Henry Peter Gyrich – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

394 – We All Have to Go Sometime

December 4, 2022 Jay 6 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which there’s always room for another X-cast; Cecilia Reyes wasn’t even supposed to be here today; Sabra has indestructible underwear; prime sentinels are probably even worse pets than quail; Marrow probably swears more than superhero comics allow for; and Operation Zero Tolerance comes to an end.

X-PLAINED:

The original proposed ending of Operation Zero Tolerance
The actual ending of Operation Zero Tolerance
X-Men #66-69
Operation Zero Tolerance (so far)
Prime Sentinels (again)
Bastion (more) (again)
Spidey and His Amazing Friends
Cecilia Reyes
The most reluctant X-Men
Nanomachines
Trust
Miles’s least favorite X-Men story
Sabra
Superheroes who wear white
Wizard dogs
Indestructible undergarments
Angie Quail
Candy Southern (again)
Actual quail
Bones
Metal Gear Solid
Officers Aguinal and Cleaveland
The sound of a soul losing its shape
One of many problems with the carceral system
What men do in bathrooms
A showdown
Operation Zero Tolerance in retrospect
Silly superhero names
Non-mutant characters who pair well with X-Men

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Bastion’s secret origin!

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 392 – The Mullet of Leadership

November 27, 2022 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Venice Beach. (Generation X #29)

Sunglasses shopping with Husk and M. (Generation X #29)

Disguises! (Generation X #29)

The Sugar Bombs have to be a Calvin and Hobbes nod, right? (Generation X #29)

This kid, man. (Generation X #29)

Does anyone know who these three are supposed to be? (Generation X #29)

Still cool, but not as cool as when they were bugs. (Generation X #29)

Emma, no! (Generation X #30)

Bachalo’s Prime Sentinels are pretty fun. (Generation X #31)

This kid was like sixteen two issues ago. (Generation X #31)

Wheeee! (Generation X #31)

FINALLY! (Generation X #31)

He kind of deserves it, though. (Uncanny X-Men #346)

You tell ‘im, JJJ! (Uncanny X-Men #346)

NEXT EPISODE: Camping trip!

392 – The Mullet of Leadership

November 20, 2022 Jay 16 comments

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In which Chris Bachalo changes things up; we theorize about Prime Sentinel hierarchy; the headmasters go undercover; fictional characters spend a lot of time in sewers; M’s secret comes to light; J. Jonah Jameson is at his best in X-books; Jay pitches a video game; Marrow gets a makeover; and part of journalistic integrity is choosing what not to cover.

X-PLAINED:

Banshee, recently
Generation X #29-31
Uncanny X-Men #346
Bastion
Daria
Leave It to Chance
Miguela Torres
Venice Beach
Skin’s cousin Gil
Inconsistencies that may or may not be deliberate
Jolt Cola™
Yet another take on Prime Sentinels
The Mullet of Leadership
A cool kid
Cat drama
DOA (again)
Cars
A kiss
Several attempted murders
Marrow’s appearance
Boyd and Mathers
X-fighting games
Mutant leadership philosophies

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men cleverly disguised as Wolverine

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 239 – Rap and Rumble (feat. Max Carleton)

March 18, 2019 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Awkward Family Portraits: The Avengers Edition (Avengers #368)

Nick, no. (Avengers #368)

The Avengers were not always Marvel’s A-List team. (Avengers #368)

TFW your kid gets replaced by a shapeshifter and then explodes. (Avengers #368)

“Mr. Agent” BWAHAHAHAHA (Avengers #368)

Trolling Henry Peter Gyrich is the real superheroism. (Avengers #368)

“Just like Dracula would.” (Avengers #368)

Oh, hey, it’s the yelling disembodied head of Charles Xavier! (Avengers #368)

Everyone else is rushing into battle; and there’s Cap, just, like, “FORGET THIS I’M GONNA FIGHT THE SKY” (X-Men #26)

Good work, Mr. Agent. (X-Men #26)

Avengers West Coast #101

Hawkeye should enter every room this way. (Avengers West Coast #101)

Genosha: Still the Goddamn Worst. (Avengers West Coast #101)

Did they, though? I kind of suspect he named himself that. (Uncanny X-Men #307)

The cover IS the trading card. (Avengers #69)

1993 seems like a little late to have two yelling Xavier heads in one story, but you do you.(Avengers #69)

Well, he sure pontificates like Magneto. (Avengers #69)

And yet, he won’t be out for another decade and change. (Avengers #69)

NEXT EPISODE: Live at Emerald City Comic Con, with Vita Ayala, Seanan McGuire, and Leah Williams!

LINKS & FURTHER MAXIMOFFS:

Max Carleton is an unmitigated delight! Here’s where you can check out more of his work:
- Read Max’s comics about comics at Waiting for the Trade!
- Follow him on Twitter!
- Hear Max and Tina dive into the weird and somewhat horrifying world of Once Upon a Time in Welcome to Storybrooke…
- …and find their secret podcast by supporting them on Patreon!
- Then come back and listen to Max and Jay talk about the wonders and horrors of the X-Men anime in our Episode 115 – So Many Teeth.
Life on the Infinite Farm, by Richard Evan Schwartz
Erdös Numbers
Aud Koch’s impressive take on Viv Vision’s family tree
Seriously, Marvel, give Aud all your mystical characters immediately.

239 – Rap and Rumble (feat. Max Carleton)

March 18, 2019 Jay 17 comments

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In which we enter the era of bomber jackets; the covers are the cards; Genosha remains neither green nor pleasant; the A is for “Avengers,” not “A-list”; Henry Peter Gyrich is the straightest of men; Cyclops sets an important precedent; Exodus is a huge jerk; we speculate about movies we have definitely not seen; Stephen Strange is not a qualified OBGYN; the Avengers are really weird even by our standards; and Max manages to connect two of Marvel’s most complicated family trees.

X-PLAINED:

One way to name babies
Blood Ties
Infinite bomber jackets
Avengers #368-369
X-Men #26
Avengers West Coast #101
Uncanny X-Men #307
Several very fancy covers
A shadow government, but not that kind of shadow government
Genosha (more) (again)
The Avengers, as of 1993
A special delegation
The Genoshan resistance
U.S. Agent
A time Cyclops told someone other than Dracula to follow their heart
The many belts of Nicholas Fury
Several members of the Maximoff family (more) (again)
Black Knight (Dane Whitman)
Sersi
A very drawn-out fight
Roy Thomas dialogue
The racist icing on the racist cake
Exodus (Bennet du Paris)
Diplomacy, kind of
Apolitical avenging
Magneto’s dream
A green and pleasant beverage
Yet another energy-dome-enclosed crisis
The giant, angry disembodied head of Charles Xavier
What is definitely the actual plot of the Purge movies
The surprisingly torrid private lives of the Maximoffs
Scarlet Witch and Vision’s kids
Master Pandemonium and his weird baby hands
Damian Hellstrom
How we’d handle Magneto’s family in modern Marvel
Robopaternity
A possible link between the Summers and Maximoff families

NEXT EPISODE: Live at Emerald City Comic Con, with Vita Ayala, Seanan McGuire, and Leah Williams!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 237 – X-Treme

March 3, 2019 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

That bathrobe deserves its own code name. (X-Men Annual #2)

It’s gonna get retconned away again soon, but, there you go! (X-Men Annual #2)

Ouch. (X-Men Annual #2)

Yeah, I’m with Revanche. (X-Men Annual #2)

I didn’t realize during the episode, but I think this may be the first time Revanche has called Psylocke “Elisabeth.” (X-Men Annual #2)

They look like they’re fighting for space on the cover. (X-Force Annual #2)

The Longshot of 1993. (X-Force Annual #2)

This is basically how everyone meets X-Force. (X-Force Annual #2)

Adam X moves like a video-game character, and it’s kind of great. (X-Force Annual #2)

Yeah, that’s rarely a good sign. (X-Force Annual #2)

…Okay, MAYBE I can see it. (X-Force Annual #2)

Possibly the greatest line in this issue. (X-Force Annual #2)

SEE WHAT I MEAN? It looks all portentous; but, no, it’s just the city. (X-Force Annual #2)

Add your own Shape of Water joke here. (X-Force Annual #2)

NEXT EPISODE: Jay gets really emotional about a remote control.

LINKS & FURTHER DIVERSIONS

Fun fact: Aron Wisenfeld is the only person Jay has ever seen spell his given name like Jay’s dad.
This is King Radical. (He also has a skateboard.)

237 – X-Treme

March 3, 2019 Jay 28 comments

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In which there is only one Big Pine Key; Empyrean is actually a pretty sensible dude; the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants are ride-or-die; you should probably avoid setting X-Men stories in Phoenix, Arizona; Adam X the X-Treme is the Longshot of the 1990s; Miles adopts a ship; heteronormativity is why we can’t have nice things; and you should really seriously come see us at ECCC!

X-PLAINED:

Why Nate Grey is Like That
X-Men Annual #2
X-Force Annual #2
The worst book Aron Wisenfeld ever drew
Big Pine Key
Empyrean
Jonathan Chambers
A very fancy bathrobe
What’s going on in Psylocke’s head
Pallative care for late-stage Legacy virus patients
Revanche’s fairly bleak legacy
X-Men: Time Gliders
How to dress to discuss Adam X the X-Treme
Adam X the X-Treme
Personal lettering styles
Michelle
Flashing, but not like that
Martin Strong
Miles’s new ship
Subtext vs. canon
Heteronormativity
X-Crayons

NEXT EPISODE: Jay gets really emotional about a remote control.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 218 – Careful What You Lick

October 21, 2018 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

They are very excited to be here. (Uncanny X-Men #298)

This is exactly how we dress to watch TV, too. (Uncanny X-Men #298)

Ugh, THESE jerks. (Uncanny X-Men #298)

I mean, they were living there anyway, and it’s probably just as well that you saved them from being murdered, but you do you. (Uncanny X-Men #298)

Forge, you have never been reassuring in your life. (Uncanny X-Men #299)

Somewhere, a damp Magneto is skittering around waiting for his new carapace to harden. (Uncanny X-Men #299)

While I get that Warren’s intentions are probably good here, breaking into schools and holding the children while they sleep is generally frowned upon by LITERALLY EVERYONE. (Uncanny X-Men #299)

Look at him evade like a pro. (Uncanny X-Men #299)

BECAUSE WE WERE TOO MENNY (Uncanny X-Men #299)

Hank McCoy for President. (Uncanny X-Men #299)

I wish they just lied continually to Bishop about the modern world. (Uncanny X-Men #299)

Look at all those Xs! (Uncanny X-Men #300)

Forge, settle down, buddy. (Uncanny X-Men #300)

Iceman speaks for us all, here. (Uncanny X-Men #300)

PROFESSOR XAVIER IS KIND OF CREEPY. (Uncanny X-Men #300)

A good hug. (Uncanny X-Men #300)

And that’s why you always leave a note! Or don’t murder Magneto! One of those, probably! (Uncanny X-Men #300)

These villains are not wildly memorable. (Uncanny X-Men #300)

A rematch that’s been a long time coming. (Uncanny X-Men #300)

Even ’90s Cyclops has his moments. (Uncanny X-Men #300)

There’s the mutant metaphor, and then there’s the Jean Grey metaphor, which is related but not identical. (Uncanny X-Men #300)

“Magnets… I’ve had a few…” (Uncanny X-Men #300)

GLOWER. (Uncanny X-Men #300)

And then nobody was ever happy again. (Uncanny X-Men #300)

NEXT EPISODE: The Emma Frost Appreciation Society (feat. Seanan McGuire, Leah Williams, et. al.)

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE:

Come see us at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival!
The delightful PDX Broadsides will also be there!
This episode involves a LOT of references to past story arcs. Here’s where you can hear us talk about those:
- Learn about one of the less obvious reasons not to masturbate with cacti in Episode 78 – The Eye Killers and Other Cautionary Tales.
- You can hear about the beginning of X-Men vol. 2 in Episode 178 – Giant-Size Special #6.
- We covered God Loves, Man Kills in Giant-Size Special #1.
You can see Miles’s childhood X-Men drawings in Jay & Miles Made a Zine About the X-Men, now available on Gumroad!

218 – Careful What You Lick

October 15, 2018 Jay 28 comments

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In which X-Cutioner’s Song may be over, but its repercussions continue; Uncanny X-Men hits a major milestone; superhero comics are and always have been political; Bishop learns to banter; the X-Men gain an unlikely ally; and Magneto remains exceptionally difficult to kill.

X-PLAINED:

Jay & Miles at VVCBF
Uncanny X-Men #298-300
The Acolytes (more) (again)
The Upstarts (more) (again)
Several important lessons
A very fancy room
A very fancy brain
The unpleasant fate of Sharon Friedlander
The all-new, all-different Acolytes
Carmella Unuscione
The return of one of our favorite antagonists
A sick burn
The fate of Asteroid M
Molting
A debate
Graydon Creed (more) (again)
The tentative redemption of Robert Kelly
How to lose a debate with Joe Biden
A large number of prescient political references
Friends of Humanity
How to engage with a fascist in a televised debate
Noah DuBois
Fatale
A generic rural mob
Milan
A narratively convenient superpower
Amelia Voght
Seamus Mellencamp
Neophyte
The gospel of Magneto
A joyous reunion
The helmet that wouldn’t die
Ponytail ethics
Timelust
Several accents
The current state of Rogue’s powers

NEXT EPISODE: All Emma All Episode (feat. Seanan McGuire, Leah Williams, and more)!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 31 – Chekhov’s Raygun

November 16, 2014 Jay 13 comments

Listen to the episode here!

You can get prints of David Wynne’s “Back to the Future Past” art here, or contact David for the original!

This guy.

We searched for the source for this for like an hour, with no luck. Wherever it comes from, we would very much like to send it back. (Update: It’s from X-Factor #69, with art by Whilce Portacio. Thank you, Breadcrumb!)

Rogue, no! He’s not worth it! He’s not even a Super Doctor Astronaut! (Uncanny X-Men #182)

Rogue’s schtick was–very briefly–throwing silver dollars. It did not last. (Uncanny X-Men #182)

Ooh, moral awakening! (Uncanny X-Men #182)

Aw, Kitty. Also, ace tandem use of speech and thought balloons. (Uncanny X-Men #183)

Remember when artists used to draw Wolverine at the proper height? (Uncanny X-Men #183)

SUNDAY PUNCH. Juggernaut, you delightful scamp. (Uncanny X-Men #183)

Wolverine is full of valuable life lessons, a remarkable number of which involve massive real-estate damage. (Uncanny X-Men #183)

Forge’s sweet, sweet pad. (Uncanny X-Men #184)

LOOK AT THIS DELIGHTFUL GENTLEMAN AND HIS DELIGHTFUL SHORTS (Uncanny X-Men #184)

Fun fact: Wolverine and the X-Men Forge is an unsettlingly accurate Miles doppelgänger.

He’s a nice dude. Too bad he’s SUPER DOOMED. (Uncanny X-Men #184)

Pro tip: the better Storm’s haircut, the better the general state of the timeline. (Uncanny X-Men #184)

Rachel Summers: THE SADDEST TIME TRAVELER. (Uncanny X-Men #185)

“What would Dracula do?” (Uncanny X-Men #185)

Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #185)

And that’s why you always leave a note. (Uncanny X-Men #185)

And now, Barry Windsor Smith! (Uncanny X-Men #186)

God, that opening. (Uncanny X-Men #186)

Storm does not need superpowers to be more badass than you. (Uncanny X-Men #186)

Straight talk. (Uncanny X-Men #186)

In a lot of ways, Storm’s arc over the last twenty or so issues has equipped her with the tools to get through this. (Uncanny X-Men #186)

Straight talk, part two. Love that “Lifedeath” is veyr much a love story that very much doesn’t resolve as such. (Uncanny X-Men #186)

Let’s take a moment to consider the logistics of this kick, shake our heads, and weep quietly. (Uncanny X-Men #187)

SHADOW PTEROSAURS (Uncanny X-Men #187)

Yukio callback! (Uncanny X-Men #187)

The best part is that he dressed up as a pilot, like that will somehow make this less conspicuous. (Uncanny X-Men #187)

Colossus: Terrible boyfriend, pretty great brother. (Uncanny X-Men #187)

As it happens, Magneto’s asteroid got knocked out of orbit by THE BEST SPACE-ROBOT TEENAGER EVER, but we’ll get to that next episode. (Uncanny X-Men #187)