Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 497 – Stranger Things

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Astra: shows up for two pages, is a hilarious jerk, refuses to elaborate, leaves. (X-Men Forever #4)
Seriously, there’s a name for the linked-circles-phone-call-thing, right? (X-Men Forever #4)
Getcher Lava Lamp Babies! Three fer the price o’ two! (X-Men Forever #4)
Science is making me feel uncomfortable… (X-Men Forever #4)
Anyway, here’s the history of literally everything. (X-Men Forever #4)
In the future, we will all look more like we do in the movies! (X-Men Forever #5)
Oof, right in the bobbies. (X-Men Forever #5)
It’s Jean’s alternate-alternate-future daughter! (X-Men Forever #5)
“I could defeat you with a single twitch of my left mustache.” (X-Men Forever #6)
“How do I get out of this conversation gaaahhhh he just keeps talking I do NOT want to hear any more about cryptocurrency” (X-Men Forever #6)
In which the art reaches for the stars. (X-Men Forever #6)
A day in the life of an information technology professional. (X-Men Forever #6)
Toad 2.0! Or like, 7.0 if you count all the inconsistencies in his past depictions. (X-Men Forever #6)
Mystique 2.0! But if the first X-Men movie crossed over with Tron. (X-Men Forever #6)
In case you’re wondering, the Stranger’s mustache was already like that even before he got punched in the nose. (X-Men Forever #6)
Toad, as is often the case, has learned nothing. (X-Men Forever #6)
Next time: X-Force gets even more x-treme!

497 – Stranger Things

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In which Prosh’s plans sort of come to fruition; we do not know very much about movies; Iceman dies (but is fine); The Stranger gets around; and Toad learns nothing.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Stranger
  • X-Men Forever #4-6
  • Prosh (more) (again)
  • The story so far
  • Astra (again)
  • The Black Womb Project
  • Toad’s secret origins, possibly
  • Fashion
  • Hazard
  • Amanda Mueller (a bit)
  • Anguirus
  • The end of human civilization
  • Foreshadowing
  • A dramatic reveal
  • Several makeovers
  • Darth Toad
  • Fighting arenas / community theaters

NEXT EPISODE: Mystique reassembles the Brotherhood!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 496 – Time After Time

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A motley crew if we ever did see one! (X-Men Forever #1)
Say hello to our favorite ancient and benevolent hood ornament, Prosh! (X-Men Forever #1)
Prosh makes some friends. (X-Men Forever #1)
Remember this guy? No? You’re not familiar with Classic X-Men backup stories? Then… good luck. (X-Men Forever #1)
I am trading in my car right now. (X-Men Forever #1)
Prosh x-plains… pretty much everything. (X-Men Forever #1)
Raven Darkholme, making the hard choices. (X-Men Forever #2)
Judgment War reference! Alert! We have a Judgment War reference! (X-Men Forever #2)
If looks could kill… Half the population of Earth would be dead. (X-Men Forever #2)
Legion x-plains the Age of Apocalypse. (X-Men Forever #2)
Fast Travel Mode is weird. (X-Men Forever #2)
This is a very Marvel Comics moment. (X-Men Forever #3)
Things probably don’t get more complicated than this, right? (X-Men Forever #3)
The Snowman Era! (X-Men Forever #3)
Silver Age gotta Silver Age. (X-Men Forever #3)
NEXT TIME: Things do get more complicated.

496 – Time After Time

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In which Prosh assembles a peculiar team; the cosmic forces are somewhat paranoid; Mystique gets shit done; and we are very into the concept of Toadland.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Black Womb Project
  • X-Men Forever #1-3
  • Prosh
  • Several custom-grown people
  • A motley crew of mutants (and one human)
  • Cataclysm keys
  • The assassination of Graydon Creed
  • Several poignant reunions
  • The cosmic construction worker (Death)
  • Why the Phoenix Force chose Jean Grey
  • How much continuity is too much continuity
  • Pyro’s romance novels

NEXT EPISODE: The rest of the series!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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495 – The Goth

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In which Rogue is beset with leadership; Psylocke’s telekinetic sword is narratively inconsistent; the Crimson Pirates are bad at their job; and you should not look to Frank Punisher as a role model.

X-PLAINED:

  • Whether Dani Moonstar is still a Valkyrie
  • X-Men #103-104
  • Uncanny X-Men #384-385
  • A crossover
  • Tessa (somewhat)
  • A test
  • The Goth (group)
  • Skulls
  • The Crimson Pirates
  • The mind of Tullamore Voge
  • Something “rough trade” does not mean
  • Visual representation of telepathy
  • Kymri (again)
  • The Goth (individual)
  • Skycycles
  • A ruse
  • How to get the X-Perts at a convention near you
  • What happened to the Massachusetts Academy

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men Forever

The visual companion to this episode will be up in the near future!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 494 – You’ve Got Evil Mail

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Is Thunderbird cosplaying Colossus? (X-Men Unlimited #27)
Meet Neal Shaara! Or sometimes Neal Sharra, depending on who’s writing! (X-Men Unlimited #27)
In which Karima Shapandar literally jump-kicks her way into the issue. (See also the 1977 kung fu film The Invincible Armour.) (X-Men Unlimited #27)
And you haven’t even met Maggott yet! (X-Men Unlimited #27)
embarrassed_werewolf sounds like part of an auto-generated Reddit username. (X-Men Unlimited #27)
“Crap, instead of zapping them with the Robot Servant Ray, we zapped them with the Main Character Ray!” (X-Men Unlimited #27)
Aww, Sanjit. (X-Men Unlimited #27)
Hope you survive the experience! (X-Men Unlimited #27)
Check out Gambit’s sideways-Legion hair! And Beast’s Banshee disguise! (X-Men Unlimited #28)
Darkstar speaks for us all. (X-Men Unlimited #28)
This ain’t Beast’s first brainwashing rodeo. (X-Men Unlimited #28)
Listen, the Darkforce is just cool, okay? (X-Men Unlimited #28)
Dis not what Gambit had in mind. (X-Men Unlimited #28)
More like the Golden Death, really. (X-Men Unlimited #28)
Darkstar’s face is the same as Miles’s when he first discovered Cloud/Sephiroth slash almost 30 years ago. (X-Men Unlimited #28)
“No, my only weaknesses – rain and tasers!” (X-Men Unlimited #28)
Technology safety tip: if you get a suspicious email, blow up your computer! (X-Men Annual 2000)
Adorable downtime! (X-Men Annual 2000)
I love these goofballs so much. (X-Men Annual 2000)
Rogue learned a lot of things during her time with Magneto, like: if you have a problem, throw it into space. (X-Men Annual 2000)
The focused totality of her cutting your goddamn head off. (X-Men Annual 2000)
Everyone just looks really cool here. That’s the only significance. (X-Men Annual 2000)
GUN ARRRRRRMMMSSSSS (X-Men Annual 2000)
That’s some Claremont dialogue, alright (complimentary). (X-Men Annual 2000)
I guess that’s why Stryfe’s not too concerned with peripheral vision. Explains the helmet. (X-Men Annual 2000)
NEXT TIME: The Goth!

494 – You’ve Got Evil Mail

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In which the X-Men zealously protect their trademarks; Cable can have as many moms as he wants to; not everyone should have to be a superhero; Lady Deathstrike knows how to handle unauthorized emails; and somehow there are still more gun arms.

X-PLAINED:

  • Lady Deathstrike
  • X-Men Unlimited #27-28
  • X-Men Annual 2000
  • One reason to recycle code names
  • Thunderbird III (Neal Shaara)
  • Sanjit Shaara and his electronic diary
  • Karima Shapandar
  • Bastion and the Prime Sentinels (again) (briefly)
  • Omega Prime Sentinels
  • Rebirth Island and what lurks there
  • Darkstar (Laynia Petrovna)
  • Unusual disturbances
  • Whether Gambit sleeps
  • The Black Death
  • Internet security training with Bastion
  • The genealogy of Nora Ephron romantic comedy You’ve Got Mail
  • Fashion
  • Stryfe (again) (briefly)
  • Psylocke’s telekinetic katana
  • Interactions between Madelyne Pryor and her large adult son
  • Spiral’s Body Shop

NEXT EPISODE: The Brotherhood targets Senator Kelly… again.

Check out the visual companion to this episode here!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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493 – Now a Major Motion Picture

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In which the first X-Men film turns 25 (and holds up remarkably well).

X-PLAINED:

  • A startling absence
  • The X-Men’s big-screen debut
  • An X-film that might have been
  • X-Men (2000), in general; and related publications
  • Some very casting
  • What makes a good adaptation
  • Wolverine’s hair
  • Those costumes
  • The cinematic X-Men
  • The cinematic Brotherhood
  • Sabretooth’s eyebrows
  • Condensed backstories
  • The movie magic of magnetism
  • The worst toy of all time
  • Going to school with superheroes
  • Things we’d like to have seen in the movie

NEXT EPISODE: The origin of Thunderbird! (Not that one.) (Or that one.)

The visual companion to this episode is the film X-Men (2000).

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 492 – Brain Sharks

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Man, what a good opening image. (Uncanny X-Men #381)
Just, y’know, hanging out in Venice. (Uncanny X-Men #381)
BRAIN SHARKS! (Uncanny X-Men #381)
It does not, in fact, speak for itself. (Uncanny X-Men #382)
Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #382)
Note: These are not the Goth. Those guy show up later. (Uncanny X-Men #382)
Go, Gambit! (Uncanny X-Men #382)
Damn, Storm. (Uncanny X-Men #383)
The Slash and its bouncer. (Uncanny X-Men #383)
These are not members of the same band. (Uncanny X-Men #383)
Sketch. (Uncanny X-Men #383)
Sketch at work. (Uncanny X-Men #383)
These guys. (Uncanny X-Men #383)
GUN ARMS! (Uncanny X-Men #383)
Is there Sketch fanfic out there? Probably not, but there should be. (Uncanny X-Men #383)
NEXT EPISODE: The first X-Men film turns 25!

492 – Brain Sharks

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In which the Shockwave Riders are exceptionally silly; we are deeply impressed by brain sharks; and chrome plating and gun arms are among the lesser explored recurring Claremont motifs.

X-PLAINED:

  • The fate of Sara Grey
  • Revolution Claremont X-book disambiguation
  • Uncanny X-Men #381-383
  • The Neo (again)
  • An unmarked anniversary
  • A secret treasure trove
  • Vagaries of telekinesis and telepathy
  • The Shockwave Riders
  • Brain sharks that eat memories
  • The stuff of legend
  • The Lost Souls
  • Dirges and non-dirges
  • One way to start a conversation
  • Simyon Kurasov
  • Colonel Alexi Vazhin (again)
  • The Slash
  • How to dress to go clubbing
  • Blinkers, somewhat
  • Ransom Sole
  • Big Casino
  • Sketch
  • Revenant
  • Major Debra Levin
  • Bludgeon, Cudgel, and Manacle
  • Houndification
  • The best 21st century X-characters

NEXT EPISODE: The first X-Men movie turns 25!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!