Miles

429 – Slightly Sticky

November 5, 2023 Miles 15 comments

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In which you should stop hatin’, there’s a big difference between fill-ins and filler, Snow Valley needs higher Ferris wheel standards, Todd DeZago must really hate video rental clerks, and we’re all monsters – some of us just smell better than others.

X-PLAINED:

Strong Guy’s hellacious history
The nature and purpose of X-Men Unlimited
X-Men Unlimited #20-21
Rock Trolls (Chambliss, Nettles, and Munson)
What Asgard was up to in 1998
Magik vs magic
The Snow Valley Harvest Festival
Jubilation Lee, one of the guys
Eagles vs Hats
Fatman, Beardlady-o, Stickman-o, & Frogman-o
Tic Tac Toe fundamentals
Angry mobs
Paige Guthrie, Angry Mom
The many potential applications of Husk’s powers
Falls Edge, VA vs Eagle Ridge, WV
Payphones & video rental stores
X-friends
Rutland, VT (again)
Melvin J. Weals
Helen Back
The Donnybrook Country Club
Cat Fancier & Motorcycle Conventions
The Shi’ar Wardrobe Transmogrifier
Steel (the Shaq one)
The worst pun we’ve ever seen in a comic
Earth: the Hipster Planet
Which X-Men throw the best and/or wildest Halloween parties
Fan-casting X-voices

NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men team up with the Fantastic Four!

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Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 428 – Naked in a Cake

October 22, 2023 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

So who is that in the cake? (Excalibur #124)

A bridal shower! (Excalibur #124)

A bachelor party! (Excalibur #124)

Seriously, why is this a thing (Excalibur #124)

Yep, we’ve missed the Crazy Gang. (Excalibur #124)

Awk-ward (Excalibur #124)

To answer Suzy Eddie Izzard’s question: cake and death! (Excalibur #124)

And then Feron’s life got even worse. (Excalibur #124)

And a good time was had by all… especially Captain UK and Mimic, I assume. (Excalibur #124)

Love and chaos. (Excalibur #125)

Cameos! (Excalibur #125)

More cameos! (Excalibur #125)

I have questions about this pipe organ. (Excalibur #125)

Healthy… communication? Is that a thing in the Marvel Universe? Is that allowed? (Excalibur #125)

WHO INVITED THE NAZIS (Excalibur #125)

And have they ever earned it. (Excalibur #125)

Gatecrasher has the weeds! (Excalibur #125)

Lockheed, I know you want Piotr and Kitty to get together, but I assure you this will not work out. (Excalibur #125)

Nobody does wedding receptions like the Starlight Citadel of Otherworld. (Excalibur #125)

Man, that really is a shockingly tiny invitation. (Excalibur #125)

See, Feron? Just because everyone forgets about you doesn’t mean you have to jump out of a cake to try to murder people! (Excalibur #125)

Saturnyne, this is literally the worst possible time. (Excalibur #125)

Kurt, this is… also not a great time. (Excalibur #125)

Dammit, now I’m tearing up. (Excalibur #125)

And that, as they say, is that. (Excalibur #125)

NEXT TIME: X-Factor is back! Kind of!

428 – Naked in a Cake

October 22, 2023 Miles 9 comments

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In which you shouldn’t invite nazis to your wedding, there’s a lot of multiverse, Captain Britain and Meggan are pretty heteronormative but make it work, everybody forgot Feron, and the next husband will be Gatecrasher’s.

X-PLAINED:

Captain Britain varieties
The history of Brian Braddock and Meggan Puceanu, abridged
Excalibur #124-125
Mutants most likely to jump out of a cake
The Crazy Gang (again)
Meggan’s crush on Colossus
Colossus’s guilt about Meggan’s crush on Colossus
A surprise bridal shower
The return of Captain UK
Brian Braddock’s teetotaling techniques
Mimic’s ever-changing facial hair
Glorious, glorious chaos
Poor, poor Feron
Multiple awkward conversations
The return of Widget and also everyone else
Lightning Force (dammit)
A lengthy but not exhaustive list of Captains Britain
So many cameos
…Seriously, so many cameos
Dai Thomas’s anti-iron
Shockingly healthy communication
Bouquet brawls and garter gar-nage
A bittersweet ending
Nightcrawler’s best outfit
The universe where the X-Men X-Plain Jay & Miles
Our hypothetical post-finale Excalibur lineup

NEXT EPISODE: The return of X-Factor! Kind of!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 427 – Standard Deviation

October 22, 2023 Miles Leave a comment

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Why doesn’t Adam Pollina draw all the mythology? (X-Force #81)

Just another day for X-Force. (X-Force #81)

You could take away the word balloons and we’d still know so much about these characters just from their outfits and body language! (X-Force #81)

This panel doesn’t have much to do with continuity, but it sure is pretty. (X-Force #81)

Again: JUST ANOTHER DAY FOR X-FORCE (X-Force #81)

Siryn flirts. (X-Force #81)

“Your first clue should have been the rad halo-thing Adam Pollina drew behind me.” (X-Force #81)

We’ll miss you, Adam Pollina. Thanks for the memories. (X-Force #81)

Hi, Jesse Aaronson AKA Bedlam! Hi, Cait Sith! (X-Force #82)

I enjoy how “rebuilt from the brink of death” also translates to “wearing a super-cool set of insectoid armor.” (X-Force #82)

Pollina may be gone, but the action scenes are still pretty awesome. (X-Force #82)

Jesse, that is not how you give a massage. (X-Force #82)

“Sorry we’re late, it took us a while to adequately rip up our clothes.” (X-Force #82)

Yeah, okay – we love this guy. (X-Force #82)

Sam Guthrie X-Plains (his time on) the X-Men. (X-Force #83)

I think your guts may actually be tied up in abs, Sam. (X-Force #83)

Just enough of that yellow and purple left to still make them look like a team – and just enough folks without that uniform to make it clear how long it’s been since those days. (X-Force #83)

You may have thought we were being euphemistic when we said Jesse was sent off to live on a farm – but nope, actual farm. (X-Force #83)

Pig-riding blonde Lara Croft thinks these gentlemen make some excellent points. (X-Force #83)

This sentai team looks mean. (X-Force #84)

Loyalty, punching, and heroism. That’s our Sam. (X-Force #84)

It’s cool, Guthrie – not everyone can be photogenic. (X-Force #84)

Nobody ever gets to finish a conversation in the Marvel Universe. (X-Force #84)

Arcadia has the power to make people look really cool. (X-Force #84)

Jim Cheung does Jack Kirby. (X-Force #84)

NEXT EPISODE: The end of Excalibur!

As Mentioned in Episode 419 – Stuff Happens

July 29, 2023 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Run, Penance! The retcons are coming for you! (Generation X #40)

Hey, that’s not how telepathy works! (Generation X #40)

I’d be responding with a lot more middle fingers and lawsuits than Synch is here. (Generation X #40)

Monet, I know your brother is super evil and all, but do you really have to be so mean about it? (Generation X #40)

I see someone just earned their Villainous Wordplay merit badge! (Generation X #40)

Huh, that was easy. (Generation X #40)

…as Disney’s copyright lawyers back slowly away… (Generation X #40)

This issue’s an odd and somewhat troubling one, but damn that art is great. (Generation X #41)

Jubilee: from youngest X-Man to youngest Gen X’er. (Generation X #41)

AAAAAAAHHHHHHH (Generation X #41)

And once more I say AAAAAAAHHHHHHH (Generation X #41)

I’m impressed we can tell Emma and Paige apart for once, but what really impresses me is EVERYTHING ABOUT JUBILEE’S HAIR (Generation X #42)

Is… is this how flirting works? Have we been doing it wrong? (Generation X #42)

We’ll get to this. (Generation X #42)

The color of PAIN (Generation X #42)

It must be hard to be Just Some Dude in the Marvel Universe. (Generation X #42)

Why Gaia is probably actually a Neutrino from TMNT, figure 1. (Generation X #42)

Why Gaia is probably actually a Neutrino from TMNT, figure 2. (Generation X #42)

Hi, Elsie-Dee and Albert! Bye, Elsie-Dee and Albert! (Generation X #42)

I feel like Emma makes that face at Sean a lot. (Generation X #43)

This run may be baffling and bizarre, but I can’t say I’m not having a good time. (Generation X #43)

FUN FACT: Did you know that 1996’s Super Mario RPG was the first time Princess Peach, then called Princess Toadstool, used a frying pan as a weapon? (Generation X #43)

Oh right, these guys. (Generation X #43)

NEXT EPISODE: Queering Wolverine with Dr. Christopher Michael Roman!

419 – Stuff Happens

July 29, 2023 Miles 9 comments

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In which the St. Croix family is constructed largely of retcons; Generation X adjusts surprisingly quickly to a massive status quo shift; Psi-War is coming soon to a podcast near you; Snow White – I mean, Bianca LaNeige – has an intriguing but exceptionally minimal backstory; and if you die in this podcast episode, you die in real life.

X-PLAINED:

Hellfire Club history
Generation X #40-43
MillXnials
Mercy General Hospital vs Our Mother of Mercy Hospital
Ambiguous psionic overlap
Nicole & Claudette & Monet & Marius St. Croix
The Downtown Stomp
Synch, agreeable and bland (for now)
Vincent Adultman
The nature of Penance
A glacial but effective pace
Bianca LaNeige, evil Snow White from space
Warpy, Stinky, Spiky, Windy, Greasy, Brainy, and Blurry
The Enchanted Forest of Oregon
Claremont:Body Swaps::Hama:Getting Stuck In Other Dimensions
Jay vs. Accents
Terminal Dream Syndrome
A surprisingly gruesome fill-in
An underrated era for Emma Frost
Betty & Veronica, presenting like mandrills
Zak the Neutrino
Albert & Elsie-Dee (briefly)
The Dodsons vs Mike Allred
Dr. Bronner’s uncredited Marvel career
Our coverage of Ultimate X-Men (or lack thereof)
Dr. Phil Zimbardo’s xplainthexmen study

NEXT EPISODE: Queering Wolverine with Dr. Christopher Michael Roman!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 412 – Yappin’ and Scrappin’

May 28, 2023 Miles 2 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

And then Cyclops left for Alaska again. (X-Men #71)

Dark Phoenix athleisure! (X-Men #71)

As Piglet and Tigger slowly back away… (X-Men #71)

The past didn’t go anywhere. (X-Men #71)

Between Kelly and Pacheco, that is a hell of a compelling conversation. (X-Men #71)

So, how was the trip to Counter-Earth? What was your favorite part? Didja bring us anything? (X-Men #71)

Battle of the gross bone-spikes (X-Men #72)

Marrow’s online handle is xXBloodReaper69Xx (X-Men #72)

Not a good look, Ororo. (X-Men #72)

Fun fact: every case study in Miles’s college neuropsychology text book was about a brain injury from a motorcycle accident! (Uncanny X-Men #351)

“It’s a hypnotic pterodactyl wearing jorts in a metal box, obviously!!! (Uncanny X-Men #351)

To be fair, they don’t look very nice. (Uncanny X-Men #351)

And yet, Pyro’s insurance company still would have encouraged him to go to Urgent Care instead. (Uncanny X-Men #351)

Where’s Waldo? (Uncanny X-Men #351)

Cecilia has no time for Daredevil’s bullshit… and Daredevil has a lot of bullshit. (Uncanny X-Men #351)

Jay and Miles after recording an episode. (Uncanny X-Men #351)

Oh no (Uncanny X-Men #352)

“Honey, I think the new neighbors may be… weird.” (Uncanny X-Men #352)

“…ya dick.” (Uncanny X-Men #352)

ZIELL ZIELL (Uncanny X-Men #352)

Does “evil custodians” belong in r/rareinsults or r/brandnewsentence? (Uncanny X-Men #352)

Then panel below this shows Miles’s face melting into that time he accidentally deleted his Final Fantasy VI save right after unlocking the Paladin Shield. (Uncanny X-Men #352)

See you in the desert, Sam! (Uncanny X-Men #352)

Jean Grey, action hero! (Uncanny X-Men #352)

It… it’ll be fine. Yeah, fine. Probably. (Uncanny X-Men #352)

NEXT TIME: X-Force goes to Burning Man!

Links & Further Reading

The Cyclops Cycle: A Heroic Crown of Sonnets by Brian Mackenwells

412 – Yappin’ and Scrappin’

May 28, 2023 Miles 7 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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In which Kelly and Seagle’s X-runs begin with immense promise; dark psychic residue gets just everywhere; Storm’s past is literally buried; Wolverine is just saying is all; Cecilia Reyes’s job doesn’t deserve her, and Cyclops and Phoenix are the worst at being normal.

X-PLAINED:

The Grey family reunion
X-Men #71-72
What counts as an Uncanny X-Men #138 cover reference
Baggage and also suitcases
Steve Seagle’s (scuttled) Phoenix plans
Bone whiskers
Telemarketer power moves
Cecilia Reyes
Marrow (Sarah)
Sam Guthrie’s tiny ponytail
The ol’ wall-of-televisions trope
The cost of one banana
Sebastian Shaw vs the IRS (maybe)
A mostly empty attic
Wolverine’s etiquette lessons
The dessert claw vs the salad claw
The physicality of Carlos Pacheco’s art
Cannonball, the grown-up in the room
Magneto’s increasingly complicated past
Magnus, Erik, and Max (again)
Uncanny X-Men #351-352
Cecilia Reyes’s return-to-office
Intersectionality
Pyro, forever dying of the Legacy Virus
Daredevil vs Cecilia Reyes’s bedside manner
Kevin, Lord of the Jungle
Ending conversations by turning into a bird
A.I.M.* (*Advanced Idea Mechanics)
Crows of Ill Portent
A Box of Entity
Condors and Cockatoos
Logan’s denim proclivities
Arcade vs. Mojo

Special thanks to Dylan Higgins for edits and production assistance!

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force goes to Burning Man!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!