Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 365 – A Whole Year of This Nonsense

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
It sure is 1996. (X-Force/Cable Annual 1996)
Hi, Pulse! (X-Force/Cable Annual 1996)
I mean, wouldn’t you? (X-Force/Cable Annual 1996)
THAT’S NOT HOW TORSOS WORK. (X-Force/Cable Annual 1996)
Seriously, what is Cyclops attached to? (X-Men Unlimited #13)
Where’s an editorial footnote when you need one? (X-Men Unlimited #13)
The cover of our new metal album! (X-Men Unlimited #13)
No real episode context; I just think this explosion looks really cool. (X-Men Unlimited #13)
How they celebrate in Junction, NY. (X-Men Unlimited #13)
NEXT EPISODE: Beast and/or Karma!

365 – A Whole Year of This Nonsense

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which you can now listen to a unique episode of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men every day for a year; Shi’ar tech support leaves something to be desired; Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau does not appear in a story; it’s Deathbird, not Dueprocessbird; Zenn-La gets destroyed a lot; and we shall never speak of this incident again.

X-PLAINED:

  • Where babies come from
  • The Shi’ar (again)
  • Cable/X-Force Annual 1996
  • X-Men Unlimited #13
  • Organs
  • Shi’ar ship names
  • Pulse
  • Unconventional use of the Danger Room
  • Butt-first framing
  • Interplanetary extradition
  • The word “contemplative”
  • Binary (again)
  • More Shi’ar ship names
  • Zenn-La
  • Silver Surfer (Norrin Radd)
  • The Inciters
  • A giant metal space skull
  • Junction, NY
  • A metaphor for America
  • Marie Cavendish
  • Mutants with synthetics-based powers
  • Literary intersections

NEXT EPISODE: Beast!

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As Mentioned in Episode 360 – Charging Forward

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Such a promising cover. SIGH. (X-Force #59)
Cable, this is not a great way to deal with youth in crisis. (X-Force #59)
YOU SEE IT, TOO, RIGHT? (X-Force #59)
And again: That is NOT what the bottom of this ship would look like. (X-Force #59)
Oh, hey, these guys. It’s been a minute. (X-Force #59)
SPEAKING OF WHICH! (X-Force #59)
If you get it, you get it. (X-Force #60)
That this is happening in the Mojoverse somehow makes it marginally less weird. (X-Force #60)
That’s what he always sleeps in. (X-Force #60)
Dazzler!
CHARGING BOLDLY TOWARD THE VIEWER! (X-Force #60)
Meanwhile in an entirely different art style… (X-Force #61)
Sure, why not? (X-Force #61)
NEXT EPISODE: These miscreants.

 

360 – Charging Forward

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which history gets rewritten (again); Shatterstar definitely knows how to dance; and everyone gets extremely grumpy about Loeb’s final X-Force arc.

X-PLAINED:

  • What happened to Reverend Craig
  • X-Force (again)
  • The Mojoverse (again)
  • X-Force #59-61
  • Shatterstar vs. Benjamin Russell
  • The Weisman Institute for the Criminally Insane (again)
  • Subtext
  • Help, sort of
  • The dick ship
  • Darth Vader’s penis or lack thereof
  • The difference between Jay and Miles
  • Violently decompressed storytelling
  • Gog and Gog’n’Magog (again)
  • Prior (or possibly future) events in the rebellion
  • Longshot outside his miniseries
  • Longshot and Shatterstar
  • TV Guide
  • Ineffective brainwashing
  • A large number of continuity errors
  • Mojo V
  • Genre hopping
  • A stylistic shift
  • A body swap
  • Benjamin Russell vs. the Leprechauns
  • Personally resonant comics
  • Wolverine’s sense of smell

NEXT EPISODE: Sabretooth & Mystique!

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As Mentioned in Episode 351 – His Mighty Hand

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
At least his astral form also works out. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
The size difference is endlessly amusing. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
You done good, Gambit. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
For those of you who collect reaction images. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
Seriously–PERFECT CYLINDER. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
It always seems weird to me that when Cable’s arm is like that it doesn’t seem to cause any mobility or balance issues. (Cable #35)
They’ll team up, but, damnit, they won’t enjoy it. (Cable #35)
Meanwhile at your neighborhood roller rink… (Cable #35)
He’s like a tiny pet Franklin getting walked around Manhattan! (Cable #35)
SO THERE, ONSLAUGHT. (Cable #35)
That throne is so creepy and gross and awesome. (X-Man #19)
Remember the Age of Apocalypse? Nate does! (X-Man #19)
Aw, kiddo. (X-Factor #58)
They’re all very neatly arranged, at least. (X-Factor #58)
Tabitha really needs some healthier coping mechanisms. (X-Factor #58)
AW, KIDDO. (X-Factor #58)
Please google “highland cattle” immediately and join me in giggling. (X-Factor #58)
Smelling the vegetation… and possibly hiding a pot of gold. (X-Factor #58)
Domino’s fantasies do not allow for teenage intrusion, TYVM. (X-Factor #58)
NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, still, obviously.

351 – His Mighty Hand

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we enter Phase 2 of Onslaught; Cable is a man of many purposes; Onslaught gets a makeover; Intentions only matter if you’re Longshot; and Sue Richards will pull over this crossover event right now if you don’t behave.

X-PLAINED:

  • Red Onslaught
  • Onslaught Phase 1
  • Uncanny X-Men #336
  • Cable #35
  • X-Man #19
  • X-Force #58
  • A large number of team-ups
  • Onslaught, but make it a seder
  • Watcher undercarriage
  • Onslaught’s second form
  • Cable and Apocalypse vs. Onslaught
  • Nate Grey vs. Sinister
  • A trap
  • Several flashbacks and fantasies
  • Symbolic roles within X-Force
  • What Banshee’s sonic scream sounds like
  • Pecs as envisioned by Franklin Richards

NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, of course.

Check out the visual companion to this post on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 349 – Onslaught Secret Weapon Force Power Slammers

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Ahh, it’ll be fine. (Cable #34)
Sure, why not? (Cable #34)
I kind of wish he’d gotten to keep his massive fucked up arm. (Cable #34)
Start your red-string maps here. (Incredible Hulk #444)
GIANT SCREAMING ROCK! (Incredible Hulk #444)
SURE, WHY NOT? (Incredible Hulk #444)
Hulk just want to be left alone. (Incredible Hulk #444)
Sinister certainly knows how to make an entrance. (X-Man #18)
Aw, Caliban. (X-Force #57)
And there goes another Xavier school! (X-Force #57)
It’s no Bogdanove, but it’ll do. (X-Force #57)
I love that Onslaught’s happening and Sinister is just playing out this whole entire other story. (X-Force #57)
NEXT EPISODE: Hawk talk! NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught continues to continue.

LINKS & FURTHER COMPLICATIONS

349 – Onslaught Secret Weapon Force Power Slammers

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Google Podcasts | Spotify | Stitcher | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Onslaught nomenclature has some consistency issues; electricity is the new magnetism; Nate Grey mopes; Sinister doesn’t care about your guns; the Xavier mansion blows up (again); and we track down an elusive Sentinel.

X-PLAINED

  • Doctor Doom’s absolutely irrelevant Onslaught encounter
  • Cable #34
  • Incredible Hulk #444
  • X-Man #18
  • X-Force #57
  • Onslaught Phases vs. Impacts
  • Ozymandias (more) (again)
  • Post (more) (again)
  • Cable’s ridiculous motorcycle
  • Several Hulks
  • Behemoth
  • Cable/Storm
  • The Betty Conspiracy
  • Rocks that yell
  • Alpacalypse
  • Multiversal disambiguation
  • Some unlikely sound effects
  • An anti-Sinister failsafe
  • A self-destruct system
  • Warpath and Risque
  • A hug
  • A very specific Sentinel
  • Coming out in adulthood

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Somehow We Have Made 350 of These (and also more Onslaught)

Check out the visual companion to this post on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 343 – The Water Cooler of Violence

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
LIES ALL LIES (X-Force #55)
(Probably not a LMD. This time.) (X-Force #55)
I’m not sure sound works like that, but it’s still cool. (X-Force #55)
And now you know how animated Wolverine feels. (X-Force #55)
Well, that’s one way to open a giant door. (X-Force #55)
Seriously, why is he in his underwear? (X-Force #55)
It’s really not any harder to believe than anything else in this comic. (X-Force #55)
Sacrelicious! (X-Force #56)
The Benjamin Russell storyline really doesn’t make any sense when you break it down… (X-Force #56)
I have nightmares like this. (X-Force #56)
IT WAS GAMESMASTER ALL ALONG SURE WHY NOT (X-Force #56)
We kinda forgot to cover this first time ’round. (X-Men Unlimited #8)
Puberty’s rough, buddy. (X-Men Unlimited #8)
“There’s a new mutant about to manifest! Let’s have the MOST UNSETTLING X-Man go follow him around!” (X-Men Unlimited #8)
Seriously, there is NO evidence at this point that it’s the word “mutant” that sends the kid running and not, say, the lightning. (X-Men Unlimited #8)
This is the part where it starts to feel like one of those books you could get in the ’80s with your kid’s name as the protagonist. (X-Men Unlimited #8)
See what I mean? (X-Men Unlimited #8)
“They usually bring you back in a dozen or so issues. Why?” (X-Men Unlimited #8)
And they all lived happily ever after.* *Joined the Thunderbolts, became Maverick, maybe blew up? (X-Men Unlimited #8)
NEXT EPISODE: Where no mutant has gone before!

LINKS & FURTHER CATASTROPHES:

343 – The Water Cooler of Violence

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which X-Force carries on the New Mutants’ tradition of property damage; a lot of people have infiltrated Helicarriers; G.W. Bridge makes it weird; Gamesmaster returns to no particular end; and we go back in time to cover the origins of Chris Bradley.

X-PLAINED:

  • The deaths of several Worthingtons
  • X-Force #55-56
  • X-Men Unlimited #8
  • A legacy of explosions
  • Uncanny X-Men #333 (briefly) (again)
  • A heist
  • Several of the many characters who had successfully infiltrated Helicarriers as of 1996
  • Dum Dum Dugan
  • Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine
  • The glory days off LASER tag
  • Church fights
  • Subtext
  • The Weisman Institute for the Criminally Insane (more) (again)
  • How to pronounce “Risque”
  • Chris Bradley
  • Hans Jensen
  • Nostalgia goggles and their absence
  • Civilian awareness of cosmic Marvel
  • Asgard, Oklahoma
  • Annalee

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Where No Mutant Has Gone Before

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!