Tag: dick jokes

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Oh, hey, it’s another cover people will be riffing on until the end of time! They were flying fast and furious in these days. (X-Men #139)

This happens to us pretty regularly with college friends. (X-Men #139)

Shoulda listened to the Leprechauns, Kurt. (X-Men #139)

This isn’t plot-relevant, We just think Nightcrawler’s Scooby Doo moment is great. (X-Men #139)

The beginning of the end of Byrne on X-Men. (X-Men #140)

Storm vs. street harassment. (X-Men #140)

Storm is a somewhat possessive mama cat. (X-Men #140)

BERSERKER! (X-Men #140)

We’re really happy for you, and we’re gonna let you finish, but Daryl is the best Wendigo in comics. (B.P.R.D.: The Universal Machine #4)

Wolverine reaffirming his humanity by helping other characters find theirs remains a running motif. (X-Men #140)

Canadians, weigh in. Is this a real thing? Do your laws actually account for Wendigos? (X-Men #140)

For X-Men #141 and 142, see Episode 6, “Days of Future Whatever.”

This cover accurately reflects Rachel’s feelings about Christmas. (X-Men #143)

TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH, WOLVEIRNE. (X-Men #143)

Lee “Better Enjoy This Arc Because She’ll Never Be Written Very Well Again” Forrester. (X-Men #143)

“Not an Alien homage!” (X-Men #143)

The fact that he straight-up cheats at pool is a pretty legit charming Cyclops detail. (X-Men #144)

X-Men #144 is, structurally and thematically, a Creepy story. Still can’t believe this was CCA-compliant.

Outside of a few moments of the Dark Phoenix Saga, there’s probably no scene in X-Men that’s been redrawn as much as this one (but never retconned). (X-Men #144)

[Insert joke about Man-Thing and erections here.] (X-Men #144)

Aw. (X-Men #144)

Rachel and Doctor Doom are bros.

“This is why we can’t have nice things or tenure-track positions.” (X-Men #145)

AHAHAHAHWHAT (X-Men #145)

Toadworld. Think about that for a minute. (X-Men #145)

And thus began a long tradition of supervillains falling for Storm. (X-Men #145)

Well, that’ll end well. (X-Men #145)

Arcade! (X-Men #146)

Doom and Arcade have some fundamental differences over the proper execution of deathtraps. (X-Men #146)

Angel, you had ONE JOB. (X-Men #146)

Storm’s secondary mutation is weaponized claustrophobia. (X-Men #146)

Seriously. Don’t piss off Storm. (X-Men #146)

Fuckin’ Murderworld, man. (X-Men #146)

She is, of course, a robot, because if there’s anything Arcade and Doom can bond over, it’s their mutual love of making robot duplicates of EVERYONE THEY HAVE EVER MET. (X-Men #146)

But not that Rogue. (X-Men #147)

Recap! (X-Men #147)

You can tell it’s bad news because she’s got special balloon borders. (X-Men #147)

Aw. (X-Men #147)

I like to imagine that both of them have, in fact, had worse first dates. (X-Men #147)

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The Death-Defying Doctor Mirage

Savage Wolverine #21

All Those Signature Moves We Listed Off (We’ll Do a Visual Directory Eventually, We Promise):

FASTBALL SPECIAL VARIATIONS:

• Fastball Special: Colossus throws Wolveine at something.
• Phaseball Special*: Someone throws Kitty through robots

OTHER MOVES:

• The Most Comics-Code-Adherent at What He Does*:  The thing where Wolverine has his claws out during a fight but doesn’t cut anyone.
• Cue-ball Special*: The thing where Cyclops takes out like six bad guys with ricochets from one optic blast.
• Slippery Slope*: The thing where Iceman tries to be awesome and ends up beating up his teammates by accident.
• Blue-Plate Special Special*: The thing where an X-man uses their powers to prepare lunch.
• The thing where Kitty wrecks everything by accident phasing through it.
• The thing where everyone switches opponents mid-fight, and that’s what turns the tide.
• The thing where Nightcrawler is awfully dashing about beating people up.
• The thing where Storm’s claustrophobia saves the day.
• The thing where Angel just dodges shit for like an hour instead of participating in the fight.
• The thing where Xavier fakes his own death.
• The thing where Cypher and/or Kitty and/or Illyana and/or Wolverine do the “Ain’t I a stinker?” thing from the control booth of the Danger Room.
• The thing where Cyclops uses his optic blasts to slow or stop inertia or a fall.
• The thing where Storm has no powers and STILL kicks someone’s ass into next week.
• The thing where Colossus and Wolverine throw themselves at Magneto every goddamn time despite being made of metal.

*We made these names up. They are not official canon, but we live in hope.