Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 509 – No Fun Will Be Had

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If you’re in crisis and need someone to talk to, here are some resources (phone numbers are US specific):

  • 988 is a national mental health crisis helpline.
  • 741741 is a national crisis text line, reachable via text, online chat, or WhatsApp.
  • Trans Lifeline is a trans peer support hotline.
  • The Trevor Project offers round-the-clock phone and text support for queer and trans youth.
  • The Veterans Crisis Line offers 24/7 crisis support for veterans and can be reached directly or via 988.

The rest of the visual companion will be up later this week!

509 – No Fun Will Be Had

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In which Marrow just want to be left alone; Spider-Man remains hapless; S.H.I.E.L.D. is unhelpful; Colossus dies; Shadowcat leaves the X-Men; and we are all on board for Mutants to Watch Out For.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Magik caught the Legacy Virus
  • Marrow (again)
  • Spider-Man and Marrow #1
  • Uncanny X-Men #390
  • X-Men #110
  • A fancy club
  • A terrible plan
  • The Legacy Virus (more) (again)
  • Some deeply contrived “science”
  • A life-affirming display of social interaction
  • The death of Colossus
  • A very silly sound effect
  • Acceptable handwriting
  • Nostalgia
  • A double send-off
  • Closure
  • Mortality in Otherworld
  • Imaginary crossovers

NEXT EPISODE: Winter Special!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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As Mentioned in Episode 508 – Destiny’s Doodles

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A quick workout with Charles Xavier. (Uncanny X-Men #389)
At my funeral, I want a kazoo band. (Uncanny X-Men #389)
Joe Mactaggert is a jerk. (Uncanny X-Men #389)
Rachel’s actually okay, but Kitty doesn’t know that yet. (Uncanny X-Men #389)
DAMNIT. (Uncanny X-Men #389)
I wonder how weird and specific Destiny’s diaries get. (Uncanny X-Men #389)
Bad times. (Uncanny X-Men #389)
Is this a bit? (X-Men #109)
They’re gonna hook up, and then everyone’s going to forget that Thunderthird ever existed. Poor guy. (X-Men #109)
Ye Olde Hot Chocolate Hall. (X-Men #109)
Seriously, though, what the hell? (X-Men #109)
Oh, my. (X-Men #109)
I love that instead of making the holy family generally mutant-looking, they straight-up used X-Men statues. (X-Men #109)
Coming soon: X-Treme X-Men! (X-Men #109)
Based on size, maybe it’s a box of tissues? (X-Men #109)
Wellp. (X-Men #109)
BEHOLD YOUR LEGACY (X-Men #109)
NEXT EPISODE: Colossus dies!

508 – Destiny’s Doodles

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In which Professor Xavier is a jock; all of Shadowcat’s friends are dead; Storm recruits a team; Bishop makes new pals; and everyone gets festive.

X-PLAINED:

  • Some of Mystique’s secret kids
  • Uncanny X-Men #389
  • X-Men #109
  • Charles Xavier’s workout routine
  • Two funerals
  • Rave (the drug)
  • The wrong necklace
  • Destiny’s doodles
  • A large knife
  • Charles Xavier/Moira MacTaggert backstory
  • A snowball fight
  • A very sketchy circus
  • A break-up
  • “Christmas cheer”
  • A mysterious package
  • An X-Men nativity
  • Sage (Tessa)
  • Origins of X-Treme X-Men
  • Several gifts, some more mysterious than others
  • Charles Xavier’s legacy
  • Warwolves (more) (again)
  • Archangel’s color vision

NEXT EPISODE: Colossus dies!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 507 – Comic Book Logic

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CD-Rs, our lost beloveds. (X-Force #114)
They’re so delightfully blasé about it. (X-Force #114)
X-Force swimsuit special! (X-Force #114)
Agent Corben. (X-Force #114)
One way to stealthily kidnap a man. (X-Force #115)
Still can’t get over how wildly impractical Tabitha’s cape is. (X-Force #115)
Go, team! (X-Force #115)
The World Engine is kinda icky. (X-Force #115)
*rimshot* (X-Force #115)
Damn, Emma. (Generation X #75)
This panel is mostly in here to spotlight Paige’s transcendently southern hair. (Generation X #75)
Damn, Emma. (Generation X #75)
Hee. (Generation X #75)
One of many hugs. (Generation X #75)
Gonna miss these kids. (Generation X #75)
NEXT EPISODE: More endings!

507 – Comic Book Logic

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In which there are a lot of explosions in X-Force; Great Britain-616 is to intelligence as Canada-616 is to military; Alastair Stuart used to be fun; Emma Frost is here to stomp on your dreams; Chamber joins the X-Men; and the Generation X kids graduate themselves.

X-PLAINED:

  • Revolution (again)
  • Counter-X (again)
  • X-Force #114-115
  • Generation X #75
  • Yet another origin of humanity and/or life on Earth (again)
  • The World Engine
  • Accurate representation of CD-Rs
  • Genetech
  • A swimsuit interlude
  • Agent Corben
  • Alastair Stuart (more) (again)
  • A kidnapping
  • A really amazingly terrible plan
  • A particularly large explosion
  • The remaining 14 issues of X-Force vol. 1
  • An interlude at Applebee’s
  • Bad times at the New Xavier School
  • A murder (more) (again)
  • Intersectional superheroism
  • An additional bonus murder
  • An invitation
  • Many goodbyes
  • What happens next to the Generation X kids

NEXT EPISODE: The end of Revolution

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 506 – The House at the End of the World

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Totally irrelevant to this story, but cool design. (Cable #85)
They have to abbreviate the name for the phone book. (Cable #85)
SMUFF, tho (Cable #85)
This will never come up again, ever. (Cable #85)
Cable’s time suit. (Cable #85)
Gaunt, who is probably actually Kang. (Cable #85)
We are ALWAYS here for awkward Summers family hugs. (Cable #86)
SHIRTS OFF (Cable #86)
Whoops. (Cable #86)
An unlikely frienship. (Cable #88)
What the fuck, Nightcrawler? (Cable #88)
Do you want Major X? Because that’s how you get Major X. (Cable #88)
Here’s to you, Video Renaissance. (Cable #88)
NEXT EPISODE: Two endings.

506 – The House at the End of the World

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In which Jay remains angry at a font; a person who is obviously Kang the Conqueror is not in fact Kang the Conqueror; the pig men deserve better; and Nightcrawler should never, ever, ever be allowed to attempt grief counseling.

X-PLAINED:

  • Storm/Cable
  • Cable #85-86, 88
  • Cable (more)(again)
  • Earth-4935
  • Mother Askani
  • Irene Merryweather
  • Several cryptic witches
  • Are you as dangerous as you think martial arts training for advanced students
  • Shin
  • An unlikely sound effect
  • The Black Dawn
  • A time catapult
  • An End of Time
  • Earth-805110
  • The House on the Borderline
  • Gaunt
  • One of Esad Ribic’s more entertaining accomplishments
  • A fight
  • One way to weaponize the T-O virus
  • The future past of Rachel Summers
  • Cable’s friendship with Moira MacTaggert
  • Streets of Fire
  • Grief counseling? Sort of? I guess?
  • A very impressive spear
  • Our muppet counterparts

NEXT EPISODE: Two endings!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 505 – The Amulet of Ass

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Excalibur volume 2! But actually more like Captain Britain volume 2. (Excalibur #1)
Pretty sure we’ve all had that dream. (Excalibur #1)
What a sciencey science machine that is! (Excalibur #1)
You’d think Betsy’s face tattoo would remind Brian of the Crimson Dawn… But honestly, who remembers the Crimson Dawn? (Excalibur #1)
Where’s Waldo? (Or, this being a British story: Where’s Wally?) (Excalibur #1)
Some friend. (Excalibur #1)
Captain UK’s mullet remains sweet. (Excalibur #1)
Hi, Crusader X! (Excalibur #2)
Meggan didn’t get the memo that this was a crotch-first mission. (Excalibur #2)
…as played by Viggo Mortensen. (Excalibur #2)
I do love a good Team Hero pose. (Excalibur #2)
“It’s… probably one of these things on my back… Hang on…” (Excalibur #2)
The Brit-Cave! (Excalibur #2)
Subtlety! (Excalibur #3)
The greatest hero in history, chosen primarily for his… sperm? (Excalibur #3)
“Not, like, literally Excalibur. That thing’s in the next room.” (Excalibur #3)
An evil science machine! (Excalibur #3)
You guys used to be cuter. And less murderous. (Excalibur #3)
Gahhh, this panel is referencing a specific past panel from a specific past comic, but we can’t remember which! (Excalibur #3)
Sword of Omens, grant me sight beyond sight! (Excalibur #3)
Best trope best trope! (Excalibur #4)
Mastermind wields the blade Excalibur! Brian Braddock wields an especially dangerous word balloon! (Excalibur #4)
With the powers of elemental magic, telekinesis, and… sword! (Excalibur #4)
It works way better to sacrifice your queen when your queen is immune to death. (Excalibur #4)
“Hey, I liked my spikes, ya jerk!” (Excalibur #4)
The chamber would be filled with old familiar faces, but they’re all dead. (Excalibur #4)
…and no one ever spoke of this again. (Excalibur #4)
NEXT TIME: Rachel Summers is back!

505 – The Amulet of Ass

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In which Widget takes a heel turn; there is some confusion over sword identification; we appreciate Sir Benedict of the Falls; the Braddock family has a lot going on; and Otherworld changes hands.

X-PLAINED:

  • Names for flying horses
  • Excalibur (2001 miniseries) #1-4
  • Captain Britain (Brian Braddock) (briefly) (again)
  • The Black Knight (Dane Whitman)
  • Darkmoor Research Facility
  • Sword and amulet distribution
  • Strider the Horse
  • Why all the horses of Asgard have Tolkien names
  • Sir Benedict of the Falls and his many axes
  • One way to win a bridge fight
  • Sword pops
  • Several continuity errors
  • Holographic James Braddock
  • The Dad Cave
  • Otherworld eugenecists
  • A coronation
  • A twist
  • Some potential X-Factor lineups
  • Life expectancies of mutants with healing factors

NEXT EPISODE: Cable fights some guys.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!