Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Alistaire Stuart

As Mentioned in Episode 428 – Naked in a Cake

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So who is that in the cake? (Excalibur #124)
A bridal shower! (Excalibur #124)
A bachelor party! (Excalibur #124)
Seriously, why is this a thing (Excalibur #124)
Yep, we’ve missed the Crazy Gang. (Excalibur #124)
Awk-ward (Excalibur #124)
To answer Suzy Eddie Izzard’s question: cake and death! (Excalibur #124)
And then Feron’s life got even worse. (Excalibur #124)
And a good time was had by all… especially Captain UK and Mimic, I assume. (Excalibur #124)
Love and chaos. (Excalibur #125)
Cameos! (Excalibur #125)
More cameos! (Excalibur #125)
I have questions about this pipe organ. (Excalibur #125)
Healthy… communication? Is that a thing in the Marvel Universe? Is that allowed? (Excalibur #125)
WHO INVITED THE NAZIS (Excalibur #125)
And have they ever earned it. (Excalibur #125)
Gatecrasher has the weeds! (Excalibur #125)
Lockheed, I know you want Piotr and Kitty to get together, but I assure you this will not work out. (Excalibur #125)
Nobody does wedding receptions like the Starlight Citadel of Otherworld. (Excalibur #125)
Man, that really is a shockingly tiny invitation. (Excalibur #125)
See, Feron? Just because everyone forgets about you doesn’t mean you have to jump out of a cake to try to murder people! (Excalibur #125)
Saturnyne, this is literally the worst possible time. (Excalibur #125)
Kurt, this is… also not a great time. (Excalibur #125)
Dammit, now I’m tearing up. (Excalibur #125)
And that, as they say, is that. (Excalibur #125)
NEXT TIME: X-Factor is back! Kind of!

428 – Naked in a Cake

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Love and chaos. (Excalibur #125)

In which you shouldn’t invite nazis to your wedding, there’s a lot of multiverse, Captain Britain and Meggan are pretty heteronormative but make it work, everybody forgot Feron, and the next husband will be Gatecrasher’s.

X-PLAINED:

  • Captain Britain varieties
  • The history of Brian Braddock and Meggan Puceanu, abridged
  • Excalibur #124-125
  • Mutants most likely to jump out of a cake
  • The Crazy Gang (again)
  • Meggan’s crush on Colossus
  • Colossus’s guilt about Meggan’s crush on Colossus
  • A surprise bridal shower
  • The return of Captain UK
  • Brian Braddock’s teetotaling techniques
  • Mimic’s ever-changing facial hair
  • Glorious, glorious chaos
  • Poor, poor Feron
  • Multiple awkward conversations
  • The return of Widget and also everyone else
  • Lightning Force (dammit)
  • A lengthy but not exhaustive list of Captains Britain
  • So many cameos
  • …Seriously, so many cameos
  • Dai Thomas’s anti-iron
  • Shockingly healthy communication
  • Bouquet brawls and garter gar-nage
  • A bittersweet ending
  • Nightcrawler’s best outfit
  • The universe where the X-Men X-Plain Jay & Miles
  • Our hypothetical post-finale Excalibur lineup

NEXT EPISODE: The return of X-Factor! Kind of!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 337 – Wild Genes and Old Magic

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
The Hellfire Club WISHES Brian bothered to show up in a tux. (Excalibur #96)
Meet the new Kurt: Now 50% more Age of Apocalypse! (Excalibur #96)
Meet the new Meggan: Now 50% more… boobs, I guess? (Excalibur #96)
Scratch. (Excalibur #96)
Brian Braddock, WASP bishop of the Hellfire Club. (Excalibur #97)
hehe (Excalibur #97)
Well, fuck. (Excalibur #97)
Now this cover can live in your memory, too! (Excalibur #98)
Sartorial choices were made. (Excalibur #98)
Alas, poor Douglock. (Don’t worry. He’ll be back.) (Excalibur #98)
Oh. That guy. (Excalibur #99)
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk! NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor’s recruitment standards somehow drop even lower.

337 – Wild Genes and Old Magic

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Excalibur is beset by shady organizations; Nightcrawler gets a new look; nobody hates Pete Wisdom as much as Lockheed hates Pete Wisdom; Brian Braddock should not be allowed to dress himself; Excalibur invades Black Air; and Onslaught continues to lurk.

X-PLAINED:

  • Some countries Magneto has invaded
  • Excalibur #96-99
  • Black Air (more) (again)
  • The London branch of the Hellfire Club
  • Nightcrawler’s new look
  • Meggan’s new look
  • The return of Alistaire Stuart
  • How not to dress for the Hellfire Club
  • The Shadow Cabinet (a little)
  • Hacking
  • Agent Scratch
  • Avengers vs. Avengers
  • Addiction recovery
  • Accreditation of the Xavier School
  • Developing a library X-collection

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk!

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor’s increasingly low recruitment standards!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 220 – On Your Bike

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Who wore it better? (Excalibur #61)
I’m pretty sure nobody actually cares about Micromax; but, whatever. (Excalibur #61)
Widget, stop that immediately. (Excalibur #61)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (Excalibur #61)
If there’s anything this series has taught us, it’s never to trust a man named Nigel. (Excalibur #62)
In case you’re wondering, most of this visual companion is going to be pictures of cool-looking Warpies. (Excalibur #62)
No, seriously. (Excalibur #62)
Aw, Beetroot. (Excalibur #62)
This poor kid. (Excalibur #62)
*Snerk* (Excalibur #62)
WARPIES, THO (Excalibur #63)
Aw. (Excalibur #63)
What’s that you say? More Warpies? WE’VE GOT YOUR BACK! (Excalibur #63)
I’m not even going to bother captioning these. You know the drill. (Excalibur #63)
(Excalibur #63)
(Excalibur #63)
Widget and the amazing technicolor future genocide by giant r–well, that took a bit of a turn. (Excalibur #64)
PRO TIP: If you stare long enough at your friends and neighbors’ faces without blinking, they will also do this eventually. (Excalibur #65)
Rowr. (Excalibur #65)
“Well, that can’t be good.” (Excalibur #65)
Ouch, dang. (Excalibur #65)
Aw, Oak. You’re a good dude. (Excalibur #65)
And that, as they say, is that. For now. (Excalibur #65)
NEXT EPISODE: Space Fight!

LINKS & FURTHER DUBIOUS LIFE CHOICES:

220 – On Your Bike

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we approach the end of Alan Davis’s Excalibur run; “duopenultimate” is not actually a word; Captain Britain pops the question; we do in fact (kinda) get follow-up on Alysande Stuart’s death; Miles needs to get a little less credulous about bureaucrats’ good intentions; Shadowcat engages in espionage; Nightcrawler and Cerise are tactically saucy; and the sun definitely ought to set on the British Empire.

X-PLAINED:

  • Warpies
  • Excalibur #61-65
  • The Jaspers Warp (more) (again)
  • The RCX (more) (again)
  • Agents Gabriel and Michael
  • What happened to Jay’s mom’s Hypercolor™ T-shirt
  • What not to do with a dead parrot
  • Several Hamlet references
  • Scott Wright (MicroMax)
  • The Cherubim
  • Cloud Nine
  • Agent Peter (Nigel Orpington-Smythe)
  • Warpie naming conventions
  • Beetroot
  • Screen tone
  • An idiom
  • Evasive makeouts
  • A specific thing on The Gifted
  • Why Kitty Pryde tends to go by her given name

NEXT EPISODE: Space Fight!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 215 – Mon de Orb Uno

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
While this cover may be the first story page, it still follows the general rule of Excalibur covers: It’s funny when bad things happen to Captain Britain. (Excalibur #55)
Aw, they look so fancy! (Excalibur #55)
Alan Davis hair: expressive AND extra! (Excalibur #55)
HIS FOOT POPPED. (Excalibur #55)
Remember this plot thread? Alan Davis does. Alan Davis remembers EVERY plot thread. It is his blessing and his curse. (Excalibur #55)
Speaking of threads… (Excalibur #55)
This is both an excellent disguise and a quality Cross-Time Caper callback. (Excalibur #56)
Oof. (Excalibur #56)
This party is the worst. (Excalibur #56)
Captain Britain X-Plains the Plot. (Excalibur #56)
(There’s a lot of plot.)(Excalibur #56)
On one hand, Sat-Yr-9 is very evil. On the other hand, this is still very satisfying. (Excalibur #56)
Meggan is so badass. (Excalibur #56)
There’s a Monty Python sketch about this. (Excalibur #56)
“Next, you eat the banana, thus disarming him!” (Excalibur #56)
Too little, too late, Nick. (Excalibur #56)
Remember this kid? ALAN DAVIS DOES! (Excalibur #57)
KITTY, NO. (Excalibur #57)
Cyclops X-Plains X-Factor #41-42. (Excalibur #57)
(And so forth.) (Excalibur #57)
I don’t know why this is a thing. It doesn’t actually impact the story in any significant way. (Excalibur #57)
GAMBIT, NO. (Excalibur #57)
These jerks, again. (Excalibur #58)
This is a ruse, except for the part about Cyclops’s secret boot radio, because Cyclops is a nerd. (Excalibur #58)
I really, really want to know more about Margaret. (Excalibur #58)
TEAM-UP! (Excalibur #58)
Amazing what they cover in undergrad chemistry programs these days. (Excalibur #58)
JUST USE THE PHONE YOU RIDICULOUS PEOPLE (Excalibur #58)
And they all lived happily ever after! (Excalibur #58)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. therapy, with guest X-Pert Dr. Andrea Letamendi!

LINKS & FURTHER MISADVENTURES

215 – Mon de Orb Uno

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we finally emerge from the other side of X-Cutioner’s Song; rich people are different from us; Brian Braddock is probably not comfortable with menstruation; Dai Thomas cleans up pretty well; someone FINALLY remembers Sat-Yr-9; Psylocke knows how to defend herself from a man armed with a banana; the (non-Internet) trolls return; and we are fairly sure that Gambit does not actually speak French.

X-PLAINED:

  • Winzeldorf
  • Excalibur (so far)
  • Excalibur #55-58
  • Lip massage
  • The death of Alysande Stuart
  • A banana fight
  • Alchemy (again)
  • Many trolls
  • A fairly joyous reunion
  • The Brussels Sewer Museum
  • A fake heel turn
  • Our hopes and worries for the New Mutants movie
  • Comics covers

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. Therapy, with Guest X-Pert Dr. Andrea Letamendi!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 206 – Anatomy of a Phoenix

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Tuesday, basically. (Excalibur #51)
Meet the Excalibur of Earth-99476! (Excalibur #51)
This Sauron’s opinions on jorts are never canonically established, but I think we all know. (Excalibur #51)
I see what you did there, Davis. (Excalibur #51)
Ka-Zar, Lord of the Savage Land! (Excalibur #51)
The Fantastic Five! (Excalibur #51)
There is definitely an alternate universe that is the same as 616 in every way except that Dai Thomas ended this call by yelling, “The Aristocrats!” (Excalibur #51)
It’s true. I will pretty much always pay to watch the X-Men beat up Professor X. (Excalibur #52)
You know it’s an illusion because none of them is wearing a plaid suit. (Excalibur #52)
Several aspects of Rachel’s backstory as presented in this issue will be retconned away, but this is the most significant of those. (Excalibur #52)
WELL THAT EXPLAINS A THING OR TWO (Excalibur #52)
And then they went to space. For like a year. (Excalibur #52)
That’s our Brian! (Excalibur #54)
Spoiler: Kitty is cutting off his cast and it’s itchy. (Excalibur #54)
That’s our Brian! (Excalibur #54)
Oh, man, can you imagine Meggan at Disney World? I bet she has THE MOST fun and also gets asked to leave very quickly. (Excalibur #54)
It seems kind of ridiculous that he jumps straight to “must be an illusion” after everything he’s seen, but… That’s our Brian! (Excalibur #54)
I love the Crazy Gang and very much want them to be happy. (Excalibur #54)
The best kind of twist ending! (Excalibur #54)
The mystery deepens and gets even cooler-looking. (Excalibur #54)
As promised, here is a photograph of two-year-old Jay dressed as a compsognathus.
NEXT EPISODE: Cable: Blood and Metal!

LINKS & ADDITIONAL FUN:

206 – Anatomy of a Phoenix

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which you should all come see us at FlameCon; all lizards are good lizards; we recap a recap; the Phoenix force is really complicated; Earth-99476 may or may not be the secret history of Earth-616; Alan Davis takes on continuity; the X-Men fail to save the day; the Phoenix says its piece; Rachel takes a vacation in space; Captain Britain doesn’t like to be psychoanalyzed; and the Crazy Gang gets a happy ending.

X-PLAINED:

  • Evil Shadowcats
  • Jay & Miles at FlameCon
  • Excalibur #51, 52, and 54
  • A brief history of Excalibur
  • The Phoenix Force
  • A recap of a recap
  • What this episode isn’t covering
  • Lizard Excalibur
  • The most meta t-shirt in the multiverse
  • Several long-ago Halloween costumes
  • Dinosaurs of Earths-616 and -99476
  • National Lampoon Vacation apocrypha
  • Earth-99476 and its Savage Land
  • The Fantastic Five
  • A vow of vengeance
  • Feron as an antecedent to Kubark
  • Alan Davis’s modern authorial counterpart
  • A telepathic journey
  • The full history of the Phoenix Force (as established circa 1991)
  • Inherited vs. inherent mutant powers (and a No-Prize explanation thereof)
  • The rehabilitation of Rachel Summers
  • Several retcons yet to come
  • Jean Grey’s inconsistent relationship to the Phoenix Force
  • A mysterious disappearance
  • What the Crazy Gang has been up to
  • The nicest kind of twist
  • A very easy way to make Kitty Pryde textually queer
  • Differentiating X-teams
  • The X-Plain Discord
  • Strong Guy’s new hobby

NEXT EPISODE: Cable: Blood & Metal

UPDATE: Not only can birds see color, but they can see a wider spectrum than humans. THE MORE YOU KNOW!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)