Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

322 – Do More Crimes

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the X-Babies fail to charm; clones are people, too; Iceman doesn’t (quite) come out; Gambit and Bishop bond; Joseph comes into ambiguous being; and Principal Nezu and Charles Xavier would probably get along okay.

X-PLAINED:

  • Inconsistent quality
  • X-Men #46-47
  • Uncanny X-Men #327
  • The X-Babies (more) (again)
  • Sfogliatelle
  • Gog
  • Gog’n’Magog
  • Politics of the Mojoverse
  • Personhood of constructed entities
  • What makes an X-Babies story work
  • Jay’s favorite episodes of The Muppet Show
  • Age-appropriate literature
  • Fictional books
  • Fun with Bishop
  • Several restaurants
  • Hypothetical casting
  • What Magneto’s been up to
  • Joseph
  • Sister Maria
  • Why Magneto gets de-aged a lot
  • Amnesia
  • Various orphans and individuals affiliated therewith
  • How to keep up with upcoming X-titles
  • A cross-media friendship
  • True Believer: The Rise and Fall of Stan Lee

NEXT EPISODE: HAWK TALK

THE ONE AFTER THAT: MORE X-BABIES SO MANY X-BABIES

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 321 – Revolving Doors

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Damn, those bunny slippers are intense.(X-Force #48)
Damn, those bunny slippers are intense.(X-Force #48)
Please note that Siryn has her own personal breeze. (X-Force #48)
Please note that Siryn has her own personal breeze. (X-Force #48)
"Y... you're not?" (X-Force #48)
“Y… you’re not?” (X-Force #48)
Large. (Uncanny X-Men #328)
Large. (Uncanny X-Men #328)
LARGE. (Uncanny X-Men #328)
LARGE. (Uncanny X-Men #328)
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU FIRST-AID A MAJOR ABDOMINAL WOUND (Uncanny X-Men #328)
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU FIRST-AID A MAJOR ABDOMINAL WOUND (Uncanny X-Men #328)
We may never know why Professor X chose to install Cerebro in a Multi-Axis Trainer, but he certainly appears to have done so. (Sabretooth Special #1)
We may never know why Professor X chose to install Cerebro in a Multi-Axis Trainer, but he certainly appears to have done so. (Sabretooth Special #1)
Dang, that's a lot of drop shadows. (Sabretooth Special #1)
Dang, that’s a lot of drop shadows. (Sabretooth Special #1)
Deja vu all over again. We may never know why Professor X chose to install Cerebro in a Multi-Axis Trainer, but he certainly appears to have done so. (Sabretooth Special #1)
Deja vu all over again. We may never know why Professor X chose to install Cerebro in a Multi-Axis Trainer, but he certainly appears to have done so. (Sabretooth Special #1)
NEXT EPISODE: INTO THE CLONE ZONE!
NEXT EPISODE: INTO THE CLONE ZONE!

321 – Revolving Doors

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Sabretooth does not get effectively rehabilitated; nobody has the moral high ground; Val Cooper is the worst possible person to call in any emergency; Bishop needs a better support system; Jay knows several things about onions; and not everything has to be a mammal.

X-PLAINED:

  • Sabretooth (more) (again)
  • X-Force #48
  • Uncanny X-Men #328
  • Sabretooth Special #1
  • Bunny slippers
  • An intervention
  • Stages of grief
  • What not to do with Sabretooth
  • An evil squirrel
  • Onions
  • The three genders
  • Mutant Massacre callbacks
  • Caption disambiguation problems
  • The overabundance of boobs on fictional non-mammalian species

NEXT EPISODE: INTO THE CLONE ZONE!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 320 – The Accountability Wagon

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I know the cover blurb isn't actually foreshadowing, but the cover blurb is kiiiinda foreshadowing. (Excalibur #91)
I know the cover blurb isn’t actually foreshadowing, but the cover blurb is kiiiinda foreshadowing. (Excalibur #91)
There's writing a phonetic accent... and then there's writing someone making fun of someone else's accent, phonetically. (Excalibur #91)
There’s writing a phonetic accent… and then there’s writing someone making fun of someone else’s accent, phonetically. (Excalibur #91)
Aw. (Excalibur #91)
Aw. (Excalibur #91)
For your Twitter fight needs. (Excalibur #91)
For your Twitter fight needs. (Excalibur #91)
This is roughly how I react to having to share personal information with colleagues, too. (Excalibur #91)
This is roughly how I react to having to share personal information with colleagues, too. (Excalibur #91)
They're good friends. (Excalibur #91)
They’re good friends. (Excalibur #91)
THE SUBTITLES THO (Excalibur #91)
THE SUBTITLES THO (Excalibur #91)
Creeeeeepy. (Excalibur #91)
Creeeeeepy. (Excalibur #91)
I know his teeth are also supposed to be steel, but they look just off enough from the rest of his face that I can't shake the idea that they're normal teeth, which idea is profoundly and inexplicably unsettling. (Excalibur #92)
I know his teeth are also supposed to be steel, but they look just off enough from the rest of his face that I can’t shake the idea that they’re normal teeth, which idea is profoundly and inexplicably unsettling. (Excalibur #92)
Huh. (Excalibur #92)
Huh. (Excalibur #92)
You sure did. (Excalibur #93)
You sure did. (Excalibur #93)
[Music rises] (Excalibur #93)
[Music rises] (Excalibur #93)
Ah, Rahne. You're such a good kid. (Excalibur #93)
Ah, Rahne. You’re such a good kid. (Excalibur #93)
FUCK YEAH RAHNE SINCLAIR! (Excalibur #93)
FUCK YEAH RAHNE SINCLAIR! (Excalibur #93)
NEXT EPISODE: Same Sabretooth, different day.
NEXT EPISODE: Same Sabretooth, different day.

320 – The Accountability Wagon

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Pete Wisdom is the guy you love to glare at; Nightcrawler is right (and a delightfully complex individual); Colossus has a lot of issues; and Wolfsbane gets the confrontation we’ve been waiting for since the New Mutants graphic novel.

X-PLAINED:

  • Wolfsbane’s powers
  • Excalibur #91-93
  • The somewhat nebulous age of Kitty Pryde
  • Betrayal
  • What’s been up on Muir Isle
  • Organized sports, Excalibur-style
  • Pubs and what happens in them
  • Drinking with Excalibur
  • Shovel talks
  • Phonetic accents, redeemed
  • A fairly one-sided fight
  • Colossus’s issues (more) (again)
  • Anatomy and physiology of organic steel
  • Accountability, trauma, and their intersections
  • An exceptionally cathartic confrontation
  • A hoodie Jay desperately wants
  • Where cold opens come from
  • Whether and how Gambit passes for human

NEXT EPISODE: Same Sabretooth, different day

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 319 – Giant-Size Special #9

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
There's... a lot of design happening here. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #1)
There’s… a lot of design happening here. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #1)
Even if the podcast couldn't all be ink appreciation, the visual companion can! (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #1)
Even if the podcast couldn’t all be ink appreciation, the visual companion can! (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #1)
Sir, this is a Wendy's. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #1)
Sir, this is a Wendy’s. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #1)
LOOK AT THAT BEARD. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #1)
LOOK AT THAT BEARD. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #1)
THE DRAMA! (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #1)
THE DRAMA! (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #1)
Tremble's collection of human curiosities. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #1)
Tremble’s collection of human curiosities. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #1)
This might be my favorite look for Apocalypse. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #1)
This might be my favorite look for Apocalypse. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #1)
This one's pretty sharp, too, though. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #1)
This one’s pretty sharp, too, though. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #1)
What I'm getting here is that the Askani Sisterhood has been recruiting Asbury Park mermaids. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #2)
What I’m getting here is that the Askani Sisterhood has been recruiting Asbury Park mermaids. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #2)
More artists should use color silhouettes--they can be such a cool effect! (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #2)
More artists should use color silhouettes–they can be such a cool effect! (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #2)
Feelings... AND TEXTURES! (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #2)
Feelings… AND TEXTURES! (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #2)
Marauder, schmaurader; I know a reaver when I see one. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #3)
Marauder, schmaurader; I know a reaver when I see one. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #3)
The secret origin of ruby quartz! (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #3)
The secret origin of ruby quartz! (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #3)
"Sinister, you say? Ooh, that's good. I should write that down." (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #3)
“Sinister, you say? Ooh, that’s good. I should write that down.” (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #3)
This is a bad plan and I do not want to be part of it. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #3)
This is a bad plan and I do not want to be part of it. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #3)
LOOK AT THIS GLAM MOTHERFUCKER (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #4)
LOOK AT THIS GLAM MOTHERFUCKER (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #4)
Aw, he's still got a heart, maybe, kind of. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #4)
Aw, he’s still got a heart, maybe, kind of. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #4)
Yeah, that's not gonna happen. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #4)
Yeah, that’s not gonna happen. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #4)
TIME LOOP! TIME LOOP! (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #4)
TIME LOOP! TIME LOOP! (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #4)

LINKS & FURTHER ADVENTURES

The written list of the SDAPCAfEaX winners will go up on Monday! If you are a creator who won and would like a physical award, drop us a line, and we will make it happen.

319 – Giant-Size Special #9 (feat. Vita Ayala, Tini Howard, & Leah Williams)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay and Miles receive a mysterious missive and are visited by three of our favorite X-writers; Further Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix is a pleasant surprise; Nathaniel Essex is the most dramatic man in the Marvel Universe; the sewers of Victorian London were a happenin’ place; Apocalypse isn’t even French; Beast is the flip-side of Sinister; community is for everyone; the Internet is (kind of) Krakoa; and death is fixable, but trauma might take a little more work.

X-PLAINED:

  • A quotation
  • Further Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1-4
  • A closed loop
  • Time travel with Scott Summers and Jean Grey
  • Mister Sinister (Nathaniel Essex)
  • A somewhat excessive visual aid
  • Beards
  • Cootie Tremble
  • The cultural context of sideshows
  • The first Marauders and/or Nasty Boys
  • Victorian Apocalypse
  • Strained allegories
  • Sanctity
  • Apocalypse vs. the Hellfire Club
  • Oscar the Somewhat Less Nasty Boy
  • Varyingly anachronistic costuming
  • The secret origin of ruby quartz
  • A very vague objective
  • A makeover
  • A closed time loop
  • Actual Cat Wizard Jonathan Hickman
  • Something Jay is not in fact going to pitch to Marvel
  • Creative dynamics and processes in the current X-line
  • Revolutionary joy
  • What’s cooler than one sword
  • The Sixth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence

NEXT WEEK: Jay & Miles take a break

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur gets several Peters and a wolf!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

HAWK TALK – Surviving 2020

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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked (exhaustedly) about This Freaking Year.

Topics, roughly:

  • This year was pretty rough
  • Maybe next year will be better?
  • Some things are cool, though

NOTE: Miles watched Knives Out immediately after recording this episode, and Jay was right: it is delightful.

As Mentioned in Episode 318 – Leprechaun Hill

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
We're grateful for the covers, Chris Bachalo, but they mostly just make us even sadder that you don't pencil these issues. (Generation X #7)
We’re grateful for the covers, Chris Bachalo, but they mostly just make us even sadder that you don’t pencil these issues. (Generation X #7)
Sean's impressively long ponytail, meet Emma's impressively tiny undergarments. (Generation X #7)
Sean’s impressively long ponytail, meet Emma’s impressively tiny undergarments. (Generation X #7)
Husk is mainly made at Jubilee for forgetting it was Giant Shirt Day. (Generation X #7)
Husk is mainly made at Jubilee for forgetting it was Giant Shirt Day. (Generation X #7)
To be fair, those moppets would make freakin' Ultron's heart grow three sizes. (Generation X #7)
To be fair, those moppets would make freakin’ Ultron’s heart grow three sizes. (Generation X #7)
We forgot, but Banshee does sometimes where tiny shorts - including in this very issue! Probably for the best he ditched the ponytail; no one would have been able to tell him and Forge apart. (Generation X #7)
We forgot, but Banshee does sometimes where tiny shorts – including in this very issue! Probably for the best he ditched the ponytail; no one would have been able to tell him and Forge apart. (Generation X #7)
From the finest casual fashion of the 90s... (Generation X #8)
From the finest casual fashion of the 90s… (Generation X #8)
To the finest casual fashion of the indeterminate Middle Ages! (Generation X #8)
To the finest casual fashion of the indeterminate Middle Ages! (Generation X #8)
"Don't worry, elves and/or leprechauns! We'll protect you! With murder!" (Generation X #8)
“Don’t worry, elves and/or leprechauns! We’ll protect you! With murder!” (Generation X #8)
"You're looking good, Eamon! But didn't you used to be like four feet taller?" (Generation X #8)
“You’re looking good, Eamon! But didn’t you used to be like four feet taller?” (Generation X #8)
Grand Dame (a pixie rather than an elf despite her identical skin tone) and the Glamour Machine. (Generation X #8)
Grand Dame (a pixie rather than an elf despite her identical skin tone) and the Glamour Machine. (Generation X #8)
Wait, the caption at the bottom references leprechauns... SO WHERE ARE THE LEPRECHAUNS?! (Generation X #8)
Wait, the caption at the bottom references leprechauns… SO WHERE ARE THE LEPRECHAUNS?! (Generation X #8)
Tom Grummett draws a pretty great Skin. (Generation X #9)
Tom Grummett draws a pretty great Skin. (Generation X #9)
"Acch, humans! I used to be one of you until Scott Lobdell got confused! Or maybe I didn't! It's ambiguous!" (Generation X #9)
“Acch, humans! I used to be one of you until Scott Lobdell got confused! Or maybe I didn’t! It’s ambiguous!” (Generation X #9)
"Greetings - we're Clan O'Donnel, and we're not entirely sure what type of fantasy creature we or our newly-retconned relative are supposed to be!" (Generation X #9)
“Greetings – we’re Clan O’Donnel, and we’re not entirely sure what type of fantasy creature we or our newly-retconned relative are supposed to be!” (Generation X #9)
This way, the elves and/or leprechauns can get back to hanging out in Cassidy Keep in the real world and telling readers the secret real names of various superheroes. (Generation X #9)
This way, the elves and/or leprechauns can get back to hanging out in Cassidy Keep in the real world and telling readers the secret real names of various superheroes. (Generation X #9)
If Penance could speak, she'd be saying "Tee hee!" (Generation X #9)
If Penance could speak, she’d be saying “Tee hee!” (Generation X #9)
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk! NEXT EPISODE: Our Seventh Annual Giant-Size Winter Special!
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk! NEXT EPISODE: Our Seventh Annual Giant-Size Winter Special!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

318 – Leprechaun Hill

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we are broken by leprechauns.

X-PLAINED:

  • A very necessary title change
  • The leprechauns of Cassidy Keep
  • Generation X #7-9
  • How to kiss Chamber
  • Banshee’s epic past ponytail
  • Thoughts
  • Amiable grumbling
  • The evolution of Emma Frost’s ethics
  • Giant shirts of the 1990s
  • An unlikely disappearance
  • Rapid power creep
  • Another dimension
  • Whether or not Eamon O’Donnell is a leprechaun
  • Existential leprechaun uncertainty
  • Grande Dame
  • How glamour works, sort of
  • A dragon
  • Uncanny X-Men: First Class #8
  • Uncle Havok
  • Whether Kid Apocalypse is an External

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk.

NEXT EPISODE: GIANT-SIZE WINTER SPECIAL!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!