Arcade – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 323 – Baby Talk

February 14, 2021 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Seriously–they look like little adults! (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

This gag was probably inevitable, honestly. (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

Enter the X-Babies! (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

I feel like public opinion of Sentinels would go way up if they looked like dinosaurs. (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

Arcade X-Plains the premise. (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

THIS IS REALLY DARK FOR WHAT IT IS. (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

Is this actually Sinister? We never really find out, but it’s gotta be, right? (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

Hooray! (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

…that’s a lotta X-Babies. (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

Absolutely iconic cover. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

Damn good interior art, too. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

Kirby’s art has leveled up exponentially between Murderama and Reborn; I particularly dig his Spiral. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

Expanded geography of the Mojoverse. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

Man, I wanna live in a closed-down theater! (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

The textbook sisters. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

‘Vengers Assembly! (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

That it’s an obvious joke doesn’t stop it from being funny. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

All-New Psychilde! (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

Seriously, who WOULDN’T read about the adventures of Baby Doom? (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

That Skottie Young cover! (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1)

Mr. Veech and Nandy. (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1)

Good times. (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1)

Our first glimpse of the Star Comics characters. (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1)

Planet Terry (Bowdlerized version). (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1)

Wally and the Wizard (Bowdlerized version). (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #2)

Royal Roy (Bowdlerized version). (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #2)

Top Dog (Bowdlerized but still helpful version). (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #3)

The actual, exiled Royal Roy, Planet Terry, and Top Dog. (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #3)

oh shit (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #3)

And they all pretty much lived happily ever after, probably, I guess. (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #4)

NEXT EPISODE: Aging up to X-teens!

LINKS & FURTHER JUVENALIA

Who could ever forget cinematic icon Robert Cop?
Meredith McClaren would draw extremely kickass X-Babies.
Welcome to Westview: For all your WandaVision deep-dive needs!

323 – Baby Talk

February 14, 2021 Jay 12 comments

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In which we spend a large amount of time on a group of small characters; X-Babies stories cover a wide range of quality; Mojo is relegated to public access; the ‘Vengers rebel against their creator; the X-Babies excavate Star Comics; we adjust our opinion of the mid-‘90s; and WandaVision is probably not connected to the Mojoverse.

X-PLAINED:

Fun with blood
The X-Babies
Mojo
Pint-Sized X-Babies #1
X-Babies Reborn #1
X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1-4
The Brotherhood of Mutant Bullies
X-Baby nomenclature
The Pix
Hell’s Kitchen
The Wildways (more) (again)
Monkey Wagon
Bubblefield
Marshmallow Marsh
Gamesboro
The Textbook Sisters
The ‘Vengers
A transformation
Mr. Veech
Nandy
Star Comics and several characters therefrom
The Adorable X-Babies
Our opinions on the mid-‘90s
Welcome to Westview

NEXT EPISODE: X-Teens!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 315 – Theater Is Dead

November 22, 2020 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

That Wolverine shadow looming over the title has a serious Maurice Sendak vibe. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #1)

I know the whole point is for the shadow to be menacing, but how funny would it be if Wolverine were just freakin’ huge in this series, for no reason? (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #1)

Don’t smoke in the Danger Room, Gambit. It’s not supposed to be THAT kind of danger! (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #1)

This is a good version of Gambit; I will give the series and Sale that much. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #1)

I dunno; the exploding cards might make that difficult. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #1)

SEE WHAT I MEAN?! (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #2)

Viper called; she wants to know what you did with her entire look. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #2)

YES, LOGAN, IT MATTERS VERY MUCH. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #2)

Well, then. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #2)

I’m pretty sure the subtext here is that Gambit’s gonna do a sex with that painting. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #3)

The end. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #3)

X-Men ’92 did it better. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #4)

Mastermind X-Plains the plot. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #4)

Dudes, man. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #4)

That’s certainly one take on Sarte. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #4)

NEXT EPISODE: Hawk Talk!

LINKS & FURTHER CRIMES:

315 – Theater Is Dead

November 22, 2020 Jay 6 comments

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In which Jay and/or patriarchy ruin everything; Archangel is dubiously aspirational; we need a moratorium on Jack the Ripper stories; there are a lot of Masterminds; and Arcade is a whole bundle of psychosexual weirdness.

X-PLAINED:

Tom Malverne (Jack the Ripper)
Lunch
Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #1-4
Loeb & Sale
Jack the Ripper in fiction
Alexandra Davies
Fun on international flights
That one time Jay thought the NSA was going to come for him
Martinique Wyngarde (Mastermind II)
Mastermind, Mastermind, and Lady Mastermind disambiguation
Collateral damage
Various Dies Hard
Several heists
Several hallucinations
Variations on the death of Miss Locke
Problematic third brothers

NEXT EPISODE: Hawk Talk!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 298 – Unlikely Avengers

June 21, 2020 Jay Leave a comment

All of our TeePublic profits this month are going to Trans Lifeline! Have you always wanted a mask that says THEY’RE NOT LASERS? Now’s your chance!

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Seriously, can we not? (X-Universe #1)

Don’t worry; they all die in about a page and a half. (X-Universe #1)

“…ladies.” (X-Universe #1)

Blark 4 Lyfe (X-Universe #1)

See what we mean about the Darkseid thing? (X-Universe #1)

Damnit, Matt. (X-Universe #1)

These badasses! (X-Universe #1)

This should really have been the cover to #1. (X-Universe #2)

They’ve got names, and they’re not recognizable characters in a series that’s all about recognizability, so–yep, gonna die. (X-Universe #2)

DAMNIT, Matt. (X-Universe #2)

Clint Barton? James Rhodes? Lester Whatshisname? Who even knows, anymore? (X-Universe #2)

GOOD JOB, VICTOR VON DOOM. (X-Universe #2)

HE COULD STILL BE ALIVE (X-Universe #2)

That’s an awfully fancy red herring, there. (X-Universe #2)

NEXT EPISODE: What didn’t happen!

298 – Unlikely Avengers

June 21, 2020 Jay 10 comments

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In which the moments of X-Universe are better than the whole; the code name “Dirigible” carries some inherent risks; Tony Stark is often more interesting without Iron Man; Clint Barton is no James Rhodes; there is somehow a Matt Murdock who makes even worse choices than the one from Earth-616; nobody should ever trust Mikhail Rasputin; and the baby’s name really doesn’t matter.

X-PLAINED:

J. Jonah Jameson’s stance on mutants
A way to get cool stuff AND support Trans Lifeline
X-Universe #1-2
Gwen Stacy (Earth-295)
Some really obnoxious white savior tropes
The Marauders (Earth-295)
How to waste Arcade
Spider-nostalgia
Owl noises
Tony Stark (Earth-295)
Clint Barton and/or James Rhodes (Earth-295)
Dr. Donald Blake (Earth-616)
Dr. Donald Blake (Earth-295)
Blark
Mikhail Rasputin (Earth-295)
Ship, but not Ship
Ben Grimm (Earth-295)
Sue Storm (Earth-295)
Bruce Banner (Earth-295)
A great many overplayed references
Matt Murdock (Earth-295)
Manuel de la Rocha (Earth-295)
Victor Von Doom (Earth-295)
Marte and Rafe McGuffin
The Upscale Program
A very hazardous plan
The Stryfe Force
The dreams of Donald Blake
A red herring named Frankie
Augmented humans in a mutant-centric world
How Wolverine communicates with animals
How Professor X lost his hair

NEXT EPISODE: What-ifs and might-have-beens!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop! This June, we’ll be donating all of the profits to Trans Lifeline!

As Mentioned in Episode 246 – Foreshadow Puppets

May 5, 2019 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Four arms–and a conscience. (X-Force #27)

Does he just live in Gyrich’s garage? Or, like, under the lawn? (X-Force #27)

Too many muscles for one panel: The X-Force Story. (X-Force #27)

Who’s that? SURELY not Danielle Moonstar! (X-Force #27)

‘Kay. (X-Force #28)

And that’s the last we’ll see of Sunspot for a while. (X-Force #28)

Sometimes it’s like that. (X-Force #28)

Confirmed canonical: Shatterstar’s hair is independently mobile. (X-Force #29)

What happened to Sam, and who is this alarmingly beefy stranger? (X-Force #29)

Cable is leaning full into the Dad thing these days; and I, for one, am here for it. (X-Force #29)

I’m fairly sure that I saw this movie in an 8th-grade assembly. (X-Force #29)

Kids these days, amirite? (X-Force #29)

Based on her facial expression, I imagine her delivering this line in roughly the style of Aubrey Plaza as April Ludgate. (X-Force #29)

Sure thing, buddy. (X-Force #29)

Look at these angry, pointy boys. (X-Force #30)

So angry. So pointy. (X-Force #30)

Angry but not pointy. (X-Force #30)

“You’ll probably do okay; you’re not a major character.” (X-Force #30)

How much better would this issue have been if they’d done a skate-off? (X-Force #30)

Don’t worry, he’ll be fine. (X-Force #30)

Aw, look at him learning to person! (X-Force #30)

NEXT EPISODE: More spiky people yelling!

LINKS & FURTHER CONSUMABLES:

Mandy may be the quintessential Nic Cage movie.
We first washed up on the shores of Octopusheim in Episode 19 – Acorns & Swords!

246 – Foreshadow Puppets

May 5, 2019 Jay 12 comments

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In which Danielle Moonstar is not a master of disguise; the MLF are bad enough dudes to kidnap a guy who works near the president; Tempo wasn’t even supposed to be here today; Reignfire is no Magneto; we now desperately want X-Force matryoshka dolls; Feral quits the team; Henry Peter Gyrich fails to learn from experience (or anything else); small children are bad at everything; Shatterstar gets a tagline; Sam Guthrie REALLY needs a vacation; and it’s surprisingly difficult to choose a favorite resurrection.

X-PLAINED:

Cortex
The kinder, gentler Cable
Several matters related to Nicholas Cage
X-Force #27-30
Broome jaws
The Area jar
The Mutant Liberation Front
Reignfire (again)
Hardaway
A cyborg asshole
Locus
Moonstar
“Of Faith and Fable”
Foreshadow puppets
Bobby da Costa’s greatest fear
Dad jokes with Cable
X-Force’s day off
Shatterstar vs. Adam X the X-Treme
Windsong
An inevitable team-up
A Very Special Episode moment
The return of Wine Mom Domino
The return of Jean Grey’s telepathy
Our favorite resurrections

NEXT EPISODE: Sabretooth

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 123 – Mojo Mayhem

August 30, 2016 Jay 6 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

Oh, my. (Marvel Comics Presents #31)

The one significant drawback to Marvel Style is that sometimes the dialogue seems to be chasing after runaway art. (Marvel Comics Presents #36)

I would read this book. I would read this book SO HARD. (Marvel Comics Presents #37)

And that’s all, folks! (Marvel Comics Presents #38)

Now, THAT’S how you do an opening splash page. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

Heh. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

Aw, man. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

Minor Domo is delightful. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

Hell, this WHOLE STORY is delightful. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

Cats Laughing! (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

Welcome to your new anxiety dream. Hope you survive the experience! (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

What’s really amazing is that this isn’t remotely her worst costume. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

The Agent is a pretty silly concept, but in practice, he’s a genuinely scary villain. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

That time Kitty Pryde and the X-Babies stole Chris Claremont’s car. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

I really love this bit–it’s a very clever move on Kitty’s part and sets up a wedding-crashing brawl, which is always a visual treat. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

I’m usually a stickler for “their powers don’t usually work that way” complaints; but a) Kitty’s powers have been blinky lately anyway; and b) rule of cool. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

NEXT EPISODE: Death in the Outback.

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

Come see us at Rose City Comic Con, September 10-11!
For the best use of Mojo in any medium, check out the animated series episode “Mojovision.”
Animal Man #5, “The Coyote Gospel,” will forever change your relationship to Looney Toons.

123 – Mojo Mayhem

August 29, 2016 Jay 25 comments

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In which Jay and Miles return to Rose City Comic Con; “Having a Wild Weekend” is the mash-up t-shirt of Excalibur stories; swears are for everyone; Arcade is not a subtle villain; we love Art Adams a lot; Minor-Domo is the Harvey and/or Janet of the Mojoverse; Kitty gets another new costume; and the X-Babies carjack their creators.

X-PLAINED:

The Agent
Jay and Miles at Rose City Comic Con 2016
What Excalibur has instead of annuals
Competing theories of Eriks Larsen
“Having a Wild Weekend” (Marvel Comics Presents #31-38)
The Community reference that keeps on giving
How to fight on the Internet without being a dick
A large number of thinly veiled TV references
The X-Babies
Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem
Ricochet Rita (again)
Psychonauts
Exploding children (more) (again)
The House of Ideas
The New Universe
Major Domo
Minor Domo
Jay’s dream vacation
Cats Laughing (more) (again)
Cosplay you should totally do
Why you should always read the EULA
The classic X-Men spirit
Some of our favorite cameos
The return of Judith Rassendyll
One fairly specific way to ruin a wedding
Where to find Havok in comics
X-Men we’d like to see as wizards

NEXT EPISODE: Death in the Outback

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

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