Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Alistaire Stuart

As Mentioned in Episode 170 – Minor Punitive Heart Attacks

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Man, Excalibur, way to be jerks. (Excalibur #37)
If I had a dollar for every dream that had started this way… (Excalibur #37)
Spoiler: Nah. (Excalibur #37)
Kitty, you probably should’ve seen that coming. (Excalibur #37)
And now, some West Coast Avengers! (Excalibur #37)
The Lady of the… swimming pool? (Excalibur #37)
Convenient, that! (Excalibur #37)
Headcanon: He is definitely singing that music. (Excalibur #37)
Pietro’s not wrong; he’s just an asshole. (Excalibur #38)
Captain Britain, everybody. (Excalibur #38)
The heart of Limbo! (Excalibur #38)
“The reel, on the other hand…” (Excalibur #38)
“For me, it was Tuesday.” (Excalibur #39)
Bye, S’ym! (Excalibur #39)
And then everyone forgot he existed. (Excalibur #39)
Or maybe you should learn how meter works. Y’know, just a thought. (Excalibur #40)
Lockheed X-Plains Excalibur. (Excalibur #40)
Lockheed, NO. (Excalibur #40)
Aw. Dai Thomas has his moments. (Excalibur #40)
Spoiler: They do not kill him. (Excalibur #40)
The punchline is that they STILL haven’t figure out phones. (Excalibur #40)
This gag really never gets old. (Excalibur #41)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #41)
It’s always Inferno in here. (Excalibur #41)
This must be the best day of Dai Thomas’s life. (Excalibur #41)
Is it ever, though? (Excalibur #41)
THERE IS NO WAY THAT THAT WON’T BACKFIRE HORRIBLY. (Excalibur #41)
I like the idea that Cable is basically the X-Switchboard at this point. (Excalibur #41)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor Forever!

170 – Minor Punitive Heart Attacks

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Miles speculates about superheroes’ sex lives; Doctor Doom is an incorrigible scamp; the Lady of the Lake visits California; Captain Britain lacks basic superheroic social skills; Jay has strong feelings about doggerel; the warwolves know how to commit to a bit; and Excalibur and the X-Men continue to have terrible communication skills.

X-PLAINED:

  • One aspects of doombot functionality
  • Excalibur #37-41
  • The Soul Sword’s origins and current status
  • Promethium
  • Semantic disambiguation with regards to Limbo
  • The West Coast Avengers
  • The Lady of the Swimming Pool
  • Doctor Doom’s personal demons
  • Several team-ups
  • The heart of Limbo
  • Phoenix science
  • Darkoth the Demon (Desmond Pitt)
  • The Trial of Lockheed
  • A long-awaited reunion that isn’t actually a long-awaited reunion
  • A theoretical Frost-Summers wedding
  • What happened to Jen Askani post- “Endgame”

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor Forever

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 169 – Bad Kansas

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
SO, THAT’S GRAPHIC. (Excalibur: Weird War III)
Yeah, I’m with Phoenix on this one. (Excalibur: Weird War III)
Oh, that’s NEVER good. (Excalibur: Weird War III)
I’m not gonna say that Havok’s hat is the greatest abomination of this world, but it’s a pretty bad hat. (Excalibur: Weird War III)
Oh, that makes perfect… sense? (Excalibur: Weird War III)
Professor Xavier is a jerk. (Excalibur: Weird War III)
Seriously. Professor Xavier is a jerk. (Excalibur: Weird War III)
It’s hard to be a Phoenix host in a hell dimension. (Excalibur: Weird War III)
Those eyebrows, though. Daaaamn. (Excalibur: Weird War III)
Seriously, those things are off the rails. (Excalibur: Weird War III)
And then the Phoenix defeated the Nazis with the power of gayness. (Excalibur: Weird War III)
Well, that’s one way to do it. (Excalibur: Weird War III)
So, yeah. Giant Naked Cosmic Nazi Space Xavier. (Excalibur: Weird War III)
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! (New Mutants Summer Special)
Have we mentioned that Brett Blevins is a national treasure and must be protected at all costs? Brett Blevins is a national treasure and must be protected at all costs. (New Mutants Summer Special)
Aw, lurking moppets! (New Mutants Summer Special)
Warlock! We’ve missed you! (New Mutants Summer Special)
Well, that’s one way to make friends. (New Mutants Summer Special)
It’s… it’s… A METAPHOR! (New Mutants Summer Special)
Nothing familiar going on here… (New Mutants Summer Special)
Aw, Rahne. Every dang time. (New Mutants Summer Special)
Mookie has a bright future in P.R. (New Mutants Summer Special)
Welcome to Hunter S. Thompson’s Phantom Tollbooth! Meet Manufactured Consent… (New Mutants Summer Special)
…and a possibly-recognizable political figure. (New Mutants Summer Special)
Media literacy is the real superpower! (No, seriously; it’s really important.) (New Mutants Summer Special)
Somewhere, there’s a parallel universe where Brett Blevins is a really successful political cartoonist. (New Mutants Summer Special)
I’m not sure exactly what we’re supposed to get out of this panel. (New Mutants Summer Special)
This kid is so great. (New Mutants Summer Special)
And now, Situation Ethics! (New Mutants Summer Special)
Burn down the establishment, Mookie! Seize the means of production! (New Mutants Summer Special)
Well, that went some places. (New Mutants Summer Special)
Look, we never said it was a subtle story. (New Mutants Summer Special)
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur: The Fill-Ins!

169 – Bad Kansas

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Justin Thyme is a forgotten superstar of comics; Nazis should pretty much never be used as a metaphor; Charles Xavier is somehow even worse than usual; Excalibur may lack object permanence; Phoenix defeats Hitler with the power of gayness; we may have hit Peak Nocenti; Brett Blevins should draw Boom Boom forever; and the New Mutants get a taste of media theory.

X-PLAINED:

  • The exact nature of Shatterstar and Longshot’s relationship
  • Excalibur: Weird War III
  • New Mutants Summer Special: A Mutant in Megalopolis
  • Justin Thyme
  • Bad Kansas
  • Nazi Charles Xavier
  • Kinda-Nazi Moira MacTaggert
  • The Reichsmen
  • Lightning Squad (again)
  • Naked Space Xavier
  • Largely unsuccessful denouement
  • The Wobbly Sneaker Gang
  • Megalopolis
  • Media theory and several of its anthropomorphic personifications
  • Socially conscious comics
  • The Gifted
  • The New Mutants trailer

NEXT EPISODE: Lockheed X-Plains Excalibur!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 135 – Kurt Wagner, Warlord of Mars

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Best cover, or best cover? (Nah, the best cover is Excalibur #4, but this one is pretty darn good, too.) (Excalibur #16)
Whoops. (Excalibur #16)
I’m throwing in some episode-irrelevant bonus swashbuckling this week, because that’s how much I love you. (Excalibur #16)
SO THERE. (Excalibur #16)
See?! Rachel’s barbarian-warrior costume is TOTALLY P.E.N.I.S.-five! (Excalibur #16)
See also: that one scene from Ghostbusters. (Excalibur #16)
Those are some very well-drawn tentacles. (Excalibur #16)
Remember that one time Kitty Pryde straight-up stabbed someone in the back? BECAUSE THAT HAPPENED. (Excalibur #16)
This is the last Alan Davis cover we’ll see for a while. Please join me in a moment of silent mourning. (Excalibur #17)
Much disguise very mystery. (Excalibur #17)
There is… a lot going on in these two panels. (Excalibur #17)
Except, wait, if this is just a super distant planet, then this ISN’T alt-Jean, except it still sort of is, and there’s also the Lockheed and OH GOD WHAT’S EVEN HAPPENING (Excalibur #17)
FUCK. YEAH. RACHEL. (Excalibur #17)
Nigel Frobisher: a jerk in any universe. (Excalibur #17)
You tried. (Excalibur #17)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #17)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (Excalibur #17)
It’s like Freaky Friday, but only halfway. Vaguely Abnormal Friday. (Excalibur #18)
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: I would like to lodge my official complaint regarding this shameless waste of Speed Racer homage. Yrs., Jay Edidin (Excalibur #18)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #18)
NOTHING WILL EVER BE OKAY AGAIN. (Excalibur #18)
Jamie is a creep, but his powers are super cool. (Excalibur #18)
I got nothing. (Excalibur #18)
False-flag X-Men covers are kind of a running joke in this series. (Excalibur #19)
NOPE. (Excalibur #19)
Oh, Emma. (Excalibur #19)
Well, that’s unsettling on a lot of levels. (Excalibur #19)
“And then I’m going to feed you ice chips while you’re asleep!” (Excalibur #19)
NEXT EPISODE: Fill-In Frenzy!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

135 – Kurt Wagner, Warlord of Mars (Cross-Time Caper, Part 2)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which the Cross-Time Caper continues; alliteration is awesome; someone else’s geopolitical conflict is not an appropriate place to play out your pirate fantasies; we are definitely not actually going to eat Alan Davis’s brains; Jamie Braddock is Evil Rex Racer; Widget eats a car; Rick Leonardi is the definitive fill-in artist; the problem is patriarchy; and everything’s sticky in Madripoor.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Manga
  • Excalibur #16-19
  • Crosstime
  • A John Carter riff
  • A mysterious and dubiously reliable narrator
  • A terrible pick-up line
  • Kymri
  • Anjulie
  • Gender-neutral fantasy armor
  • Implicit fellatio in several media
  • Space Fred Savage
  • An alternate Jean Grey (and her untimely demise)
  • Tullamore Voge
  • A grand tourney
  • A deeply disappointing pastiche
  • ORZ-1
  • Dirty Pair (and a sustained riff thereon)
  • What makes a train sexy
  • Wolverine’s table manners
  • Jim Jaspers vs. Jamie Braddock vs. Jamie Jeffers

NEXT EPISODE: Fill-In Frenzy!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!