date
  • Giant bugs
  • The Locust (August Hopper)
  • A walk in the park
  • A failed proposal
  • What we talk about when we talk about retcons

NEXT EPISODE: Happy Birthday, Shadowcat!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Rachel and Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 12

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Week of November 5, 2014

In which the stealth cosplay continues, and we are sidetracked by LEGOs.

Reviewed:

  • Axis #4 (2:26)
  • X-Men #21 (4:00)
  • X-Factor #16 (5:36)
  • Life After Logan #1 (7:58)
  • Death of Wolverine: Weapon X Program #1 (12:01)

Pick of the week:

  • LEGO Blackbird Playset (13:27)

Video reviews are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

For more on the Stealth / Plainclothes Cosplay Contest (deadline TODAY – Friday, November 7), go here!

As Mentioned in Episode 21 – Kurt Busiek at the Coffee-a-Go-Go

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Listen to the episode here!

METOXO the lava man, as teased in X-Men #48--but never revealed!
METOXO the lava man, as teased in X-Men #48–but never revealed!
Beast and Iceman teach METOXO the true meaning of Christmas in the 1994 Marvel Holiday Special.
Beast and Iceman teach METOXO the true meaning of Christmas in the 1994 Marvel Holiday Special.
Angel X-Plains the Phoenix retcon. (X-Factor #1)
Angel X-Plains the Phoenix retcon. (X-Factor #1)
In X-Men #37, five reasonably normal-looking teenagers dive out of a plane...
In X-Men #37, five reasonably normal-looking teenagers dive out of a plane…
...and then this happens. (X-Men #37)
…and then this happens. (X-Men #37)
In which Jean Grey, given the choice between the Silver Age's two stock career options for female protagonists, opts for option A. (X-Men #48)
In which Jean Grey, given the choice between the Silver Age’s two stock career options for female protagonists, opts for option A. (X-Men #48)
Scott Summers' radio career lasted five whole panels. Here are four of them. We remain annoyed that none of them actually show him recording, because that would be really useful as a podcast graphic. (X-Men #48)
Scott Summers’ radio career lasted five whole panels. Here are four of them. We remain annoyed that none of them actually show him recording, because that would be really useful as a podcast graphic. (X-Men #48)
The Coffee-a-Go-Go made its debut in X-Men #7, along with regular Bernard the Poet and acerbic waitress Zelda.
The Coffee-a-Go-Go made its debut in X-Men #7, along with regular Bernard the Poet and acerbic waitress Zelda.
There are a lot of Coffee-a-Go-Go stories, but Bobby's 18th birthday, from X-Men #32, is probably the best.
There are a lot of Coffee-a-Go-Go stories, but Bobby’s 18th birthday, from X-Men #32, is probably the best.
Bernard the poet sells out in the name of birthday cheer. (X-Men #32)
Bernard the poet sells out in the name of birthday cheer. (X-Men #32)
Zelda's original line, from X-Men #7 (she was originally a redhead)...
Zelda’s original line, from X-Men #7 (she was originally a redhead)…
...and Busiek's homage in the 1994 Marvel Holiday Special.
…and Busiek’s homage in the 1994 Marvel Holiday Special.
Iceman vs. ice skating. (X-Men #29)
Iceman vs. ice skating. (X-Men #29)
We'll be giving it its own post on Monday, but David Wynne's art of the original X-Men as Enid Blyton's Famous Five goes way too well with this episode.
We’ll be giving it its own post on Monday, but David Wynne’s art of the original X-Men as Enid Blyton’s Famous Five goes way too well with this episode.
Next Episode: Fast-forwarding to 1994 for the wedding of Scott Summers and Jean Grey.
Next Episode: Fast-forwarding to 1994 for the wedding of Scott Summers and Jean Grey.

Links & Further Reading:

21 – Kurt Busiek at the Coffee-a-Go-Go

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Famous Five
Art by David Wynne

In which special guest Kurt Busiek is the J. Robert Oppenheimer of X-Men, Rachel and Miles learn to love the Silver Age, Cyclops gets a job, Bernard the Poet falls from grace, we really wish X-Men: The Secret Years was a real book, everyone recites poetry, and we still don’t get around to Marvels.

X-Plained:

  • METOXO, the Lava Man
  • The true, secret purpose of Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men
  • The Phoenix retcon
  • Archival pocket dimensions
  • Enid Blyton’s X-Men
  • Early-to-mid-20th Century American Jewish Socialism
  • Why the X-Men are terrible mutant P.R.
  • Band names of the Silver Age
  • An X-Men series that might have been.
  • Why Cyclops should be the Rachel Maddow of Marvel
  • Quicksilver’s childhood dreams
  • The Coffee-a-Go-Go
  • Bernard the Poet
  • Zelda Kurtzberg
  • The Barefoot Beats

Next week: The wedding of Scott Summers and Jean Grey!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!