Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

410 – Jubilee, Don’t Eat That

In which the M-Plate Saga continues; Jay gets into the spirit of the day; we briefly give up on our primary mission; the story is coordinated if not coherent; Miles is not allowed to continuity-shame about Tolkein; Gaia is extra chill; Dirt Nap discovers altruism; and Jubilee should absolutely not have eaten that.


  • Vampires vs. Marrow (again)
  • Whether Marrow is a mutant
  • Drugs
  • X-Plaining the inexplicable
  • Generation X #37-39
  • M-Plate (more) (again)
  • A Boojum
  • How to correctly identify a snark
  • The Universal Amalgamator (more) (again)
  • A door
  • Moria, kind of, I guess?
  • Mysterious topiary
  • An equally mysterious train
  • The Citadel of the Universal Amalgamator
  • Gaia
  • How to make a deal with a Token
  • Orange milk
  • A network of interdimensional water closets
  • The Bill the Pony Effect
  • An attempted murder
  • Monet vs. Northstar
  • Characters we’d like to see come out of the subtext

NEXT EPISODE: The Angry Claremontean Narrator Returns

CORRECTION: Miles said that the previous episode was #410. This episode is in fact #410; the previous episode is #409.

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  1. I’m going to have to read this arc, for the Tolkien references. Speaking of which, it’s ‘um actually’ time! You must have known *someone* would, that’s me.

    While I don’t remember any spiders in Moria, it’s easy to believe that there are some of the regular kind here and there. If they can sneak into my modern apartment, they can certainly find purchase in the OG fantasy dungeon.

    Tolkien names starting with C are actually pronounced with a K sound. Kirith Ungol. Keleborn. Kelebrian.

    The Silmarillion is a bit slow going, but I feel it’s worth the slog. Just… try to read the Turin chapter when you can handle something incredibly depressing and frustrating.

    Anyway, keep up the good work!

  2. The way Miles said “M-Plate wants to amalgamate” almost sounded like a sexual innuendo, which made me think Shinobi Shaw would use amalgamate as sex word when flirting.

    1. Also, I’m pretty sure M-Plate is a minor but chaotic reality warper and every single thing in this episode was their creation. That’s the only way anything makes sense.

      1. Even the stuff that happened before M Hyphen Plate (Who sounds like a particularly stuffy member of a firm of English solicitors) was formed/created?

    2. Amalgamate is related to sexy times you say?

      I mean, of course I knew that! I’m just happy there are so many others who have learned to do the sex.

  3. Apropos of nothing, is this the first time that the Post and the Visual Companion have different names?

    I think this story highlights a new possible title for the X-brand: “The IneXplicable X-Men” or possibly “Xtraneous X-Men”

    I adored The Hunting of the Snark, to the point I memorised chunks of it for fun at a weirdly young age.

    “Come sit round me men, while I tell you again,
    Of the five unmistakeable marks
    By which you may know, wheresoever you go,
    The warranted, genuine snarks.
    Let us take them in order: The first, it is taste
    Which is meagre and hollow, but crisp.
    Like a coat which is rather too tight at the waist,
    With a flavour of will’o’the’wisp”

    (Of course, Power Pack had been using the “Snark” name for years for the Zn’rx, but it’s a good name, so they can share.)

    I confess to not following this at ALL, but it’s good to know I’m in good company then. The notion that WC might stand for Warp Chamber, rather than Water Closet, will make me wonder about the next public conveneinces I walk past… Though my perceptions are perhaps warped by the fact that over here in the UK, we have a company called “TARDIS Hire”, that rents out blue portaloos for building sites and concerts etc which all look a lot like… well, you can probably guess the rest.

    And yeah, let’s see more general purpose queerness in the X-titles, Like Kate actually kiss a girl for more than a single panel two+ years ago! Sam and Berto hold hands!

    In terms of Doug and Warlock’s queerness, we’ve recently seen something interesting (if tragic, given the events), in “Legion of X”: Warlock calling Doug (and only Doug) “Selfsoulfriend” is a given, but in LoX we saw Doug saying to a scared Warlock “But you’re ME… you’re my SOUL”, I think is a first, that he also considers them to be fundamentally linked at the most basic levels and essentially two parts of the same whole.

    1. Whoops, good catch! The Hunting of the Snark was our second-place episode title. Fixed!

      I debated bringing up the recent tragic events around Doug and Warlock when answering that question, but I figured that spoiling folks who weren’t caught up wasn’t worth it when death (even potentially Krakoan-ressurrection-incompatible deaths like that one) still seems so very temporary in superhero comics. But yes: that line from LoX was kind of perfect. Oh, Spurrier.

  4. I’ve listened to these episodes twice now and I’m still not certain of what is supposed to be going on. I remember reading these as they came out and everyone was lost as to what was supposed to be going on. It is not one of Hama’s strongest stories.

    As to the Token; given the references and context, I’m wondering if Token is a bastardization of “Tolkein?” Possibly changed enough to avoid any complaints from lawyers. It might also explain why you can’t find it in any Google search. Or it could just be an extremely obscure reference. I certainly don’t recall ever coming across it in references to the Fair Folk.

  5. Is… there supposed to be an in-comic pronunciation difference between Emplate and M-Plate? How can the characters tell them apart when they’re spoken?

    The Universal Amalgamator sounds like a Dominion maker. I’m mildly surprised that Hickman didn’t work this obscure bit of continuity into HoXPoX, but well, he’s no Steve Orlando.

  6. On the page prior to Penance giving Dirt Nap the cheese there’s a picture of her opening up a metal lunch box and taking the cheese out of a sandwich.

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