In which Emergency Backup Co-Host Elisabeth Allie saves the day; the Berserkers are not the breakout hit you’ve been waiting for; Paul Smith continues to be awesome; nothing good ever happens in the Danger Room; Charles Xavier dabbles in cosplay; Nightcrawler has serious hat game; Rachel Summers lacks healthy coping skills; your life would be way more epic if Claremont narrated it; Northstar is a surprisingly good prom date; Loki is a total dick; and Longshot is totally Miles’s favorite.
- Madelyne Pryor
- X-Men/Alpha Flight vols. 1&2
- The Berserkers
- An unconventional model of family therapy
- Aggressive foreshadowing
- NPC dialogue
- Jazzercise superheroes
- Superhero color theory
- Those Who Sit Above in Shadow
- Norse fashion of the ‘80s
- Very specific superpowers
- Some sweet boots
- The price of power
- A deus ex machina squared
- Kitty and Piotr’s first date
- Snowbird’s powers
- Miles’s favorite X-Man
NEXT WEEK: Asgardian Wars!
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Links and Further Reading:
All Those Signature Moves We Listed Off (We’ll Do a Visual Directory Eventually, We Promise):
FASTBALL SPECIAL VARIATIONS:
- Fastball Special: Colossus throws Wolveine at something.
- Phaseball Special*: Someone throws Kitty through robots
- The Most Comics-Code-Adherent at What He Does*: The thing where Wolverine has his claws out during a fight but doesn’t cut anyone.
- Cue-ball Special*: The thing where Cyclops takes out like six bad guys with ricochets from one optic blast.
- Slippery Slope*: The thing where Iceman tries to be awesome and ends up beating up his teammates by accident.
- Blue-Plate Special Special*: The thing where an X-man uses their powers to prepare lunch.
- The thing where Kitty wrecks everything by accident phasing through it.
- The thing where everyone switches opponents mid-fight, and that’s what turns the tide.
- The thing where Nightcrawler is awfully dashing about beating people up.
- The thing where Storm’s claustrophobia saves the day.
- The thing where Angel just dodges shit for like an hour instead of participating in the fight.
- The thing where Xavier fakes his own death.
- The thing where Cypher and/or Kitty and/or Illyana and/or Wolverine do the “Ain’t I a stinker?” thing from the control booth of the Danger Room.
- The thing where Cyclops uses his optic blasts to slow or stop inertia or a fall.
- The thing where Storm has no powers and STILL kicks someone’s ass into next week.
- The thing where Colossus and Wolverine throw themselves at Magneto every goddamn time despite being made of metal.
*We made these names up. They are not official canon, but we live in hope.
In which Canada is complicated, the X-Perts join Twitter, Rachel cares about a Wolverine story, Angel had one job, Kitty Pryde is pretty cool, Cyclops gets a hat, neither of us knows how to pronounce “Aleytys,” Doctor Doom is a terrible date, and the X-Men have an awful lot of signature moves.
- Department H
- Department K
- Director X
- The Weapon Plus Program
- Weapon P.R.I.M.E.
- Weapons I-XVI
- The Death-Defying Doctor Mirage
- The new normal
- Stevie Hunter
- The Wendigo
- Berserker rage
- Yard work
- Angel’s one move
- The N’Garai (again)
- Lee Forrester
- Magic-Feather villains
- Doctor Doom
- Why it sucks to be Havok
- The X-Perts’ relative areas of X-pertise
- Cyclops vs. Storm
- Signature moves
CORRECTIONS: Lee’s dad’s house is in Florida, not Louisiana; Doctor Doom is not in Europe but in New England, where has taken over Toad’s theme park, because that was definitely a thing.
If you’re looking for our coverage of X-Men 141 and 142—”Days of Future Past”—you can find that in Episode 6, “Days of Future Whatever.”
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.