Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Leech

As Mentioned in Episode 92 – Living in Ship

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Love, X-Factor style. (X-Factor #27)
Days later, Manhattan is flooded. (X-Factor #27)
“Everything was going really well for like five whole pages!” (X-Factor #27)
Jean, you knocked! You really have grown up! (X-Factor #27)
Aww, squishface. (X-Factor #27)
“And I was only a few days away from retirement…” (X-Factor #28)
Gotta catch ’em all. (X-Factor #28)
Aww, Hank… (X-Factor #28)
Check out that panel composition – this is how you do show-don’t-tell. (X-Factor #28)
Just sayin’. (X-Factor #28)
Okay, I just posted this one because of Scott’s amazing death-glare. “Damn it, Bobby, I’m the one who gets to do press conferences.” (X-Factor #29)
Nabbit. Whunk. (X-Factor #29)
Aww, Hank..! (X-Factor #29)
I can’t say I fully blame Infectia for monsterizing some of these jerks. (X-Factor #29)
Walter Simonson: master of making soap opera look Epic As Hell. (X-Factor #29)
Whoa. (X-Factor #30)
I mean, she’s kind of endearing in her awfulness, right? (X-Factor #30)
Bobby Drake: overcompensating. (X-Factor #30)
These panels could have come straight out of The Mighty Thor. (X-Factor #30)
Aww, crap, they’re holding hands – you know that means you guys are completely screwed, right? (X-Factor #30)
*cue laugh track* (X-Factor #31)
Well that’s terrifying. (X-Factor #31)
Louise and Walter Simonson do the best Destiny. (X-Factor #31)
Jeez, the USPS is way more hardcore than I thought. (X-Factor #31)
Well crap. (X-Factor #31)
Next time: Sorcerers’ Duel.

92 – Living in Ship

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which X-Factor loves press conferences, Archangel provides many opportunities for terrible puns, Cyclops gets to be happy for a whole five pages, X-Factor learns how doors work, the X-kids are generous (except Boom Boom), Infectia makes monsters to fight the patriarchy, Ship is your cool aunt, and Destiny accidentally predicts Cable.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • Apocalypse versus Ed Wood
  • X-Factor #27-31
  • Superhero mortality
  • Star-crossed mugger romance
  • Marvel Girl as, and not as, Team Mom
  • The greatest line in all of X-Factor
  • Ship’s anatomical resemblances
  • Combat and relationship discussion multitasking
  • X-Men Evolution Syndrome
  • Iceman as joker-by-necessity
  • Infectia and the Anti-Bodies
  • Rambo Nukes Commando In Nicaragua
  • Wacky sitcom humor
  • Warren Worthington, PI
  • Earth 13122 and LEGO optic blasts
  • Musical careers of the X-Men

NEXT WEEK: Magik versus Forge.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 84 – The Fourth Horseman

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/29/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
I try, but I just cannot get past those faces. (X-Factor Annual #2)
Acerbic done-with-this-shit Cyclops is the best Cyclops. (X-Factor Annual #2)
QWOPsilver. (X-Factor Annual #2)
Contexts in which Medusa’s superpower is not ridiculous: Yeah, we couldn’t think of any, either. (X-Factor Annual #2)
WHOOPS. (X-Factor Annual #2)
Take away the window dressing, and Maximus’s evil plan is basically weaponized empathy. (X-Factor Annual #2)
‘Kay, then. (X-Factor Annual #2)
“And stop by HR on your way out so we can get your feedback!” (X-Factor #21)
Creepiest powersuits? Creepiest powersuits. (X-Factor #21)
You tried, buddy. (X-Factor #22)
YA THINK, SCOTT? (X-Factor #22)
Reluctant hero Boom Boom is so great. (X-Factor #22)
Look, she’s seen Die Hard, okay? (X-Factor #22)
Even though we know who this dude is gonna turn out to be, the escalation is legitimately pretty creepy. (X-Factor #22)
No, really? (X-Factor #22)
The official debut of Archangel! (X-Factor #23)
“I made it myself, out of RUBY QUARTZ JELLO!” (X-Factor #23)
You can almost hear the portentous minor chord at the end. (X-Factor #23)
NEXT WEEK: The final episode of Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts!

84 – The Fourth Horseman

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/29/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/29/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which Franklin Richards is the center of a disproportionate number of X-Men specials; Quicksilver without powers is comedy gold; Luna is the best little girl on the moon (but it’s kind of a low bar); Jay accidentally cares about the Inhumans; Jean Grey may or may not be the Wesley Willis of X-Factor; Cameron Hodge’s exit interview is weirdly professional; Boom Boom is the best reluctant hero; and Archangel makes his debut.

X-PLAINED:

  • Quicksilver’s team associations
  • Knights of Wundagore
  • Chthon
  • X-Factor Annual #2
  • X-Factor #21-23
  • The Inhumans
  • Black Bolt
  • Medusa
  • Crystal
  • Lockjaw
  • QWOP Quicksilver
  • Leech’s wildly inconsistent powers
  • Gorgon
  • Luna
  • Headbutting ghosts, or, why sentence structure matters
  • Maximus
  • Several methods of mind control
  • A really terrible place for a date
  • Cameron Hodge: Bureaucrat Supervillain
  • The last will & testament of Warren Worthington III
  • Another superpower pet peeve
  • A theoretical team-up we would love to see
  • The Arlington Interactive Museum of (evil) Science
  • Some really dumb armor
  • Archangel
  • Our preferred third Summers brothers

NEXT WEEK: Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 75 – By Their Deeds You Shall Know Them

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/20/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
It’s hard to be a mutant teenager. (X-Factor #16)
We kind of skirted this part of the storyline, because it makes us both super uncomfortable and we weren’t really sure what angle to approach it from. You do you. (X-Factor #16)
Boom Boom fits right in at X-Factor! (X-Factor #16)
“Triumphant strangulation” is not a phrase you get to use under very many circumstances. (X-Factor #16)
Well, no, but it’s a nice sentiment. (X-Factor #16)
WHOOPS. (X-Factor #17)
The kids are the only ones who are not treating this as business as usual. (X-Factor #17)
X-Factor is THE WORST at interventions. (X-Factor #17)
Bobby, now is probably not the best time to joke about flight safety. Also, I’m kind of genuinely horrified that they APPARENTLY KEEP SPARE UNIFORMS WHERE THE LIFE VESTS GO. This is like how in the LEGO Blackbird there’s a chair blocking the door of the cabinet with the fire extinguisher and… okay, look, I realize no one else cares about this. BUT IT BUGS ME. (X-Factor #17)
“Not that I don’t appreciate the rescue, but don’t you people ever use doors?” (X-Factor #17)
“NOPE!” (X-Factor #17)
Cameron Hodge is so good at villain speeches. (X-Factor #17)
FANCY THAT, SKIDS. (X-Factor #18)
“I mean, we’re gonna get brainwashed by Scott and Jean’s clone’s kid’s clone, and then join a cult; and I’ll get killed in space by Holocaust; but the Phoenix Force is definitely not involved in most of that.” (X-Factor #18)
Scott’s life is basically an ongoing game of Hallucination or Hologram right now. (X-Factor #18)
“Skids, sometimes when two grown-ups love each other very much, and one of them was briefly replaced by a cosmic force, and the other married her clone, and–look, just give us a minute, please.” (X-Factor #18)
Ouch. (X-Factor #18)
DUH. (X-Factor #18)
Oh, hi, Angel. (X-Factor #18)
“Nineteen issues in, and we STILL haven’t figured doors out.” (X-Factor #19)
Cyclops X-Plains superhero comics in a nutshell. (X-Factor #19)
THOSE ARE NOT HORSES. Awesome, but not horses. (X-Factor #19)
Have I mentioned that X-Factor is the worst at interventions? Because X-Factor is definitely the worst at interventions. (X-Factor #19)
Well, then. (X-Factor #19)
The kids X-Factor rescued remain by far and away the most functional aspect of the whole operation. (X-Factor #20)
NEXT WEEK: Rachel & Miles Live at Rose City Comic Con, with Ann Nocenti, Jeff Parker, and Christopher Yost!

75 – By Their Deeds You Shall Know Them

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/20/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/20/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which Masque is the worst Morlock; makeouts are a good reason to learn to control your powers; Cyclops and Marvel Girl are terrible role models; Iceman is the heart of X-Factor; Cameron Hodge finally shows his hand; the kids are all right (and probably the only ones who are); and we’ve basically given up on X-Factor ever learning to use doors.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Right
  • The Ani-Mator
  • X-Factor #16-20
  • Training with X-Factor
  • Skids’ backstory
  • Motivational makeouts
  • Miles’s Thor-ner
  • Thor #377-378
  • Why you don’t make deals with frost giants
  • The mystical realm of Pittsburgh
  • Redundant funeral graffiti
  • A totally rad villain speech
  • The evolution of Iceman
  • Dubious flight safety precautions
  • Rictor (Julio Esteban Richter)
  • Some really epic gaslighting
  • A probably-inevitable confrontation
  • Supervillain team-building exercises
  • Park maintenance

NEXT WEEK: Rachel & Miles Live at Rose City Comic Con; with Ann Nocenti, Jeff Parker, and Christopher Yost!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

 

As Mentioned in Episode 70 – Forget It, Jake; It’s X-Factor

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/23/2015 in the shop (also pencils skirts, ‘cause, why the hell not?) or contact David for the original.
SPOILER. (X-Factor #12)
Meanwhile, in a nearby sitcom… (X-Factor #12)
HI, BOOM BOOM! (X-Factor #12)
Seriously, though, THOSE DRAMATIC GESTURES! (X-Factor #12)
FUN FACT: In 1987, a sufficiently high Dig Dug score actually provided legal immunity from a number of petty misdemeanors in the state of New York! (X-Factor #12)
X-Factor: Trained superheroes; still haven’t really gotten the hang of doors. (X-Factor #12)
This will certainly end well. (X-Factor #13)
Oh, hi, that one photo of Jean! It’s been a while! (X-Factor #13)
Aw, these kids. (X-Factor #13)
I can’t figure out what kind of fish this is supposed to be, and it’s really bothering me. (X-Factor #13)
Cameron Hodge: Definitely the worst. (X-Factor #13)
Same story, different door. (X-Factor #13)
LOOK AT THAT AMAZING ZOMBIE ROBOT. LOOK. LOOK. (X-Factor #13)
Seriously, just buy some damn lockpicks already. (X-Factor #13)
Scott Summers’s life: literally an anxiety dream. (X-Factor #13)
Those Walter Simonson layouts, tho. Dang. (X-Factor #14)
Even Rusty and Skids can’t look away from the amazing soap opera. (X-Factor #14)
Aw, man. (X-Factor #14)
Trish, THERE IS A TIME AND A PLACE. (X-Factor #14)
“Oh, shit, we totally saved him from an inevitable and painful death! We’re monsters!” (X-Factor #14)
This cover is kind of hilarious. (X-Factor #15)
WHO KEEPS BRINGING HIM NEWSPAPERS? Probably Cameron Hodge. JERK. (X-Factor #15)
“Also, I think I might have a kid? I’m pretty sure there was a plot point about that last issue.” (X-Factor #15)
Caliban tries so hard. (X-Factor #15)
Due to lack of participation in X-Factor’s mandatory program of despair, Iceman has been temporary relocated to another book. (X-Factor #15)
I know this is supposed to be very poignant, but I can’t stop wondering why the hell Angel’s little private plane has fucking MISSILES. (X-Factor #15)
Well, I mean, it’s one way to get to Arizona. (X-Factor #15)
NEXT WEEK: Technoorganic blues!

LINKS, LINKS, LINKS!

  • Did you know there’s a ton of cool stuff to read and see at rachelandmiles.com? Obviously you do, since you’re already here.
  • David Wynne is the rad dude behind the illustrations you see at the top of every episode!
  • We have a Redbubble shop, where you can exchange money for all sorts of snazzy stuff, including a new, limited-run shirt every month…
  • …and if buttons are your bag, you can get those over at Strange Tomorrow!
  • While we’re being mercenary, you might as well go follow us on Twitter and Tumblr.

 

 

70 – Forget It, Jake; It’s X-Factor

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/23/2015 in the shop (also pencils skirts, ‘cause, why the hell not?) or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/23/2015 in the shop (also pencils skirts, ‘cause, why the hell not?) or contact David for the original.

In which everything is terrible; miscommunication triangles are way more awkward than love triangles; Boom Boom is universally delightful; Miles has feelings about ‘80s fashion; Apocalypse is judging your band posters; X-Factor still hasn’t gotten the hang of doors; Cyclops’s life continues to be an anxiety dream; the Twelve are better in foreshadowing than practice; and Angel dies as he lived: half-naked, at an airport.

X-PLAINED

  • The evolution of Angel
  • Cold opens
  • rachelandmiles.com
  • X-Factor so far
  • X-Factor #12-15
  • A miscommunication triangle
  • Boom Boom (Tabitha Smith)
  • Rachel’s Marc Silvestri causality loop
  • Boom Boom vs. Jubilee
  • Cameron disambiguation
  • Famine
  • Master Mold (more) (again)
  • The Twelve
  • Tanya Trask
  • Caliban

NEXT WEEK: Technoorganic blues!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 66 – The Mutant Massacre, Part 2

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/26/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
If this week’s illustration reminds you of last week’s, that’s because they’re two parts of this rad panorama! Again, prints are available until 7/26/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Mystique, what are you even doing? (X-Factor #9)
This, again. (X-Factor #9)
Passing privilege in action! (X-Factor #9)
That’s actually pretty clever. (X-Factor #9)
MOPPETS. (X-Factor #9)
Meanwhile in Apartment 3G… (X-Factor #10)
WRONG CHOICE, ANGEL. (X-Factor #10)
One horseman down, three to go. (X-Factor #10)
Damn, Jean. (X-Factor #10)
Ouch. (X-Factor #10)
OUCH. (X-Factor #10)
There is never a worst time to be a Power kid than during an X-line crossover. (Power Pack #27)
Everyone hates X-Factor. (Power Pack #27)
It really does kind of cheapen Sabretooth’s menace when a bunch of kids can take him down–even these kids. (Power Pack #27)
COMICS FOR KIDS. (Power Pack #27)
And then everything was sad forever. (Power Pack #27)
BEHOLD THIS MAJESTIC THUNDER GOD AND HIS MAJESTIC BEARD! (The Mighty Thor #373)
No, but seriously, though. (The Mighty Thor #373)
Thor has frog friends. (The Mighty Thor #373)
Have we mentioned that we love Thor? We love Thor. (The Mighty Thor #373)
There’s a reason that Walter Simonson is the gold standard for epic dialogue. (The Mighty Thor #374)
Aw. (The Mighty Thor #374)
There’s a lot of straight-up killing on the hero side of this event. (The Mighty Thor #374)
(X-Men #9, specifically.) (The Mighty Thor #374)
Thor: Definitely the best dude you know. (The Mighty Thor #374)
It’s funny, because miscommunication. (X-Factor #11)
“Run! It’s a crossover issue!” (X-Factor #11)
X-Factor drinking game: Drink every time someone has to explain the relationship between X-Factor and the X-Terminators. (X-Factor #11)
Halfway there, Apocalypse! (X-Factor #11)
Ouch. (X-Factor #11)
On the upside: Boom-Boom! (X-Factor #11)
NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants party like it’s 1299!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

  • Listen to Episode 65–The Mutant Massacre, Part 1–here!
  • You can find the Mutant Massacre reading order here.
  • Have you read Walter Simonson’s run of The Mighty Thor yet? You should really go do that. It starts here.

66 – The Mutant Massacre, Part 2

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/26/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/26/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which we wrap up our first official two-parter; Gambit ruins everything; Rachel has a theory about Mister Sinister; Marvel communication technology is behind the times; Trish Tilby is tired of your bullshit; Walter Simonson is the best of the best; X-Factor pulls it together; Power Pack gets uncomfortably dark; Miles has Thor feelings; and even more mutants die.

NOTE: This episode is the second of a two-parter! If you haven’t listened to Episode 65, where we cover the first half of the mutant massacre, you should probably do that before you listen to this one!

X-PLAINED:

  • Masque
  • Tentacle disambiguation
  • More of the Mutant Massacre
  • A Sinister hypothesis
  • Several Marauder-related retcons
  • X-Factor #9-11
  • Power Pack #27
  • The Mighty Thor #373-374
  • Trish Tilby
  • Artie & Leech
  • Several awkward reunions
  • Walter Simonson
  • The fall of Angel
  • Apocalypse’s horsemen
  • Yet another crossover that will probably scar the Power kids for life
  • Franklin Richards
  • Thor, Donald Blake, and Sigurd Jarlson
  • The best issue of any comic, ever.
  • The Tunnelers
  • Ongoing repercussions of the Mutant Massacre
  • Rachel & Miles’s horseman identities
  • Which X-Men could and should wield Mjolnir

NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants party like it’s 1299!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!