Deathbird – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 295 – The Nuclear Naked

May 17, 2020 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Hey, ‘dere. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #1)

This, but with a hawk. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #1)

Seriously, why the visor? (Gambit and the X-Ternals #1)

He pulls this look off alarmingly well. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #1)

SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU IS HERE TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE (Gambit and the X-Ternals #1)

“Just a sec, I gotta go find the Power Glove.” (Gambit and the X-Ternals #1)

This torso is unacceptable. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #1)

In an homage, obviously. Dang, Jubes. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #2)

BUT, WAIT! THERE’S MORE! (Gambit and the X-Ternals #2)

“Just us, and a bunch of chickens. It got weird fast.” (Gambit and the X-Ternals #2)

Y E S (Gambit and the X-Ternals #2)

I maintain that everything is better if his name is pronounced “Jeff.” (Gambit and the X-Ternals #3)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (Gambit and the X-Ternals #3)

Jeff has no patience for events. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #3)

Oh, c’mon. I bet he’s got a ton of cool stolen stuff, too. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #3)

Welcome to the Hall of Tautology. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #4)

It’s okay, but it’s no X-Men #41… (Gambit and the X-Ternals #4)

Well, fuck. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #4)

The Nuclear Naked (reconstruction).

NEXT EPISODE: “Amazing” may be a bit of a stretch.

LINKS & FURTHER INVENTIONS:

Read the comments. No, seriously–they’re really interesting and hella civil.
Star Trek: Voyager was quite a show.

295 – The Nuclear Naked

May 17, 2020 Jay 18 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Google Podcasts | Spotify | Stitcher | RSS

In which this episode may or may not be a temporal aberration; Gambit is bad at marketing; Jubilee’s sixth birthday was probably worse than yours; Earth-295’s chronology doesn’t make that much more sense than 616’s; Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau wears this timeline well; Rictor makes a terrible Javert; Jubilee has no time for your makeouts; superheroes are basically preschoolers; there is only one Jahf; babies are bad at stealing; and Apocalypse is not a tactician.

X-PLAINED:

How Magneto got his own country
A numerical convergence
Earth-295
Gambit and the X-Ternals #1-4
X-Ternals
The human resistance
The Temple of Human Redress
A terrible way to celebrate your birthday
Lila Cheney of Earth-295
The Nuclear Naked
Super Doctor Astronaut (mermaid) Peter Corbeau of Earth-295
Julio Richter (Earth-295)
Mudir
Homage
Cross-timeline vocabulary
Cosmic peril
The state of the Shi’ar Empire in Earth-295
The Starjammers of Earth-295
Varyingly versatile energy absorption
Jahf
An exchange
Some fancy sewers
Guido Carosella’s devil’s bargains
Earth-295… IN SPACE
The nominal justification for Apocalypse’s society
Which Apocalypse is currently running around Earth-616

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk!

NEXT EPISODE: “Amazing” might be pushing it.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

196 – The Power Is Yours

May 6, 2018 Jay 17 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Google Podcasts | Spotify | Stitcher | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which space bugs break time; you may already be a member of Excalibur; Earth-616 remains somewhat baffled by basic telecommunications technology; you should absolutely not order monkeys from an ad in a comic book; Widget gets a new look; Excalibur gets a new logo; Merlin X-Plains everything; and Rachel gets in touch with her roots.

X-PLAINED:

The Timebroker
Excalibur #48-50
What “fair use” doesn’t mean
Penis bones, revisited
Feron
Prophylactic levitation
Several inaccurate flashbacks
Someone who is neither a Nazi nor Charles Xavier
Necrom (again)
The art of heroic exposition
Monastic population maintenance
Mail-order monkeys
Widget’s new look
Kylun’s mutant power
Several alternate Excaliburs
The True Secret Purpose of Excalibur
The new Excalibur logo
Fighting weird with weird
A whole lot of history
Phoenix vs. Anti-Phoenix
Some very epic thwarting
The end of an era
Alan Davis’s Excalibur
How we work alternate timelines into coverage
Bishop and Deathbird as a couple

NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure and Bloody Choices!

UPDATE: Apparently the dead mail-order monkeys were apocryphal, although we were able to dig up some fairly nightmarish accounts of live mail-order monkeys. …Yay?

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 165 – Pop Rocks

September 24, 2017 Jay 5 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Triple gatefold? That’s a lot of gatefold! (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Oh, man, the Starjammers are so cool, even when they’re evil alien duplicates. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

And that was the end of Wolverine, forever. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Not gonna lie: there are a LOT of splash pages and spreads in this visual companion. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

So many reasons, Banshee. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

I mean, technically Wolverine just won back her throne, but, whatever. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Look at all those fancy X-Men! (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Wolverine parties like a Robert E. Howard protagonist. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

I know this is supposed to be sinister, but it’s also kind of hilarious. (You gotta imagine the YOINK SFX in the second panel.) (Uncanny X-Men #275)

PROFESSOR XAVIER IS A JERK! (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Another two-page spread? DON’T MIND IF I DO! (Uncanny X-Men #276)

Pop rocks! (Uncanny X-Men #276)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Uncanny X-Men #276)

I want to watch this movie. (Uncanny X-Men #276)

No, but seriously: Professor Xavier is a jerk. (Uncanny X-Men #276)

Well, that got weird. Weirder. (Uncanny X-Men #276)

Star Trek reference! Take a drink! Wait, no, that’s not a podcast game, that’s just Jay’s reading game. (Uncanny X-Men #276)

Yep, it’s another two-page spread. Don’t blame us–blame Jim Lee! (Uncanny X-Men #277)

…well, that explains some things. (Uncanny X-Men #277)

Oh, snap! (Uncanny X-Men #277)

Ooh, callback! Very clever, Gambit. Kinda creepy, but, y’know, clever. (Uncanny X-Men #277)

Even when he’s a skrull, it’s pretty satisfying to watch Charles Xavier get punched. (Uncanny X-Men #277)

VAMP! (Uncanny X-Men #277)

NEXT EPISODE: Stealth at all times.

165 – Pop Rocks

September 24, 2017 Jay 41 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Google Podcasts | Spotify | Stitcher | RSS

In which Charles Xavier returns to the pages of Uncanny X-Men; Storm is out of our league forever; Miles would be a terrible president; Psylocke picks up the frequent-shower torch; everyone gets possessed; Gambit acts more Sinister than he is; and our NYCC panel is definitely on THURSDAY, not Friday.

X-PLAINED:

The Pantheon
Uncanny X-Men #275-277
Dinosaurs in space
A very impressive cover
Several kinds of manacle
Small children we’d like to see beat up Gladiator
Varying levels of Evil Charles Xavier
A nefarious plan
Double death
FailCat Logan
Two bad, beautiful babes with really big guns
Some excellent sound effects
Awesome space fights
Shopping with Deathbird
Mall vs. maul
X-archenemies

NEXT EPISODE: The Kings of Pain!

NOTE: Seriously, the NYCC Panel is on THURSDAY. Not Friday. THURSDAY. It’s official now.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 139 – Starjammed

December 19, 2016 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and coffee mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

Dave Cockrum should draw all the space pirates, always. (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)

Space plank! (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)

Meet Vam and Mer. They’re about to die. More. Again. (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)

“As a Summers, I recognize the value of an artfully tattered costume.” (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)

Professor X is a dick. (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)

The best planet. (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)

Seriously, though, Doki-Doki Universe is wonderful.

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)

These delightful scamps. (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)

Oh, hey, look! It’s the Starjammer! (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)

Remember that time the dethroned empress of the Shi’ar threw poop at her sister? Because that happened. (Spotlight on Starjammers #2)

‘Kay. (Spotlight on Starjammers #2)

Ron Howard voiceover: “It was not a brilliant idea.” (Spotlight on Starjammers #2)

They’re totally gonna do it! (Spotlight on Starjammers #2)

QUICK! PUNCH EACH OTHER FOR NO REAL REASON! (Spotlight on Starjammers #2)

O.o (Spotlight on Starjammers #2)

So, that happened. (Spotlight on Starjammers #2)

One more Dave Cockrum space-pirate fight, just because we can! (Spotlight on Starjammers #2)

NEXT EPISODE: Christmas with Cable, featuring Dennis Hopeless!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING:

We talked a lot about the Starjammers with Greg Rucka in Episode 7: Cyclops Has a Good Day!

For more ResurrXion talk, check out Jay & Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 107.

139 – Starjammed

December 19, 2016 Jay 27 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Google Podcasts | Spotify | Stitcher | RSS

In which Spotlight on Starjammers is basically a RPG module; Jay may or may not have developed superpowers; artfully tattered clothing is a Summers family tradition; the Starjammers kill a planet; Raza may or may not be super progressive; and Professor X dies (again).

X-PLAINED:

The T-Bomb
Spotlight on Starjammers #1-2
The Starjammers (more) (again)
Phlazers
Keel-hauling
The space plank
Phalkon
The Groff System
Vam & Mer
Cr’eee’s dubious past
Several really on-the-nose planets
Doki-Doki Universe
A critical comma
The expected endurance of the Starjammer
A Shi’ar imperial poop fight
Zenith
Many cameos
An entirely gratuitous superhero slugfest
Death Phoenix
Bald Phoenix
Several dropped plot threads
Our thoughts on ResurrXion
Creative teams vs. characters

NEXT EPISODE: Christmas with Cable (feat. Dennis Hopeless)!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 95 – Earthfall

February 8, 2016 Jay 4 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

TFW you forget a plotline for over a year and have to recap not only the original hook, but the entire context. (Uncanny X-Men #232)

If I had a dollar for every time this had happened when I was out camping… (Uncanny X-Men #232)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Uncanny X-Men #232)

That is definitely not how you perform CPR. (Uncanny X-Men #232)

A lot of our nightmares start like this. (Uncanny X-Men #232)

“Okay. This looks bad.” (Uncanny X-Men #233)

Nope. (Uncanny X-Men #233)

That’s… actually, that’s incredibly reasonable. (Uncanny X-Men #233)

How much do we love this cover? SO MUCH. (Uncanny X-Men #234)

That couple in the background are by far our favorite characters in this arc. (Uncanny X-Men #234)

And again. (Uncanny X-Men #234)

“So, meth, then?” (Uncanny X-Men #234)

Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men #232)

You know that thing where you have a really awful dream about someone you know, and you wake up really mad at them, and then you team up with demons and try to sacrifice a bunch of babies and turn New York into Hell? Yeah, me, too. (Uncanny X-Men #233)

In Madelyne’s defense, this really is a super fucked up dream. (Uncanny X-Men #233)

“She’s her old self again, but about six inches shorter.” (Uncanny X-Men #233)

There is literally nothing okay about what is going on here. (Uncanny X-Men #234)

Has anyone ever tried to reproduce this awesome manicure IRL? You should do that. (Uncanny X-Men #234)

The first official apparance of one of the worst villain costumes in X-Men. At least it’s memorable? (Uncanny X-Men #234)

Next Week: This asshole.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

For an introduction to the Brood (and one of the best Brood stories ever), listen to Episode 20 – The Brood They Carried.
For more on Hannah Conover, check out Left Unresolved – Do the X-Men Still Have a Frozen Lady in Their Freezer?, by Brian Cronin, over at CBR.
Here’s a pretty solid overview of the unfathomable clusterfuck of the direct market, from Heidi MacDonald at the Beat; including links to a number of other analyses from retailer and publisher perspectives.

95 – Earthfall

February 8, 2016 Jay 32 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Google Podcasts | Spotify | Stitcher | RSS

In which the X-Men finally follow up on a dropped plotline; you should probably not mess with abandoned star sharks; “Dawn of Blood” is a sometimes food; The Goblin Queen makes her first appearance; we debut a new podcast feature; and there may or may not be a frozen woman in the Xavier School basement.

X-PLAINED:

The Providian Order
Uncanny X-Men #232-234
The Brood (again)
Several ill-fated campers
Harry Palmer
The Brood as horror antagonists
Why John Doggett is the best X-Files agent
Psylocke’s armor
Why Nestor Carbonell should play Gambit
Some deeply dubious codenames
Red Bee
Michael the Bee
Reverend William Conover and his Glory Day Crusade
The Mile High Diner
The strange case of Hannah Conover
One hell of a nightmare
A deal with a devil
InfernoWatch
The direct market
Ways to approach an endless serial

INFERNO WATCH:

Madelyne meets and strikes a deal with S’ym
First appearance of the Goblin Queen costume

NEXT EPISODE: Evolutionary War

CORRECTION: In this episode, Jay recalled the direct market as having been conceived in significant part by Carol Kalish. It was, in fact, the brainchild of Phil Seuling.

You can find a visual companion to this episode–and links to recommended reading–on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 17 – The Island of Dr. Corbeau

August 3, 2014 Jay 22 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Is there a friendship equivalent to “we ‘ship it”? Because, that. (Uncanny X-Men #154)

And you think it’s a pain when your parents visit. (Uncanny X-Men #154)

Corsair, X-Plained. (Uncanny X-Men #154)

Cyclops: Not all that quick on the uptake. (Uncanny X-Men #154)

Remember when this happened and it was hilarious? (Uncanny X-Men #114)

Get used to it, kid. (Uncanny X-Men #154)

Roy and Phil are the new Harvey and Janet. (Uncanny X-Men #154)

That’s… pretty valid, actually. (Uncanny X-Men #154)

Corsair does a lot of X-Plaining this issue. (Uncanny X-Men #154)

In Cyclops’s defense, he did, in fact, have the worst childhood ever. (Uncanny X-Men #155)

This is basically how the Shi’ar say Hello. (Uncanny X-Men #155)

Never change, Kitty Pryde. (Uncanny X-Men #155)

The lady in the fuchsia coat is hardcore judging you, Corsair. (Uncanny X-Men #155)

The Brood’s arsenal includes a super rad op-art ray. (Uncanny X-Men #155)

‘Kay, then. (Uncanny X-Men #155)

Wolveine is hella into fighting with the Brood, which is good, because he’s gonna be doing a lot of that a couple arcs from now. (Uncanny X-Men #155)

Spoiler: He’s gonna be okay. (Uncanny X-Men #155)

REMEMBER THESE BADASSES? They’re back. And we love them. (Uncanny X-Men #156)

We weren’t kidding when we said Phil and Roy were the new Harvey and Janet. (Uncanny X-Men #156)

THE STARJAMMERS ARE SO RAD THAT WE CAN ONLY TALK ABOUT THEM IN ALL CAPS. (Uncanny X-Men #156)

Hepzibah demonstrates the proper way to interrupt a dramatic moment. P.S. REMEMBER WHEN WE SAID THE STARJAMMERS ARE FUCKING DELIGHTFUL? THE STARJAMMERS ARE FUCKING DELIGHTFUL, YOU GUYS. (Uncanny X-Men #156)

The Brood are dicks, man. (Uncanny X-Men #156)

It’s okay. He’ll be back. (Uncanny X-Men #157)

Yeah, we’re not sure what’s going on in that first outfit, either. (Uncanny X-Men #157)

Uncanny X-Men #157, in which Kitty Pryde saves the world with costumes. Like, seriously.

And then, for no apparent reason, she changes into a Peter Pan outfit. You do you, Kitty. You do you. (Uncanny X-Men #157)

Meanwhile, in Avengers Annual #10, it’s raining Marvels.

Fun fact: Jessica Drew is long-time buds with the X-Men. (Avengers Annual #10)

Well, that explains it. (Uncanny X-Men #158)

Rogue’s default villain M.O. was really, really creepy. (Avengers Annual #10)

REMEMBER HOW THAT HAPPENED AND NONE OF THE AVENGERS SAW ANY PROBLEM WITH IT? (Avengers Annual #10)

You know the runs that gymnasts do as the lead-up to really spectacular tumbling passes? This is Chris Claremont’s equivalent, only instead of doing a bunch of flips, he is going to call out some of the most bullshit writing of the previous year. (Avengers Annual #10)

STANDING. FUCKING. OVATION. That said, it’s pretty depressing that this came out in 1981 and still reads as a lot more progressive than the handling of sexual violence in a lot of current comics. (Avengers Annual #10)

The return of Dr. Peter Corbeau. (Uncanny X-Men #158)

I WONDER IF THIS WILL BECOME RELEVANT LATER. (Uncanny X-Men #158)

Senator Kelly: Still a jerk. (Uncanny X-Men #158)

“Hey, Alex, you know how all you wanted was a normal life? Yeah, I just dropped by to tell you our dad’s been alive for the last twenty years. And he’s a space pirate. And your hat looks stupid.” (Uncanny X-Men #158)