In which the M-Plate Saga continues; Jay gets into the spirit of the day; we briefly give up on our primary mission; the story is coordinated if not coherent; Miles is not allowed to continuity-shame about Tolkein; Gaia is extra chill; Dirt Nap discovers altruism; and Jubilee should absolutely not have eaten that.
X-PLAINED:
Vampires vs. Marrow (again)
Whether Marrow is a mutant
Drugs
X-Plaining the inexplicable
Generation X #37-39
M-Plate (more) (again)
A Boojum
How to correctly identify a snark
The Universal Amalgamator (more) (again)
A door
Moria, kind of, I guess?
Mysterious topiary
An equally mysterious train
The Citadel of the Universal Amalgamator
Gaia
How to make a deal with a Token
Orange milk
A network of interdimensional water closets
The Bill the Pony Effect
An attempted murder
Monet vs. Northstar
Characters we’d like to see come out of the subtext
NEXT EPISODE: The Angry Claremontean Narrator Returns
CORRECTION: Miles said that the previous episode was #410. This episode is in fact #410; the previous episode is #409.
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
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In which we spend too long trying to place a time-travel miniseries in continuity, Al Kennedy does us a solid, Bernard Chang draws some excellent New Mutants young and old, Al Ewing x-plains X-Men: Red, Forearm and Random play Nintendo, and we reveal the winners of The Ninth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
I don’t remember Thunderbird having that many muscles or, y’know, being white. (X-Calibre #1)
“Sure thing! That’s BLAMM with two Ms?” (X-Calibre #2)
Aw, buddy. (X-Calibre #2)
But shouldn’t that be Rusty Collins’s icon? (X-Calibre #2)
…well, shit. (X-Calibre #2)
Almost our Kurt, and very much not our Kurt. (X-Calibre #2)
OH HELL YEAH (X-Calibre #3)
TFW Magneto forces you to visit your One Big Ex’s intentional community. (X-Calibre #3)
They have fun. (That is a lie. They do not have fun.) (X-Calibre #3)
Oh, come on. (X-Calibre #3)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (X-Calibre #4)
Not AGAIN. (X-Calibre #4)
Welcome to the Age of Apocalypse!
NEXT EPISODE: these goofs, in space
LINKS & FURTHER ALLUSIONS
That really depressing historical anecdote about ballast tanks came courtesy of friend of the show Joe Streckert, of the Weird History Podcast. Thanks, Joe!
In which a whole lot of things burn; Nightcrawler gets gritty; it’s hard to be Dead Man Wade; Apocalypse’s IT department has some explaining to do; Mystique is the most mom of all moms; Doug Ramsey dies (again); and Jay will fight anyone who says comics can’t be “real” literature.
X-PLAINED:
Damask
X-Calibre #1-4
Switchback
Cain Marko of Earth-295
Avalon
Destiny of Earth-295
Nightcrawler of Earth-295
Ghost Dance (actual)
Ghost Dance (fictional)
John Proudstar of Earth-295
The Infernal Gallop vs. the Infernal Galop
Moonstar of Earth-295
Dead Man Wade
The Pale Riders
Videoconferencing software of Earth-295
The Excalibur
Walter Newell
Callisto of Earth-295
A lot of murders
A really dark historical precedent
Parenthood
Death by existential crisis
The worst plan
Variations on the death of Doug Ramsey
Geography of the Age of Apocalypse
The rest of the Marvel books during the Age of Apocalypse
Jay vs. Western canon
NEXT EPISODE: Gambit and the X-Ternals
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Chris Eddleman joins us for a close look at House of X and Powers of X; Doug Ramsey is highly relevant; resurrection is problematic in a universe with a documented afterlife; there is no reasonable in-continuity justification for the lack of trans Marvel characters; and your OT3 is canon.
X-PLAINED:
The Phalanx (more) (again) (retconned)
House of X
Powers of X
Krakoa (more) (again) (retconned)
Moira MacTaggert (retconned)
Bar Sinister
Sinister Secrets
Portentous red shoes
The Man-Machine Ascendancy
Chimeras
North
Cardinal
Rasputin
Homo Novissima
Transhumanism in the Marvel Universe
The metaphysics of Krakoan resurrection
The Five
The true nature of Goldballs’ powers
Trans representation and its absence
Retroactive foreshadowing
NEXT EPISODE: Still not quite Generation X
CORRECTION: The story Jay referred to as “Everything Burns” is in fact titled “Time Runs Out,” although a good many things do burn over its course.
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Back to the Future made time travel seem like so much more fun. (Excalibur #81)
I love Christmas traditions! Red and green outfits, walks on the beach, having the lighthouse that was destroyed in a climactic multiversal event suddenly exist again for no good reason… (Excalibur #81)
I kind of love these weirdos. (Excalibur #81)
It’s cool, Douglock, Jay doesn’t recognize them either. (Excalibur #81)
Comedy gold. (Their choice of seating helps too.) (Excalibur #81)
Charles and Moira: best exes. (Excalibur #81)
Seriously, best exes. (Excalibur #81)
“For me, it’s always like this.” (Excalibur Annual #2)
“-and he looks faaaaabulous!” (Excalibur Annual #2)
Jamie Braddock: terrible from the start. (Excalibur Annual #2)
There! Fixed! Take that, psychology! (Excalibur Annual #2)
“Sorry, Amanda – spooling looked so cool we had to do it again, and we drew your name from the hat.” (Excalibur Annual #2)
Cons: spooling nightmares and crashing planes. Pro: that plane is so spacious! (Excalibur Annual #2)
“Until next time, boils and ghouls – pleasant screams!” (Excalibur Annual #2)
Either that picture is only symbolically there, or Kitty’s computer has real bad taste in image choice. (Excalibur Annual #2)
Kurt Wagner: best bro. (Excalibur Annual #2)
We didn’t talk about this in the episode, but the nerd in me really appreciates that this issue took two full pages to show us exactly how Proteus’s jail cell works. (Excalibur Annual #2)
In which Excalibur addresses a number of dangling plot threads, Britanic finally gets (somewhat) interesting, Kitty really wants Douglock to be Doug, Professor Xavier and Moira MacTaggert are the best exes, and the future has peculiar priorities.
X-PLAINED:
The life and death of Jamie Braddock
Excalibur #81
Douglock (more) (again)
Inker ambiguity
Britanic and Meggan’s Christmas costumes
The Excalibur Lighthouse’s sudden and inexplicable resurrection
Mo’ time travel, mo’ problems
20,097 rocks on a shoreline
Douglock: overly literal, dryly funny, or just plain thirsty?
The Emotional Beat of Damocles
The problems with crunch time
Princess Diana: Excalibur vs. X-Statix
Language and time
Excalibur Annual #2
Appropriately bombastic narration
Fashions of the future
Psychic psychotherapy
Sibling rivalry
Mr. Poo
Braddock moppets
Oversimplification vs. ambiguity
Spooling chambers (more)
Excalibur as an X-leftovers book
Air travel: leg-room vs. sorcerous doom
Hannibal King: vampire detective and/or penciler
Shadowcat and the pain of hope
A Doug’s-eye view of New Mutants
Emma Frost and aging
Dazzler and roller derby
NEXT EPISODE: Jay and Seanan McGuire talk villains!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
