Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Captain Britain

As Mentioned in Episode 256 – Mullets of Time and Space

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Always aspire to a higher level of time paradox! (Excalibur #75)
How much extra creepiness does this already creepy scene get from the bolding of “his”? (Excalibur #75)
It’s his girlfriend. He called and asked her to come over. There is literally no reason that this should be so mysterious and pseudo-suspenseful. (Excalibur #75)
You do you, Amanda. (Excalibur #75)
PITCH: “What if only Captain Britain’s arms had returned from the timestream?” (Excalibur #75)
If you need me, I will be over here having FEELINGS about the lack of official acknowledgement of this relationship. (Excalibur #75)
“I was going to have some really dubious facial hair.” (Excalibur #75)
This better be worth it. (Excalibur #75)
[Ron Howard narrator voice] It was not worth it. (Excalibur #75)
GET IT? GET IT? GET IT? (Excalibur #75)
I hope you’re happy in the life you’ve chosen for yourself. (Excalibur #76)
“I mean, for some value of the term.” (Excalibur #76)
Well, that’s portentous. (Excalibur #76)
This is UNQUESTIONABLY the face of a man who has attempted to eat a toaster, a tube of lipstick, and several telephones. (Excalibur #76)
Nightcrawler, in his moppet days. (Excalibur #76)
I don’t understand D’Spayre’s torso muscles; and, frankly, I don’t care to. (Excalibur #76)
SEE WHAT I MEAN?! (Excalibur #77)
D’Spayre’s only weaknesses are joy and, by remarkable coincidence, children named Amil. (Excalibur #77)
WHAT?! (Excalibur #77)
The cutest pin-up. (Excalibur #77)
NEXT EPISODE: The adventures of Rachel Summers in the 37th Century!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING:

256 – Mullets of Time and Space

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which you raised a lot of money for Trans Lifeline; we continue to miss Alan Davis; Rory Campbell should not be narrating a climactic event; Daytripper needs to dial up her eldritch patter; the universe is dubiously self-correcting; Britannic is not nearly weird enough; and we have ongoing concerns about the anatomy of incarnate concepts.

X-PLAINED:

  • The X-Men of Earth-77995
  • Excalibur #75-77
  • Daytripper
  • A somewhat pointless sacrifice
  • Rough times in the timestream
  • Britannic
  • X-theology
  • D’Spayre’s butt
  • The rest of D’Spayre
  • Margali Szardos
  • The blood-brain barrier
  • Acrobatic flirtation
  • The Winding Way
  • Stark emptiness
  • A shocking possible resurrection
  • Major X
  • Essential characters

NEXT EPISODE: The Adventures of Rachel Summers in the 37th Century!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 236 – Baggage of Traumas Past

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
THAT’S the image I always remember from this scene. (Wolverine #75)
The inside of Wolverine’s mind is surprisingly derivative. (Wolverine #75)
Throes of the Phoenix Saga… Wolverine #75)
Scott is clearly with me on this reading. (Wolverine #75)
There are a lot of people who would have made more sense than Illyana here. (Wolverine #75)
IN THIS HOUSE WE STAN JEAN GREY. (Wolverine #75)
Aw. (Wolverine #75)
That. Sound. Effect. (Wolverine #75)
One very good day to frame a conversation. (Wolverine #75)
I hate it when I get extra body parts via retcon. (Wolverine #75)
Use as you see fit. (Wolverine #75)
And then, everything got awkward. (Excalibur #71)
How you know something big is going on and/or your sales are flagging. (Excalibur #71)
Professor Xavier is a JERK. (Excalibur #71)
Ouch. (Excalibur #71)
Meanwhile in the B-Plot… (Excalibur #71)
AW. (Excalibur #71)
Aw, man, my heart. (Excalibur #71)
WELL THAT WAS A SURPRISE. (Excalibur #71)
Aw, Piotr. I’d like to say that it gets better for him from here, but… (Excalibur #71)
Has anyone ever rocked a blue-and-gold Phoenix costume? It’s not half bad! (Excalibur #71)
NEXT EPISODE: Time to get X-TREME!

LINKS & FURTHER CLONES:

236 – Baggage of Traumas Past (Fatal Attractions, Part 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Decimation was kind of sketchy; you should definitely come see us in Seattle; Wolverine has a rough day; Colossus has yet another rough day; Excalibur plans for the future; and Fatal Attractions comes to a close.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Professor X got his groove and/or powers back
  • Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con
  • Wolverine #75
  • Excalibur #71
  • Psychic trauma
  • High-stakes references
  • The personal Ragnarok of a shattered soul
  • A really effective sound effect
  • The first day of the rest of Logan’s life
  • Butterflies of the Xavier School
  • Muir Island’s psychiatric ward
  • Medical consent
  • The worst bar, probably
  • Professorial disambiguation
  • What Micromax and Kyluun are probably definitely up to
  • Several variably awkward Grey-Summers family reunions
  • A betrayal
  • Amelia Voght
  • Unuscione
  • Katu
  • The future of Excalibur
  • Proactive superheroism
  • How not to make a White Russian
  • Shadowcat’s recovery post-Mutant Massacre
  • Our etymological destinies

NEXT EPISODE: It’s time to get X-TREME!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 232 – Careful With That Axe, Cerise

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
…Okay. then. (Excalibur #68)
“Now, do you want new handlebars, or should I just go ahead and go back to my lamp?” (Excalibur #68)
HI, STARJAMMERS! (Excalibur #68)
And that’s why you always leave a note. (Excalibur #69)
Oh, c’mon. I know you’re evil and bloodthirsty, but shooting corpses is just gratuitous. (Excalibur #69)
Sigh. (Excalibur #69)
Well, that works. (Excalibur #69)
I love this person. (Excalibur #69)
Fang! But not that Fang! A different Fang! (Excalibur #69)
Aw, these two. (Excalibur #70)
Awk-ward. (Excalibur #70)
The saddest staring contest. (Excalibur #70)
This seems legally dubious, but okay. (Excalibur #70)
Cerise X-Plains war crimes. (Excalibur #70)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Men Unlimited!

LINKS & FURTHER ANECDOTES

232 – Careful With That Axe, Cerise

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we’re still not over Into the Spider-Verse; Excalibur becomes an official X-book; Feron tries to help; Butts are fundamental; we care about the weird stuff; threats are unnecessary; and we were all always already Erik the Red.

X-PLAINED:

  • Several characters’ Earth-65 counterparts
  • The X-Office
  • Judging people for not being Alan Davis
  • Excalibur #68-70
  • A slippery story title
  • The unceremonious disappearance of Captain Britain
  • Mullets of space and time
  • Angst-ridden super-types, all of whom are morbidly obsessed with death
  • The other war criminal in Excalibur
  • Fashion trends of the Shi’ar Empire
  • Krag
  • Important conversations to have with your significant other
  • A sadness staredown
  • Cerise’s actual secret origins
  • A fairly poetic life sentence
  • The cleverest fights
  • Our 2019 Convention Schedule
  • How to get Jay & Miles at your local convention

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men Unlimited!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 231 – Life Bites

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I feel like this cover is generally a good metaphor for the 1993 Marvel annuals. (X-Factor Annual #8)
Just once, I want this setup to turn out to be a red herring. (X-Factor Annual #8)
Random is either time displaced or the world’s most precocious gamete. (X-Factor Annual #8)
And that’s why you always leave a note! (X-Factor Annual #8)
Remember that time Strong Guy called out casual ableism and it was AWESOME? (X-Factor Annual #8)
Well, that was an unexpected turn. (X-Factor Annual #8)
The real question is how many of them summon him in order to make fun of his name. (X-Factor Annual #8)
For some value of “deadly,” at least. (X-Factor Annual #8)
Aw, Guido. (X-Factor Annual #8)
Good dog. (X-Factor Annual #8)
Teleports more than walks, really. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
“Honestly, he really has no idea what the hell he’s doing.” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
They even have their own entrance music. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
Okay. This looks bad. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
Grey-Summers problems. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
This seems pretty fundamentally unfair. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
You’re not wrong. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
OH, SNAP. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
He’ll be okay. Kind of. Eventually. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
“By the way, has anyone ever told you that you have a crayon name? Because you totally have a crayon name. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
Yep. (Excalibur Annual #1)
Kitty X-Plains your dreams. (Excalibur Annual #1)
When will Excalibur learn that nothing good ever comes from hanging out with wizards. (Excalibur Annual #1)
Nothing good… except for THIS DUDE! (Excalibur Annual #1)
This is Captain Britain’s M.O. in a nutshell. (Excalibur Annual #1)
“Guys, we’re playing Spelljammer now.” (Excalibur Annual #1)
Meanwhile, with Technet. (Excalibur Annual #1)
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur goes to space!

LINKS & OTHER AMENITIES:

You can make your own Sienna Blaze lipstick!

While it’s setting, why not read more about the 1993 Marvel annuals and Evan Skolnick’s D&D campaign!

Or you could watch The Gamers and develop a deeper understanding of Jay’s joke about Captain Britain at the gaming table.

And there’s always Episode 21 – Kurt Busiek at the Coffee-a-Go-Go, where we delve deep into the wonders of Metoxo the Lava Man!

231 – Life Bites

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which DC is out of our bailiwick; Random gets around; someone finally makes an explicit reference to disability politics; death has not improved the Chalkers; Strong Guy can’t catch a break; we’re all whole other people; Sienna Blaze has a crayon name; we totally want to play D&D with Evan Skolnick; a trading card does not a memorable character make; and we are 100% here for the mutant episode of Sesame Street.

  • X-PLAINED:
  • What happened to Fred Duncan
  • Beastwriting
  • Marvel’s 1993 Annuals
  • The speculator boom
  • X-Factor Annual #8
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #17
  • Excalibur Annual #1
  • Charlie Ronalds (Charon) and his issues
  • A protracted Batman reference
  • How to string pearls
  • A dubious twist on the danger room
  • The pure joy of a child, but twisted and distorted like a shredded butterfly
  • Cloot (Satannish)
  • Howling Mad, by Peter David
  • The greatest enemies of X-Factor (but not really)
  • Cruel and arbitrary moralizing
  • The other X-Cutioner (Carl Denti)
  • A protracted illusion
  • The Amazing Icemaster
  • Metacommentary
  • An accidental trap
  • The death of Jason Wyngarde (Mastermind)
  • Resolution versus forgiveness
  • The other first appearance of Sienna Blaze
  • More wizard stuff
  • Khaos
  • Khaos & Gritty 4 Lyfe
  • Ghath
  • Irth
  • Mutants on Sesame Street
  • Cycling in and out of comics

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur goes to space!

CORRECTION: Chris Claremont did not in fact write Dragonlance comics.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

224 – Fix the Future

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Alan Davis performs his pièce de résistance; the personification of Death is surprisingly supportive; Rachel Summers is the One True Phoenix; Kitty Pryde goes full ’90s; syntax saves the world; and the first Excalibur series should really have ended with #67.

X-PLAINED:

  • Origins of Phoenix mythology
  • Excalibur #61-67
  • The Phoenix Force (more) (again)
  • Rachel Summers (more) (again)
  • Earth-811 (more) (again)
  • Phoenix vs. Galactus
  • A pep talk from Death
  • The One True Phoenix
  • The dark, distant future of 2013
  • The dark, even more distant future of 2015
  • The extremely complicated future of Kate Pryde
  • Rory Campbell / Ahab
  • What may or may not be Ahab’s theme song
  • Moby Dick, kind of
  • That one time Widget was a car
  • Resistance Coordination Executive
  • Dark Angel
  • Killpower
  • Albion
  • Grace
  • Tangerine
  • Arthur
  • An Excalibur #54 callback
  • Excalibur (the gun)
  • Kitty’s new image
  • How to hack the robot apocalypse
  • Saved by the Bell: The College Years
  • Where Excalibur should have ended
  • Tactical use of Magneto’s hat
  • Anti-assimilation stories in X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: The Passion of Butter Rum (feat. Austin Gorton)

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 220 – On Your Bike

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Who wore it better? (Excalibur #61)
I’m pretty sure nobody actually cares about Micromax; but, whatever. (Excalibur #61)
Widget, stop that immediately. (Excalibur #61)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (Excalibur #61)
If there’s anything this series has taught us, it’s never to trust a man named Nigel. (Excalibur #62)
In case you’re wondering, most of this visual companion is going to be pictures of cool-looking Warpies. (Excalibur #62)
No, seriously. (Excalibur #62)
Aw, Beetroot. (Excalibur #62)
This poor kid. (Excalibur #62)
*Snerk* (Excalibur #62)
WARPIES, THO (Excalibur #63)
Aw. (Excalibur #63)
What’s that you say? More Warpies? WE’VE GOT YOUR BACK! (Excalibur #63)
I’m not even going to bother captioning these. You know the drill. (Excalibur #63)
(Excalibur #63)
(Excalibur #63)
Widget and the amazing technicolor future genocide by giant r–well, that took a bit of a turn. (Excalibur #64)
PRO TIP: If you stare long enough at your friends and neighbors’ faces without blinking, they will also do this eventually. (Excalibur #65)
Rowr. (Excalibur #65)
“Well, that can’t be good.” (Excalibur #65)
Ouch, dang. (Excalibur #65)
Aw, Oak. You’re a good dude. (Excalibur #65)
And that, as they say, is that. For now. (Excalibur #65)
NEXT EPISODE: Space Fight!

LINKS & FURTHER DUBIOUS LIFE CHOICES: