bobby drake – Page 5 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

299 – Toaster Ovens of the Gods

June 28, 2020 Jay 15 comments

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In which some universes are more pleasant than others; Havok is basically a Care Bear; Wolverine is a P.R. nightmare; Nate Grey tries; stealth is not among the Silver Surfer’s strengths; Night Thrasher ascends to godhood; Jay and Miles dive down the What If rabbit hole.

X-PLAINED:

Earth-200500 (again)
Earth-42409
What If? vol. 2 #77
What If? Featuring X-Men: Age of Apocalypse
What If? vol. 2 #81
Earth-77995
Fashion editorials
One of the worse versions of Forge
Superheroes x fashion
Care Bears vs. X-Men
The Hellfire Club of Earth-77995
A surprisingly normal Grey-Summers family
Several uses for the Phoenix Force
Worst-case scenarios
Earth-93074
Savage Land home ec
Bad choices
The Defenders of Earth-93074
How to manipulate Nate Grey
Narrative benefits of omnipotence
A time loop
Earth-9601
A meeting on the moon
What the Watcher watches
Galactus
The Silver Surfer
Grandpa Magneto
Some remarkable technology
A heavy-handed metaphor
Our takes on What If scenarios
The Corbeau-Grey scale of decision making
Storm’s eyes
Our character voices

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men Omega

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop! This June, we’ll be donating all of the profits to Trans Lifeline!

As Mentioned in Episode 286 – Family Before Continuity

February 23, 2020 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Don’t worry! The world will end before they can die in that plane crash! (Excalibur #86)

Pete Wisdom is a happy man with a happy life. (Excalibur #86)

MAH PUIR WEE HOVERCRAFT (Excalibur #86)

I want a team that’s just him and Chamber, brooding. (Excalibur #86)

A green and pleasant, &c. (Excalibur #86)

Well, so much for that mission. (Excalibur #86)

Me, too, Sam. Me, too. (X-Force #43)

I relate so hard to Shatterstar right now. (X-Force #43)

Time travel has some good looks. (X-Force #43)

Aw, these dudes. (X-Force #43)

“We’re here for you, in all our oddly-proportioned glory!” (X-Force #43)

He hasn’t, actually, but that won’t be revealed for a while yet. (X-Force #43)

“Man, is THIS what happens when your boss ditches you for another book?” (X-Force #43)

I know, right?! (Cable #20)

Pretty sure that every one of the original five has, at some point, referred to Hank as their best and/or closest friend. (Cable #20)

Ouch. (Cable #20)

OUCH. (Cable #20)

I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING (Cable #20)

Aw, these guys. And it didn’t even take a bathtub! (Cable #20)

Sometimes a family is eight people in tight clothing posing dramatically for the end of the world. (Cable #20)

NEXT EPISODE: Welcome to Earth-295! Hope you survive the experience!

LINKS & FURTHER EVENT HORIZONS:

Come see us at Emerald City Comic Con! Miles is delightful in person; and Jay, um, exists corporeally.
Jay wrote an X-Men comic! It’s about Cyclops, and it will be out in April. Please tell your local comics shop to order a lot of copies so that they will let him write more.
Also, Thor: Metal Gods continues on over at Serial Box!
We covered the first 3/4 of Legion Quest in Episode 285 – Immediately If Not Sooner…
…and interviewed Fabian Nicieza about X-Force and a bunch of other stuff in Episode 250 – Minding the DNA!
New Intersections: Queer Futurism and the Krakoan Body Politic is a really fascinating article.

286 – Family Before Continuity

February 23, 2020 Jay 16 comments

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In which Sunspot is a bad enough dude to save the president; Black Air is nowhere near as fun as WHO; we reach the end of Fabian Nicieza’s X-Force run; Rictor and Shatterstar talk about feelings; Gambit does not go gently into that good night; Scott and Jean choose family over continuity; Legion Quest comes to a close, along with Earth-616; the heart of Dawn of X is its margins; you should come see us at ECCC; and we announce a new schedule.

X-PLAINED:

The Maker (Reed Richards of Earth-1610)
Jay & Miles at ECCC and FlameCon 2020
Stuff Jay writes
Excalibur #86
X-Force #43
Cable #20
Black Air
Pete Wisdom
What’s been up in Genosha
The Midnight Runner
Navigating Kitty Pryde’s age in Excalibur
A very abrupt ending
The ongoing evolution of X-Force
Locus’s new look
Clubbing with Rictor and Shatterstar
Legion Quest so far
Complicated feelings at the end of the world
A reunion
Where it all started
Vague power sets
Complicated feelings about Dawn of X
The new podcast schedule

NEXT EPISODE: The Age of Apocalypse

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

Come see us at ECCC, March 12-15!

As Mentioned in Episode 285 – Immediately if Not Sooner

February 16, 2020 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Wait, what if Bobby just misuses slang all the time to mess with Bishop? (Uncanny X-Men #320)

What the hell, Legion? (Uncanny X-Men #320)

So, that happened. (Uncanny X-Men #320)

Have fairly normal toes ever seemed as creepy as they do on this cover? I would argue that they have not. (X-Men #40)

If this were fanfic they would immediately have to fake being married to, I dunno, something. (X-Men #40)

Seriously, did ANY readers who didn’t already know recognize this dude as Legion? (X-Men #40)

That shadow! THAT ANGST! (X-Men #40)

“I had always hoped I might find others like us, but I never imagined the continuity would be this impenetrable!” (X-Men #40)

Meanwhile in a sitcom… (X-Men #40)

Tower of Telepaths never really caught on as a board game. (Uncanny X-Men #321)

Just kiss already. (Uncanny X-Men #321)

Greatest caption, or GREATEST CAPTION? (Uncanny X-Men #321)

Wait, has Bishop DISGUISED HIMSELF AS A PIRATE? If the answer is no, I don’t want to know; let me keep this dream. (Uncanny X-Men #321)

JUST KISS ALREADY (Uncanny X-Men #321)

Oh, no. (Uncanny X-Men #321)

Legion, NO. (Uncanny X-Men #321)

You’ve made it to Bishop’s ill-fitting trousers, Cable: just where you needed to be. (Uncanny X-Men #321)

“I knew that someday our future son would travel back in time to kill my best friend.” (X-Men #41)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (X-Men #41)

Ouch. (X-Men #41)

Jubilee gives good advice. (X-Men #41)

The best kiss in X-Men. (X-Men #41)

Okay, but, that first panel. (X-Men #41)

NEXT EPISODE: The end of the world, more, again.

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

Here’s where you can find more on some of the key figures in Legion Quest:
- Legion / David Haller
  - Episode 44 – Assembling Legion, with Si Spurrier
  - Episodes 172–173 – The Muir Island Saga
  - Episode 283 – Legion Quest Quest
- The M’Kraan Crystal and Jahf
  - Episode 9 – Leprechaun Surprise Party
The Apocalypse Triptych is a very cool series of anthologies set before, during, and after various ends of the world.
- (Jay reviewed the first volume when it came out.)

285 – Immediately if Not Sooner

February 16, 2020 Jay 10 comments

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In which Goldballs is still a better name than Egg; we continue our progress towards Earth-295; Legion pulls a Stryfe; we’re still pretty shaky on how to pronounce “M’Kraan”; Xavier and Magneto were absolutely and unquestionably doing sex in the 1970s; it’s time time; the Watcher is watching you masturbate; and what happens immediately before the end of the world is often as important as what happens immediately after.

X-PLAINED:

Balls
Legion (more) (again)
Uncanny X-Men 320-321
X-Men #40
Establishing stakes
Slang of the mid-1990s
Time travel as a dick move
Issues vs. episodes
The M’Kraan Crystal (more) (again)
Hebrew vowels
Latent time travel abilities
Charles Xavier’s “first” bar fight
An exceptional caption
A very bad narrative choice
The death of Charles Francis Xavier
A load-bearing moment in time
Jahf the Guardian
Waiting for the end of the world
The best-drawn kiss in X-Men, ever
The many Krakoas
Integrating Legion into Dawn of X

NEXT EPISODE: More Legion Quest!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 282 – The Tide Takes the Castle

January 26, 2020 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Hank McCoy is his own worst enemy–and best audience! (X-Men #38)

Bobby Drake somehow experienced the ’90s harder than most of his peers. (X-Men #38)

She’s not wrong. (X-Men #38)

“I, um, think I might have left something in Alaska. Bye.” (X-Men #38)

Every day, Bishop gets a little less enchanted with his heroes. (X-Men #38)

Aw, these two and their friendship. (X-Men #38)

[SOBS IN CALLBACK] (Iceman #3)

Has anyone ever stopped to notice the fact that Bobby Drake is a fucking spectacular sculptor? Seriously, he should be doing THAT professionally. (Uncanny X-Men #219)

William Drake: a jerk then, a jerk now. (Uncanny X-Men #219)

There is no rage like the rage of a man quietly spooning mashed potatoes onto plates. (Uncanny X-Men #219)

HE’S SO AWFUL. (Uncanny X-Men #219)

Aw, these kids. (Uncanny X-Men #219)

Meanwhile, in Hawk Talk! (Uncanny X-Men #219)

Planes are a Summers family tradition; as, apparently, is crashing them. (X-Men #39)

He’s a good kid. (X-Men #39)

A good kid with a good cap. (X-Men #39)

Weirdly, the heart just sort of hovers around outside the boathouse, and nobody can figure out how to make it go away. (X-Men #39)

See what we mean about the difference the right artist makes to Adam X (X-Men #39)

Man, I just want Philip and Deborah to adopt him and basically be the Kents. (X-Men #39)

Y’know what? Sure. Why not? (X-Men #39)

He came back! (X-Men #39)

HE’S SUCH A GOOD KID. (X-Men #39)

NEXT EPISODE: Still not technically Legion Quest!

LINKS & FURTHER DELIGHTS:

When not making our endless nonsense sound good, producer Matt Hunter makes really excellent music, and you should go listen to some!
Jay does not actually write things on hackertyper.com, but he wishes he could.
We covered Rogue’s solo series in Episode 245 – Natural Causes.
This is the plane Philip flew in WWII, if that’s your kind of thing.

282 – The Tide Takes the Castle

January 26, 2020 Jay 7 comments

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In which the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning should really be the setting of a stoner comedy; Garrabed Bashur’s brain is probably 90% porn by now; the tide always takes the castle; William Drake remains terrible; Adam X the X-Treme deserved better; Jay pitches a series; disability is not a boolean and exclusively medically-defined state; and we are all about some weird X-Men tie-in products.

X-PLAINED:

Mariko Yoshida in the afterlife
Moon Talk
Some upcoming X-books
X-Men #38-39
Uncanny X-Men #319
Many unhealthy coping mechanisms
Sinister foreshadowing
Fancy hair
Commcast (Garabed Bashur)
Hawk sex
An exceptionally resonant callback
Intersectional bigotry
The domestic dynamics of the Drake household
The remarkably poignant return of Adam X the X-Treme
The opposite of a Jack London story
An unlikely intergenerational frienship
A novel use of a novel superpower
Mutation as and intersecting with disability
X-Men tie-in products we’d like to see

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor fills in!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 275 – End of the Summer

December 1, 2019 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

HI, PROSH. (X-Force #39)

Look at this charming weirdo. (X-Force #39)

You see what I mean about the frolicking? (X-Force #39)

Damn skippy! (X-Force #39)

Well, that can’t be good. (X-Force #39)

I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING (X-Force #39)

This whole issue has a very Looney Toons vibe. (X-Factor #107)

It’s good that they can find common ground. (X-Factor #107)

Gravity: she’s a harsh mistress. (X-Factor #107)

Again: I really love the way the art here leans into Strong Guy’s inherent cartoonishness. (X-Factor #107)

Ouch. (X-Factor #107)

That cover! (Uncanny X-Men #318)

The choker really does seem to have an extra layer of symbolism, especially considering the color vs. the rest of her outfit. (Uncanny X-Men #318)

You tried, buddy. (Uncanny X-Men #318)

Serious X-Terminators vibes, right? (Uncanny X-Men #318)

“But, y’know, good luck with that.” (Uncanny X-Men #318)

She’s not wrong, Warren. (Uncanny X-Men #318)

…it works, though. (Uncanny X-Men #318)

NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy!

LINKS & FURTHER CRYPTIDS:

Jay co-wrote a Thor novel! You can pre-order it here, if you are so inclined.
For more on Fred Dukes and confronting and subverting the fatphobic tropes around his characterization, listen to Episode 240 – Live at ECCC, feat. Vita Ayala, Seanan McGuire, & Leah Williams!
“End of the Summer” is a really good song.

275 – End of the Summer

December 1, 2019 Jay 9 comments

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In which Professor is too cool for the Phalanx; fatphobia is significantly more dangerous than Fred Dukes; Strong Guy catches a plane; Emma Frost will not let you coast; Jubilee says goodbye to the X-Men; and it’s probably for the best that we have avoided corporate advertisers.

X-PLAINED:

Mr. M
Thor: Metal Gods
Ship (more) (again)
The Phalanx vs. the Borg
Several cover homages
X-Force #39
X-Factor #107
Uncanny X-Men #318
Prosh
The myriad delights of embodiment
A complex theory about Leprechauns
Benefits of single-issue stories
Strong Guy vs. the Blob
Strong Guy vs. Gravity
Strong Guy vs. an airplane
Strong Guy vs. biology
Several explosions
The kids of Generation X
Deluxe-format comics
The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning
Goodbyes
Dazzler’s relative immortality
Jay’s X-Men Happy Meal Toy wish list
How to make a page-accurate Warlock toy

NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!