Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: time travel

198 – How to Destroy the Universe Without Really Trying

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Excalibur goes 16-bit platformer; Alysande gets new threads; Shadowcat should probably just change her code name to Ripley; Captain Britain may or may not destroy the universe; Doctor Doom tries his hand at human resources; Excalibur is at home with weirdness; and no lizard needs breasts.

X-PLAINED:

  • Invisible Boy
  • Human heralds of Galactus
  • Excalibur Special Editions
  • Excalibur: Air Apparent
  • Excalibur: XX Crossing
  • Dr. Jonothon Cayre
  • Norm the LMD
  • Lava pits of Scotland
  • Some dubious herpetology
  • Eric the Cyborg (Coldblood-7)
  • Robert Cop
  • Special Man
  • Air-Walker and/or Gabriel Lam
  • A cosmic explosion
  • Captain Britain’s extra costume
  • Sidestep
  • An exceptionally awkward job interview
  • A counterintuitive plan
  • The other time-displaced X-Men
  • The best version of Angel
  • Angel’s third-greatest nemesis
  • Gladiator Hank
  • A very fancy vest
  • The best Excalibur Special Edition
  • The Phalanx vs. the Technarchy
  • Warlock vs. gender
  • Our thoughts on Avengers: Infinity War

Note: according to the letter column from Excalibur #54, at least some of the art credits for Excalibur: XX Crossing were incorrect, so some of our descriptions of who drew what in this episode are wrong. See the comments below for more information!

NEXT EPISODE: Shattershot!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 180 – Lawful Badass

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
What you see is pretty much what you get. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
Cybernetic fuckboys. Don’t worry, they’re all going to die soon. For now. Mostly. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
That is… certainly some dialogue, there. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
And that’s why she’s the boss. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
“We eat dinner naked. It’s very sexy. And then we do the sexy dishes, sexily.” (Uncanny X-Men #281)
Oh, no! Not Bevatron! (Uncanny X-Men #281)
If you had told me a year ago that there was armor worse than Cameron Hodge’s ruby quartz armor, I would not have believed you. Mea culpa. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
Oh, no, not again. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
OH HELL YES. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
Professor X is kind of a sore winner. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
And then, suddenly, Storm was telekinetic. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
That’s gotta sting. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
“But first, The Very Hungry Caterpillar.” (Uncanny X-Men #282)
Earth-1191 is AMAZING. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
I really want to know if all these criminals dressed up special for the occasion, or if this is just what everyone hangs out looking like in the future. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
ABOUT DAMN TIME. (See what I did, there?) (Uncanny X-Men #282)
“Ha, ha!” (Uncanny X-Men #283)
Aw, this kid. (Uncanny X-Men #283)
“I’m going to the comics shop to cancel my subscription RIGHT NOW!” (Uncanny X-Men #283)
Bishop, I know you come from a difficult timeline, but even you have to appreciate how rad that Walt Simonson Archangel design is. (Uncanny X-Men #283)
Are… Iceman and Colossus levitating? (Uncanny X-Men #283)
This is why we–or at least the Upstarts–can’t have nice things. (Uncanny X-Men #283)
NEXT EPISODE: Guns ‘n’ Pouches!

FURTHER READING, WATCHING, & LISTENING:

180 – Lawful Badass

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay is deeply invested in The Gifted; Trevor Fitzroy is generally inexcusable; there are a lot of reasons to be uncomfortable in the Hellfire Club; the mix just got altered in this little clambake; Jean Grey (kind of) dies (again); Earth-1191 gives the Age of Apocalypse some glam competition; Lucas Bishop is a pretty decent metaphor for fan culture; everyone is probably Kang the Conqueror; and now Miles really has no excuse for not watching The Prisoner.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Chronomancer and his Chronobots
  • The Gifted
  • Lucas Bishop’s creative origins
  • Trevor Fitzroy
  • Goatee Theory
  • X-Factor #67
  • Uncanny X-Men #281-283
  • Dapper Lesbian Shinobi Shaw
  • A briefly useful mnemonic
  • Cybernetic fuckboys
  • The return of Warren Kenneth Worthington III’s hair
  • Beef and Bevatron
  • The deaths of the Hellions
  • Warhammer
  • Some of the challenges of X-Plaining the ’90s
  • Bringing a knife to a Sentinel fight
  • Bantam
  • A bunch of bad guys from the future
  • Bishop
  • Randall
  • Malcolm
  • Earth-1191
  • The Gamemaster
  • X-Men we’d like to see come out as trans (revisited)
  • Whether either or both of us are Kang the Conquerer

NEXT EPISODE: Pouches and Guns

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 175 – Lady Windermere’s Fan Club

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
This series should really be more fun than it is. (X-Men: True Friends #1)
“On one hand, you’re probably doomed. On the other hand, I did your laundry!” (X-Men: True Friends #1)
Excalibur is SUPER into trad night. (X-Men: True Friends #1)
Turning every head… except the one she wants to. (X-Men: True Friends #1)
Rachel Summers: master of subtlety. (X-Men: True Friends #1)
The absence of Dr. Druid from this story is really inexcusable. (X-Men: True Friends #1)
Lilibet wants nothing to do with that ludicrous accent. (X-Men: True Friends #1)
It wouldn’t be a Claremont book without an aviation lesson! (X-Men: True Friends #1)
Ugh. THAT guy. (X-Men: True Friends #2)
FUN FACT: We learned after recording this episode that Edward and Wallis were SUPER into fascism. NOT COOL. (X-Men: True Friends #2)
Laird Hetero McNonthreatening and his amazing Hypercolor kilt! (X-Men: True Friends #2)
AND THEN THIS HAPPENED. (X-Men: True Friends #2)
“If only my bones were made out of something super dense that made me useless underwater, amirite?” (X-Men: True Friends #2)
Hiiiii, Logan. (X-Men: True Friends #2)
“I’ll go kill the Nazis. You kids hang out under the dock and neck, or whatever.” (X-Men: True Friends #2)
He is a man of simple pleasures. (X-Men: True Friends #2)
Welcome to the time loop! Hope you survive the… oh. OH. Sorry. (X-Men: True Friends #3)
Oh, man. (X-Men: True Friends #3)
Don’t fuck with Kitty Pryde. (X-Men: True Friends #3)
I would read the HELL out of a comic about these three. (X-Men: True Friends #3)
This is the best costume Kitty Pryde will ever have, hands down. (X-Men: True Friends #3)
Yaaaawn. (X-Men: True Friends #3)
“Well, I do like redheads…” (X-Men: True Friends #3)
I don’t know what the Sword of Scone is, but it sounds DELICIOUS. (X-Men: True Friends #3)
I really love that the Phoenix Force has defeated Nazis with the power of queerness on AT LEAST TWO DISTINCT OCCASIONS. (X-Men: True Friends #3)
“They’re not corgis, but we suppose that they’ll have to do.” (X-Men: True Friends #3)
NEXT EPISODE: This guy.

175 – Lady Windermere’s Fan Club

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Gambit is transatlantically terrible; Rick Leonardi is the poor man’s Alan Davis (but in a good way); we try and fail to care about British royals; Miles should probably read some Oscar Wilde already; Jay has a lot of feelings about The Rocketeer; Shadowcat gets a genuinely stylish costume; and we would read the hell out of a series about Destiny, Mystique, and Wolverine’s WWII adventures.

X-PLAINED:

  • Why Gambit isn’t welcome in the United Kingdom
  • X-Men: True Friends #1-3
  • The poor man’s Alan Davis
  • Trad night
  • Laird Alasdhair Kinross and his nonthreatening but convenient heterosexuality
  • Inexplicably absent familial relationships
  • Queen Lilibet the Second
  • Lady Regina Windermere
  • Several notable British fascists of the 1930s
  • A snazzy airplane
  • Several nefarious plots
  • Formal pajamas
  • The mystery of the Hypercolor™ kilt
  • A large number of strong feelings about The Rocketeer
  • Kitty Pryde’s best costumes
  • Weaponized cosmic queerness (again)
  • Power, agency, and the Dark Phoenix Saga
  • How characters end up with their specific mutations.

NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine, again.

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

140 – Unto Us a Retcon Is Given (feat. Dennis Hopeless)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which writer Dennis Hopeless returns to the show for an informal introduction to the (first) mutant messiah; Cable is the best-case retcon scenario; Summerses don’t get to retire; calculating relative character age remains functionally impossible; Cable is Marsha to Stryfe’s Jan; and there’s probably already a Gilbert & Sullivan operetta about all of this.

X-PLAINED:

  • That one time Cable and Stryfe shared a body
  • Cable (Nathan Christopher Charles Summers)
  • Spinning nonsense into gold
  • Cable and X-Force
  • Cable’s controversial creative origins
  • Collaborative character creation
  • Cable origins that might have been
  • A whole lot of time travel
  • A whole lot of Summers family nonsense
  • Professor (Ship)
  • Tyler Dayspring (Tolliver)
  • Hope Summers
  • How to make Cable interesting
  • What to do after you save the world
  • Still more time travel
  • Look, there’s a lot of time travel, okay?
  • Old-man strength
  • Stryfe
  • David Willis’s theory of Batman humor (and Jay’s derivative theory of Stryfe humor)
  • Muscle March
  • Cable’s role on teams
  • Stryfe vs. Hope
  • Cable’s theoretical legal career
  • Quantum operetta theory

NEXT EPISODE: Cable’s on-page debut!

There is no visual companion to this episode!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 67 – Shadow of the Technarch

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/2/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
And that’s why you always leave a note. (New Mutants #47)
This jerk. (New Mutants #47)
Meet Sad Darin Morgan Magneto. Next issue, he’ll be bathing his corgi. (New Mutants #47)
For the record: We ran this page by Jamie from the British History Podcast, and he says Robert the Bruce’s outfit is super bullshit (but he said it more eloquently). (New Mutants #47)
What. (New Mutants #47)
Robert the Bruce was kind of a shallow dude. (New Mutants #47)
WHAT. (New Mutants #47)
This raises some questions. (New Mutants #48)
Future Mirage is METAL AS HELL. (New Mutants #48)
More Sad Darin Morgan Magneto. (New Mutants #48)
Note that even in a dark dystopian future, neither Sam nor Dani is desperate enough to wear those awful graduation costumes. (New Mutants #48)
I seriously want to write a one-shot about this Sentinel. MARVEL: CALL ME. (New Mutants #48)
FIGHT THE FUTURE. (New Mutants #48)
Hint: It’s the friend who can turn into a sinister-looking silhouette. (New Mutants #49)
Are they, though? Really? (New Mutants #49)
Katie Power: More badass than you at any age. (New Mutants #49)
There’s no such thing as a happy Magneto flashback. (New Mutants #49)
Did they just not notice the cover? (New Mutants #49)
Whoadang. (New Mutants #50)
Know how we keep talking about Inferno? This is where it starts. This scene. Right here. (New Mutants #50)
This scene is everything. (New Mutants #50)
You’re a good kid, Illyana. (New Mutants #50)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (New Mutants #50)
Peak Magma. (New Mutants #50)
HACK THE PLANET! (New Mutants #50)
The first appearance of Karma’s codename. (Marvel Team-Up #100)
NEXT WEEK: Basically “The Most Dangerous Game”

LINKS:

As Mentioned in Episode 58 – Miniseries Mayhem

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/31/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
We encourage you to judge this book by its cover. (Nightcrawler #1)
WELL DONE. (Nightcrawler #1)
No idea whether “Boggie” is actually a Bored of the Rings reference, but we’d like to think so. (Nightcrawler #1)
Yowza! (Nightcrawler #1)
We want a vacation home in Dave Cockrum’s brain. (Nightcrawler #1)
AND THEN A SHARK WIZARD HAPPENED. (Nightcrawler #1)
Things about this series that are absolutely delightful: all of them. (Nightcrawler #2)
Boggies X-Plain the plot. (Nightcrawler #2)
OH HELL YES (Nightcrawler #2)
Whoops. (Nightcrawler #2)
Don’t get comfortable! You’ve still got two issues to go! (Nightcrawler #2)
Bamfs are basically terrible sex smurfs. (Nightcrawler #3)
Meen. It’s spelled M-E-E-N. (Nightcrawler #3)
Suuuuuure, we’ve heard that one before. (Nightcrawler #3)
Wellp. (Nightcrawler #3)
X-cellent use of sound effects. (Nightcrawler #3)
Lady Bamfs are ALSO terrible sex Smurfs. (Nightcrawler #4)
CRETACEOUS SAM, WE LOVE YOU. (Nightcrawler #4)
That Illyana Rasputin owns a prodigious collection of pornography is the least surprising revelation of this series. (Nightcrawler #4)
In his defense, she does have extra fancy hair. (Iceman #1)
“You don’t steal another man’s elemental puns!” (Iceman #1)
If we had a dollar for every time this happened… (Iceman #1)
Aw, Bobby. (Iceman #1)
This could definitely not be read as an allegory for anything else ever, right? (Iceman #1)
This is basically how all of our family reunions go, too.
Sneaking in the window, in his underwear (costume, but STILL), carrying an interdimensional projector: kind of the perfect Bobby Drake moment, no? (Iceman #2)
Kiiiinda wishing they’d gone with Freaky Friday instead of Back to the Future, but whatever. (Iceman #2)
I bet at times like this, Bobby seriously questions his choice of superhero costume. (Iceman #2)
Well, that got grim fast. (Iceman #2)
“Man, Marty McFly never had to deal with this shit!” (Iceman #2)
And now, a surreal existential hellscape! (Iceman #3)
Not gonna lie: I love the hell out of this version of the X-Men. (Iceman #3)
NO SERIOUSLY IT’S EVIL PALETTE-SWAPPED ORKO (Iceman #3)
Oblivion X-Plains the story so far. (Iceman #3)
Teenagers, man. (Iceman #3)
Parents: the same in any dimension. (Iceman #4)
Iceman getting universe-defying moments of heroism is rare and pretty much universally awesome. (Iceman #4)
THIS FUCKING MINISERIES, MAN. (Iceman #4)
If we had to sum up Iceman in one image, it’d be this one. (Iceman #4)
The implications for multiversal continuity are kind of staggering. (Iceman #4)
Spoiler: This does not actually change anything. (Iceman #4)
Next Week: X-Men ’92, with Chris Sims and Chad Bowers!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

58 – Miniseries Mayhem

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Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | Email | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/31/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/31/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Nightcrawler does Weird Tales; Iceman does Back to the Future; we want a vacation home in Dave Cockrum’s brain; Bamfs are terrible; the 1983 Iceman miniseries is straight-up bananas; parents just don’t understand; and Rachel will take literally any excuse to talk smack about John Ruskin.

X-PLAINED:

  • Vanisher
  • Nightcrawler #1-4
  • Bizarre Adventures #27
  • Iceman #1-4
  • The Well at the Center of Time
  • The downside to hanging out with pirates
  • A shark wizard in a tiny loincloth
  • Better living through sound-effect awareness
  • Boggies
  • The key to a classic Nightcrawler story
  • Earth-5311
  • Bamfs
  • The full extent of Rachel’s Smurfs knowledge
  • Cretaceous Sam
  • Sehv
  • Illyana Rasputin’s porn collection
  • The Drake family
  • An exceptionally unlikely girl next door
  • The definitive Miles’s Mom anecdote
  • Marge Smith / Mirage
  • White Light
  • Idiot
  • Kali (but not that one)
  • Two generations of Officers Ratchit
  • Pornography no one wants to see
  • Death by time travel
  • Oblivion
  • Night Man (kinda)
  • Our ideal cross-media adaptations

NEXT WEEK: X-Men ’92, with Chris Sims and Chad Bowers!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 34 – Mordenkainen’s Marvelous Mutants

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints available here through Sunday, December 14!
Remember when missing twin towers always signified a horrible post-apocalyptic future? (Uncanny X-Men #189)
Rachel Summers, in her Hound uniform. (Uncanny X-Men #189)
Kids, if a necklace you find in a fish talks to you, DON’T LISTEN. (Uncanny X-Men #189)
Oh. You, again. (Uncanny X-Men #189)
Moments when the Hellfire Club and the X-Men just really want to not talk about this and go back to whatever they were doing are pretty much the best X-Men/Hellfire Club moments. (Uncanny X-Men #189)
Lookit all those temporal references! (Uncanny X-Men #189)
Imagining Kid Miles diving into X-Men with this issue: never not funny. (Uncanny X-Men #190)
Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #190)
But.. isn’t that basically what Vision normally wears? (Uncanny X-Men #190)
Callisto: Pure awesome in any universe. (Uncanny X-Men #190)
What. (Uncanny X-Men #190)
CAPTAIN AMERICA WE LOVE YOU (Uncanny X-Men #190)
This fucking recap page. (Uncanny X-Men #191)
Warlock-o-Vision! (Uncanny X-Men #191)
Remember that time Spider-Man got actually literally crucified in a CCA-approved comic? Because that definitely happened. (Uncanny X-Men #191)
Warlock is not only the best friendly space teenager, but also the best jetpack. (Uncanny X-Men #191)
Oh. That guy. (Uncanny X-Men #191)
LOOK AT THIS ANGRY SPACE ROBOT AND HIS AMAZING TECHNOORGANIC BEARD (Uncanny X-Men #192)
In which the X-Men absolutely fail at hide-and-seek in just about every possible way. (Uncanny X-Men #192)
Not only is Illyana a badass demon sorceress and teleporter, but her taste in movies is impeccable. (Uncanny X-Men #192)
HERE HAVE SOME MORE TECHNOORGANIC SPACE BEARD (Uncanny X-Men #192)
Rogue goes Technarch, is adorable. (Uncanny X-Men #192)
SPAAAAAAAAACE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEARD (Uncanny X-Men #192)
He’s such a parent. (Uncanny X-Men #192)
Don’t worry. Later, the Morlocks find him, fix him up, and dress him in elaborate bondage gear. (Uncanny X-Men #192)
MERRY CHRISTMAS, X-MEN! (Uncanny X-Men #192)
Next week: Welcome to the Heartbreak Hotel.

Links and Further Reading:

  • In Episode 34, we answered a question from a listener looking for textual evidence that Nightcrawler isn’t homophobic (we pointed them to Amazing X-Men #13). Rachel also discussed that question from a different angle–and at considerably more length–on the blog.
  • Diana: Warrior Princess is both an incredibly fun game setting and a brilliant piece of cultural satire.
  • We are big fans of both the Gamers movies and the humans responsible for them.
  • Rachel and Elle talk a lot of shit about Hank Pym in Episode 4 of Into It.