Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Lucas Bishop

267 – The Saddest Joyride

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Emma Frost is a better Iceman than Bobby Drake; Generation X is aggressively foreshadowed; Malcolm and Randall are the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to Bishop’s Hamlet; and we launch a campaign for our own Multiversal designation.

X-PLAINED:

  • The first time the X-Men met Emma Frost
  • Uncanny X-Men 314-315
  • X-Men Annual #18
  • A game show nobody should ever under any circumstances actually make
  • Emma Frost’s recruitment tactics
  • Previously unexplored ice powers
  • The direct prelude to Generation X
  • Caliban (more) (again)
  • SoftPaws(TM)
  • The giant squids of New York
  • The neophyte
  • A trial, kind of
  • X-Men power fantasies
  • Earth-X-Plain

NEXT EPISODE: We’re so close to nearly reaching what’s almost the Phalanx Covenant!

Game show music by MusicManiac301; used with permission.

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As Mentioned in Episode 262 – Science Fiction Double Feature

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
He’s a fun guy. (X-Men #311)
Aw. (X-Men #311)
Uncool, Sabretooth. Uncool. (X-Men #311)
Bishop is rad as hell. (X-Men #311)
See, this is why you should’ve taken her to the movies. (X-Men #311)
Emma’s got a new look. (X-Men #312)
Cool, but not the coolest. (X-Men #313)
No freakin’ kidding. (X-Men #313)
Ah, THAT’S the coolest. (X-Men #313)
Storm is so cool. (X-Men #313)
This club is the worst. (X-Men #311)
The Phalanx, in a small fraction of its glory. (X-Men #312)
They’re very good friends. (X-Men #312)
Gambit is legitimately fairly charming, at least as drawn by Joe Madureira. (X-Men #312)
One of several shovel talks. (X-Men #312)
Oh, snap. (X-Men #312)
Familiar faces, and somewhat less familiar bodies. (X-Men #312)
And then, another shovel talk. (X-Men #312)
NEXT EPISODE: Remember this dude?

The Designing X-Women art isn’t online yet, but when it is, we’ll drop a link here!

262 – Science Fiction Double Feature

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Phalanx would make pretty fun novelty candy; “B-Plot” implies that we only have 26; nobody will take Jubilee to the movies; Repo Man and Repo: The Genetic Opera are in fact two entirely different films; Storm is a fashion icon; Sabretooth is the monster in the basement; it’s really rough to be the kid on the X-Men; Yuko gives Gambit a shovel talk; and a number of familiar faces return to the page.

X-PLAINED:

  • One of the many problems with Sentinels
  • Uncanny X-Men #311-313
  • Whether the Phalanx is squishy
  • Robo-Candy
  • Plotline disambiguation
  • A cult classic
  • Carl the X-Cutioner (again)
  • Creative use of Bishop’s powers
  • Storm fashion
  • Technical difficulties
  • A decision Iceman will come to regret
  • Bishop vs. Sabretooth
  • What If Vol. 2 #87
  • Variations on Iceman’s appearance
  • Early seeds of Generation X
  • A night out with Yukio
  • A heavily euphemized relationship
  • Xavier’s mutant underground
  • The Phalanx
  • A shovel talk
  • The return of Steven Lang (and some other people)
  • How Cyclops cries
  • Cassandra Nova’s signature look

NEXT EPISODE: Additional and Varyingly Literal Blasts from the Past

NOTE: Per our expert source Doctor Internet, what Miles knows as “water weenies” are mostly sold as “water wigglers” or “water snakes.”

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 253 – Autumn in the Uncanny Valley

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Aw, these kids. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
THEY’RE SO BAD AT BEING PEOPLE AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
I also love them. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Really, this is one of those issues that just makes me want the X-Men to always be happy and never have to do any superhero stuff. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Fucking hawks, always poaching passes on the gridiron. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Jean “Grab fate by the throat and hold on until it stops moving” Grey. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
What do YOU think Jean is saying here? Fill in her word balloon for a chance to, I dunno, I guess we could publish a gallery of them? (Uncanny X-Men #208)
The second scariest face in this issue. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Excellent use of ironic juxtaposition, there. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
It’s very text-heavy in Charles Xavier’s brain. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
“Now, let’s talk about my silvery mane.” (Uncanny X-Men #209)
I bet he wouldn’t be so depressed if he knew how good his depression beard looked! (Uncanny X-Men #209)
WHY DOES NOBODY IN THIS UNIVERSE HAVE APPROPRIATE PROFESSIONAL BOUNDARIES?! (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Version 1. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Version 2. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Ah, there it is. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
“Funny, I don’t remember that day being quite so caption-heavy.” (Uncanny X-Men #210)
“Later, we’re all going to go break into the zoo and flash the zebras. Trust us. It’s TRADITION.” (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Not a lot, Carl. Not a lot. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
“Look, Nathan, this is basically how we bond in my family.” (Uncanny X-Men #210)
He just hangs out in that position. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
“Let’s see. I went after a man in hospice care and got my ass kicked. What’s even lower-hanging fruit?” (Uncanny X-Men #210)
I can’t stop imagining them having to bat those captions out of the way as they run forward. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
He looks so mad about it! (Uncanny X-Men #210)
NEXT EPISODE: Obviously.

LINKS & FURTHER HEADLINES

253 – Autumn in the Uncanny Valley

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which an engagement begins; Jean Grey’s Walden Puddle counterpart is definitely Nicole; Cyclops is the telepathic equivalent of a pit trap with spikes at the bottom; Charles Xavier’s subconscious is very dialogue-heavy; nobody ever has appropriate professional boundaries; Cable dabbles in passive aggression; and the best is yet to come.

X-PLAINED:

  • Some of Blaquesmith’s recent activities
  • Uncanny X-Men #308-310
  • A very sweet retcon
  • Thanksgiving “traditions”
  • How to scare crows
  • Emplates
  • Feelings and telepathy
  • A proposal
  • A misprint
  • Thanksgiving at the Xavier School
  • A somewhat alarming manifestation of a conscience
  • The lies Charles Xavier tells himself
  • Xavier’s depression beard
  • The evolution of Amelia Voght
  • Angry Claremontean Narrator: The Movie
  • The anticlimactic return of Carl “X-Cutioner” Denti
  • An unexpected resolution
  • Foreshadowing
  • Trans voices in the larger comics conversation

NEXT EPISODE: The wedding!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

HAPPY PRIDE! This month, we’re donating all of the proceeds from our TeePublic shopto Trans Lifeline!

As Mentioned in Episode 238 – Meet Them Where They Are

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
You can get this shirt–and other rad stuff–over at our teepublic store.
THAT MUSTACHE! (X-Force #26)
Bobby’s “tell your friends that their friends are dead” outfit is somewhat nontraditional, but I’m digging it.
Damnit, Rictor. (X-Force #26)
That “X-Gear” label raises some questions. Do they manufacture their own line of exercise wear? (X-Force #26)
KLIK (X-Force #26)
Reignfire definitely owns several electric guitars, right? (X-Force #26)
Ewwwwww. (Uncanny X-Men #305)
Opal deserves better, forever. (Uncanny X-Men #305)
Meet Louis “Samuel ‘Mark Twain’ Clemens” St. Croix. (Uncanny X-Men #305)
Oh, right, it’s The Year of the Flesh Ribbons. (Uncanny X-Men #305)
DIDJA MISS HIM?! (Uncanny X-Men #306)
Those faces… Romita… noooo… (Uncanny X-Men #306)
Hi, Candy! (Uncanny X-Men #306)
Ororo Munroe: wind rider, fashion queen! (Uncanny X-Men #306)
Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #306)
Oh. Oh, no. (Uncanny X-Men #306)
EAT IT, HODGE. (Uncanny X-Men #306)
NEXT EPISODE: Maximoffstravaganza, feat. Max Carleton!

LINKS & FURTHER RESURRECTIONS

238 – Meet Them Where They Are

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which X-Force is the new New Mutants; Professor is what Cable has instead of a burn book; Cable develops emotional literacy; Jay has a lot of feelings about Shatterstar; Cowboys can be wizards, too; you really shouldn’t call adult people “child”; privilege is truly the greatest superpower; Cameron Hodge remains improbably difficult to kill; Candy Southern gets to write the ending to her own story; and Emerald City Comic Con is coming up REALLY fast!

  • X-PLAINED:
    Reignfire
  • Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con
  • Some new merch
  • X-Force #26
  • Uncanny X-Men #305-306
  • The evolution of Tabitha Smith’s code name
  • X-Force and its members (more) (again)
  • Professor’s narrative function
  • A sudden mustache and its potential implications
  • A lot of things about Shatterstar
  • Cable as a leader
  • Armor full of skin
  • Louis St. Croix and/or Mark Twain
  • An inappropriate nickname
  • The first Xavier school prom
  • Inflatable erotic accessory semantics
  • The return of Candy Southern
  • The return of Cameron Hodge
  • Moral event horizons and how to handle them in comics
  • Pros and cons of dating telepaths

NEXT EPISODE: A Maximoffstravaganza, feat. Max Carleton

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Come see us at Emerald City Comic Con!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 231 – Life Bites

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I feel like this cover is generally a good metaphor for the 1993 Marvel annuals. (X-Factor Annual #8)
Just once, I want this setup to turn out to be a red herring. (X-Factor Annual #8)
Random is either time displaced or the world’s most precocious gamete. (X-Factor Annual #8)
And that’s why you always leave a note! (X-Factor Annual #8)
Remember that time Strong Guy called out casual ableism and it was AWESOME? (X-Factor Annual #8)
Well, that was an unexpected turn. (X-Factor Annual #8)
The real question is how many of them summon him in order to make fun of his name. (X-Factor Annual #8)
For some value of “deadly,” at least. (X-Factor Annual #8)
Aw, Guido. (X-Factor Annual #8)
Good dog. (X-Factor Annual #8)
Teleports more than walks, really. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
“Honestly, he really has no idea what the hell he’s doing.” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
They even have their own entrance music. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
Okay. This looks bad. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
Grey-Summers problems. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
This seems pretty fundamentally unfair. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
You’re not wrong. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
OH, SNAP. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
He’ll be okay. Kind of. Eventually. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
“By the way, has anyone ever told you that you have a crayon name? Because you totally have a crayon name. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
Yep. (Excalibur Annual #1)
Kitty X-Plains your dreams. (Excalibur Annual #1)
When will Excalibur learn that nothing good ever comes from hanging out with wizards. (Excalibur Annual #1)
Nothing good… except for THIS DUDE! (Excalibur Annual #1)
This is Captain Britain’s M.O. in a nutshell. (Excalibur Annual #1)
“Guys, we’re playing Spelljammer now.” (Excalibur Annual #1)
Meanwhile, with Technet. (Excalibur Annual #1)
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur goes to space!

LINKS & OTHER AMENITIES:

You can make your own Sienna Blaze lipstick!

While it’s setting, why not read more about the 1993 Marvel annuals and Evan Skolnick’s D&D campaign!

Or you could watch The Gamers and develop a deeper understanding of Jay’s joke about Captain Britain at the gaming table.

And there’s always Episode 21 – Kurt Busiek at the Coffee-a-Go-Go, where we delve deep into the wonders of Metoxo the Lava Man!

231 – Life Bites

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which DC is out of our bailiwick; Random gets around; someone finally makes an explicit reference to disability politics; death has not improved the Chalkers; Strong Guy can’t catch a break; we’re all whole other people; Sienna Blaze has a crayon name; we totally want to play D&D with Evan Skolnick; a trading card does not a memorable character make; and we are 100% here for the mutant episode of Sesame Street.

  • X-PLAINED:
  • What happened to Fred Duncan
  • Beastwriting
  • Marvel’s 1993 Annuals
  • The speculator boom
  • X-Factor Annual #8
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #17
  • Excalibur Annual #1
  • Charlie Ronalds (Charon) and his issues
  • A protracted Batman reference
  • How to string pearls
  • A dubious twist on the danger room
  • The pure joy of a child, but twisted and distorted like a shredded butterfly
  • Cloot (Satannish)
  • Howling Mad, by Peter David
  • The greatest enemies of X-Factor (but not really)
  • Cruel and arbitrary moralizing
  • The other X-Cutioner (Carl Denti)
  • A protracted illusion
  • The Amazing Icemaster
  • Metacommentary
  • An accidental trap
  • The death of Jason Wyngarde (Mastermind)
  • Resolution versus forgiveness
  • The other first appearance of Sienna Blaze
  • More wizard stuff
  • Khaos
  • Khaos & Gritty 4 Lyfe
  • Ghath
  • Irth
  • Mutants on Sesame Street
  • Cycling in and out of comics

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur goes to space!

CORRECTION: Chris Claremont did not in fact write Dragonlance comics.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 228 – Thinkin’ Shorts

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I mean, it’s not that much worse than Botox. (Uncanny X-Men #301)
Of all the people Gamesmaster could choose to bring to the forefront of his mind, he chose these assholes. (Uncanny X-Men #301)
I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING (Uncanny X-Men #301)
Yes, yes, you’ve made some terrible mistakes, Forge – but at least you’re wearing those shorts again! (Uncanny X-Men #301)
Miles would totally buy that action figure. (Uncanny X-Men #301)
This is how you comic book. (Uncanny X-Men #301)
Damn, Romita. Damn, Storm. (Uncanny X-Men #302)
Just repeat to yourself: it’s just a show, I should really just relax! (Uncanny X-Men #302)
Plato called this “the noble lie”. (Uncanny X-Men #302)
You know, I guess that is about how you’d have to angle your hips if you were balancing on one leg because some green-haired jerk from the future cut off your other one. (Uncanny X-Men #302)
Should’ve known that guy was a racist asshole – look at the color of his baseball cap. (Uncanny X-Men #302)
Can’t blame the guy – for being furious or for pummeling Fitzroy. (Uncanny X-Men #302)
Yes, Jay, Kitty looks pretty weird in this panel, but – FEELINGS! (Uncanny X-Men #302)
Dammit, Friends of Humanity, give Madrox his outfit back! And also stop being murderous bigots! (X-Force #24)
Rusty and Skids have been focusing pretty hard on good posture since leaving the New Mutants. (X-Force #24)
Who has the worse employees, Sam Guthrie or Alex Summers? (X-Force #24)
“Thanks for holding me up while I practice my Liefeld kicks, buddy!” (X-Force #24)
Petey the Dog reference: $34.95. Improbable toaster gun: $1750.00. The look on Grizzly’s face: priceless.(X-Force #24)
Magneto is the best at Space Tetris. (X-Force #24)
Boom-Boom and Feral: best frenemies ever. (X-Force #24)
Remember, at least two of these characters used to train with X-Factor. (X-Force #24)
Boom-Boom and Feral: still the best frenemies ever. (X-Force #24)
Fair enough, kids. (X-Force #24)
Jay’s Warlock figure still kinda freaks Miles out.
Next time: our fifth annual Giant-Size Winter Special!