As Mentioned in Episode 494 – You’ve Got Evil Mail

July 29, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Is Thunderbird cosplaying Colossus? (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Meet Neal Shaara! Or sometimes Neal Sharra, depending on who’s writing! (X-Men Unlimited #27)

In which Karima Shapandar literally jump-kicks her way into the issue. (See also the 1977 kung fu film The Invincible Armour.) (X-Men Unlimited #27)

And you haven’t even met Maggott yet! (X-Men Unlimited #27)

embarrassed_werewolf sounds like part of an auto-generated Reddit username. (X-Men Unlimited #27)

“Crap, instead of zapping them with the Robot Servant Ray, we zapped them with the Main Character Ray!” (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Aww, Sanjit. (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Hope you survive the experience! (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Check out Gambit’s sideways-Legion hair! And Beast’s Banshee disguise! (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Darkstar speaks for us all. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

This ain’t Beast’s first brainwashing rodeo. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Listen, the Darkforce is just cool, okay? (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Dis not what Gambit had in mind. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

More like the Golden Death, really. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Darkstar’s face is the same as Miles’s when he first discovered Cloud/Sephiroth slash almost 30 years ago. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

“No, my only weaknesses – rain and tasers!” (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Technology safety tip: if you get a suspicious email, blow up your computer! (X-Men Annual 2000)

Adorable downtime! (X-Men Annual 2000)

I love these goofballs so much. (X-Men Annual 2000)

Rogue learned a lot of things during her time with Magneto, like: if you have a problem, throw it into space. (X-Men Annual 2000)

The focused totality of her cutting your goddamn head off. (X-Men Annual 2000)

Everyone just looks really cool here. That’s the only significance. (X-Men Annual 2000)

GUN ARRRRRRMMMSSSSS (X-Men Annual 2000)

That’s some Claremont dialogue, alright (complimentary). (X-Men Annual 2000)

I guess that’s why Stryfe’s not too concerned with peripheral vision. Explains the helmet. (X-Men Annual 2000)

NEXT TIME: The Goth!

494 – You’ve Got Evil Mail

July 20, 2025 Jay 9 comments

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In which the X-Men zealously protect their trademarks; Cable can have as many moms as he wants to; not everyone should have to be a superhero; Lady Deathstrike knows how to handle unauthorized emails; and somehow there are still more gun arms.

X-PLAINED:

Lady Deathstrike
X-Men Unlimited #27-28
X-Men Annual 2000
One reason to recycle code names
Thunderbird III (Neal Shaara)
Sanjit Shaara and his electronic diary
Karima Shapandar
Bastion and the Prime Sentinels (again) (briefly)
Omega Prime Sentinels
Rebirth Island and what lurks there
Darkstar (Laynia Petrovna)
Unusual disturbances
Whether Gambit sleeps
The Black Death
Internet security training with Bastion
The genealogy of Nora Ephron romantic comedy You’ve Got Mail
Fashion
Stryfe (again) (briefly)
Psylocke’s telekinetic katana
Interactions between Madelyne Pryor and her large adult son
Spiral’s Body Shop

NEXT EPISODE: The Brotherhood targets Senator Kelly… again.

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454 – X-Men ’97, Part 2

June 30, 2024 Miles 13 comments

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SPOILER WARNING: ALL OF THEM, NONSTOP

In which Barry Windsor-Smith is too sexy for television; we know what happens when unstable molecules get struck by lightning; X-Men gets political and does it spectacularly; this Captain America would not sew the cape; Magneto continues to throw things into space; and they kissed and we missed it.

X-PLAINED:

Fabian Cortez’s name
X-Men ’97 episodes 6-10
Lifedeath I & II: a surprising adaptation
Varying levels of going in blind
A somewhat different and possibly better Forge
The Adversary vs. the Owl Queen
Stormiest and least-Stormy costumes
Professor Charles Xavier, Official Space Boyfriend
Colonialism vs. Identity
Delayed catharsis
The narrative power of altered opening credits
What makes allyship effective (and not)
Justified mutant anger
The worst version of Nina DaCosta
What makes Prime Sentinels scary
Summers family feels
The best damned fight scenes out there
Bastion, robo-avatar of conservative white patriarchy
Simultaneous crossovers
A psychic gay bar
A last boss arena
Acolyte equivalencies
Phoenix Ex Machina
Crying
Whether Magneto was right
Apoca-futures and Apoca-pasts
A bulletin board and our hopes for its contents
Soft Serve
Kitty Pryde’s coffee shop AU
X-Men ’97 as the perfect gateway

NEXT EPISODE: Skrulls!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

The Judgment of Magneto by Asher Elbein

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As Mentioned in Episode 423 – Moby Dick Ice Cream

September 10, 2023 Jay Leave a comment

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Probably not even the fanciest trash can on Muir Island. (Excalibur #121)

She’s fun. (Excalibur #121)

It’s no SMEK, but it’ll do.

What’s doubly interesting about this is that David’s personality isn’t actually there. (Excalibur #121)

And off they go. (Excalibur #121)

Hmm. (Excalibur #122)

That’s a lot of hair. (Excalibur #122)

Spoiler: Not actually the X-Men. (Excalibur #122)

The Mimic and his beard. (Excalibur #122)

The sound of love. (Excalibur #122)

Aw, those wacky kids. (Excalibur #123)

The now-beardless Mimic. (Excalibur #123)

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor explodes.

423 – Moby Dick Ice Cream

September 10, 2023 Jay 6 comments

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In which subtlety is not Sabra’s strong point; Moira takes a vacation; Meggan broods; you should take care in referencing the Dark Phoenix Saga; Excalibur may or may not shave Mimic; and Captain Britain is a silly man.

X-PLAINED:

Ghosts
Excalibur #121-123
The Mutant Underground
Empathic recon
An extremely disgruntled kiss
Kitty’s new costume
Several of Legion’s personalities
A mysterious disk
A very fancy trash can and/or ice cream maker
Ice cream of Cloud City
A good dog
Remains of Operation Zero Tolerance
The devolution of Douglock
Mimic (Calvin Rankin)
Mimic’s facial hair
Some Prime Sentinels
Wedding planning
Liking parts of things
Villains who want to marry Storm
Maddy Pryor

NEXT EPISODE: The end of X-Factor!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 394 – We All Have to Go Sometime

December 11, 2022 Jay Leave a comment

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

It’s the OZT broadcast that keeps on giving! (X-Men #66)

Cecilia Reyes, reluctant hero. (X-Men #66)

I really thought this was a callback to a bit of Iceman’s Silver Age origin story, but it is not. (X-Men #66)

Here for the meme. (X-Men #66)

Sabra, puncher of cars, owner of the world’s most durable bra. (X-Men #67)

Speaking of callbacks. (X-Men #68)

I know that Marrow is not actually supposed to be kicking herself in the face here, but I can’t see it any other way. (X-Men #68)

Can you imagine a more awkward person to get stuck in a bathroom conversation with than Henry Peter Gyrich? (X-Men #68)

Again, here for your Internet use. (X-Men #68)

Sabra’s costume is fairly cool. (X-Men #68)

HOW DOES SHE SAY THAT MUCH WHILE JUMPING OUT OF THE WATER DOLPHIN-STYLE? (X-Men #69)

And that’s that, sort of. (X-Men #69)

NEXT EPISODE: Bastion and his fleshy appendages!

LINKS & FURTHER LIFE LESSONS:

Nearly 40 years after Secret Wars II, Spider-Man is still teaching people to poop.

394 – We All Have to Go Sometime

December 4, 2022 Jay 15 comments

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In which there’s always room for another X-cast; Cecilia Reyes wasn’t even supposed to be here today; Sabra has indestructible underwear; prime sentinels are probably even worse pets than quail; Marrow probably swears more than superhero comics allow for; and Operation Zero Tolerance comes to an end.

X-PLAINED:

The original proposed ending of Operation Zero Tolerance
The actual ending of Operation Zero Tolerance
X-Men #66-69
Operation Zero Tolerance (so far)
Prime Sentinels (again)
Bastion (more) (again)
Spidey and His Amazing Friends
Cecilia Reyes
The most reluctant X-Men
Nanomachines
Trust
Miles’s least favorite X-Men story
Sabra
Superheroes who wear white
Wizard dogs
Indestructible undergarments
Angie Quail
Candy Southern (again)
Actual quail
Bones
Metal Gear Solid
Officers Aguinal and Cleaveland
The sound of a soul losing its shape
One of many problems with the carceral system
What men do in bathrooms
A showdown
Operation Zero Tolerance in retrospect
Silly superhero names
Non-mutant characters who pair well with X-Men

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Bastion’s secret origin!

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As Mentioned in Episode 393 – Camping With Uncle Mustang

November 27, 2022 Jay Leave a comment

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Aw, man. (Wolverine #115)

Go, Jubilee! (Wolverine #115)

It never really gets old. (Wolverine #115)

Five X-Men in an elevator. (Wolverine #115)

Meet Mustang! (Wolverine #116)

“Hey. Hey. Wake up. Hey.” (Wolverine #116)

Aw, Mustang, no. (Wolverine #116)

Definitely the creepiest version of the Prime Sentinels. (Wolverine #117)

Dr. Whatever-his-name-is and his fancy mad-science lab. (Wolverine #117)

Been a (traumatic) while. (Wolverine #117)

The inevitable finally occurs. (Wolverine #117)

NEXT EPISODE: The Mostly New and Different X-Men!

393 – Camping With Uncle Mustang

November 27, 2022 Jay 8 comments

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In which Operation Zero Tolerance continues; the X-Men take over Wolverine; wolverine is the designated John McClane of the X-Men; torsos are confusing places; and we sincerely hope that Jean Grey got to do some off-panel dating.

X-PLAINED:

Bastion’s priorities
Operation Zero Tolerance (so far)
Wolverine #115-118
How to villainously declaim
Mustang
Roustabouts
Waking up with the X-Men
Where (some) Prime Sentinels come from
Fatality, kind of
Felipe, Arvell, and Helmut
Inevitability
A reunion
Government intervention
Anatomy
Jaz disks
Friendship
Jean Grey’s romantic history
The League of Nations vs. The League of Nathans

NEXT EPISODE: Mostly New and Different X-Men!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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