Spider-Man – Page 2 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 450 – Live at the Clinton Street Theater

May 26, 2024 Jay Leave a comment

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A smooth criminal. (Uncanny X-Men #428)

X-Men: First Class: The Draco (Uncanny X-Men #428)

Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #428)

I love that Wolverine tries to stop nude Nightcrawler from stealing the plane by throwing a beer can at it. (Uncanny X-Men #429)

You’d think he could at least let the cafeteria staff know he was planning on sleeping in there. (Uncanny X-Men #429)

Annie, no. (Uncanny X-Men #429)

This Hell sucks. (Uncanny X-Men #431)

And then Mystique flew violently out of a child’s abdomen, in one of the less bizarre scenes in this story arc. (Uncanny X-Men #431)

Dinner in Hell. (Uncanny X-Men #432)

*grumble grumble Daimon Hellstrom grumble* (Uncanny X-Men #432)

So, that happened. (Uncanny X-Men #433)

Either, really. (Uncanny X-Men #434)

Ginniyeh is the only remotely adequate demon in this arc. (Uncanny X-Men #434)

Awkward. (Uncanny X-Men #434)

NEXT EPISODE: Business as usual.

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE

AIWeirdness.com is both delightful and educational!

450 – Live at the Clinton Street Theater

May 26, 2024 Jay 6 comments

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In which we celebrate our tenth anniversary by X-Plaining what may be the most reviled X-arc; you should not try this at home; Mystique is so much better than this story; Azazel is a really boring devil; Nightcrawler should probably be missing a hand; the Xavier School definitely does not have an HR department; and we would prefer that you not pee on Iceman.

X-PLAINED:

Nightcrawler’s (most recent) parentage
Uncanny X-Men #428-434
X-Men Blue: Origins #1
The X-Men, like, in general
Nightcrawler (Kurt Wagner)
Some narrative choices
Mystique
Baron Christian Wagner
Marvel Europe
Azazel
Church sex
Nightstreaker
Isla des Demonas
Foibles of Warren Kenneth Worthington III
Annie and Carter Ghazikhanian
Abyss
Kiwi Black
The Cheyarafim and Neyaphem
Bad times with psychic therapy
Post-traumatic supervillainy
Uncool Hell
A miracle of magnetism
The only cool thing in Uncool Hell
A very elegant retcon
X-Muppets
Characters who deserve more page space
Miles’s favorite X-Person
What the Worthington Corporation does
A character who could reasonably be Azazel’s kid

NEXT EPISODE: Back to X-business as usual!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 394 – We All Have to Go Sometime

December 11, 2022 Jay Leave a comment

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

It’s the OZT broadcast that keeps on giving! (X-Men #66)

Cecilia Reyes, reluctant hero. (X-Men #66)

I really thought this was a callback to a bit of Iceman’s Silver Age origin story, but it is not. (X-Men #66)

Here for the meme. (X-Men #66)

Sabra, puncher of cars, owner of the world’s most durable bra. (X-Men #67)

Speaking of callbacks. (X-Men #68)

I know that Marrow is not actually supposed to be kicking herself in the face here, but I can’t see it any other way. (X-Men #68)

Can you imagine a more awkward person to get stuck in a bathroom conversation with than Henry Peter Gyrich? (X-Men #68)

Again, here for your Internet use. (X-Men #68)

Sabra’s costume is fairly cool. (X-Men #68)

HOW DOES SHE SAY THAT MUCH WHILE JUMPING OUT OF THE WATER DOLPHIN-STYLE? (X-Men #69)

And that’s that, sort of. (X-Men #69)

NEXT EPISODE: Bastion and his fleshy appendages!

LINKS & FURTHER LIFE LESSONS:

Nearly 40 years after Secret Wars II, Spider-Man is still teaching people to poop.

As Mentioned in Episode 392 – The Mullet of Leadership

November 27, 2022 Jay One comment

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Venice Beach. (Generation X #29)

Sunglasses shopping with Husk and M. (Generation X #29)

Disguises! (Generation X #29)

The Sugar Bombs have to be a Calvin and Hobbes nod, right? (Generation X #29)

This kid, man. (Generation X #29)

Does anyone know who these three are supposed to be? (Generation X #29)

Still cool, but not as cool as when they were bugs. (Generation X #29)

Emma, no! (Generation X #30)

Bachalo’s Prime Sentinels are pretty fun. (Generation X #31)

This kid was like sixteen two issues ago. (Generation X #31)

Wheeee! (Generation X #31)

FINALLY! (Generation X #31)

He kind of deserves it, though. (Uncanny X-Men #346)

You tell ‘im, JJJ! (Uncanny X-Men #346)

NEXT EPISODE: Camping trip!

392 – The Mullet of Leadership

November 20, 2022 Jay 16 comments

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In which Chris Bachalo changes things up; we theorize about Prime Sentinel hierarchy; the headmasters go undercover; fictional characters spend a lot of time in sewers; M’s secret comes to light; J. Jonah Jameson is at his best in X-books; Jay pitches a video game; Marrow gets a makeover; and part of journalistic integrity is choosing what not to cover.

X-PLAINED:

Banshee, recently
Generation X #29-31
Uncanny X-Men #346
Bastion
Daria
Leave It to Chance
Miguela Torres
Venice Beach
Skin’s cousin Gil
Inconsistencies that may or may not be deliberate
Jolt Cola™
Yet another take on Prime Sentinels
The Mullet of Leadership
A cool kid
Cat drama
DOA (again)
Cars
A kiss
Several attempted murders
Marrow’s appearance
Boyd and Mathers
X-fighting games
Mutant leadership philosophies

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men cleverly disguised as Wolverine

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 369 – Carly Askani

April 17, 2022 Miles Leave a comment

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

“This ought to give you” *POW* “a new perspective” *BIFF* “on things, Alex!” (Uncanny X-Men #339)

Head trauma for Lucas BIshop! (Uncanny X-Men #339)

I mean, she’s not wrong. (Uncanny X-Men #339)

“You think I just fell off the turnip truck, McCoy? No one pulls a fast one on J. Jonah Jameson!” (Uncanny X-Men #339)

“I’m Ororo Munroe, and I’m here to x-plain the X-Men… because it’s about time someone did.” (Uncanny X-Men #339)

Never trust a Summers when he tells you he’s fine. (Uncanny X-Men #339)

Well, if they can print it, I guess we can post it. (X-Men #59)

Head trauma for Lucas Bishop! Again! (X-Men #59)

Hell of a Wolverine you’ve got there, Mr. Kubert. (X-Men #59)

JOSEPH I AM CALLING THE POLICE (X-Men #59)

Not quite as good as the Rogue/Gambit kiss from #41, but still… whoa. (X-Men #59)

I’M HUGE (X-Men #59)

“For instance, I can see through this utterly massive chin.” (Wolverine Annual 1996)

Josef Stalin..? (Wolverine Annual 1996)

Up… (Wolverine Annual 1996)

…and up… (Wolverine Annual 1996)

…and up. (Wolverine Annual 1996)

“General Grievious, sir, it’s the Jedi!” (Wolverine Annual 1996)

You know, I think this might be Sunfire’s best non-Age of Apocalypse look! (Wolverine Annual 1996)

*Pacific Rim music plays* (and now it’s in your head too) (Wolverine Annual 1996)

Logan, that… that was there before. Maybe you need to adjust your bandana. (Wolverine Annual 1996)

NEXT TIME: The Silver Age with Max Carleton!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

369 – Carly Askani

April 17, 2022 Miles 23 comments

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In which Storm & Joseph X-Plain the X-Men, Alex Summers is not brainwashed this time, he promises, Scott Lobdell writes better moments than stories, Ed McGuinness draws very large chins, and it’s Denver the Last Dinosaur, not Denver the Lost Dinosaur

X-PLAINED:

Uncanny X-Men #339
Spider-Man disambiguation
A. Kubert disambiguation
J. Jonah Jameson (again) (hooray!)
Sneaking songs
The history of smoking regulation on airlines
Creed disambiguation
Havok’s Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
Bonding while falling out of planes
X-Men #59
The copyright status of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
Well-drawn Wolverines
Hercules vs The Tick
Wolverine Annual 1996
The tragic death of Mariko Yashida
Silver Samurai (Kuniuchio Harada)
Sunfire (Shiro Yoshida) and what he’s been up to since Fatal Attractions
Josef Stalin, apparently?
Red Ronin and its nemesis, a time-lost dinosaur who we assure you is not Godzilla
Jedi and/or samurai vs. doors
Our logo fonts
James Howlett, guidance counselor
Onslaught but not evil
Whether Magneto could wield Mjolnir

NEXT EPISODE: The Silver Age with Max Carleton!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 355 – All Sentinels Are Bastards

December 12, 2021 Miles 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

See, this is why I’ll never drive in New York. (Amazing Spider-Man #415)

“Did I say guardian angels? I meant guardian spiders. Hey, things were different in the sixties.” (Amazing Spider-Man #415)

What year did this comic come out? Oh, right. 1996. (Amazing Spider-Man #415)

“Also, my son is a magical astronaut werewolf, and he’d stay and help!” (Amazing Spider-Man #415)

Inkers don’t get enough respect. (Spider-Man #72)

Jeez, even the Sentinels have traffic jams! What did I say about never driving in New York? (Spider-Man #72)

Weekend At Spider-Bernie’s. (Spider-Man #72)

Aww, these kids. (Spider-Man #72)

Now this is how you Spider-Man. (Spider-Man #72)

Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 1. (Green Goblin #12)

Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 2. (Green Goblin #12)

Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 3. (Green Goblin #12)

Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 4. (Green Goblin #12)

Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 5. (Green Goblin #12)

Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 6. (Green Goblin #12)

Frank Punisher is in over his head. (Punisher #11)

“A mustache and a wing-suit? Those student loans were worth every cent!” (Punisher #11)

This has never once happened in the history of the Marvel Universe. Never. Once. (Punisher #11)

The speech bubble says DOGS but the jet-ski says DOGZ – I don’t know who to believe! (Punisher #11)

Cap’n Bloodscream smiles approvingly from the next ship over. (Punisher #11)

“And I just had some firemen hose me down, so I am ready for this.” (Punisher #11)

NEXT TIME: End-slaught.

355 – All Sentinels Are Bastards

December 12, 2021 Jay 18 comments

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In which we take a break from X-Men to talk Onslaught tie-ins; Miles learns about coffee shop AUs; Sentinels are very large; there are no bystanders in a crossover event; we are really not Punisher people; and all the bad guys have plans.

X-PLAINED:

The Clone Saga (briefly)
How not to dispose of a dead clone
Ben Reilly
Amazing Spider-Man #415
Spider-Man #72
Green Goblin #12
Punisher #11
Onslaught’s increasingly nebulous goals
Sentinel timing
Coffee shop AUs
Sentinels in Manhattan
Several fights with Sentinels
Green Goblin (Phil Urich)
Uncles Ben
The Lunatic Laugh
Punisher (Frank Castle) (briefly)
Yet another helicarrier crash
The happiest cannon fodder
The Junkyard Dogs
Rashid Hammer Jones
The surprisingly exciting world of NYC maritime salvage
Make-believe superpowers
Deadlines

NEXT EPISODE: A Big Fight

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!