Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: longshot

72 – Thrown Under the Plot Bus

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/6/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/6/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which Dazzler is not a team player; Longshot is the Zonker Harris of the X-Men; Juggernaut is That Guy; Rachel and Miles channel Statler and Waldorf; and Alex Summers is seriously never, ever going to finish grad school.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mutant X
  • The only well-adjusted Scott Summers in the Multiverse
  • The Goblin Entity
  • Uncanny X-Men #217-219
  • The evolution of the X-Men’s lineup
  • Standards for a good twist
  • Doonesbury
  • Several Dungeons & Dragons analogies
  • A dubious literary allusion
  • Flying jeeps
  • CrimeBros
  • The fundamental tragedy of Longshot
  • Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart and several homages thereto
  • Geordie and Rupert
  • Havok (more) (again)
  • Car-wreck sex
  • An unfortunate end to a camping trip
  • The Plot Bus
  • Several ways to stat Rogue up as a D&D character
  • Narrative-friendly power sets

Special thanks to:

  • The wonderful Adam Warrock, for letting us sample his song “Teamwork” in this episode! You can listen to the full track here, and find more of Adam’s work at adamwarrock.com.
  • Harrison Barber for his X-Pert D&D advice (not to mention nearly fifteen years of tolerating our nonsense at the gaming table)!

NEXT WEEK: X-Men: Evolution with Robert N. Skir!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 63 – Wildways

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Listen to the episode here!

Guest art by Ryan Hill.
Can we take a moment to acknowledge how rad this cover is? Because it is pretty darn rad. (New Mutants Annual #2)
It really, really sucks to be Psylocke a lot of the time. (New Mutants Annual #2)
I’m gonna go with “because you are absolutely delightful,” Doug. (New Mutants Annual #2)
TELEVISION IS BAD FOR YOU. (New Mutants Annual #2)
It also sucks to be Captain Britain fairly frequently, although still generally less than it sucks to be Psylocke. (New Mutants Annual #2)
Illyana is the best at chores. (New Mutants Annual #2)
Mojo is the best at being TERRIFYING. (New Mutants Annual #2)
Well, then. (New Mutants Annual #2)
No, not THAT Jubilee. The other Jubilee. (New Mutants Annual #2)
Warlock has some parent issues. (New Mutants Annual #2)
Subtext: not just for the ladies! (New Mutants Annual #2)
Somewhere in this, there’s a metaphor about unprotected sex. (New Mutants Annual #2)
Dang, Psylocke. (New Mutants Annual #2)
“Aw” or “Ew,” depending on your vague guess at Betsy’s age at this point in continuity. (New Mutants Annual #2)
While X-Men and New Mutants will shortly start crossing over in the series proper, this was the second consecutive year they had interconnected annuals. (X-Men Annual #10)
Danger Room open. Take a drink. (X-Men Annual #10)
VALID QUESTIONS. (X-Men Annual #10)
Welcome to the X-Men, Longshot! Hope you survive the experience! (X-Men Annual #10)
Teen Magneto always looks super smug, presumably because of his excellent hair. (X-Men Annual #10)
Meet the proto-X-Babies! (X-Men Annual #10)
Fun fact: For a long time, Wolverine’s claws were believed to be–and written as–technology rather than an aspect of his mutation. (X-Men Annual #10)
These graduation costumes look like things you would make someone wear as part of some kind of oblique punishment. (X-Men Annual #10)
The second round of graduation costumes weren’t much better. (New Mutants #61)
Darla is inexplicably dressed as Li’l Orphan Annie, which might make this a meta cameo. (X-Men Annual #10)
These costumes are not okay, but Magneto’s is 100% less okay than any of the others. (Note: in other panels, the arm band is generally colored red.) (X-Men Annual #10)
I am totally willing to believe that the Simonsons can comprehend the language of beasts, or at least of Thor’s frog bros. (X-Men Annual #10)
The X-Men are uncharacteristically bloodthirsty throughout this issue. (X-Men Annual #10)
‘Kay. (X-Men Annual #10)
AGHHHHHHHHHH (X-Men Annual #10)
You only have two more days to get June’s shirt of the month: Three Wolverine Moon, by Tyler Crook!
Next Week: APOCALYPSE NOW

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

ART CHALLENGE: Design a new graduation costume for one or more of the New Mutants! Send your designs to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com, with the subject line GRADUATION, and we’ll collect ‘em on the blog at the end of the week!

63 – Wildways

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Guest art by Ryan Hill!
Guest art by Ryan Hill!

In which cartoon logic is terrifying; it’s immensely frustrating to be Doug Ramsey; Psylock gets evil robot eyes; queer subtext is not just for the ladies; Danger Room cold opens are the new Kitty’s costume changes; Mojo predicts reality TV; Longshot joins the X-Men; and we answer what may be the best question we have ever gotten.

X-PLAINED:

  • Captain Britain Corps
  • Alan Davis
  • New Mutants Annual #2
  • X-Men Annual #10
  • Captain Britain (Brian Braddock)
  • Psylocke (Betsy Braddock)
  • Slaymaster
  • Mojo
  • Why cartoon logic is terrifying
  • Animal Man vol. 1 #5, “The Coyote Gospel” (Incorrectly described as “The Ballad of Wile E. Coyote” in episode)
  • Wildways
  • Robot eyes
  • Template
  • Snitch
  • Straight Arrow
  • Jubilee (but not that Jubilee)
  • The trouble with determining character ages in superhero comics
  • The stated mission of the New Mutants
  • The proto-X-Babies
  • Longshot’s X-Men debut
  • The New Mutants’ graduation costumes
  • A really charged costume choice
  • Tonal shifts in New Mutants
  • X-Men vs. geese

NEXT WEEK: APOCALYPSE NOW!

ART CHALLENGE: Design a new graduation costume for one or more of the New Mutants! Send your designs to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com, with the subject line GRADUATION, and we’ll collect ‘em on the blog at the end of the week!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Special thanks to Ryan Hill for this week’s art, and to Claire Miller for the research X-Pertise!

 

As Mentioned in Episode 49 – Of Mullets and Miracles

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/29/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
The man, the myth, the Patient Zero of the ’90s (visually, anyway)! (Longshot #1)
So, basically, this is Secret Wars II, done right. (Longshot #1)
“I see by your outfit that you are a glam survivalist!” Fun fact: Rachel inextricably associates the song “The Streets of Laredo” with the movie Night on Earth. (Longshot #1)
A PERFECTLY NORMAL PUPPY. (Longshot #1)
GAH. Seriously, who DOES that? (Longshot #1)
Talk to your doctor about psychometry, today! (Longshot #1)
Oh. I guess THAT’S who does that. (Longshot #1)
“Plus, y’know, it’s the title of the miniseries.” (Longshot #1)
RICOCHET RITA IS THE BEST! (Longshot #2)
Seriously, So awesome. (Longshot #2)
ORDINARY. PUPPY. (Longshot #2)
Longshot’s previous life was pretty intense. (Longshot #2)
Of course, his current life is kinda rough, too. (Longshot #2)
Would it be too awful to describe this layout as “Artful”? TOO LATE. (Longshot #3)
Aw, Jinx. (Longshot #3)
JJJ, never change. You’re delightful. (Longshot #3)
Aw, Longshot. (Longshot #3)
A SHOCKING TWIST! (Longshot #3)
Meanwhile, in more recognizable corners of the Marvel Universe… (Longshot #4)
Star Slammers! (Longshot #4)
Nocenti is many things as a writer, but “subtle” is probably not one of them. (Longshot #4)
Mojo is terrifying. (Longshot #4)
He’s not wrong. When he’s not the PoV character, Spider-Man comes off as a huge jerk. (Longshot #4)
Not actually episode-relevant, except inasmuch as Rita is the best and her dog is named Saxaphone (sic). (Longshot #4)
DO NOT ENTER THE DOG PARK DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE THE DOG PARK (Longshot #4)
Pup is a complex guy with complex feelings on complex subjects. (Longshot #5)
HI, QUARK! (Longshot #5)
Aw, Rita. (Longshot #5)
I was gonna rewrite some Tom Bombadil poetry for the caption to this, but it’s late and I’m tired, so let’s maybe just take that as read. (Longshot #5)
Have you ever read the Edward Gorey story “The Beastly Baby”? (Longshot #5)
Aw, Rita. (Longshot #6)
“I see by our outfits that we are the protagonists of an early arcade beat-’em-up.” (Longshot #6)
Gahhhhhhhhh. (Longshot #6)
Saddest three panels in the series. Seriously. Stop and think for a moment about what’s happening here, and what Longshot doesn’t know. (Longshot #6)
Spoiler: Nope. (Longshot #6)
Longshot Saves the Marvel Universe is DELIGHTFUL.
NEXT WEEK: The trial of Magneto!

LINKS:

  • Dr. Evermor’s is seriously amazing. If you’re ever in the neighborhood of Sumpter, WI, you should check it out.

49 – Of Mullets and Miracles

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | Email | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/29/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/29/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which we meet Miles’s favorite X-Man; Longshot is Secret Wars II done right; we are fairly committed to the idea of Ann Nocenti as a post-apocalyptic daredevil superhero; Longshot is patient zero of the ‘90s; Ricochet Rita is the best; luck is a zero-sum commodity; Mojo is legitimately terrifying; and nuance is Longshot’s secret weakness.

X-PLAINED:

  • Spiral
  • The Body Shop
  • Several ill-advised body swaps
  • Longshot
  • Longshot
  • Rachel Summers Syndrome
  • The evolution of Art Adams
  • The metaphysics of luck
  • The secret origin of pouches
  • A large number of pop culture allusions
  • Glam survivalists
  • Psychometry
  • Moral complexity
  • Gog’n’Magog
  • Ricochet Rita
  • The social economics of jetpacks
  • A whole lot of social satire and commentary
  • Star Slammers
  • Mojo
  • The Mojoverse
  • Luck as a zero-sum commodity
  • Arize
  • Quark
  • Longshot and Dazzler’s star sigils
  • Finding (or creating) your comics community

NEXT WEEK: The Trial of Magneto!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

3 – Cartoons, Lies, and Video Tape

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Featuring Emergency Backup Co-Host Chris Sims!

In which Rachel and Chris X-plain three cartoons and track a disagreement to its source; Gambit is definitely the worst person you know; Broadcasting Standards and Practices is tired of your death ceremonies; Storm doesn’t have an inside voice; and we finally get around to mentioning that one dude with the claws.

X-Plained:

  • Weaponized creepiness
  • The evolution (and Evolution) of X-Toons
  • Why you hate Cyclops (and Rachel doesn’t)
  • Adaptation overload
  • Broadcast standards, practices, and laser rifles
  • How to order pizza like a weather goddess
  • A paramilitary after-school club
  • G-Rated Wolverine
  • Comics based on cartoons based on comics
  • Morph
  • The Batman Standard
  • The Wolverine and the X-Men trifecta of perfection
  • Why the Mojoverse works better on TV
  • Dazzler’s secret second job
  • Basic jacketry

CORRECTION: In this episode, Rachel mentions that Morph’s first comics appearance is in Exiles. It’s not: he’s in Age of Apocalypse. Mea culpa.

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!