Okay, but seriously, he could have gotten that cape anywhere. (X-Force #11)
Early Deadpool was just kind of a jerk. (X-Force #11)
In which Garrison Kane and all of his teeth are watching you poop. (X-Force #11)
The best thing about this is that Rictor’s shirt changes color from green to read between issues, and I have decided that it is DEFINITELY Hypercolor(TM). (X-Force #11)
Hi, Crule. (X-Force #12)
Somewhere, Flash Gordon is very confused and very naked. (X-Force #12)
Just posting this for Rictor’s outfit, which really only gets more remarkable with every drawing. (X-Force #12)
If I were a better person, I might have pasted this together with the other half of the four-page spread… (X-Force #13)
…but, alas, I’m not. (X-Force #13)
Thaaaaaat’s our Cable! (X-Force #13)
Yeahno. (X-Force #13)
I really like the way Shoemaker draws battle-damaged Cable. (X-Force #14)
MY FEELINGS (X-Force #14)
Awk-ward. (X-Force #14)
Spoiler: FRIENDSHIP WINS. (X-Force #15)
And he would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn’t been for you meddling kids! (X-Force #15)
In which Jay returns from Latveria; Sabretooth is significantly less menacing in French; Fabian Nicieza takes the reins; X-Force wins our hearts and minds; Gideon plunders Flash Gordon’s wardrobe; Crule does not actually rule; Rictor was right; Ship is the friend who helps you move, but better; the X-Force kids strike out on their own; and it’s probably impossible to explain Joseph too much.
X-PLAINED:
The secret origin of Gideon
How to get deported from Latveria
Marvel en français
X-Force #11-15
Some gratuitous posturing
Pico
What the actual Domino has been up to
One hell of an outfit
Peacock powers
Crule
A comical mix-up
A somewhat radical cosmology
A very dramatic strike force
Tygerstryke
X-Force post-Liefeld
Weapon P.R.I.M.E.
A four-page spread
A fight for one is a fight for all
Vance Astro
The death of Copycat
Things only Cable and Domino could do
Joseph (more) (again)
Marvel style and its evolution
NEXT EPISODE: Fire, life, and backstory!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
Luckily for Terrence, the actual X-Men were ALSO lurking by the playground! (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)
“Look, to be honest, several of us are DEFINITELY not trustworthy.” (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)
“Also, would you say that your kidneys are in good condition?” (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)
BEAST, NO. (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)
Gambit is definitely the Least Safe X-Man. (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)
So, that’s a thing that exists. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
Circle of Death time is the best time! (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
Evolution in action. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
I absolutely do not believe that you did not see anyone unusual at a state fair. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
They’re so bad at not being menacing. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
“He sees you forever and ever, Alan!” (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
This panel is amazing. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
“Let us never speak of today again.” (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
The contents of one of the greatest minds on Earth. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
This is a fundamentally self-defeating activity page, and also a really boring connect-the-dots puzzle. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
Let’s just assume that it’s a slow news day. (Smokescreen)
Centaur? Immortal Iron Fist? WHY NOT BOTH? (Smokescreen)
Kids can’t resist a plaid vest. (Smokescreen)
“So… what you’re basically saying is that he’s a teenager?” (Smokescreen)
She still gets taken out like a chump, though. (Smokescreen)
“Hey, wanna see some of his shrink’s notes, while we’re grossly violating his privacy?” (Smokescreen)
MARK TRAIL, NO! (Smokescreen)
oh my god look at this asshole (Smokescreen)
“Tell me, Bret, how much do you know about the migratory patterns of mallard ducks?” (Smokescreen)
That is certainly one way to do a thing. (Smokescreen)
NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special!
FURTHER READING:
We don’t know for sure that The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas was heavily influenced by Peter Shaffer’s Equus; but we also don’t know that it wasn’t.
In which we discuss several Very Special Issues; the real cautionary tale is not to trust Hank McCoy; horses are vehicles of lies and heartbreak; the X-Men shill for a state fair; whatever you’re doing, Cyclops is here to stop you; smoking is a gateway to some really weird vices; and we want YOU to design the latest X-Men PSA!
X-PLAINED:
The alternate-timeline terrible choices of Hank McCoy
Our wholly unfounded theories about Spongebob Squarepants
Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men
VHS tapes
Blockbuster KidPrint
Mariano Nicieza
Some Fundamental Problems With Superhero PSAs
A man who may or may not be D-Man
Terrence
Why Cable should deliver more PSAs
Why D.A.R.E. doesn’t work
Varying coherent cautionary tales
The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas
A tragic lack of carnies
Danny the centaur and his very intense feelings about horses
Several exciting attractions at the State Fair of Texas
Big Tex
Activities
Smokescreen
Bret Jackson
Some of the lesser-known danger of smoking
Whether Danny Rand can turn into a centaur
Hanging out and other gateways to delinquency
The South Side Social Club
Jake
Etiquette of following teenagers around
A villainous plan so ineffective that it’s actually kind of sad
X-Men you should hire for your PSAs
Our thoughts on the Disney/Fox merger
Where to find Bloodstorm
Baby Jumping
NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special!
LISTENER CHALLENGE: Send your X-Men PSAs to [email protected] with the subject PSA by December 27!
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
In which things are not as they were; “yaybopunk” is definitely our aesthetic; Cable is officially foreshadowed; and the NYCC live show did in fact go really well!
X-PLAINED:
Cable’s childhood
Some ECCC plans
X-Factor #65-68
The Riders of the Storm
“Riders on the Storm”
Some X-Factors that might have been
Babies as drawn by Whilce Portacio
Medieval cats
Yaybohunk vs. yaybopunk
A red herring
Jen Askani
A kidnapping
Visual representations of hacking
How to effectively evoke the Dark Phoenix Saga
The plural of “Apocalypse”
Rad fights on the moon
Something you should definitely cosplay
Cyclops narration
A psychic duel
A choice
Resets vs. returns
The Apocalypse Manifesto
The Crafters of Apocalypse
NEXT EPISODE: Live at New York Comic Con, with Chris Claremont & Louise Simonson!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
“We don’t need no conservation of mass!” (New Mutants Annual #7)
Harness and Piecemeal. It only gets creepier from here. (New Mutants Annual #7)
This is definitely the last thing you see before you die. (New Mutants Annual #7)
Spoiler: Nope. (New Mutants Annual #7)
99% sure these dudes do not actually know how to play chess. (New Mutants Annual #7)
How great would it have been if Cable had made a Gulliver’s Travels joke? So great. (New Mutants Annual #7)
“Attack them with all your sound effects!” (New Mutants Annual #7)
Spoiler: They do, and it’s not. (New Mutants Annual #7)
OH, THANK GOD. (New Warriors Annual #1)
Piecemeal’s shirt is a little on-the-nose. (New Warriors Annual #1)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdJg6Duzzf4 (New Warriors Annual #1)
Namorita is great. (New Warriors Annual #1)
Oh, dear me. (New Warriors Annual #1)
I really like all the character-intro pages in this crossover. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)
Mother of the year, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)
You’re never too evil or too sexy for some good, old-fashioned filicide! (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)
You sure are, James. You sure are. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)
Inappropriate, Bobby. (X-Factor Annual #6)
None of my math textbooks were ever this psychedelic. (X-Factor Annual #6)
I briefly considered making this visual companion nothing but character-intro pages. (X-Factor Annual #6)
“Kings of Pain? Oh, yeah, isn’t that the crossover where Cyclops encourages a disturbed youth to commit suicide?” (X-Factor Annual #6)
(Nah, actually, he’s comparatively ethical about it; especially considering that the kid is technically already dead and has been for years.) (X-Factor Annual #6)
Okay, then. (X-Factor Annual #6)
NEXT EPISODE: Summers family bullshit on the moon!
In which we finally announce our NYCC panel lineup; Boom Boom is the Gina Linetti of X-Force; we don’t actually know very much about the New Warriors; Cable grows as a person; Cyclops makes an ethically dubious call; Warren Kenneth Worthington III is a jerk; Jay gets very angry at a fictional character; no one gets a happy ending and the skeleton was inside you all along.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)