Bishop – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 426 – A Gift from the Lower Regions

October 9, 2023 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Karel’s planet may be far from Earth, but his people still appreciate a good Terminator 2 reference. (Uncanny X-Men #358)

Tu is a very Chris Bachalo character. (Uncanny X-Men #358)

Lookit this pulp hero-looking scallawag! (Uncanny X-Men #358)

They’re so dysfunctional. I love it. (Uncanny X-Men #358)

I TOLD YOU THE BEAR WAS CANON (Uncanny X-Men #358)

Deathbird is horny on main. (Team X 2000)

In the far future of 2018, it will be illegal to cover your navel. (Team X 2000)

It’s not Cable and Domino’s tub, but I suppose it’ll do. (Team X 2000)

Team X! (Team X 2000)

You know it’s a really dark future when Doom is fighting on the same side as the good guys (see also: Age of Apocalypse, the Summers Rebellion). (Team X 2000)

IT’S VERY SEXUAL (Team X 2000)

The more you know! (Team X 2000)

NEXT EPISODE: Domino rejoins X-Force!

426 – A Gift from the Lower Regions

October 8, 2023 Jay 6 comments

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In which the Shi’ar have zero chill; Bishop and Deathbird do space opera; we travel to the far-future year of 2018; Alanna Nerimani stretches the definition of “bird”; Deathbird is the cool aunt; Bishop needs a break from dark futures; and Bishop and Sauron have an intimate encounter.

X-PLAINED:

The current number of Summers brothers
Uncanny X-Men #358
Team X 2000
The Shi’ar Empire (more) (again)
Shi’ar voices
Parker Posey vs. Posie Parker
Sexual dimorphism in art
The Ursaa
Organs
The Chnitt
Karel
Several cameos
Nullifier charges
Tu
The first appearance of Cyclops’s Captain America teddy bear
2018
Alan Smithee
Gith
Deathbird’s terrible childhood
Shi’ar-occupied Earth
Alanna Nerimani
Your cool murder aunt
Earth-9922
Deathbird’s war journals
The Morlocks (but not those ones)
Team X (but not that one)
Bribery
A very sexual encounter
Explorations of disability and ableism in comics
Beast’s long, slow heel turn

NEXT EPISODE: Domino rejoins X-Force!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 417 – Pterodactyl with a Gun

July 23, 2023 Jay Leave a comment

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Rogue anxiety dreams like nobody’s business. (Uncanny X-Men #353)

We call this move the “Lois Lane.” (Uncanny X-Men #353)

I love it when people remember that the Xavier School is–at least ostensibly–a real school. (Uncanny X-Men #353)

WOLVERINE, WHAT THE HELL?!? (Uncanny X-Men #353)

Not the best place to hide incredibly sensitive mechanical equipment, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men #353)

This is supposed to be a clever bait-and-switch, but that hand is fairly obviously not Rogue’s. (Uncanny X-Men #353)

He sure is. (Uncanny X-Men #353)

Valid question, buddy. (Uncanny X-Men #354)

Sauron’s current whereabouts, X-Plained. (Uncanny X-Men #354)

Continued from previous. (Uncanny X-Men #354)

Fuckin’ Marvel Canadians. (Uncanny X-Men #355)

Remember answering machines? (Uncanny X-Men #355)

Yes, excellent. (Uncanny X-Men #355)

Hi, brainwashed Alpha Flight! (Uncanny X-Men #355)

This sequence is objectively perfect. (Uncanny X-Men #355)

Jean, you REALLY don’t spring that costume on someone. (Uncanny X-Men #354)

…Fair, though. (Uncanny X-Men #355)

NEXT EPISODE: this whole mess

417 – Pterodactyl with a Gun

July 16, 2023 Jay 9 comments

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In which you, too, can use Cerebro; Jubilee is here, for some reason; the Xavier School should absolutely not be accredited; Hulk Hands would solve many of Rogue’s problems; Sauron gets a gun; Psylocke pulls a Lois Lane maneuver; you really shouldn’t spring a Phoenix costume on anybody; Joseph has (another) identity crisis; and Canada has problems.

X-PLAINED:

Miles at SDCC
Uncanny X-Men #353-355
X-Men #73
A running motif
Wolverine’s sons
Margaret Stone
“fun”
The location of the original X-jet
A red herring
Sauron (more) (again)
Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy… in space!
How to ship a pterodactyl
Mighty appendages
The Agee Institute
Boundaries
Wallpaper
Joseph (more) (again)
New Year’s Resolutions
Sebastian Shaw and his wraith buddy (again)
The X-Men’s answering machine
What Wolverine does
Alpha Flight
Canada problems
A crossover
Phoenix problems
Jean Grey’s ‘90s costume
Found families
What makes the Dark Phoenix Saga an X-Men story

NEXT EPISODE: Reignfire, resolved!

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408 – Yabba Yabba Yabba

April 23, 2023 Jay 7 comments

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In which Bishop gets another miniseries; splinter timelines make fun narrative sandboxes; the X.S.E. goes detecting; the Statue of Liberty never fares well in dystopian futures; “Booger” is not a name you give yourself; and we can’t believe it’s taken us this long to make a hanky code joke about Bishop.

X-PLAINED:

Graymalkin
Bishop: X.S.E. #1-3
Bishop (more) (again)
Earth-1191
The X.S.E.
Hecate
Malcolm
Randall
The popularity of Earth-1191 miniseries
The solid-light hologram of Theseus
The Fanatix
Pulsar
Dogface
Hardball
Razorback
Kali (but not that one)
Shadowbox
“Quotations”
Seldon Trask
A mystery
The Rook
Annabella Knox
Anthony Shaw
The Bay Borough
The best episode of Justice League Unlimited
Organic LMDs
A disguise
An uncanny child
Dazzler’s career
X-Adjectives

NEXT EPISODE: The M-Plate Saga!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 398 – Shanna the Wee Devil

January 15, 2023 Miles One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

We would never, Maggott. (Uncanny X-Men #347)

Grovel, allergic to sticks. (Uncanny X-Men #347)

Spat: just your average reverse-aging cavegirl bounty hunter. (Uncanny X-Men #347)

Weirder or less weird than the time the Morlocks healed Professor X and then dressed him in bondage gear? (Uncanny X-Men #347)

Big Mother Truckers no more. (Uncanny X-Men #347)

Alas, poor Landscape! I barely knew him, Joseph: a fellow of infinite power, of most excellent colors. (Uncanny X-Men #347)

Nanny’s great and all, but LOOK AT THAT BAT! (Uncanny X-Men #347)

I wish we got to see more of that robo-dragon in the back. (Uncanny X-Men #348)

Thankfully, Bishop is no stranger to being impaled by pipes. (Uncanny X-Men #348)

SabreRogue. (Uncanny X-Men #348)

This is pretty unambiguous, right? (Uncanny X-Men #348)

Chris Bachalo’s back! (Uncanny X-Men #349)

Beast, Beast, Beast of the Jungle, strong as he can be! (Uncanny X-Men #349)

Whoa, that volcano base got a lot more complicated when we switched artists. (Uncanny X-Men #349)

Even Maggott’s hair gets more impressive when he goes into battle-mode! (Uncanny X-Men #349)

Bachalo draws chaos well. (Uncanny X-Men #349)

“Excess”? What do you mean by that word? (Uncanny X-Men #349)

All together now: “DAMMIT REMY!” (Uncanny X-Men #349)

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force hits the road!

398 – Shanna the Wee Devil

January 15, 2023 Miles 5 comments

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In which the rest of the X-Men return from space; Maggott is the new cool; Gambit’s past catches up with him; Chris Bachalo takes over as regular artist on Uncanny X-Men; Deathbird flirts singularly aggressively; Eany and Meany eat a truck; dating a telepathic ninja is going to take some getting used to; and Havok predictably remains ABD.

X-PLAINED

Motormouth (Harley Davis)
Motormouth and Killpower
Uncanny X-Men #347-349
Grovel and Spat
A horse guy who is actually a cat-frog-lizard guy
An extraordinarily half-assed action figure
Load-bearing backstory
Landscape
The other Nanny
Elegant foreshadowing
Beast’s appearance as a mutant power
Gambit’s chest hair
The end of playtime
CCA-compliant foliage
Deathbird and Bishop
A vanity plate
Eany and Meany
One-off psychometry
Psylocke vs. Maggott
Decompression
Havok’s enduring lack of a Ph.D.

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force hits the road!

NOTE: In this episode, Miles theorized Grovel’s voice as sounding halfway between Cable and Kermit the Frog without realizing that he was in fact just describing Sweetums. -Jay

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 386 – No Puppy for Storm

October 2, 2022 Jay Leave a comment

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Sam Guthrie has an Experience. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1997)

D’Gard is a snappy dresser. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1997)

Brotherhood! (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1997)

This is the most menacing Maggott will ever be, ever. (Uncanny X-Men #345)

Who is this metal dude? It remains a mystery to this day. (Uncanny X-Men #345)

Remember when Maggott was Australian? (Uncanny X-Men #345)

Gambit, penitent. (Uncanny X-Men #345)

Thirst-trap Bishop. (Uncanny X-Men #345)

Thirst-trap Deathbird. (Uncanny X-Men #345)

NEXT EPISODE: Party on Mount Wundagore!

386 – No Puppies for Storm

September 25, 2022 Jay 11 comments

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In which treading water isn’t always a bad thing; Storm remains an irresponsible leader; nobody should ever trust Dark Beast; we are befuddled by a large metal man; Maggott makes his debut; and we ship the heck out of Deathbird and Bishop.

X-PLAINED:

The time Captain America dated a supervillain
Treading water
Gene Nation (again)
Uncanny X-Men Annual 1997
Uncanny X-Men #345
Razors
Humanity’s Last Stand
Surprise
Boost and Tether
D’gard
A Star Trek allusion
The Morlock retcon
Maggott (Japheth)
A large metal individual
Foreshadowing
A large, inconvenient spaceship
Magneto’s relationship to Judaism
Recovery from the Legacy Virus

NEXT EPISODE: Field Trip to Mount Wundagore!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!