Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 530 – Not for Beginners

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Dig that Christopher Shy cover! (New X-Men #149)
Magneto was technically right, the best kind of right. (New X-Men #149)
Dick move. (New X-Men #149)
Hindsight. (New X-Men #149)
Hell, yeah! (New X-Men #149)
These issues are so full of great hero moments. (New X-Men #149)
I am pretty sure that they are not a thing. (New X-Men #149)
This seems… unlikely. (New X-Men #149)
Dang, Phoenix! (New X-Men #150)
HECK YEAH BEAK! (New X-Men #150)
Right into the gutter! (New X-Men #150)
You’d think that telepaths could use the same line of approach, but I guess not? (New X-Men #150)
Aw, they’re so heroic. (New X-Men #150)
Well, shit. (New X-Men #150)
The graffiti absolutely sends me. (New X-Men #150)
NEXT EPISODE: The future!

LINKS & FURTHER MUTATIONS

530 – Not for Beginners

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Illustration by David Wynne

In which we remain frustrated with Morrison’s Magneto; Esme Cuckoo’s hat game is lacking; and the status quo dies with Jean Grey.

X-PLAINED:

  • Dubious X-relationships
  • Some excellent songs from an excellent show
  • New X-Men #149-150
  • Various atrocities and catastrophes
  • The resistance, such as it is
  • Magneto’s limits
  • A rebirth
  • Neutron warheads
  • The cavalry
  • Yet another death of Magneto
  • Yet another death of Jean Grey
  • A peculiar epilogue
  • A legacy of retcons
  • A miasma of bleakness and futility
  • The Xorn retcon
  • Disability in “Planet X”
  • Miracles of Magnetism

NEXT EPISODE: The future!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 529 – Magneto Was Wrong

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We didn’t discuss it in the episode, but I really dig this cover. (New X-Men #146)
Charles Xavier is not a safe adult. (New X-Men #146)
Death by irony. (New X-Men #146)
And there it is. (New X-Men #146)
I know this is supposed to be dramatic and horrifying; but there’s something about Magneto’s stiff pose and facial expression that makes it very funny. (New X-Men #147)
Meet the new Brotherhood! (New X-Men #147)
There go the bridges. (New X-Men #147)
The bubbles were a choice. (New X-Men #147)
Bless Phil Jimenez for finding a whole spectrum of ways to obscure Charles Xavier’s genitalia. (New X-Men #148)
Jean’s eminently sensible bra. (New X-Men #148)
Okay, so, the side coverage (or lack of coverage) is a little weird; but I’ll still accept it. (New X-Men #148)
OH SNAP IT’S THE PHOENIX (New X-Men #148)
NEXT EPISODE: Magneto dies, again.

529 – Magneto Was Wrong

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Illustration by David Wynne

In which many plot threads come together; Charles Xavier is a catastrophically bad listener; you should probably not live in the Marvel Universe; bridges are really important; there’s nothing sexy about dying of heat exhaustion; and we judge Morrison’s Magneto and find him wanting.

X-PLAINED:

  • What Xorn did after dying
  • The story so far
  • New X-Men #146-148
  • Beast’s typing gloves
  • Several innovative ways to type loudly
  • Doomed plans
  • A manufactured confrontation
  • A trap
  • Magneto reimagined
  • Visual depictions of sweat
  • “New Genosha”
  • Death and rebirth
  • Whether Magneto has a place in New X-Men; and if so, what
  • A name for an era

NEXT EPISODE: Yet another death of Magneto

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 498 – Home Depot Ossuary

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The Twisted Sisters: “Never heard of ’em.” (X-Men #105)
Torque. Pretty sure that’s not the Invisible Woman in there. (X-Men #105)
Dun dun dun dun dun, Inspector Coil (X-Men #105)
More Logan backstory! MORE! (X-Men #105)
Does Nightcrawler teleport out of his clothes at the end of the day? (X-Men #105)
Psylocke should have worn her unstable cocktail dress. (X-Men #105)
A building sealed with the impenetrable perfection of boards. (X-Men #106)
I submit that if the Neo losing their powers for a few weeks could do this, there maaaaaay have been some flaws with their civilization. (X-Men #106)
Rogue PTUIs for us all. (X-Men #106)
Comics! (X-Men #106)
Just like DARE told us! (X-Men #106)
Hi, new Super Sabre and Crimson Commando! Bye, new Super Saber and Crimson Commando! (X-Men #106)
Behold, the effects of X-Men Forever! (X-Men #106)
Rogue, super spy. (X-Men #106)
Problem solved! (X-Men #106)
Hey, it’s that one scene from the X-Men Evolution intro that’s also that one scene from Buffy the Vampire Slayer! (Uncanny X-Men #386)
“I’ve kissed the lips that kissed you!” (Uncanny X-Men #386)
Thanks for breaking the tension, Paolo. (Uncanny X-Men #386)
WHEEEEE (Uncanny X-Men #386)
See? Not so judgey of Lee Forrester now, are we? (Uncanny X-Men #386)
NEXT TIME: X-Force versus monsters! Again!

498 – Home Depot Ossuary

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In which the Twisted Sisters are vanquished by water; there is no way to make Stryfe cool; and the X-Men fight a hurricane.

X-PLAINED:

  • Ego the Living Planet and his dysfunctional family
  • X-Men #105-106
  • Uncanny X-Men #386
  • The Neo (more) (again)
  • The state of Psylocke and Archangel’s relationship
  • The Twisted Sisters
    • Helix
    • Coil
    • Gyre
    • Ringlet
    • Torque
  • Pelicans
  • Bad decisions of past Jay and Miles
  • A mysterious stranger
  • Unrealized plans
  • Mystique and Wolverine’s forgotten friendship
  • Neo infrastructure
  • Big Casino’s name
  • An unlikely hybrid
  • A surprisingly large femur
  • The new Brotherhood
  • Lee Forrester (again)
  • Weather
  • Fan history

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force vs. Warborgs

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 497 – Stranger Things

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Astra: shows up for two pages, is a hilarious jerk, refuses to elaborate, leaves. (X-Men Forever #4)
Seriously, there’s a name for the linked-circles-phone-call-thing, right? (X-Men Forever #4)
Getcher Lava Lamp Babies! Three fer the price o’ two! (X-Men Forever #4)
Science is making me feel uncomfortable… (X-Men Forever #4)
Anyway, here’s the history of literally everything. (X-Men Forever #4)
In the future, we will all look more like we do in the movies! (X-Men Forever #5)
Oof, right in the bobbies. (X-Men Forever #5)
It’s Jean’s alternate-alternate-future daughter! (X-Men Forever #5)
“I could defeat you with a single twitch of my left mustache.” (X-Men Forever #6)
“How do I get out of this conversation gaaahhhh he just keeps talking I do NOT want to hear any more about cryptocurrency” (X-Men Forever #6)
In which the art reaches for the stars. (X-Men Forever #6)
A day in the life of an information technology professional. (X-Men Forever #6)
Toad 2.0! Or like, 7.0 if you count all the inconsistencies in his past depictions. (X-Men Forever #6)
Mystique 2.0! But if the first X-Men movie crossed over with Tron. (X-Men Forever #6)
In case you’re wondering, the Stranger’s mustache was already like that even before he got punched in the nose. (X-Men Forever #6)
Toad, as is often the case, has learned nothing. (X-Men Forever #6)
Next time: X-Force gets even more x-treme!

497 – Stranger Things

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In which Prosh’s plans sort of come to fruition; we do not know very much about movies; Iceman dies (but is fine); The Stranger gets around; and Toad learns nothing.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Stranger
  • X-Men Forever #4-6
  • Prosh (more) (again)
  • The story so far
  • Astra (again)
  • The Black Womb Project
  • Toad’s secret origins, possibly
  • Fashion
  • Hazard
  • Amanda Mueller (a bit)
  • Anguirus
  • The end of human civilization
  • Foreshadowing
  • A dramatic reveal
  • Several makeovers
  • Darth Toad
  • Fighting arenas / community theaters

NEXT EPISODE: Mystique reassembles the Brotherhood!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

 

As Mentioned in Episode 496 – Time After Time

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A motley crew if we ever did see one! (X-Men Forever #1)
Say hello to our favorite ancient and benevolent hood ornament, Prosh! (X-Men Forever #1)
Prosh makes some friends. (X-Men Forever #1)
Remember this guy? No? You’re not familiar with Classic X-Men backup stories? Then… good luck. (X-Men Forever #1)
I am trading in my car right now. (X-Men Forever #1)
Prosh x-plains… pretty much everything. (X-Men Forever #1)
Raven Darkholme, making the hard choices. (X-Men Forever #2)
Judgment War reference! Alert! We have a Judgment War reference! (X-Men Forever #2)
If looks could kill… Half the population of Earth would be dead. (X-Men Forever #2)
Legion x-plains the Age of Apocalypse. (X-Men Forever #2)
Fast Travel Mode is weird. (X-Men Forever #2)
This is a very Marvel Comics moment. (X-Men Forever #3)
Things probably don’t get more complicated than this, right? (X-Men Forever #3)
The Snowman Era! (X-Men Forever #3)
Silver Age gotta Silver Age. (X-Men Forever #3)
NEXT TIME: Things do get more complicated.

496 – Time After Time

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In which Prosh assembles a peculiar team; the cosmic forces are somewhat paranoid; Mystique gets shit done; and we are very into the concept of Toadland.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Black Womb Project
  • X-Men Forever #1-3
  • Prosh
  • Several custom-grown people
  • A motley crew of mutants (and one human)
  • Cataclysm keys
  • The assassination of Graydon Creed
  • Several poignant reunions
  • The cosmic construction worker (Death)
  • Why the Phoenix Force chose Jean Grey
  • How much continuity is too much continuity
  • Pyro’s romance novels

NEXT EPISODE: The rest of the series!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!