Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Henry Peter Gyrich

As Mentioned in Episode 239 – Rap and Rumble (feat. Max Carleton)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Awkward Family Portraits: The Avengers Edition (Avengers #368)
Awkward Family Portraits: The Avengers Edition (Avengers #368)
Nick, no. (Avengers #368)
Nick, no. (Avengers #368)
The Avengers were not always Marvel's A-List team. (Avengers #368)
The Avengers were not always Marvel’s A-List team. (Avengers #368)
TFW your kid gets replaced by a shapeshifter and then explodes. (Avengers #368)
TFW your kid gets replaced by a shapeshifter and then explodes. (Avengers #368)
"Mr. Agent" BWAHAHAHAHA (Avengers #368)
“Mr. Agent” BWAHAHAHAHA (Avengers #368)
Trolling Henry Peter Gyrich is the real superheroism. (Avengers #368)
Trolling Henry Peter Gyrich is the real superheroism. (Avengers #368)
"Just like Dracula would." (Avengers #368)
“Just like Dracula would.” (Avengers #368)
Oh, hey, it's the yelling disembodied head of Charles Xavier! (Avengers #368)
Oh, hey, it’s the yelling disembodied head of Charles Xavier! (Avengers #368)
Everyone else is rushing into battle; and there's Cap, just, like, "FORGET THIS I'M GONNA FIGHT THE SKY" (X-Men #26)
Everyone else is rushing into battle; and there’s Cap, just, like, “FORGET THIS I’M GONNA FIGHT THE SKY” (X-Men #26)
Good work, Mr. Agent. (X-Men #26)
Good work, Mr. Agent. (X-Men #26)
Avengers West Coast #101
Avengers West Coast #101
Hawkeye should enter every room this way. (Avengers West Coast #101)
Hawkeye should enter every room this way. (Avengers West Coast #101)
Genosha: Still the Goddamn Worst. (Avengers West Coast #101)
Genosha: Still the Goddamn Worst. (Avengers West Coast #101)
Did they, though? I kind of suspect he named himself that. (Uncanny X-Men #307)
Did they, though? I kind of suspect he named himself that. (Uncanny X-Men #307)
The cover IS the trading card. (Avengers #69)
The cover IS the trading card. (Avengers #69)
1993 seems like a little late to have two yelling Xavier heads in one story, but you do you.(Avengers #69)
1993 seems like a little late to have two yelling Xavier heads in one story, but you do you.(Avengers #69)
Well, he sure pontificates like Magneto. (Avengers #69)
Well, he sure pontificates like Magneto. (Avengers #69)
And yet, he won't be out for another decade and change. (Avengers #69)
And yet, he won’t be out for another decade and change. (Avengers #69)
NEXT EPISODE: Live at Emerald City Comic Con, with Vita Ayala, Seanan McGuire, and Leah Williams!
NEXT EPISODE: Live at Emerald City Comic Con, with Vita Ayala, Seanan McGuire, and Leah Williams!

LINKS & FURTHER MAXIMOFFS:

 

 

239 – Rap and Rumble (feat. Max Carleton)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we enter the era of bomber jackets; the covers are the cards; Genosha remains neither green nor pleasant; the A is for “Avengers,” not “A-list”; Henry Peter Gyrich is the straightest of men; Cyclops sets an important precedent; Exodus is a huge jerk; we speculate about movies we have definitely not seen; Stephen Strange is not a qualified OBGYN; the Avengers are really weird even by our standards; and Max manages to connect two of Marvel’s most complicated family trees.

X-PLAINED:

  • One way to name babies
  • Blood Ties
  • Infinite bomber jackets
  • Avengers #368-369
  • X-Men #26
  • Avengers West Coast #101
  • Uncanny X-Men #307
  • Several very fancy covers
  • A shadow government, but not that kind of shadow government
  • Genosha (more) (again)
  • The Avengers, as of 1993
  • A special delegation
  • The Genoshan resistance
  • U.S. Agent
  • A time Cyclops told someone other than Dracula to follow their heart
  • The many belts of Nicholas Fury
  • Several members of the Maximoff family (more) (again)
  • Black Knight (Dane Whitman)
  • Sersi
  • A very drawn-out fight
  • Roy Thomas dialogue
  • The racist icing on the racist cake
  • Exodus (Bennet du Paris)
  • Diplomacy, kind of
  • Apolitical avenging
  • Magneto’s dream
  • A green and pleasant beverage
  • Yet another energy-dome-enclosed crisis
  • The giant, angry disembodied head of Charles Xavier
  • What is definitely the actual plot of the Purge movies
  • The surprisingly torrid private lives of the Maximoffs
  • Scarlet Witch and Vision’s kids
  • Master Pandemonium and his weird baby hands
  • Damian Hellstrom
  • How we’d handle Magneto’s family in modern Marvel
  • Robopaternity
  • A possible link between the Summers and Maximoff families

NEXT EPISODE: Live at Emerald City Comic Con, with Vita Ayala, Seanan McGuire, and Leah Williams!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 237 – X-Treme

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
That bathrobe deserves its own code name. (X-Men Annual #2)
That bathrobe deserves its own code name. (X-Men Annual #2)
It's gonna get retconned away again soon, but, there you go! (X-Men Annual #2)
It’s gonna get retconned away again soon, but, there you go! (X-Men Annual #2)
Ouch. (X-Men Annual #2)
Ouch. (X-Men Annual #2)
Yeah, I'm with Revanche. (X-Men Annual #2)
Yeah, I’m with Revanche. (X-Men Annual #2)
I didn't realize during the episode, but I think this may be the first time Revanche has called Psylocke "Elisabeth." (X-Men Annual #2)
I didn’t realize during the episode, but I think this may be the first time Revanche has called Psylocke “Elisabeth.” (X-Men Annual #2)
They look like they're fighting for space on the cover. (X-Force Annual #2)
They look like they’re fighting for space on the cover. (X-Force Annual #2)
The Longshot of 1993. (X-Force Annual #2)
The Longshot of 1993. (X-Force Annual #2)
This is basically how everyone meets X-Force. (X-Force Annual #2)
This is basically how everyone meets X-Force. (X-Force Annual #2)
Adam X moves like a video-game character, and it's kind of great. (X-Force Annual #2)
Adam X moves like a video-game character, and it’s kind of great. (X-Force Annual #2)
Yeah, that's rarely a good sign. (X-Force Annual #2)
Yeah, that’s rarely a good sign. (X-Force Annual #2)
...Okay, MAYBE I can see it. (X-Force Annual #2)
…Okay, MAYBE I can see it. (X-Force Annual #2)
Possibly the greatest line in this issue. (X-Force Annual #2)
Possibly the greatest line in this issue. (X-Force Annual #2)
SEE WHAT I MEAN? It looks all portentous; but, no, it's just the city. (X-Force Annual #2)
SEE WHAT I MEAN? It looks all portentous; but, no, it’s just the city. (X-Force Annual #2)
Add your own Shape of Water joke here. (X-Force Annual #2)
Add your own Shape of Water joke here. (X-Force Annual #2)
NEXT EPISODE: Jay gets really emotional about a remote control.
NEXT EPISODE: Jay gets really emotional about a remote control.

LINKS & FURTHER DIVERSIONS

237 – X-Treme

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which there is only one Big Pine Key; Empyrean is actually a pretty sensible dude; the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants are ride-or-die; you should probably avoid setting X-Men stories in Phoenix, Arizona; Adam X the X-Treme is the Longshot of the 1990s; Miles adopts a ship; heteronormativity is why we can’t have nice things; and you should really seriously come see us at ECCC!

X-PLAINED:

  • Why Nate Grey is Like That
  • X-Men Annual #2
  • X-Force Annual #2
  • The worst book Aron Wisenfeld ever drew
  • Big Pine Key
  • Empyrean
  • Jonathan Chambers
  • A very fancy bathrobe
  • What’s going on in Psylocke’s head
  • Pallative care for late-stage Legacy virus patients
  • Revanche’s fairly bleak legacy
  • X-Men: Time Gliders
  • How to dress to discuss Adam X the X-Treme
  • Adam X the X-Treme
  • Personal lettering styles
  • Michelle
  • Flashing, but not like that
  • Martin Strong
  • Miles’s new ship
  • Subtext vs. canon
  • Heteronormativity
  • X-Crayons

NEXT EPISODE: Jay gets really emotional about a remote control.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 218 – Careful What You Lick

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
They are very excited to be here. (Uncanny X-Men #298)
They are very excited to be here. (Uncanny X-Men #298)
This is exactly how we dress to watch TV, too. (Uncanny X-Men #298)
This is exactly how we dress to watch TV, too. (Uncanny X-Men #298)
Ugh, THESE jerks. (Uncanny X-Men #298)
Ugh, THESE jerks. (Uncanny X-Men #298)
I mean, they were living there anyway, and it's probably just as well that you saved them from being murdered, but you do you. (Uncanny X-Men #298)
I mean, they were living there anyway, and it’s probably just as well that you saved them from being murdered, but you do you. (Uncanny X-Men #298)
Forge, you have never been reassuring in your life. (Uncanny X-Men #299)
Forge, you have never been reassuring in your life. (Uncanny X-Men #299)
Somewhere, a damp Magneto is skittering around waiting for his new carapace to harden. (Uncanny X-Men #299)
Somewhere, a damp Magneto is skittering around waiting for his new carapace to harden. (Uncanny X-Men #299)
While I get that Warren's intentions are probably good here, breaking into schools and holding the children while they sleep is generally frowned upon by LITERALLY EVERYONE. (Uncanny X-Men #299)
While I get that Warren’s intentions are probably good here, breaking into schools and holding the children while they sleep is generally frowned upon by LITERALLY EVERYONE. (Uncanny X-Men #299)
Look at him evade like a pro. (Uncanny X-Men #299)
Look at him evade like a pro. (Uncanny X-Men #299)
BECAUSE WE WERE TOO MENNY (Uncanny X-Men #299)
BECAUSE WE WERE TOO MENNY (Uncanny X-Men #299)
Hank McCoy for President. (Uncanny X-Men #299)
Hank McCoy for President. (Uncanny X-Men #299)
I wish they just lied continually to Bishop about the modern world. (Uncanny X-Men #299)
I wish they just lied continually to Bishop about the modern world. (Uncanny X-Men #299)
Look at all those Xs! (Uncanny X-Men #300)
Look at all those Xs! (Uncanny X-Men #300)
Forge, settle down, buddy. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
Forge, settle down, buddy. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
Iceman speaks for us all, here. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
Iceman speaks for us all, here. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
PROFESSOR XAVIER IS KIND OF CREEPY. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
PROFESSOR XAVIER IS KIND OF CREEPY. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
A good hug. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
A good hug. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
And that's why you always leave a note! Or don't murder Magneto! One of those, probably! (Uncanny X-Men #300)
And that’s why you always leave a note! Or don’t murder Magneto! One of those, probably! (Uncanny X-Men #300)
These villains are not wildly memorable. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
These villains are not wildly memorable. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
A rematch that's been a long time coming. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
A rematch that’s been a long time coming. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
Even '90s Cyclops has his moments. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
Even ’90s Cyclops has his moments. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
There's the mutant metaphor, and then there's the Jean Grey metaphor, which is related but not identical. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
There’s the mutant metaphor, and then there’s the Jean Grey metaphor, which is related but not identical. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
"Magnets... I've had a few..." (Uncanny X-Men #300)
“Magnets… I’ve had a few…” (Uncanny X-Men #300)
GLOWER. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
GLOWER. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
And then nobody was ever happy again. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
And then nobody was ever happy again. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
NEXT EPISODE: The Emma Frost Appreciation Society (feat. Seanan McGuire, Leah Williams, et. al.)
NEXT EPISODE: The Emma Frost Appreciation Society (feat. Seanan McGuire, Leah Williams, et. al.)

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE:

 

218 – Careful What You Lick

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which X-Cutioner’s Song may be over, but its repercussions continue; Uncanny X-Men hits a major milestone; superhero comics are and always have been political; Bishop learns to banter; the X-Men gain an unlikely ally; and Magneto remains exceptionally difficult to kill.

X-PLAINED:

  • Jay & Miles at VVCBF
  • Uncanny X-Men #298-300
  • The Acolytes (more) (again)
  • The Upstarts (more) (again)
  • Several important lessons
  • A very fancy room
  • A very fancy brain
  • The unpleasant fate of Sharon Friedlander
  • The all-new, all-different Acolytes
  • Carmella Unuscione
  • The return of one of our favorite antagonists
  • A sick burn
  • The fate of Asteroid M
  • Molting
  • A debate
  • Graydon Creed (more) (again)
  • The tentative redemption of Robert Kelly
  • How to lose a debate with Joe Biden
  • A large number of prescient political references
  • Friends of Humanity
  • How to engage with a fascist in a televised debate
  • Noah DuBois
  • Fatale
  • A generic rural mob
  • Milan
  • A narratively convenient superpower
  • Amelia Voght
  • Seamus Mellencamp
  • Neophyte
  • The gospel of Magneto
  • A joyous reunion
  • The helmet that wouldn’t die
  • Ponytail ethics
  • Timelust
  • Several accents
  • The current state of Rogue’s powers

NEXT EPISODE: All Emma All Episode (feat. Seanan McGuire, Leah Williams, and more)!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 31 – Chekhov’s Raygun

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Listen to the episode here!

You can get prints of David Wynne's "Back to the Future Past" art here, or contact David for the original!
You can get prints of David Wynne’s “Back to the Future Past” art here, or contact David for the original!
This guy.
This guy.
We searched for the source for this for like an hour, with no luck. Wherever it comes from, we would very much like to send it back. (Update: It's from X-Factor #69, with art by Whilce Portacio. Thank you, Breadcrumb!)
We searched for the source for this for like an hour, with no luck. Wherever it comes from, we would very much like to send it back. (Update: It’s from X-Factor #69, with art by Whilce Portacio. Thank you, Breadcrumb!)
Rogue, no! He's not worth it! He's not even a Super Doctor Astronaut! (Uncanny X-Men #182)
Rogue, no! He’s not worth it! He’s not even a Super Doctor Astronaut! (Uncanny X-Men #182)
Rogue's schtick was--very briefly--throwing silver dollars. It did not last. (Uncanny X-Men #182)
Rogue’s schtick was–very briefly–throwing silver dollars. It did not last. (Uncanny X-Men #182)
Ooh, moral awakening! (Uncanny X-Men #182)
Ooh, moral awakening! (Uncanny X-Men #182)
Aw, Kitty. Also, ace tandem use of speech and thought balloons. (Uncanny X-Men #183)
Aw, Kitty. Also, ace tandem use of speech and thought balloons. (Uncanny X-Men #183)
Remember when artists used to draw Wolverine at the proper height? (Uncanny X-Men #183)
Remember when artists used to draw Wolverine at the proper height? (Uncanny X-Men #183)
SUNDAY PUNCH. Juggernaut, you delightful scamp. (Uncanny X-Men #183)
SUNDAY PUNCH. Juggernaut, you delightful scamp. (Uncanny X-Men #183)
Wolverine is full of valuable life lessons, a remarkable number of which involve massive real-estate damage. (Uncanny X-Men #183)
Wolverine is full of valuable life lessons, a remarkable number of which involve massive real-estate damage. (Uncanny X-Men #183)
Forge's sweet, sweet pad. (Uncanny X-Men #184)
Forge’s sweet, sweet pad. (Uncanny X-Men #184)
LOOK AT THIS DELIGHTFUL GENTLEMAN AND HIS DELIGHTFUL SHORTS (Uncanny X-Men #184)
LOOK AT THIS DELIGHTFUL GENTLEMAN AND HIS DELIGHTFUL SHORTS (Uncanny X-Men #184)
Fun fact: Wolverine and the X-Men Forge is an unsettlingly accurate Miles doppelgänger.
Fun fact: Wolverine and the X-Men Forge is an unsettlingly accurate Miles doppelgänger.
He's a nice dude. Too bad he's SUPER DOOMED. (Uncanny X-Men #184)
He’s a nice dude. Too bad he’s SUPER DOOMED. (Uncanny X-Men #184)
Pro tip: the better Storm's haircut, the better the general state of the timeline. (Uncanny X-Men #184)
Pro tip: the better Storm’s haircut, the better the general state of the timeline. (Uncanny X-Men #184)
Rachel Summers: THE SADDEST TIME TRAVELER. (Uncanny X-Men #185)
Rachel Summers: THE SADDEST TIME TRAVELER. (Uncanny X-Men #185)
"What would Dracula do?" (Uncanny X-Men #185)
“What would Dracula do?” (Uncanny X-Men #185)
Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #185)
Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #185)
And that's why you always leave a note. (Uncanny X-Men #185)
And that’s why you always leave a note. (Uncanny X-Men #185)
And now, Barry Windsor Smith! (Uncanny X-Men #186)
And now, Barry Windsor Smith! (Uncanny X-Men #186)
God, that opening. (Uncanny X-Men #186)
God, that opening. (Uncanny X-Men #186)
Storm does not need superpowers to be more badass than you. (Uncanny X-Men #186)
Storm does not need superpowers to be more badass than you. (Uncanny X-Men #186)
Straight talk. (Uncanny X-Men #186)
Straight talk. (Uncanny X-Men #186)
In a lot of ways, Storm's arc over the last twenty or so issues has equipped her with the tools to get through this. (Uncanny X-Men #186)
In a lot of ways, Storm’s arc over the last twenty or so issues has equipped her with the tools to get through this. (Uncanny X-Men #186)
Straight talk, part two. Love that "Lifedeath" is veyr much a love story that very much doesn't resolve as such. (Uncanny X-Men #186)
Straight talk, part two. Love that “Lifedeath” is veyr much a love story that very much doesn’t resolve as such. (Uncanny X-Men #186)
Let's take a moment to consider the logistics of this kick, shake our heads, and weep quietly. (Uncanny X-Men #187)
Let’s take a moment to consider the logistics of this kick, shake our heads, and weep quietly. (Uncanny X-Men #187)
SHADOW PTEROSAURS (Uncanny X-Men #187)
SHADOW PTEROSAURS (Uncanny X-Men #187)
Yukio callback! (Uncanny X-Men #187)
Yukio callback! (Uncanny X-Men #187)
The best part is that he dressed up as a pilot, like that will somehow make this less conspicuous. (Uncanny X-Men #187)
The best part is that he dressed up as a pilot, like that will somehow make this less conspicuous. (Uncanny X-Men #187)
Colossus: Terrible boyfriend, pretty great brother. (Uncanny X-Men #187)
Colossus: Terrible boyfriend, pretty great brother. (Uncanny X-Men #187)
As it happens, Magneto's asteroid got knocked out of orbit by THE BEST SPACE-ROBOT TEENAGER EVER, but we'll get to that next episode. (Uncanny X-Men #187)
As it happens, Magneto’s asteroid got knocked out of orbit by THE BEST SPACE-ROBOT TEENAGER EVER, but we’ll get to that next episode. (Uncanny X-Men #187)
Seriously. Saddest time traveler. (Uncanny X-Men #187)
Seriously. Saddest time traveler. (Uncanny X-Men #187)
Next episode: Where we're going, we don't need roads.
Next episode: Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.

31 – Chekhov’s Raygun

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Art by David Wynne
Art by David Wynne

In which there is a whole, whole lot going on; we continue to have no use for Michael Rossi; Wolverine should be an advice columnist; Forge makes bold fashion choices; the health of a timeline is directly tied to the awesomeness of Storm’s hair; and the X-Men get their first dark-future refugee.

X-Plained:

  • Dire Wraiths
  • ROM
  • Tailoring
  • Uncanny X-Men #182-188
  • Just how much story can be shoehorned into seven issues
  • A dubious Silent Hill metaphor
  • The people in Rogue’s head
  • Inexorable momentum
  • Several profoundly uncomfortable conversations
  • Parallel narrative in comics
  • Being friends with Wolverine
  • Casual enmity
  • Forge
  • Miles’s X-doppelganger
  • Tiny shorts
  • Chekhov’s Raygun
  • Rachel Summers (again)
  • Timeline disambiguation
  • Rachel disambiguation
  • “Lifedeath: A Love Story”
  • Feelings
  • Storm, powers, and identity
  • X-Men Mad-Libs
  • Hound marks
  • X-Men: The End

Next Week: THE DEMON BEAR SAGA!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – as well as links to recommended reading and the winners of the stealth / plainclothes cosplay contest – on our blog.

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As Mentioned in Episode 29 – Mutant in a Box

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Listen to the podcast here!

We're having a stealth / plainclothes cosplay contest, with guest X-Pert judge Kris Anka, and prizes from TVStoreOnline! Submissions are open 'til November 7. JOIN US.
We’re having a stealth / plainclothes cosplay contest, with guest X-Pert judge Kris Anka, and prizes from TVStoreOnline! Submissions are open ’til November 7. JOIN US.
Yep, that's our Fantomex.
Yep, that’s our Fantomex.
This ridiculous motherfucker who is now THREE PEOPLE. What the hell, Fantomex?
This ridiculous motherfucker who is now THREE PEOPLE. What the hell, Fantomex?
This isn't Cyclops's worst vacation. Hell, it's not even his worst honeymoon. (X-Men #176)
This isn’t Cyclops’s worst vacation. Hell, it’s not even his worst honeymoon. (X-Men #176)
Wolverine and Mariko: dealing with relationship issues like grown-ups. We choose to believe that wearing a mask that looks like your hair is a prerogative of adulthood. (X-Men #176)
Wolverine and Mariko: dealing with relationship issues like grown-ups. We choose to believe that wearing a mask that looks like your hair is a prerogative of adulthood. (X-Men #176)
You'd REALLY THINK Scott would know what an octopus looks like by now, but I guess he was blindfolded for a lot of his time in Octopusheim. (X-Men #176)
You’d REALLY THINK Scott would know what an octopus looks like by now, but I guess he was blindfolded for a lot of his time in Octopusheim. (X-Men #176)
Scott! The sea's a lovely lady when you play in her. But if you play with her, she's a BITCH! Play in the sea, yes, but never play with her. You're lucky to be here! You're lucky to be ALIVE! (X-Men #176, with sincere apologies to the late, great Spalding Gray. Seriously, go watch Swimming to Cambodia. And Monster in a Box. And Gray's Anatomy. Now.)
Scott! The sea’s a lovely lady when you play in her. But if you play with her, she’s a BITCH! Play in the sea, yes, but never play with her. You’re lucky to be here! You’re lucky to be ALIVE! (X-Men #176, with sincere apologies to the late, great Spalding Gray. Seriously, go watch Swimming to Cambodia. And Monster in a Box. And Gray’s Anatomy. Now.)
Yeah, good luck with that, Sparky. (X-Men #176)
Yeah, good luck with that, Sparky. (X-Men #176)
Val Cooper: Definitely the sister of Special Agent Dale Cooper.
Val Cooper: Definitely the sister of Special Agent Dale Cooper.
The early '80s: A more innocent time, when all a hero needed was coke and epic shoulder pads, and you could kill Wolverine by slitting his throat. (X-Men #177)
The early ’80s: A more innocent time, when all a hero needed was coke and epic shoulder pads, and you could kill Wolverine by slitting his throat. (X-Men #177)
Why is Alex dressed like an elf? (X-Men #177)
Why is Alex dressed like an elf? (X-Men #177)
As diversions go, that's a pretty impressively orchestrated one. Go, Brotherhood! (X-Men #177)
As diversions go, that’s a pretty impressively orchestrated one. Go, Brotherhood! (X-Men #177)
CYCLOPS WHAT THE HELL IS EVEN WRONG WITN YOU (X-Men #178)
CYCLOPS WHAT THE HELL IS EVEN WRONG WITN YOU (X-Men #178)
"Get the asprin, Rogue. I feel a crossover event coming on." (X-Men #178)
“Get the asprin, Rogue. I feel a crossover event coming on.” (X-Men #178)
Awyeah. (X-Men #178)
Awyeah. (X-Men #178)
Why is Kitty wearing an unbranded Fantastic 4 costume? Who the hell knows? Do we even need a reason, at this point? (X-Men #178)
Why is Kitty wearing an unbranded Fantastic 4 costume? Who the hell knows? Do we even need a reason, at this point? (X-Men #178)
99% sure Cyndi Lauper wrote a song about this. (X-Men #179)
99% sure Cyndi Lauper wrote a song about this. (X-Men #179)
This is innocuous in context, until you realize he's sniffing a dead teenager in a morgue. (X-Men #179)
This is innocuous in context, until you realize he’s sniffing a dead teenager in a morgue. (X-Men #179)
Aw, Leech. (X-Men #179)
Aw, Leech. (X-Men #179)
LOOK AT THIS FUCKING WIZARD LOOK AT HIS HAT LOOK AT HOW HE CLEARLY BELONGS ON THE SET OF FLASH GORDON (X-Men #179)
LOOK AT THIS FUCKING WIZARD LOOK AT HIS HAT LOOK AT HOW HE CLEARLY BELONGS ON THE SET OF FLASH GORDON (X-Men #179)
Professor Xavier engages in a rare moment of being absolutely delightful. (X-Men #178)
Professor Xavier engages in a rare moment of being absolutely delightful. (X-Men #178)
I like to imagine that Kitty and Doug's side adventures are the subject of a mid-'80s feature film starring Jenny Lewis. (X-Men #180)
I like to imagine that Kitty and Doug’s side adventures are the subject of a mid-’80s feature film starring Jenny Lewis. (X-Men #180)
Sky closure is the best closure. (X-Men #180)
Sky closure is the best closure. (X-Men #180)
Literally the only worthwhile panel in all twelve issues of Secret Wars. (Secret Wars #1)
Literally the only worthwhile panel in all twelve issues of Secret Wars. (Secret Wars #1)
"I'll see she's raised as if she were my own. HOPE SHE LIKES BEING DROWNED IN PUDDLES." (X-Men #181)
“I’ll see she’s raised as if she were my own. HOPE SHE LIKES BEING DROWNED IN PUDDLES.” (X-Men #181)
Oh. That guy. Again. (X-Men #181)
Oh. That guy. Again. (X-Men #181)
This Erica Henderson drawing of Warlock and Cypher doing Troy and Abed in the Morning may be the single nerdiest thing Rachel owns, and that's saying something.
This Erica Henderson drawing of Warlock and Cypher doing Troy and Abed in the Morning may be the single nerdiest thing Rachel owns, and that’s saying something.
Next week: These delightful scamps.
Next week: These delightful scamps.

29 – Mutant in a Box

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In which Cyclops is the worst at vacations, Mystique is your favorite MurderMom™, Havok is eternally ABD, Kitty Pryde does science, Callisto doesn’t give a damn about her bad reputation, Xavier has a Troy Barnes moment, Miles may be the only person with fond memories of Secret Wars, and Rachel finally gets to make Spalding Gray references.

X-Plained:

  • Fantomex
  • Uncanny X-Men #176-181
  • Reset issues
  • Scott Summers’s second-worst honeymoon
  • Cephalopod disambiguation
  • Project Wideawake (more) (again)
  • Valerie Cooper
  • Foreshadowing
  • Public displays of affection
  • Leech
  • How X-Men age
  • A sewer wizard
  • Doug Ramsey
  • Secret Wars
  • Japan
  • Mystique’s kids
  • Douglock
  • Mystique’s powers
  • The other X-Men Forever

Next Week: The New Mutants gets weird!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

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