Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Author: Jay

As Mentioned in Episode 273 – The Back-End Creep

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Ouch. (Wolverine #85)
Do you think Cable got there early and then waited for someone to say his name so he could make a dramatic entrance? (Wolverine #85)
here is your large adult son (Wolverine #85)
Aw, man, right in the feels. (Wolverine #85)
And again. (Wolverine #85)
I like this cover more than it probably deserves. (Cable #16)
Lang’s tiny panties might be the weirdest thing about the whole Phalanx situation. (Cable #16)
Well, that happened. (Cable #16)
Cable vs. Derrida. (Cable #16)
He really never learns. (Cable #16)
It’s cute how anyone ever thinks Cameron Hodge is going to accept defeat with grace. (Cable #16)
GET IT? ‘CAUSE HE’S POINTY! (Cable #16)
NEXT EPISODE: Talking House of X and Powers of X with Chris Eddleman!

LINKS & FURTHER CATASTROPHES:

273 – The Back-End Creep (The Phalanx Covenant, Part 3 of 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we have been on All the Podcasts; Full Shred Thrash is easier to say that it sounds; the Phalanx uses dial-up; Cable is a very large man; Larry Hama writes excellent banter; Cyclops has been progressively desensitized to plane crashes; Cameron Hodge is never graceful in defeat; and Final Sanction is actually about family.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mithras
  • A large number of guest appearances
  • Thor: Metal Gods
  • The Phalanx Covenant so far
  • Full Shred Thrash
  • Adam Kubert
  • Wolverine #85
  • Cable #16
  • Gorp, Waldo, and Apache
  • Popping silk
  • A Summers family reunion
  • Jean and Nathan
  • Jean Grey’s astral form
  • Genetics
  • Several airplanes
  • Mountain climbing
  • Gelatinous yahoos
  • Several impermanent deaths
  • Pregnant X-team members
  • Outside references to the X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: House of X, feat. Chris Eddleman

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As Mentioned in Episode 272 – Children of the Phalanx

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
(X-Factor #106)
Damn skippy. (X-Factor #106)
Ew. (X-Factor #106)
Okay, the Phalanx is legitimately both cool and scary here. (X-Factor #106)
The looks on their respective faces really make this panel. (X-Factor #106)
R.I.P. (X-Factor #106)
Oh, THESE jerks. Again. (X-Factor #106)
Forge-o-Vision involves a lot of lucite rods, apparently. (X-Factor #106)
Douglock X-Plains the Phalanx. (X-Factor #106)
Spoiler: It’s all Phalanx. (X-Force #38)
My kingdom for this panel as drawn by Barry Windsor-Smith. (X-Force #38)
HE LOOKS LIKE A DINOSAUR OKAY (X-Force #38)
The Babel Spire has some serious Inferno vibes. (Excalibur #82)
Oh, yeah, this DEFINITELY ends well. (Excalibur #82)
Presenting: The stealth team. (Excalibur #82)
NEXT EPISODE: The Summers family goes rock climbing.

272 – Children of the Phalanx (the Phalanx Covenant, Part 2 of 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Ship was inside Cable all along; Life Signs is the Two Towers of the Phalanx Covenant (but only in the bad ways), it’s lucky that the Phalanx doesn’t have WiFi; Nightcrawler embraces chaos; and we promise the crossover gets better next chapter.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Cable got his Ship back
  • Miles’s official stance on candy corn
  • The Two Towers of the Phalanx Covenant
  • X-Factor #106
  • X-Force #38
  • Excalibur #82
  • A monastery party
  • Douglock (more) (again)
  • Forge-O-Vision
  • How Steven Lang got mixed up with the Phalanx
  • Stages of Phalanx development
  • Babel
  • Giuseppe Russo, shepherd
  • The Phalanx, but dogs
  • Shinar
  • What you get when you meet a stranger in the Alps
  • Whom we’d like to see draw the Phalanx
  • Mindwifery
  • Adulthood
  • “Stealth”
  • Where baby Phalanxes come from
  • Teamwork
  • Good stories about Hope Summers
  • What happened to Paul Bailey

NEXT EPISODE: Rock climbing with the Summers Family

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 271 – Abs for Days

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
And we open our cover spotlight series with Monet, who is, for some reason, tiptoeing in big clunky boots. (Uncanny X-Men #316)
A name AND implied backstory? Yeah, she’s doomed. (Uncanny X-Men #316)
Okay, yeah, Kubert’s Banshee can get it. (Uncanny X-Men #316)
This is actually a great look. Too bad it’s a Phalanx doppelgänger. (Uncanny X-Men #316)
There they are, folks: Banshee’s abs. (Uncanny X-Men #316)
Next up: Synch! (X-Men #36)
He just looks so wrong with the intact glasses! (X-Men #36)
Showing a bunch of predominantly white cops holding guns on an unarmed black teenager while claiming that superpowers are the only issue in play is a pretty good illustration of exactly how the mutant metaphor fails at intersectionality. (X-Men #36)
Oh, hey, the Phalanx got legit scary! (X-Men #36)
[whispered] but why does the phalanx need abs (X-Men #36)
Heck, yeah, dynamic covers! (Uncanny X-Men #317)
The gang’s (almost) all here! (Uncanny X-Men #317)
Seriously, he might as well just wear a t-shirt that says “I’m a supervillain pretending to be a teenager.” (Uncanny X-Men #317)
nope (Uncanny X-Men #317)
For those of you wondering: Yes, they will eventually hook up. (Uncanny X-Men #317)
What I’m mostly getting from this is that the Phalanx offers great dental. (Uncanny X-Men #317)
Chekhov’s teleportation accident. (Uncanny X-Men #317)
Monet is actually both of her younger sisters right now, but try not to think too much about it. (Uncanny X-Men #317)
I liked the last one better. (X-Men #37)
Definitely the French lessons. (X-Men #37)
Husk’s powers are so gross and awesome! (X-Men #37)
Such a cool use of layout. (X-Men #37)
Aw, man. (X-Men #37)
NEXT EPISODE: No puppy for Forge.

LINKS & FURTHER TRAVELS:

  • If you like picture books, it’s worth taking some time to check out the work of Peter Sís.

271 – Abs for Days (The Phalanx Covenant, Part 1 of 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we’re finally both back in the virtual studio; Generation X is the new Inferno; the Phalanx Covenant begins; we’re not talking about Hickman in our coverage of this story; Banshee is the adult in the room; the Phalanx is pretty sexist; and gross powers are cool.

X-PLAINED:

  • Blink
  • Peter Sís
  • The Phalanx Covenant
  • “Generation Next” (but not Generation Next)
  • Uncanny X-Men #316-317
  • X-Men #36-37
  • Yet another way to do a crossover event
  • Some very good visual branding
  • What we’re not covering
  • Sexy Banshee
  • Retired Colonel Gayle Cordbecker
  • Monet St. Croix (kind of)
  • Coaxing
  • Early days of the Internets
  • Everett Thomas (Synch)
  • The fate of Sara Grey
  • Phalanx Phashion
  • Angelo Espinosa (Skin)
  • Clarice Ferguson (Blink)
  • Some guy allegedly named Gregor
  • Harvest
  • A very expensive house
  • An apparent death

NEXT EPISODE: Forge does not get a puppy.

NOTE: Jay was right: LiveJournal first launched in 1999.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 269 – Double Dactyl

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

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LINKS & FURTHER VILLAINY

SEANAN MCGUIRE IS COOL AS HELL

269 – NYCC 2019 Sofa Special: Double Dactyl, feat. Seanan McGuire

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Seanan and Jay break down their favorite X-Villains; technically everyone is always cosplaying Mystique; Magneto remains the gold standard; and we have some concerns about Eye Boy.

X-PLAINED:

  • Candy Corn, and our official stance thereon
  • Halloween candy economy
  • Which X-Character to dress as for your office Halloween party
  • X-Villains
  • What makes Magneto tick
  • Magneto as a Holocaust survivor
  • What makes a villain redeemable
  • Face turns
  • The last DDR machine in New York, and denizens thereof
  • An X-Villain musical
  • Mystique
  • How to make Daken work
  • Avengers as antagonists
  • Sinister’s goals
  • Bringing back Cameron Hodge
  • Meggan vs. Brexit
  • Heel turns

NEXT EPISODE: Stokes + Stokes!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 267 – The Saddest Joyride

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
One of those images that has really, really stuck with us over the years. (Uncanny X-Men #314)
It took a lot of self restraint not to post every single drawing of Emma in Bobby’s body from this issue. (Uncanny X-Men #314)
Those Sienkiewicz inks! (Uncanny X-Men #314)
DAMN, Emma. (Uncanny X-Men #314)
You can almost see Generation X forming between the panels. (Uncanny X-Men #314)
Programming a hologram of his dead sister to harangue him in the Danger Room may be the most Bishop move yet. (Uncanny X-Men #314)
He sewed that cape out of SO MANY cheap vinyl Catwoman costumes. (X-Men Annual #18)
Never take teenagers hostage; they’ll just judge you ’til you let them go out of sheer insecurity. (X-Men Annual #18)
[Insert Jude the Obscure joke here.] (X-Men Annual #18)
Don’t fuck with Jean Grey. (X-Men Annual #18)
WHY IS THERE A GIANT SQUID HERE (X-Men Annual #18)
Aw, Bishop. (X-Men Annual #18)
For more of this beautiful friendship, we’d recommend giving canon a miss and going straight to fellow X-Podling Adam Reck’s delightful Bish & Jubes–and, while you’re at it, supporting the collected edition on Kickstarter!
On Fridays, we wear fuchsia. (Uncanny X-Men #315)
That is one sweet coma beard. (Uncanny X-Men #315)
Yes, this is a good speech; but also, I just realized that given that the whole trial happens in space, it definitely falls under maritime law, AND I FORGOT TO MAKE ANY JOKES ABOUT IT IN THE EPISODE. (Uncanny X-Men #315)
NEXT EPISODE: We’re so close to nearly reaching what’s almost the Phalanx Covenant!

LINKS & FURTHER ACTION POINTS

267 – The Saddest Joyride

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Emma Frost is a better Iceman than Bobby Drake; Generation X is aggressively foreshadowed; Malcolm and Randall are the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to Bishop’s Hamlet; and we launch a campaign for our own Multiversal designation.

X-PLAINED:

  • The first time the X-Men met Emma Frost
  • Uncanny X-Men 314-315
  • X-Men Annual #18
  • A game show nobody should ever under any circumstances actually make
  • Emma Frost’s recruitment tactics
  • Previously unexplored ice powers
  • The direct prelude to Generation X
  • Caliban (more) (again)
  • SoftPaws(TM)
  • The giant squids of New York
  • The neophyte
  • A trial, kind of
  • X-Men power fantasies
  • Earth-X-Plain

NEXT EPISODE: We’re so close to nearly reaching what’s almost the Phalanx Covenant!

Game show music by MusicManiac301; used with permission.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!