Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

HAWK TALK – What We Blew Up On Our Summer Vacation

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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Miles and guest hawk Anna Sheffey talked about playing too much Resident Evil during lockdown.

As Mentioned in Episode 340 – Retconaganda

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(Press the “i” icon in the bottom-right to see captions in the gallery. It’s a known WordPress bug we’re still looking for a way around!)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Welcome to the X.S.E., where moral ambiguity goes to die. (X.S.E. #1)
Welcome to the X.S.E., where moral ambiguity goes to die. (X.S.E. #1)
The villains in this series are exceptionally one-note even by comics standards. (X.S.E. #1)
The villains in this series are exceptionally one-note even by comics standards. (X.S.E. #1)
I still can't figure out what's happening with the purple garment that Bishop and possibly also his grandmother are wearing. (X.S.E. #1)
I still can’t figure out what’s happening with the purple garment that Bishop and possibly also his grandmother are wearing. (X.S.E. #1)
Bishop has basically always been the same dude. (X.S.E. #1)
Bishop has basically always been the same dude. (X.S.E. #1)
Hey, it's Malcolm... (X.S.E. #2)
Hey, it’s Malcolm… (X.S.E. #2)
...and Randall! (X.S.E. #2)
…and Randall! (X.S.E. #2)
I know the balloon at the top technically goes with the panel above, but it really looks like Fitzroy is just reciting his own name like a Pokémon. (X.S.E. #3)
I know the balloon at the top technically goes with the panel above, but it really looks like Fitzroy is just reciting his own name like a Pokémon. (X.S.E. #3)
De Witness. (X.S.E. #4)
De Witness. (X.S.E. #4)
Shackle's costume is somewhat improbable. (X.S.E. #4)
Shackle’s costume is somewhat improbable. (X.S.E. #4)
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340 – Retconaganda

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the X.S.E. miniseries is future copaganda; Earth-1191 has no room for moral ambiguity; Bishop pulls a Marty McFly; Malcolm and Randall get distinct personalities; and you really shouldn’t give officers a symbol of authority that there’s no way to revoke.

X-PLAINED:

  • Some of Bishop’s further adventures
  • X.S.E. #1-4
  • The future, sort of
  • Earth-1191 (more) (again)
  • The X.S.E. (more) (again)
  • Lucas Bishop (more) (again)
  • Shard Bishop (more) (again)
  • Grandmother (who may or may not be Storm)
  • Hancock (who may or may not be Cyclops)
  • The deeply baffling Bishop family tree
  • The fallability of childhood memory
  • Exhumes
  • Dubious reclamation
  • Heca’te
  • The Witness (more) (again)
  • Trevor Fitzroy (more) (again)
  • Several potential continuity errors
  • Malcolm and Randall (more) (again)
  • Emplates
  • Shirley
  • Mexican-American mutants
  • A cross-media quote

NEXT EPISODE: The return of Carl the X-Cutioner

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 339 – Luck Be a Lady

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(Press the “i” icon in the bottom-right to see captions in the gallery. It’s a known WordPress bug we’re still looking for a way around!)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Wolverine, now with 100% less nose. (Uncanny X-Men #332)
Wolverine, now with 100% less nose. (Uncanny X-Men #332)
Because no X-Man has ever made a worse decision, ever, right? (Uncanny X-Men #332)
Because no X-Man has ever made a worse decision, ever, right? (Uncanny X-Men #332)
Honestly, I'd be worried, too. (Uncanny X-Men #332)
Honestly, I’d be worried, too. (Uncanny X-Men #332)
Aw, Nate. (Uncanny X-Men #332)
Aw, Nate. (Uncanny X-Men #332)
Way to make it weird, Logan. (Wolverine #101)
Way to make it weird, Logan. (Wolverine #101)
Never not adorable. (Wolverine #101)
Never not adorable. (Wolverine #101)
Elektra cameo! (Wolverine #101)
Elektra cameo! (Wolverine #101)
Meanwhile in a Bob Ross painting... (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
Meanwhile in a Bob Ross painting… (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
Preacher needs to get better at stretching his canvases. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
Preacher needs to get better at stretching his canvases. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
The Bishop carry. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
The Bishop carry. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
Oh, THAT guy, again. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
Oh, THAT guy, again. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
Seriously, this seems logistically unlikely. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
Seriously, this seems logistically unlikely. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
Depixelization is no fun, apparently. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
Depixelization is no fun, apparently. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
And she's back! (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
And she’s back! (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
NEXT EPISODE: X.S.E.!
NEXT EPISODE: X.S.E.!

LINKS & FURTHER TOMFOOLERY

339 – Luck Be a Lady

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which evil robots are fundamentally more optimistic than climate change; Ozymandias could probably use a new hobby; Wolverine goes full Kate Beaton; “Luck Be a Lady” would be a kickass hymn; Shard gets a body (kinda); and the X-Men definitely do that.

X-PLAINED:

  • Some of Stryfe’s team-ups
  • Fatal Attractions (briefly)
  • X-Cutioner’s Song (briefly)
  • Genesis / Tolliver / Tyler Dayspring
  • Several other individuals named Genesis
  • Lost noses, historical and fictional
  • Uncanny X-Men #332
  • Wolverine #100-101
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996
  • Zoe Culloden (The Expediter)
  • Ozymandias
  • Wolverine, golden retriever
  • An Elektra cameo
  • Wild Thing
  • Bishop and Shard (again)
  • The return of Preacher
  • The Hound (again)
  • A reunion
  • Deplxelation
  • Krakoan team niches
  • What heroes do

NEXT: X.S.E.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 338 – Chomp & Stomp

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
And THAT'S how you get around a collar with a five-second shapeshift limit. (X-Factor #122)
And THAT’S how you get around a collar with a five-second shapeshift limit. (X-Factor #122)
The Hound, in all his dubious glory. (X-Factor #123)
The Hound, in all his dubious glory. (X-Factor #123)
Shard's expression in the last panel is so delightful. (X-Factor #123)
Shard’s expression in the last panel is so delightful. (X-Factor #123)
Don't mess with Polaris. (X-Factor #123)
Don’t mess with Polaris. (X-Factor #123)
"You can try back later, but it'll just be cows." (X-Factor #123)
“You can try back later, but it’ll just be cows.” (X-Factor #123)
The Uh-Oh Room. (X-Factor #124)
The Uh-Oh Room. (X-Factor #124)
"This isn't... awkward or anything, right?" (X-Factor #124)
“This isn’t… awkward or anything, right?” (X-Factor #124)
NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine makes it weird.
NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine makes it weird.

338 – Chomp & Stomp

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which X-Factor’s lineup shifts further towards villainy; Wild Child is neither wild nor a child; bureaucrat Val Cooper > action Val Cooper; Marvel invests in Bastion; and foreshadowing works better in some titles than in others.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Wolverine got his adamantium back
  • A marriage of convenience
  • X-Factor #122-124
  • Amalgam comics
  • A clever workaround
  • Several new looks
  • Belle Fourche (again)
  • Several ways to fail to control supervillains
  • The Hound
  • The Hazard Chamber
  • Different titles’ relationships to dark futures
  • Statting up Beast in D&D
  • Characters with more narrative impact dead than alive

NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine makes it weird.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

HAWK TALK – Pirates

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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and guest hawk Tea Fougner talked about pirates.

You can find Tea at @teaberryblue on pretty much all of the social medias!

As Mentioned in Episode 337 – Wild Genes and Old Magic

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
The Hellfire Club WISHES Brian bothered to show up in a tux. (Excalibur #96)
The Hellfire Club WISHES Brian bothered to show up in a tux. (Excalibur #96)
Meet the new Kurt: Now 50% more Age of Apocalypse! (Excalibur #96)
Meet the new Kurt: Now 50% more Age of Apocalypse! (Excalibur #96)
Meet the new Meggan: Now 50% more... boobs, I guess? (Excalibur #96)
Meet the new Meggan: Now 50% more… boobs, I guess? (Excalibur #96)
Scratch. (Excalibur #96)
Scratch. (Excalibur #96)
Brian Braddock, WASP bishop of the Hellfire Club. (Excalibur #97)
Brian Braddock, WASP bishop of the Hellfire Club. (Excalibur #97)
hehe (Excalibur #97)
hehe (Excalibur #97)
Well, fuck. (Excalibur #97)
Well, fuck. (Excalibur #97)
Now this cover can live in your memory, too! (Excalibur #98)
Now this cover can live in your memory, too! (Excalibur #98)
Sartorial choices were made. (Excalibur #98)
Sartorial choices were made. (Excalibur #98)
Alas, poor Douglock. (Don't worry. He'll be back.) (Excalibur #98)
Alas, poor Douglock. (Don’t worry. He’ll be back.) (Excalibur #98)
Oh. That guy. (Excalibur #99)
Oh. That guy. (Excalibur #99)
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk! NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor's recruitment standards somehow drop even lower.
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk! NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor’s recruitment standards somehow drop even lower.

337 – Wild Genes and Old Magic

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Excalibur is beset by shady organizations; Nightcrawler gets a new look; nobody hates Pete Wisdom as much as Lockheed hates Pete Wisdom; Brian Braddock should not be allowed to dress himself; Excalibur invades Black Air; and Onslaught continues to lurk.

X-PLAINED:

  • Some countries Magneto has invaded
  • Excalibur #96-99
  • Black Air (more) (again)
  • The London branch of the Hellfire Club
  • Nightcrawler’s new look
  • Meggan’s new look
  • The return of Alistaire Stuart
  • How not to dress for the Hellfire Club
  • The Shadow Cabinet (a little)
  • Hacking
  • Agent Scratch
  • Avengers vs. Avengers
  • Addiction recovery
  • Accreditation of the Xavier School
  • Developing a library X-collection

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk!

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor’s increasingly low recruitment standards!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!