Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Category: Blog Posts

As Mentioned in Episode 289 – Unsolved Mysteries

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
A ToS Trek novel, specifically, I think. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
This statue sucks. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
Sinister is a terrible parent. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
Okay, but why are the guys they’re fighting wearing bondage harnesses? (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
We were so baffled by the abs that we did not consider that they had been dressing him in skintight jeans and pirate boots for five years. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
Robbie flippin’ Robertson: a badass in any universe. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
“Is it me, or do these briefings get weirder every time?” (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
It would be more depressing when Sinister told him he was the worse brother, though. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
These assholes work for a genocidal nightmare regime and yet call a graveyard “the ghost lands.” (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
A familiar story, except where it’s not. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
OH, SHIT. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
If you didn’t know Corsair was doomed before, Havok’s last line definitely clinches it. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
There’s probably a Gatecrasher joke to be found somewhere, but honestly, after this week, I’m fresh out. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
Still not the most awkward conversation they’ve had in a comic, for what it’s worth. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light)
Yeah, Death, you’re not gonna impress Cyclops with that. He was raised by Sinister; he’s effectively immune to Extra. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light)
Sweatertown: Population, Blink. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light)
Aw, Ship. =( (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light)
He really is. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light)
I bet when people tell AoA Nightcrawler “Your Mom” jokes, he just kinda sighs and acknowledges that they’re probably right. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light)
BLACKAGAR BOLTAGON YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light)
Look, I’m just saying: it’s no telling Dracula to follow his heart. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light)
NEXT EPISODE: Astonishing X-Men

LINKS & FURTHER CATASTROPHES:

As Mentioned in Episode 288 – Cape Citadel Remix

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
The brightness of this cover is so distinctive among the generally dark aesthetic of AoA. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)
Scenic Wundagore Mountain. Don’t get too attached. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)
It’s weird how functional their relationship is in this timeline. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)
Dig those primary colors! (X-Men: Chronicles #1)
Ugh, THAT guy. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)
“Also, we’re gonna divide you all up into guilds.” (X-Men: Chronicles #1)
Aw, kiddo. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)
Ah, yes, the traditional horsemen of Death, War, Gideon, Candra, and Sabretooth. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)
This guy is going to get immolated and then change his name to Holocaust, because he makes universally poor choices. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)
Meanwhile on ao3… (X-Men: Chronicles #1)
I like how retro Apocalypse is at the beginning of Earth-295 his rise. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)
So, yeah, that’s Wolverine. (X-Men: Chronicles #2)
I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND THE SHOULDERS (X-Men: Chronicles #2)
“Who has the least healthy boundaries?” (X-Men: Chronicles #2)
The X-Men’s presence is about 50/50 concern/ogling. (X-Men: Chronicles #2)
Nope. (X-Men: Chronicles #2)
How not to ask your crush out, starring Remy LeBeau, Disaster Bisexual. (X-Men: Chronicles #2)
Any time they have sex. every credit card in the mansion ends up demagnetized. (X-Men: Chronicles #2)
TFW canon sticks an OTP in your OT3. (X-Men: Chronicles #2)
Seriously, HOW? (X-Men: Chronicles #2)
NEXT EPISODE: Somehow, Summers family reunions get even worse.

Welcome to the Glammest Timeline

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HI! Jay here! This week we dove into the gritty, glittery entrails of Earth-295 (better known as the Age of Apocalypse), where we’ll be spending the next several months. And as some of you have spotted, we’ve updated our cover art to match, care of x-ceptional artist and long-time friend of the show Peter Nguyen:

HOT DAMN

Not only that, but Peter hooked us up with a time-lapse video of the creation of the cover, condensing about four hours of digital art into four minutes, which you can watch below the cut! Continue reading

As Mentioned in Episode 287 – Welcome to the Age of Apocalypse

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Peter Nguyen updated the show cover art for the glammest timeline!
Not your mama’s X-Men (unless she’s from Earth-295). (X-Men: Alpha)
Clearly in Earth-295 they didn’t reschedule this year’s ECCC. (X-Men: Alpha)
All-New, All-Glam! (X-Men: Alpha)
Ouch. (X-Men: Alpha)
Magneto’s edging awfully close to moppethood here. (X-Men: Alpha)
It’s been a rough timeline for Bishop. (X-Men: Alpha)
Meet the New Beast, somewhat different from the Old Beast. (X-Men: Alpha)
Still ABD, though. (X-Men: Alpha)
The hair is definitely better than the outfit. (X-Men: Alpha)
You absolutely have not. (X-Men: Alpha)
The Weimar Republic of Apocalypse. (X-Men: Alpha)
That’s not… y’know, never mind. (X-Men: Alpha)
WE HAVE QUESTIONS. (X-Men: Alpha)
Heh. “Truant officer of the damned.” (X-Men: Alpha)
His forearms are really weird, right? Or is that just me? (X-Men: Alpha)
The Human Council! (X-Men: Alpha)
Her hair is so good! (X-Men: Alpha)
I really want to edit this with all the most potentially embarrassing moments of Magneto’s 616 life. (X-Men: Alpha)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (X-Men: Alpha)
NEXT EPISODE: Previously on Earth-295…

LINKS & FURTHER UNIVERSES:

Regarding ECCC 2020

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After a lot of thought, we’ve made the difficult decision to pull out of Emerald City Comic Con 2020. As other creators have written, this isn’t a choice we’ve made lightly–we don’t do a lot of conventions, and ECCC is in many ways our home show, with a lot of love and traditions attached; as well as significant investments of time, money, and planning.

It’s worth pointing out that we’re very lucky: for us, those losses, while difficult, won’t be devastating. We’re also really, really angry, as we watch friends forced to choose between public health and their own livelihoods because the institutions responsible have so completely dropped that ball.

To the friends and fans who were planning to attend the show specifically to see us: we are so sorry to be missing you, and we’ll try to come up with something special over that weekend. To our listeners in the Pacific Northwest, we’re already well into planning an event in Portland at the end of April; while it’s obviously a far cry from ECCC, hopefully we’ll be able to see many of you in person there.

All our love,
Jay & Miles

As Mentioned in Episode 286 – Family Before Continuity

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Don’t worry! The world will end before they can die in that plane crash! (Excalibur #86)
Pete Wisdom is a happy man with a happy life. (Excalibur #86)
MAH PUIR WEE HOVERCRAFT (Excalibur #86)
I want a team that’s just him and Chamber, brooding. (Excalibur #86)
A green and pleasant, &c. (Excalibur #86)
Well, so much for that mission. (Excalibur #86)
Me, too, Sam. Me, too. (X-Force #43)
I relate so hard to Shatterstar right now. (X-Force #43)
Time travel has some good looks. (X-Force #43)
Aw, these dudes. (X-Force #43)
“We’re here for you, in all our oddly-proportioned glory!” (X-Force #43)
He hasn’t, actually, but that won’t be revealed for a while yet. (X-Force #43)
“Man, is THIS what happens when your boss ditches you for another book?” (X-Force #43)
I know, right?! (Cable #20)
Pretty sure that every one of the original five has, at some point, referred to Hank as their best and/or closest friend. (Cable #20)
Ouch. (Cable #20)
OUCH. (Cable #20)
I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING (Cable #20)
Aw, these guys. And it didn’t even take a bathtub! (Cable #20)
Sometimes a family is eight people in tight clothing posing dramatically for the end of the world. (Cable #20)
NEXT EPISODE: Welcome to Earth-295! Hope you survive the experience!

LINKS & FURTHER EVENT HORIZONS:

As Mentioned in Episode 285 – Immediately if Not Sooner

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Wait, what if Bobby just misuses slang all the time to mess with Bishop? (Uncanny X-Men #320)
What the hell, Legion? (Uncanny X-Men #320)
So, that happened. (Uncanny X-Men #320)
Have fairly normal toes ever seemed as creepy as they do on this cover? I would argue that they have not. (X-Men #40)
If this were fanfic they would immediately have to fake being married to, I dunno, something. (X-Men #40)
Seriously, did ANY readers who didn’t already know recognize this dude as Legion? (X-Men #40)
That shadow! THAT ANGST! (X-Men #40)
“I had always hoped I might find others like us, but I never imagined the continuity would be this impenetrable!” (X-Men #40)
Meanwhile in a sitcom… (X-Men #40)
Tower of Telepaths never really caught on as a board game. (Uncanny X-Men #321)
Just kiss already. (Uncanny X-Men #321)
Greatest caption, or GREATEST CAPTION? (Uncanny X-Men #321)
Wait, has Bishop DISGUISED HIMSELF AS A PIRATE? If the answer is no, I don’t want to know; let me keep this dream. (Uncanny X-Men #321)
JUST KISS ALREADY (Uncanny X-Men #321)
Oh, no. (Uncanny X-Men #321)
Legion, NO. (Uncanny X-Men #321)
You’ve made it to Bishop’s ill-fitting trousers, Cable: just where you needed to be. (Uncanny X-Men #321)
“I knew that someday our future son would travel back in time to kill my best friend.” (X-Men #41)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (X-Men #41)
Ouch. (X-Men #41)
Jubilee gives good advice. (X-Men #41)
The best kiss in X-Men. (X-Men #41)
Okay, but, that first panel. (X-Men #41)
NEXT EPISODE: The end of the world, more, again.

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

 

 

 

As Mentioned in Episode 284 – Precious Baubles

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LINKS & FURTHER CROSSOVERS

As Mentioned in Episode 283 – Legion Quest Quest

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
So, that’s happening.
This cover has me thinking again about where she gets the skulls for her belt. (X-Factor #108)
No man has ever looked more like an action figure than Nick Fury does in this panel. (X-Factor #108)
The best Looney Toons reference in a superhero comic remains Animal Man #5, but this’ll do for now. (X-Factor #108)
Val X-Plains Legion. (X-Factor #108)
Hey, Forge? Fuck you. (X-Factor #108)
I mean, kinda. (X-Factor #109)
And yet, somehow, I’m not reassured. (X-Factor #109)
Dang, this would be a useful skill. (X-Factor #109)
And now for something completely different! (X-Factor #110)
IS it a mustache? Or does his nose just end in some kind of fibrous feelers or baleen? (X-Factor #110)
LILA 4-EVER (X-Factor #110)
I love that she just has a massive freaking treasure vault full of loose doubloons. WHO DOES THAT? (X-Factor #110)
They’re jerks, but they’re well-dressed jerks. (X-Factor #111)
Live your dreams, happy sloth man from space. (X-Factor #111)
He’ll be fine! (X-Factor #111)
…wait, no, belay that. (X-Factor #111)
But it’s okay, because the universe is ending! (X-Factor #111)
NEXT EPISODE: Chip Zdarsky!

LINKS & FURTHER SPIN-OFFS

  • WHOA DANG JAY IS WRITING A CYCLOPS ONE-SHOT! It is called X-Men Marvels Snapshot #1, or possibly Marvel Snapshots: X-Men #1; but either way, you can read more about it here and find preorder information here.
  • Speaking of things Jay writes, if you didn’t get enough Lila Cheney in this week’s episode, she’s stealing hearts and valuables all over Episode 8 of Thor: Metal Gods!
  • We talked a lot about Legion and the ways his powers intersect with mental illness in Episode 44 – Assembling Legion, feat. Si Spurrier.
  • Here is some context for Jay’s joke about Autism Speaks. (If you’re looking for an organization to support that actually helps and amplifies the voices of Autistic folks, we like the Autistic Self Advocacy Network.)

As Mentioned in Episode 282 – The Tide Takes the Castle

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Hank McCoy is his own worst enemy–and best audience! (X-Men #38)
Bobby Drake somehow experienced the ’90s harder than most of his peers. (X-Men #38)
She’s not wrong. (X-Men #38)
“I, um, think I might have left something in Alaska. Bye.” (X-Men #38)
Every day, Bishop gets a little less enchanted with his heroes. (X-Men #38)
Aw, these two and their friendship. (X-Men #38)
[SOBS IN CALLBACK] (Iceman #3)
Has anyone ever stopped to notice the fact that Bobby Drake is a fucking spectacular sculptor? Seriously, he should be doing THAT professionally. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
William Drake: a jerk then, a jerk now. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
There is no rage like the rage of a man quietly spooning mashed potatoes onto plates. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
HE’S SO AWFUL. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Aw, these kids. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Meanwhile, in Hawk Talk! (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Planes are a Summers family tradition; as, apparently, is crashing them. (X-Men #39)
He’s a good kid. (X-Men #39)
A good kid with a good cap. (X-Men #39)
Weirdly, the heart just sort of hovers around outside the boathouse, and nobody can figure out how to make it go away. (X-Men #39)
See what we mean about the difference the right artist makes to Adam X (X-Men #39)
Man, I just want Philip and Deborah to adopt him and basically be the Kents. (X-Men #39)
Y’know what? Sure. Why not? (X-Men #39)
He came back! (X-Men #39)
HE’S SUCH A GOOD KID. (X-Men #39)
NEXT EPISODE: Still not technically Legion Quest!

LINKS & FURTHER DELIGHTS:

  • When not making our endless nonsense sound good, producer Matt Hunter makes really excellent music, and you should go listen to some!
  • Jay does not actually write things on hackertyper.com, but he wishes he could.
  • We covered Rogue’s solo series in Episode 245 – Natural Causes.
  • This is the plane Philip flew in WWII, if that’s your kind of thing.