Sally Blevins – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 418 – Reignfirefighters

July 23, 2023 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Those youth and their hijinks! (X-Force #77)

This is the branch of S.H.I.E.L.D. that shows up to assure you that all you saw was a weather balloon. (X-Force #77)

I’m never gonna be able to see a superhero conversation on a swingset without thinking of the Justice League Unlimited episode “Epilogue.” (X-Force #77)

The return of the bunny slippers! (X-Force #78)

Aw, Skids. (X-Force #78)

Some very good pacing. (X-Force #78)

Reignfire X-Plains Reignfire, somewhat. (X-Force #79)

Well, shit. (X-Force #79)

Fun Fact: Psychic powers work better when they look cooler. (X-Force #80)

Oh, dear me. (X-Force #80)

Dr. Joshua X-Plains Reignfire. (X-Force #80)

The Elvis windows really make this scene. (X-Force #80)

One more Elvis, for good measure. (X-Force #80)

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X and the Seven Dwarves!

418 – Reignfirefighters

July 23, 2023 Jay 9 comments

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In which S.H.I.E.L.D. agents are scarier in suits; Reignfire is the new Erik the Red; “background assets” would be a very funny euphemism; it’s always either time travel or clones; and you should probably not get a corporate logo tattooed on the side of your head.

X-PLAINED:

Crimes of Dark Beast
X-Force #77-80
The Mutant Liberation Front
Reignfire (repeatedly)
Video Renaissance
Almost Reno, NM
The inversion of several common tropes
Small towns
Different kinds of mutants
X-Force Fun Facts
Skids (Sally Blevins)
Several continuity errors
Some kidnappings
Sexiness without prurience
Background assets
Dr. Joshua (again)
(Henry Wallinger)
Psychic shenanigans
Las Vegas
Word-balloon disambiguation
X-Force’s new HQ
Historical X-Men we’d like to see

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X and the Seven Dwarves

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 228 – Thinkin’ Shorts

December 23, 2018 Miles One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

I mean, it’s not that much worse than Botox. (Uncanny X-Men #301)

Of all the people Gamesmaster could choose to bring to the forefront of his mind, he chose these assholes. (Uncanny X-Men #301)

I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING (Uncanny X-Men #301)

Yes, yes, you’ve made some terrible mistakes, Forge – but at least you’re wearing those shorts again! (Uncanny X-Men #301)

Miles would totally buy that action figure. (Uncanny X-Men #301)

This is how you comic book. (Uncanny X-Men #301)

Damn, Romita. Damn, Storm. (Uncanny X-Men #302)

Just repeat to yourself: it’s just a show, I should really just relax! (Uncanny X-Men #302)

Plato called this “the noble lie”. (Uncanny X-Men #302)

You know, I guess that is about how you’d have to angle your hips if you were balancing on one leg because some green-haired jerk from the future cut off your other one. (Uncanny X-Men #302)

Should’ve known that guy was a racist asshole – look at the color of his baseball cap. (Uncanny X-Men #302)

Can’t blame the guy – for being furious or for pummeling Fitzroy. (Uncanny X-Men #302)

Yes, Jay, Kitty looks pretty weird in this panel, but – FEELINGS! (Uncanny X-Men #302)

Dammit, Friends of Humanity, give Madrox his outfit back! And also stop being murderous bigots! (X-Force #24)

Rusty and Skids have been focusing pretty hard on good posture since leaving the New Mutants. (X-Force #24)

Who has the worse employees, Sam Guthrie or Alex Summers? (X-Force #24)

“Thanks for holding me up while I practice my Liefeld kicks, buddy!” (X-Force #24)

Petey the Dog reference: $34.95. Improbable toaster gun: $1750.00. The look on Grizzly’s face: priceless.(X-Force #24)

Magneto is the best at Space Tetris. (X-Force #24)

Boom-Boom and Feral: best frenemies ever. (X-Force #24)

Remember, at least two of these characters used to train with X-Factor. (X-Force #24)

Boom-Boom and Feral: still the best frenemies ever. (X-Force #24)

Fair enough, kids. (X-Force #24)

Jay’s Warlock figure still kinda freaks Miles out.

Next time: our fifth annual Giant-Size Winter Special!

228 – Thinkin’ Shorts

December 23, 2018 Miles 8 comments

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In which it still sucks to be a Rasputin; John Romita Jr. has a solid, if muscular, grasp of anatomy; Jay and Miles are better exes than Forge and anyone; and Cannonball’s many younger siblings have almost prepared him for running X-Force.

X-PLAINED:

Peters Parker
The Merry X-Men Holiday Special
Comic book release schedules vs. J&MXPtXM
Uncanny X-Men #301-302
Trevor F**king Fitzroy, possibly the worst Upstart
Comics Code Authority closeting versus real-life closeting
21st Century Torture Devices
Risky mood fonts
Robert’s Rules of Upstart Order (this week)
Gamesmaster vs. the Isolationist
Shinobi Shaw: Good At Sex
Russian tragedy (more, again)
Charles Xavier and his poor decisions
Shi’ar tech support
Pants and villainy
Racist jerks vs. rhetorical questions
TIME PARADOX
Weirdly specific contingencies
Piotr Rasputin and his justified fury
X-Force #24
Meaningless (but fun!) timestamps
The Friends of Humanity (who are not our friends)
Rusty and Skids’ latest arrest
Disappointed Dad Sam Guthrie
Action vs. public perception
Vinz Clortho
Domino’s continuing quest to figure out what exactly an X-Force is
The dramatic return of… well, you know
Spacesuit logistics
Numerical universe designations
Plastic Warlock

NEXT EPISODE: Our Fifth Annual Giant-Size Winter Special!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 201 – Pump Up the Jam

June 17, 2018 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Damn, that’s a nice cover. (X-Men #10)

I mean, one of them is definitely not playing a part. (X-Men #10)

I know, buddy. I know. (X-Men #10)

Wait for it… (X-Men #10)

*snicker* (X-Men #10)

Throwing this in mostly because it’s a gorgeous panel. (X-Men #10)

Not even the end of the issue, really. (X-Men #10)

Wait, wasn’t Jon Bon Jovi blond in 1992? (X-Men #10)

That is some choice sideeye. (X-Men #11)

A little bit louder, and a little bit worse. (X-Men #11)

“Hey, wanna see if we can make the Psylocke/Cyclops sexual tension even MORE uncomfortable?” (X-Men #11)

TFW you’re just thankful the control booth is lined with Mojonium(TM). (X-Men #11)

Toxic masculinity saves the day! (X-Men #11)

Mojo directing his own murder is a little bit creepy. (X-Men #11)

YOU’D THINK ONCE WOULD HAVE BEEN ENOUGH, BUT NO. (X-Men #11)

“Know what would be the worst, though? If we were all characters in a comic book.” (X-Men #11)

I don’t understand what’s happening around Maverick’s crotch; and frankly, I don’t care to. (X-Men #10)

This guy. (X-Men #10)

Can we get a close-up on that caption, though? (X-Men #10)

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT, HARRAS. (X-Men #10)

Thaaaaaat’s our Maverick! (X-Men #11)

It really, really looks like Professor X’s head isn’t attached to his body. (X-Men #12)

Carter Ryking has come unstuck in time, but not really. (X-Men #12)

Aw, man, it’s nice to have a reminder of why I sometimes really like these two together. (X-Men #12)

I mean, Gambit and Rogue are doing okay, so the dysfunction had to go somewhere… (X-Men #12)

ART CHALLENGE: What’s in the file? Fill in those empty pages! (X-Men #12)

And the skeletons are like, “Dude, we’re RIGHT HERE.” (X-Men #12)

While these are all valid concerns, they’d be alleviated somewhat if anyone ever bothered to draw Professor X with a decent wheelchair. Seriously, X-Men artists, DO SOME BASIC RESEARCH ON THIS. (X-Men #12)

Now there’s a guy who knows how to put the “fun” in “funeral.” (X-Men #12)

Yeah, Logan, don’t get into a feels-off with Rogue. You won’t win. (X-Men #13)

Nicieza’s Beast is really, really good. (X-Men #13)

Aw, Jubilee. (X-Men #13)

Show him what he’s won, Rusty and Skids! (X-Men #13)

NEXT EPISODE: A musical interlude with X-Factor!

201 – Pump Up the Jam

June 17, 2018 Jay 39 comments

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In which we begin our third podcast century; Cyclops is bi-inclusive; we have high standards for Mojoworld; Dazzler can survive your big-budget horror show; Jim Lee makes his exit; video games that involve Protomen are better than video games that don’t; and plasma is the new magnetism.

X-PLAINED:

Carter Ryking and his Very Durable Underpants
Fontanelle
Jay & Miles Town Cry ye X-Men
An upcoming event
X-Men #10-13
A somewhat disappointing Wizard of Oz pastiche
Those who like to go both ways
A mysterious, shadowy figure; revealed
Several of Cyclops’s uncoolest Dad moments
Zima
Moist Alley
Mojo II: The Sequel
The Image exodus
Mojonium™
An announcement
Longshot in the Mojoverse vs. Longshot in the 616
A Maverick adventure
Alexander Ryking
The other Xavier File
Warhawk
The Ryking Hospital for Paranormal Research
A poorly defined power set
Technicolor skeletons
When and where paper was invented
A likely-irrelevant pattern
The devil who haunts Stryfe’s dreams
Some non-X Marvel recommendations
Rusty Collins’s codename

NEXT EPISODE: A musical interlude with X-Factor!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 141 – Reason to Go to the Devil

January 1, 2017 Jay 5 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. No print this week, but you can contact David to purchase the original!

Bella is slightly suspicious of this whole “snow” thing.

Say what you will about Liefeld, but his craggy, gnarled Vulture is pretty damn delightful. (New Mutants #86)

I was just gonna clip Nitro, but then I noticed the faces in the inset panel. (New Mutants #86)

It’s the Mutant Liberation Front! (New Mutants #87)

Tempo’s hella sweet Fleer trading card.

Cable’s official on-page debut (not counting a “next issue” blurb): (New Mutants #87)

OH, HI, STRYFE. (New Mutants #87)

“Yeah, well, so’s your mom!” (New Mutants #88)

Young lady, you put your feet back on the ground this instant! (New Mutants #88)

Fun Fact: this is in fact EXACTLY HOW HE’S GOING TO DIE. (New Mutants #88)

Cable is so… Cable. (New Mutants #89)

The combination of the visible belly button and the coloring really make it look like Sam’s wearing a pink tube top. (New Mutants #89)

Evil!Sexy!Moira! (New Mutants #89)

NEXT EPISODE: Angel broods like it’s the Silver Age!

141 – Reason to Go to the Devil

January 1, 2017 Jay 30 comments

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In which we ring in the new year with Cable’s on-page debut; it’s really the ’90s now; we enter the third major era of New Mutants; what Liefeld lacks in craft he makes up for in energy; we pitch a new “What if–” line; Rusty and Skids are terrible superheroes; X-Factor has probably given up on a lot of things; we speculate at gratuitous length on the content of Cable’s pouches; you have reason to go to the devil; and Cable makes a lot more sense when you realize he’s of, by, and for teenagers.

X-PLAINED:

How the Legacy Virus got loose
New Mutants #86-89
Cable’s on-page debut
Rob Liefeld
The third major era of New Mutants
A shift in the balance of power
A comics shop to probably avoid if you time-travel back to the mid 1990s
The stupid adventures of Rusty & Skids
Yet another Acts of Vengeance tie-in
Nitro
An accidental prison break
Cops, or maybe protestors
The Mutant Liberation Front
Feet
A goody two-shoes man-stealing redheaded werewolf
Wildside
Reaper
Strobe
Thumbelina
Tempo
Forearm
Zero
Stryfe
Stryfe’s armor
Spooning with Cable

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor kicks it Silver Age.

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

No prints this week. Contact David Wynne to purchase the original illustration!

As Mentioned in Episode 132 – Nornheim Lemonade

October 31, 2016 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

“I mean, seriously, this is how EVERY FIGHT YOU’VE GOTTEN INTO THIS STORY has gone. Are you really surprised?” (New Mutants #82)

Aw, man. Rictor is such a good dude. (New Mutants #82)

Hela: Actually really good at this whole “villainous plan” business. (New Mutants #82)

“Also, I’m super into wrestling.” (New Mutants #83)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (New Mutants #83)

Volstagg’s kids are so awesome. (New Mutants #84)

Ula and the Savage Swarm! (New Mutants #84)

If you can’t punch pterosaurs, punching the jerks riding them is the next best option. (New Mutants #84)

Let’s have a moment of awed silence for the sheer audacity of Baldur’s outfit. (New Mutants #84)

FIIIIIIIGHT! (New Mutants #85)

Asgard: where you can have a dramatic death and then show up again WITHOUT resorting to retcons! (New Mutants #85)

Evil Dani is EVIL, man. (New Mutants #85)

And that’s how you sound-effect. (New Mutants #85)

Hela, of course, manages to work in one final villain speech. Because she’s a pro. (New Mutants #85)

Considering that Rob Liefeld’s run starts next issue, I’m gonna go with “no.” (New Mutants #85)

Meanwhile on Midgard*, Rusty and Skids basically play out variations on this gag forever. (New Mutants #84)

*Earth

Bret Blevins does draw a pretty splendid Vulture, though. (New Mutants #83)

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. Celestials!

LINKS:

We covered the first half of the Asgard Adventure in Episode 127 – Disaster City.
COME SEE US AT VEGAS VALLEY COMIC BOOK FEST ON NOVEMBER 5! It’s an awesome convention, and we will be doing a VERY SPECIAL live show.

132 – Nornheim Lemonade

October 31, 2016 Jay 6 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

In which Rusty is an honorary Bluth; we bid a sad farewell to Bret Blevins; Hogan the Grim is probably the best at bedtime stories; Asgard has really tight hat game; Hela is a remarkably competent supervillain; there are some sound effects you have to earn; Rusty and Skids fight the Vulture; and Miles has so many feelings about Thor.

X-PLAINED:

Cortex
Damian Tryp
Our weird 2016 recording schedule
Jay & Miles at Vegas Valley Comic Book Fest 2016
Recent ResurrXion announcements
The second half of the Asgard Adventure
The end of Bret Blevins’ New Mutants run
New Mutants #82-85
The Odinsleep
A fairly upsetting board game
Volstagg’s awesome kids
Tiwaz of the Wastes
Many excellent hats
Ula and the Savage Swarm
Garm
Miles’s favorite Fenrir story
A remarkably clever villainous plan
A signature sound effect
Karnilla the Norn Queen
Cable’s relationship to Longshot
Recommendations for a comics newcomer

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. Celestials, as Judgment War concludes!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

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