Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

432 – Weird Little Adventures

December 3, 2023 Jay 4 comments

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In which we reach the end of Larry Hama’s run on Generation X; Gaia remains remarkably normal for someone who has spent millennia chained up alone in a citadel; Synch practices radical forgiveness; we ponder the nature of Emma Frost and Sean Cassidy’s relationship; and Forge is extra unqualified to lecture on ethics.

X-PLAINED:

How Jubilee stopped being a vampire
The Draco, kinda
Generation X #44-47
Bianca LaNeige (again)
Polaroid cameras
Gaia (more) (again)
Reality warping
Woody and Arlo Guthrie
Iceland
Several continuity errors
Psi War fallout
Paul Weller
New school uniforms
Accreditation
Miss Pickwick
Penance’s nationality
Guthrie manifestation
Teamwork
Forge’s decision-making skills
Paradox
Indoor/outdoor moppets
Four theoretical horsemen of Apocalypse
Awkward family holidays

NEXT EPISODE: Jay & Miles autopsy X-Factor and Excalibur!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 431 – Doctor Jennifer Murder’s Drop-In Deathatorium

November 19, 2023 Miles Leave a comment

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Alright, who stuck their surprisingly awesome fan-zine on this comics rack? (Generation X Underground Special #1)

Do the extra-long fingers help or hurt? (Generation X Underground Special #1)

Triumphant walk! (Generation X Underground Special #1)

Cibo Matto! (Generation X Underground Special #1)

“I’m just not sure about this neighborhood. Let’s head over to Crime Alley instead.” (Generation X Underground Special #1)

No notes. (Generation X Underground Special #1)

(Former since the Donut Day Riots) Detective Lucas Bishop. (Generation X Underground Special #1)

Eat your heart out, Jack Kirby. (Generation X Underground Special #1)

You and me both, random gangster. (Generation X Underground Special #1)

And, in fact, that very funk will save the day. (Generation X Underground Special #1)

Chamber’s secondary mutation is to be more heavily inked when he’s depressed. (Generation X Underground Special #1)

If you’re ever this heavily inked, please talk to someone. (Generation X Underground Special #1)

Al made a shirt and so can you! (Generation X Underground Special #1)

Man vs. Man, Man vs. Nature, Beatniks vs. Hostess Fruit Pies… (Generation X Underground Special #1)

Nate is such a good dude sometimes. (X-Man: All Saints Day #1)

What an oddly relevantly helpful old woman! (X-Man: All Saints Day #1)

Downtown Transylvania circa 1998, I assume. (X-Man: All Saints Day #1)

Hey, your face isn’t even all that bony! (X-Man: All Saints Day #1)

See, kids? This is why you shouldn’t smoke. (X-Man: All Saints Day #1)

She had to wait days for a lightning storm epic enough for her to make her entrance properly. (X-Man: All Saints Day #1)

How has no one brought this delightful villain back since this issue?! (X-Man: All Saints Day #1)

Didn’t see that one coming… (X-Man: All Saints Day #1)

NO NOTES. (X-Man: All Saints Day #1)

Doctor Von Mort’s home office is way cooler than mine. (X-Man: All Saints Day #1)

Abysnthia Von Mort x-plains Absynthia Von Mort. (X-Man: All Saints Day #1)

“Help! We’ve been filed!” (X-Man: All Saints Day #1)

I’m not crying you’re crying (X-Man: All Saints Day #1)

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X suits up!

431 – Doctor Jennifer Murder’s Drop-In Deathatorium

November 19, 2023 Miles 4 comments

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In which Synch is a more versatile character than he originally got credit for; “eep” and “eek” are likewise underused; space makes everything better; Nate Grey is the proto-himbo; and if you can decipher the secret code in this episode, you, too, can win a Silver Surfer jet ski!

X-PLAINED:

Diablo
Generation X Underground Special
X-Men Unlimited #30
X-Man: All Saints Day
Jim Mahfood
Skin’s video-game preferences
Strange superpowers
Poster pirates
Visual representations of the passage of time
“Banshee’s Angels”
Charlie’s Angels
The infamous donut-day riots
Perfect costumes
Adequate restraints for small children
The raw power of funk
Generation X vs. the Beat Generation
The greatest disco event in the universe
Nate Grey
Some kid named Jerome
Countess Absynthia Von Mort
Transylvania
Dr. Cindy’s Castle
The state of Phoenix affairs
The color bar at the top of the page in ‘90s comics

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X suits up!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 430 – The Bad Feelings Box

November 19, 2023 Jay Leave a comment

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It’s always awkward when you run into someone you know out of context. (Uncanny X-Men #359)

I don’t know why Rogue palming Mystique’s face like a basketball is so funny, but it really is. (Uncanny X-Men #359)

Aw, these two. (Uncanny X-Men #359)

Spoiler: They do not actually fight each other. (Uncanny X-Men / Fantastic Four Annual 1998)

Every supervillain, ever. (Uncanny X-Men / Fantastic Four Annual 1998)

It’s Bring-a-Twink night at the poker game! (Uncanny X-Men / Fantastic Four Annual 1998)

Psycho Man may have his issues, but you’ve gotta hand it to his UI design. (Uncanny X-Men / Fantastic Four Annual 1998)

I love that Kirby armor. (Uncanny X-Men / Fantastic Four Annual 1998)

INVISIBLE BEAR TRAP (Uncanny X-Men / Fantastic Four Annual 1998)

By this point, half the superheroes in the Marvel Universe are anxiously awaiting their turn to toss Wolverine. (Uncanny X-Men / Fantastic Four Annual 1998)

OH NO (Uncanny X-Men / Fantastic Four Annual 1998)

Callisto looks so cool in this issue. (X-Men #79)

She knows how to flirt like a pro. (X-Men #79)

They’re spooning. (X-Men #79)

NEXT EPISODE: Miles and Al Kennedy X-Plain the Generation X Underground Special!

430 – The Bad Feelings Box

November 12, 2023 Jay 8 comments

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In which birds have no business in sex dreams; feelings are complicated and allegories are imperfect; Mystique made some valid points; Psycho-Man is good at UI; Callisto was right; and the label “Omega-level mutant” actually kind of makes sense.

X-PLAINED:

Psycho-Man
Malice (but not that one)
Hate Monger (but not that one)
Finding good comics from the ‘90s
Uncanny X-Men #359
X-Men / Fantastic Four Annual 1998
X-Men #79
The dead man’s hand
Dr. Aubrey Agee
Psi-War fallout
Dr. Bradley Beynon
Hadley the robot
Poker twinks
La Bludgeon
Psycho-Man’s Bad Feelings Box
An invisible bear trap
Marvel’s floating poker game
Officers Aguinal and Cleveland
Antagonists vs. villains
Omega-level mutants

NEXT EPISODE: The Generation X Underground Special, feat. Al Kennedy!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 429 – Slightly Sticky

November 5, 2023 Miles 2 comments

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A goofy and fun cover for a goofy and fun comic. (X-Men Unlimited #20)

Poor Maxie… (X-Men Unlimited #20)

Poor Maxie!!! (X-Men Unlimited #20)

? indeed, Nettles. ? indeed. (X-Men Unlimited #20)

STOP HATIN’ (X-Men Unlimited #20)

I don’t think this Ferris wheel passed inspection. Or was ever inspected in the first place. (X-Men Unlimited #20)

Generation X’s greatest nemesis: a runaway Ferris wheel. (X-Men Unlimited #20)

Paige Guthrie would make a terrible babysitter. (X-Men Unlimited #20)

What was Penance doing in that closet? We’ll never know! (X-Men Unlimited #20)

And then a cop gaslit a child. (X-Men Unlimited #20)

A goofy and fun cover for a goofy and fun comic… again! (X-Men Unlimited #21)

Video rental store clerks: truly the absolute worst of humanity, apparently. (X-Men Unlimited #21)

HE’S HUGE! (X-Men Unlimited #21)

Friendship! (X-Men Unlimited #21)

John Henry Irons he ain’t. (X-Men Unlimited #21)

Gently punched by nostalgia. (X-Men Unlimited #21)

Halt, you men! (X-Men Unlimited #21)

Wolfsbane’s like the kid who clearly put together their science fair project the night before the science fair. (X-Men Unlimited #21)

Party one… (X-Men Unlimited #21)

…party two. (X-Men Unlimited #21)

And then Jay exploded. (X-Men Unlimited #21)

The hero we need! (X-Men Unlimited #21)

It’s a Dracularmy! (X-Men Unlimited #21)

Guido’s going to be telling this story for the rest of his life. (X-Men Unlimited #21)

The X-Factor denouement we never got. (X-Men Unlimited #21)

NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men team up with the Fantastic Four!

429 – Slightly Sticky

November 5, 2023 Miles 15 comments

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In which you should stop hatin’, there’s a big difference between fill-ins and filler, Snow Valley needs higher Ferris wheel standards, Todd DeZago must really hate video rental clerks, and we’re all monsters – some of us just smell better than others.

X-PLAINED:

Strong Guy’s hellacious history
The nature and purpose of X-Men Unlimited
X-Men Unlimited #20-21
Rock Trolls (Chambliss, Nettles, and Munson)
What Asgard was up to in 1998
Magik vs magic
The Snow Valley Harvest Festival
Jubilation Lee, one of the guys
Eagles vs Hats
Fatman, Beardlady-o, Stickman-o, & Frogman-o
Tic Tac Toe fundamentals
Angry mobs
Paige Guthrie, Angry Mom
The many potential applications of Husk’s powers
Falls Edge, VA vs Eagle Ridge, WV
Payphones & video rental stores
X-friends
Rutland, VT (again)
Melvin J. Weals
Helen Back
The Donnybrook Country Club
Cat Fancier & Motorcycle Conventions
The Shi’ar Wardrobe Transmogrifier
Steel (the Shaq one)
The worst pun we’ve ever seen in a comic
Earth: the Hipster Planet
Which X-Men throw the best and/or wildest Halloween parties
Fan-casting X-voices

NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men team up with the Fantastic Four!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 428 – Naked in a Cake

October 22, 2023 Miles Leave a comment

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So who is that in the cake? (Excalibur #124)

A bridal shower! (Excalibur #124)

A bachelor party! (Excalibur #124)

Seriously, why is this a thing (Excalibur #124)

Yep, we’ve missed the Crazy Gang. (Excalibur #124)

Awk-ward (Excalibur #124)

To answer Suzy Eddie Izzard’s question: cake and death! (Excalibur #124)

And then Feron’s life got even worse. (Excalibur #124)

And a good time was had by all… especially Captain UK and Mimic, I assume. (Excalibur #124)

Love and chaos. (Excalibur #125)

Cameos! (Excalibur #125)

More cameos! (Excalibur #125)

I have questions about this pipe organ. (Excalibur #125)

Healthy… communication? Is that a thing in the Marvel Universe? Is that allowed? (Excalibur #125)

WHO INVITED THE NAZIS (Excalibur #125)

And have they ever earned it. (Excalibur #125)

Gatecrasher has the weeds! (Excalibur #125)

Lockheed, I know you want Piotr and Kitty to get together, but I assure you this will not work out. (Excalibur #125)

Nobody does wedding receptions like the Starlight Citadel of Otherworld. (Excalibur #125)

Man, that really is a shockingly tiny invitation. (Excalibur #125)

See, Feron? Just because everyone forgets about you doesn’t mean you have to jump out of a cake to try to murder people! (Excalibur #125)

Saturnyne, this is literally the worst possible time. (Excalibur #125)

Kurt, this is… also not a great time. (Excalibur #125)

Dammit, now I’m tearing up. (Excalibur #125)

And that, as they say, is that. (Excalibur #125)

NEXT TIME: X-Factor is back! Kind of!

428 – Naked in a Cake

October 22, 2023 Miles 9 comments

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In which you shouldn’t invite nazis to your wedding, there’s a lot of multiverse, Captain Britain and Meggan are pretty heteronormative but make it work, everybody forgot Feron, and the next husband will be Gatecrasher’s.

X-PLAINED:

Captain Britain varieties
The history of Brian Braddock and Meggan Puceanu, abridged
Excalibur #124-125
Mutants most likely to jump out of a cake
The Crazy Gang (again)
Meggan’s crush on Colossus
Colossus’s guilt about Meggan’s crush on Colossus
A surprise bridal shower
The return of Captain UK
Brian Braddock’s teetotaling techniques
Mimic’s ever-changing facial hair
Glorious, glorious chaos
Poor, poor Feron
Multiple awkward conversations
The return of Widget and also everyone else
Lightning Force (dammit)
A lengthy but not exhaustive list of Captains Britain
So many cameos
…Seriously, so many cameos
Dai Thomas’s anti-iron
Shockingly healthy communication
Bouquet brawls and garter gar-nage
A bittersweet ending
Nightcrawler’s best outfit
The universe where the X-Men X-Plain Jay & Miles
Our hypothetical post-finale Excalibur lineup

NEXT EPISODE: The return of X-Factor! Kind of!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 427 – Standard Deviation

October 22, 2023 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Why doesn’t Adam Pollina draw all the mythology? (X-Force #81)

Just another day for X-Force. (X-Force #81)

You could take away the word balloons and we’d still know so much about these characters just from their outfits and body language! (X-Force #81)

This panel doesn’t have much to do with continuity, but it sure is pretty. (X-Force #81)

Again: JUST ANOTHER DAY FOR X-FORCE (X-Force #81)

Siryn flirts. (X-Force #81)

“Your first clue should have been the rad halo-thing Adam Pollina drew behind me.” (X-Force #81)

We’ll miss you, Adam Pollina. Thanks for the memories. (X-Force #81)

Hi, Jesse Aaronson AKA Bedlam! Hi, Cait Sith! (X-Force #82)

I enjoy how “rebuilt from the brink of death” also translates to “wearing a super-cool set of insectoid armor.” (X-Force #82)

Pollina may be gone, but the action scenes are still pretty awesome. (X-Force #82)

Jesse, that is not how you give a massage. (X-Force #82)

“Sorry we’re late, it took us a while to adequately rip up our clothes.” (X-Force #82)

Yeah, okay – we love this guy. (X-Force #82)

Sam Guthrie X-Plains (his time on) the X-Men. (X-Force #83)

I think your guts may actually be tied up in abs, Sam. (X-Force #83)

Just enough of that yellow and purple left to still make them look like a team – and just enough folks without that uniform to make it clear how long it’s been since those days. (X-Force #83)