Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: time travel

275 – End of the Summer

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Professor is too cool for the Phalanx; fatphobia is significantly more dangerous than Fred Dukes; Strong Guy catches a plane; Emma Frost will not let you coast; Jubilee says goodbye to the X-Men; and it’s probably for the best that we have avoided corporate advertisers.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mr. M
  • Thor: Metal Gods
  • Ship (more) (again)
  • The Phalanx vs. the Borg
  • Several cover homages
  • X-Force #39
  • X-Factor #107
  • Uncanny X-Men #318
  • Prosh
  • The myriad delights of embodiment
  • A complex theory about Leprechauns
  • Benefits of single-issue stories
  • Strong Guy vs. the Blob
  • Strong Guy vs. Gravity
  • Strong Guy vs. an airplane
  • Strong Guy vs. biology
  • Several explosions
  • The kids of Generation X
  • Deluxe-format comics
  • The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning
  • Goodbyes
  • Dazzler’s relative immortality
  • Jay’s X-Men Happy Meal Toy wish list
  • How to make a page-accurate Warlock toy

NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 273 – The Back-End Creep

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Ouch. (Wolverine #85)
Do you think Cable got there early and then waited for someone to say his name so he could make a dramatic entrance? (Wolverine #85)
here is your large adult son (Wolverine #85)
Aw, man, right in the feels. (Wolverine #85)
And again. (Wolverine #85)
I like this cover more than it probably deserves. (Cable #16)
Lang’s tiny panties might be the weirdest thing about the whole Phalanx situation. (Cable #16)
Well, that happened. (Cable #16)
Cable vs. Derrida. (Cable #16)
He really never learns. (Cable #16)
It’s cute how anyone ever thinks Cameron Hodge is going to accept defeat with grace. (Cable #16)
GET IT? ‘CAUSE HE’S POINTY! (Cable #16)
NEXT EPISODE: Talking House of X and Powers of X with Chris Eddleman!

LINKS & FURTHER CATASTROPHES:

273 – The Back-End Creep (The Phalanx Covenant, Part 3 of 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we have been on All the Podcasts; Full Shred Thrash is easier to say that it sounds; the Phalanx uses dial-up; Cable is a very large man; Larry Hama writes excellent banter; Cyclops has been progressively desensitized to plane crashes; Cameron Hodge is never graceful in defeat; and Final Sanction is actually about family.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mithras
  • A large number of guest appearances
  • Thor: Metal Gods
  • The Phalanx Covenant so far
  • Full Shred Thrash
  • Adam Kubert
  • Wolverine #85
  • Cable #16
  • Gorp, Waldo, and Apache
  • Popping silk
  • A Summers family reunion
  • Jean and Nathan
  • Jean Grey’s astral form
  • Genetics
  • Several airplanes
  • Mountain climbing
  • Gelatinous yahoos
  • Several impermanent deaths
  • Pregnant X-team members
  • Outside references to the X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: House of X, feat. Chris Eddleman

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 263 – The Oldest Teens of Them All

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
This looks like a “Sexy Spider-Woman” costume from Party City. (X-Force #34)
IT’S FOR FLIRTING, RICTOR. (X-Force #34)
I guess this is just his thing now. (X-Force #34)
These guys. <3 (X-Force #34)
At least one person on this art team clearly thought Rictor was Gambit. (X-Force #34)
Seriously, though, why did they come along? (X-Force #34)
Who even sits like that while they’re thinking? (X-Force #34)
Starring Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. (X-Force #35)
The. Worst. Security. System. (X-Force #35)
X-Force kind of needs a team counselor. (X-Force #35)
I want a whole side story about the two of them raising some hell. (X-Force #35)
Okay, but for the record, atomic bombs are also bad. (X-Force #35)
Cable, have you even read this comic? (X-Force #35)
That’s our boy. (X-Force #36)
Sucks to be Nimrod, I guess? (X-Force #36)
I’m really uncomfortable with the concept of “hot Apocalypse.” (X-Force #37)
Later, S’mores. (X-Force #37)
I don’t know why this panel is so funny to me, but IT’S SO FUNNY. (X-Force #37)
That’s not how you coffin, guys. (X-Force #37)
Right there with you, Sam. (X-Force #37)
“Also, you’re big jerks.” (X-Force #37)
NEXT EPISODE: Douglock!

263 – The Oldest Teens of Them All

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Cable and Domino may or may not be very old teenagers; disguises are not Dani Moonstar’s strong suit; Empath remains awful; Shatterstar probably talks exactly like a telenovela; X-Force needs an office manager; Mothra is larger than most things; and if you get to choose between being an External or a Guthrie, always be a Guthrie.

X-PLAINED:

  • Bastion, to some extent
  • X-Force #34-37
  • Optical disambiguation
  • Moonstar
  • Face tentacle semantics
  • Sandwiches (again)
  • The Richter family
  • An entirely avoidable fight
  • Some time-travel bullshit
  • Hannigan Electronics
  • An insecurity system
  • Nimrods
  • Things neural networks would probably do instead of murdering you
  • Defining traits of the Externals
  • Adoption, X-Factor style
  • Wolverine: The Long Night

NEXT EPISODE: Douglock!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 244 – Terminal Nudity

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
You can tell he’s evil because he’s the only assassin who… wears black? (Gambit #1)
“And how is your mustache?!” (Gambit #1)
Wolverine is basically the Mary Worth of the X-Men. (Gambit #1)
…Okay, yeah, I get why he’s kind of cool. (Gambit #1)
You can tell the captions are serious business because of the fake torn edges. (Gambit #1)
It seems weird that the first thing he did was throw his coat over her. That’s weird, right? (Gambit #2)
Maybe the accents skip a generation. (Gambit #2)
They have fun. (Gambit #2)
The Tithe Collector knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men! (Gambit #2)
No, seriously, look at this Shadow-looking dude. (Gambit #2)
Fashion! (Gambit #3)
Well played. (Gambit #3)
I just really love that he changes into THIS for infiltration. (Gambit #3)
Candra got over pants centuries ago. (Gambit #3)
It’s cool that she survives and everything; but, ew. (Gambit #4)
Remy “John Constantine” LeBeau. (Gambit #3)
NEXT EPISODE: Rogue’s turn!

LINKS & FURTHER DRAMA:

  • Jay is writing a thing that may be relevant to your interests in the intersection of Marvel and audio.
  • We first encountered the T’ieves’ Guild in Episode 194 – Brood Trouble in the Big Easy.
  • Go watch Intacto; it’s brilliant.
  • The Thief of Always is basically Clive Barker in Ray Bradbury drag. It’s not going to blow your mind; but it’s a fun read.
  • As a gloomy ’90s teen, Jay was of course very into The Crow; which holds up surprisingly well. It can’t rain all the time!

 

244 – Terminal Nudity

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which X-Men don’t get to take vacations; Jay makes a somewhat belated announcement; sometimes Gambit is legitimately pretty cool; the assassins get a day-glo-up; The Crow holds up surprisingly well; Gambit gets exiled again; and Artie and Leech damn well better get to live happily ever after.

X-PLAINED:

  • Rogue and Gambit’s honeymoon
  • A thing that Jay is working on
  • Brood Trouble in the Big Easy
  • Bella Donna Boudreaux
  • Gambit #1-4
  • The New Orleans trilogy
  • “X-Ternally Yours”
  • The tithe collector
  • Things about which your mama may or may not have warned you
  • Dramatic captions
  • Candra
  • The Thieves’ and Assassins’ Guilds
  • The pact
  • Julian Boudreaux (again)
  • Henri LeBeau and his mustache
  • Critical nudity
  • Terminal nudity
  • Marius Boudreaux
  • Accent inconsistencies
  • Draping
  • Jean Luc LeBeau
  • Treachery most foul
  • (Select elements of) Gamit’s origin story
  • How thieves get kids
  • Gambit as a romantic hero
  • Ungrateful children of the Marvel Universe
  • Petite Chou
  • Clubbing with Gambit
  • Subtlety (for some value of the term)
  • Lifestyles of the rich and immortal
  • The Church of Lost Thieves
  • The Elixir of Life
  • An undersold side effect
  • A very lucky break
  • Artie and Leech’s probable adult lives
  • Villains we’d like to see on the X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Rogue!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 229 – Giant-Size Special #7

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Surprisingly, not the worst trip either of them has been on. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
Welcome to the future. Hope you survive the… y’know. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
I kind of feel like most parents would be a little irritated if their kids did this. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
Despite the cybernetics, this is definitely the closest li’l Nathan Christopher has ever looked to an actual human baby. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
That is the face of a man who knows he will never, ever get to take a real vacation. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
We see what you did, there. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
Parents, amirite? (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
It takes a certain degree of dedication to throw an orgy this boring. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
That’s our Stryfe! (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
Apocalypse’s future look. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
Gene Ha is so good at weird cyborgs! (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
“Also, where do babies come from?” (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #3)
I love the conceit that everyone in the future gives them shit for PDA. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #3)
OH, HEY, IT’S THE LEGACY VIRUS. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #3)
Quite literally face to face. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #3)
Nobody likes Stryfe. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #3)
And you thought puberty hit you hard. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
Aw, Rachel. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
“Also, I was thinking we could do brunch sometime. No? Too soon?” (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
This dysfunctional fictional family is so damn important to me. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
Clone Problems(TM). (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
I mean, the first time aside from THE ENTIRETY OF THE LAST TWELVE YEARS. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
I’m not crying. You’re crying. We’re both crying. Everyone is crying. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
This comic, man. Right in the feels. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
We don’t usually post pages that we also read, but we couldn’t in good conscience leave this one out. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
“Time to get a lot of guns and some snappy one-liners.” (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
NEXT EPISODE: Bring kleenex.

LINKS & FURTHER FESTIVITY:

Click through for Corbeau Awards and song lyrics!

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229 – Giant-Size Special #7

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we are beset by festivity; Scott Summers still can’t take a vacation; the Daysprings are a really good family; “G’journey” is a really good greeting; Stryfe is his own namesake; retcons have served Cable well; illustrator David Wynne makes his X-Plain podcast debut; and you should probably go ahead and get a shelf for all these awards.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Hayes family
  • The Grey-Summers Family circa 1993
  • The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1-4
  • Summers/Sommers disambiguation
  • Gene Ha
  • Time travel
  • Earth-4935
  • Mother Askani
  • Prelate Ch’vayre
  • What “Askani” means
  • When and whether Cable sleeps
  • The passage of time
  • Slym and Redd Dayspring
  • A biblical allusion
  • A very good greeting
  • Prior Turrin
  • “Old” English
  • Li’l Stryfe
  • Some constraints of superhero comics
  • Parenting
  • Rachel Summers’s self-image
  • The origin of Cable’s codename
  • David Wynne and his art
  • “Strontium Dogs”
  • The X-Fandom starter pack
  • The Fifth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
  • D&D with the Blue Team
  • All-New staying power
  • Fictional intersectionality
  • Change, in general

NEXT EPISODE: Bring kleenex.

CORRECTION: In this episode, Miles states that Scott and Jean are cool. They are, in fact, categorically uncool. We regret the error.

Special thanks to carolers Tina Carleton, Matt Gardner, Peter Gresser, Erin Pence, and Steve Pence!

Check out the visual companion to this episode–along with all the song lyrics and the complete Corbeau awards–on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 198 – How to Destroy the Universe Without Really Trying

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Alas, the Walter Simonson cover is a false alarm. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
Sweet threads, Brigadier! (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
Life Model Decoy life is hard. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
At this point, she should really just change her code name to “Ripley.” (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
Thiiiiiiiiis guy. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
“Maybe, like, a buck fifty?” (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
And that’s why we don’t experiment on ourselves, Dr. Cayre. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
Air-Walker is a cyborg who loves his work. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
And now, a whole bunch of Lockheed making really good shifty faces! (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
Seriously, it’s basically just this for like six images. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
What, you thought I was joking? (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
I was not joking. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
(Okay, fine, I also threw in a Captain Britain suit on fire.) (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
But here’s one more Lockheed, for good measure! (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
“Remember when I basically destroyed the universe? Good times!” (Excalibur: Air Apparent)
Well, it’s no Excalibur #41 or 52, but I guess it’ll do. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
He’s got style, I’ll give him that. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
Doom is a tough audience. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
Scott Summers: hopelessly uncool in just about any time period. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
World War II Angel may in fact be the best Angel. Dang! (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
But what could it be?! (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
IT’S A HONKER OF DOOM! (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
Sure, why not? (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
This is one of those costumes that really only works in specific art styles; but this is one of them. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
I mean, he is kind of a notorious dick… (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
He died as he lived: crushed under a tower of word balloons. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
That Kitty and Bobby briefly dated later makes this much funnier. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)
NEXT EPISODE: Shattershot!

LINKS & FURTHER READING: