toad – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 497 – Stranger Things

August 24, 2025 Miles 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Astra: shows up for two pages, is a hilarious jerk, refuses to elaborate, leaves. (X-Men Forever #4)

Seriously, there’s a name for the linked-circles-phone-call-thing, right? (X-Men Forever #4)

Getcher Lava Lamp Babies! Three fer the price o’ two! (X-Men Forever #4)

Science is making me feel uncomfortable… (X-Men Forever #4)

Anyway, here’s the history of literally everything. (X-Men Forever #4)

In the future, we will all look more like we do in the movies! (X-Men Forever #5)

Oof, right in the bobbies. (X-Men Forever #5)

It’s Jean’s alternate-alternate-future daughter! (X-Men Forever #5)

“I could defeat you with a single twitch of my left mustache.” (X-Men Forever #6)

“How do I get out of this conversation gaaahhhh he just keeps talking I do NOT want to hear any more about cryptocurrency” (X-Men Forever #6)

In which the art reaches for the stars. (X-Men Forever #6)

A day in the life of an information technology professional. (X-Men Forever #6)

Toad 2.0! Or like, 7.0 if you count all the inconsistencies in his past depictions. (X-Men Forever #6)

Mystique 2.0! But if the first X-Men movie crossed over with Tron. (X-Men Forever #6)

In case you’re wondering, the Stranger’s mustache was already like that even before he got punched in the nose. (X-Men Forever #6)

Toad, as is often the case, has learned nothing. (X-Men Forever #6)

Next time: X-Force gets even more x-treme!

497 – Stranger Things

August 24, 2025 Jay One comment

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In which Prosh’s plans sort of come to fruition; we do not know very much about movies; Iceman dies (but is fine); The Stranger gets around; and Toad learns nothing.

X-PLAINED:

The Stranger
X-Men Forever #4-6
Prosh (more) (again)
The story so far
Astra (again)
The Black Womb Project
Toad’s secret origins, possibly
Fashion
Hazard
Amanda Mueller (a bit)
Anguirus
The end of human civilization
Foreshadowing
A dramatic reveal
Several makeovers
Darth Toad
Fighting arenas / community theaters

NEXT EPISODE: Mystique reassembles the Brotherhood!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 496 – Time After Time

August 24, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

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A motley crew if we ever did see one! (X-Men Forever #1)

Say hello to our favorite ancient and benevolent hood ornament, Prosh! (X-Men Forever #1)

Prosh makes some friends. (X-Men Forever #1)

Remember this guy? No? You’re not familiar with Classic X-Men backup stories? Then… good luck. (X-Men Forever #1)

I am trading in my car right now. (X-Men Forever #1)

Prosh x-plains… pretty much everything. (X-Men Forever #1)

Raven Darkholme, making the hard choices. (X-Men Forever #2)

Judgment War reference! Alert! We have a Judgment War reference! (X-Men Forever #2)

If looks could kill… Half the population of Earth would be dead. (X-Men Forever #2)

Legion x-plains the Age of Apocalypse. (X-Men Forever #2)

Fast Travel Mode is weird. (X-Men Forever #2)

This is a very Marvel Comics moment. (X-Men Forever #3)

Things probably don’t get more complicated than this, right? (X-Men Forever #3)

The Snowman Era! (X-Men Forever #3)

Silver Age gotta Silver Age. (X-Men Forever #3)

NEXT TIME: Things do get more complicated.

496 – Time After Time

August 17, 2025 Jay 6 comments

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In which Prosh assembles a peculiar team; the cosmic forces are somewhat paranoid; Mystique gets shit done; and we are very into the concept of Toadland.

X-PLAINED:

The Black Womb Project
X-Men Forever #1-3
Prosh
Several custom-grown people
A motley crew of mutants (and one human)
Cataclysm keys
The assassination of Graydon Creed
Several poignant reunions
The cosmic construction worker (Death)
Why the Phoenix Force chose Jean Grey
How much continuity is too much continuity
Pyro’s romance novels

NEXT EPISODE: The rest of the series!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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493 – Now a Major Motion Picture

July 13, 2025 Jay 16 comments

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In which the first X-Men film turns 25 (and holds up remarkably well).

X-PLAINED:

A startling absence
The X-Men’s big-screen debut
An X-film that might have been
X-Men (2000), in general; and related publications
Some very casting
What makes a good adaptation
Wolverine’s hair
Those costumes
The cinematic X-Men
The cinematic Brotherhood
Sabretooth’s eyebrows
Condensed backstories
The movie magic of magnetism
The worst toy of all time
Going to school with superheroes
Things we’d like to have seen in the movie

NEXT EPISODE: The origin of Thunderbird! (Not that one.) (Or that one.)

The visual companion to this episode is the film X-Men (2000).

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 440 – Fightin’ and Ballin’

February 11, 2024 Miles One comment

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Fight fight fight, fight fight fight! (X-Men #83)

PHWOOOOOSH PKOOOM YAAIIIHEEE SWOOOOOOOOOSSS (X-Men #83)

‘Sup, demonic sperm? (X-Men #83)

From organic steel to organic… whatever that is. (X-Men #83)

What if Pinocchio but evil Colossus-bot? (X-Men #83)

The other Cerebr(o/ite) design. (X-Men #83)

Design by David Cronenberg? (Uncanny X-Men #364)

Fight fight fight, fight fight fight! (Again again again!) (Uncanny X-Men #364)

The best version of Post. (Uncanny X-Men #364)

Wolverine: vigilante relationship counselor and motivational speaker. (Uncanny X-Men #364)

Eeeuuuugghhh (Uncanny X-Men #364)

Charles Xavier: the world’s most ripped telepath. (X-Men #84)

Cerebro Prime has almost completed its Pokédex! (X-Men #84)

Colossus practices his witty banter. (X-Men #84)

Oil and razor blades and cotton candy and (X-Men #84)

The Xavier Protocols are gorier than expected. (X-Men #84)

Imagine all the people (X-Men #84)

Back home and back to the status quo. (X-Men #84)

NEXT TIME: Dracula.

Links and further reading:

440 – Fightin’ and Ballin’

February 11, 2024 Miles 6 comments

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In which the Hunt for Xavier remains vaguely disappointing; Gambit is good with kids; nanomachines are the new unstable molecules; Marrow is a walking armory; and we recommend comics for babies.

X-PLAINED:

The Hunt for Xavier, Part 2
Babies and/or ghosts
Chekhov’s repowering
X-Men #83-84
Uncanny X-Men #364
Cerebro / Cerebro Prime
Cerebrite Alpha
Cerebrite Beta
X-Men serial numbers
What Gambit’s friends call him
How Miles stopped worrying and learned to love Gambit
Evil robot sperm
Mary Purcell
Multiple-monitor displays
A computer with a computer
AI
The Florida facility
Post
Pile-Driver X
A glimpse into the butt of all humanity
Comics for babies
Name-based powers

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X has Dracula problems!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 439 – Fishfic

February 4, 2024 Miles 4 comments

Listen to the episode here.

A very loud search party. (Uncanny X-Men #362)

Stooges in shorts. (Uncanny X-Men #362)

The Continuing Saga of Gambit & the Gassy Lady. (Uncanny X-Men #362)

Storm and Marrow have their best conversations while fucking up automobiles. (Uncanny X-Men #362)

*Driving rock intro* (Uncanny X-Men #362)

Gassy ladies, fire ladies… It hard to be Gambit. (Uncanny X-Men #362)

This version of Cerebro doesn’t require telepathy to use, but it does require a cute outfit. (Uncanny X-Men #362)

In medias swamp-rat. (X-Men #82)

He has agreed to take me / To the ice hotel from the magazine (X-Men #82)

Whoa indeed, Keanu. (X-Men #82)

You’ve all had that dream too, right? (X-Men #82)

Clockwise from top-left: blood, black bile, phlegm, yellow bile. (X-Men #82)

I have no idea what kind of metal band Cerebro fronts, but I would listen to them. (X-Men #82)

I miss Toad’s too-many-Liefeldian-teeth look, but this one’s pretty great. (Uncanny X-Men #363)

Maybe the post-Fall era of X-Men will finally explain what Wolverine smelled. (Uncanny X-Men #363)

Cerebro’s other outfit. (Uncanny X-Men #363)

What’s… what’s happening here?! (Uncanny X-Men #363)

Shoulda just complimented her classic fedora-‘n’-trenchcoat look. (Uncanny X-Men #363)

Meanwhile, in the margins of a Wolverine one-shot… (Uncanny X-Men #363)

Somewhat new, somewhat different. (Uncanny X-Men #363)

NEXT TIME: 2 Hunt 2 Xavier

439 – Fishfic

February 4, 2024 Miles 9 comments

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In which we reach the beginning of an end; Jay totally forgot Gambit was there; we’re all living in the Mary Purcelliverse; the X-Men split the party; and we explore The Bay Area’s Bohemian Hotbed of Student Anarchy.

X-PLAINED:

Mary Purcell (sort of)
The re-defaulting of the X-Men
Uncanny X-Men #362-323
X-Men #82
Nebraska
Pyro (Saint John Allerdyce) and his endless illness
Legacy Virus variations
Going home again
Running back and forth in quarries
Marrow, who’s come a long way
The two forms of fire: skeleton monsters and sexy ladies
Cerebro (the evil one)
San Francisco and Tajikinistan
Asphalt ball pits
A topsy-turvy nonsensical impossible hell
Nina the Mannite
Desire, love, loss, and fear
Skulls and spines
The New (New) Brotherhood of Mutants
Cerebrites Alpha and Beta
A lost, smelly fish
Ambiguous art
Blood, sweat, and fears
Which mutants would cause the most chaos at holiday gatherings
Hopes for post-Fall society

NEXT EPISODE: 2 Hunt 2 Xavier

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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