Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: cain marko

As Mentioned in Episode 189 – How Do You Solve a Problem Like Nate Summers?

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A day in the life of a never-nude pterosaur. (X-Force #5)
That’s a lot of teeth, Toad. (X-Force #5)
Somewhere, Bruce Banner has just felt a great disturbance in the force. (X-Force #5)
I keep changing my mind about my favorite part of this page. Right now, it’s Zero mugging facelessly at the reader. (X-Force #6)
Seriously, why does the Brotherhood have so many teeth? Are they EVIL TEETH? (X-Force #6)
Genuinely unsure whether Toad is supposed to have two or three rows of teeth in this one. (X-Force #6)
That’s a lot of bathtub. (X-Force #6)
My bad–on second look, they are not actually making PB&Js. (X-Force #6)
If I have to keep seeing these teeth, so do you. (X-Force #7)
t e e e e e e e e e e e e t h (X-Force #7)
Feral vs. Thornn. (X-Force #7)
It’s okay. He’ll be back. And possibly immortal? It’s complicated. (X-Force #7)
NEXT EPISODE: BLOODLUST!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

189 – How Do You Solve a Problem Like Nate Summers?

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In which Jay’s mom broke the Internet; correct credits are important; everyone has a Danger Room; no one needs that many teeth; there are so many reasons to laugh at Stryfe; the Watcher is probably affiliated with Pepperidge Farm; Boom Boom is the Rogue of X-Force; and Cable’s pouches are definitely full of menstrual products.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Franklin Richards of Earth X
  • The One True Cable
  • X-Force #5-7
  • Pocket-Size Juggernaut
  • A novel approach to trauma surgery
  • A moment of intersectionality
  • Teeth of the early ’90s
  • Soft pink bags of rice-paper flesh
  • A villain speech
  • X-Force’s bathtub
  • Several Shel Silverstein poems that may or may not be about superheroes
  • Cooking with Boom Boom
  • Why the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants keeps the “Evil” in their name
  • Thornn (Lucia Callasantos)
  • Phantazia
  • Writers vs. Scripters
  • Sex Ed at the Xavier School
  • The Worst Twitter Thread

NEXT EPISODE: BLOODLUST! (But not inquiry.)

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 181 – Badgers Everywhere

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
What you see is pretty much what you get. (X-Force #1)
Welcome to X-Force! Hope you like leaping! (X-Force #1)
The most amazing thing about this page is the idea that an actual body is supposed to be in that armor. (X-Force #1)
Aw, that’s a noble sentiment! Hope you can keep it up! (X-Force #1)
Two whole pages later.(X-Force #1)
Is there an adult lubricant called Bodyslide? If not, there probably should be. (X-Force #1)
Boom Boom, never change. (X-Force #1)
Guys, that’s not how… ah, never mind. Have fun. (X-Force #1)
G.W. Bridge leverages S.H.I.E.L.D.’s significant spy network to keep a running tally of who has been naughty and who has been nice. (X-Force #1)
Lies? Continuity error? Retcons? WHO EVEN KNOWS ANYMORE? (X-Force #1)
THIS DELIGHTFUL SCAMP! (X-Force #1)
I spent hours combing through and comparing Shatterstar’s use of numbers in this arc. If you are expecting a useful revelation to follow that, you’re out of luck. (X-Force #2)
“No, two BLADES, not two… oh, never mind.” (X-Force #2)
Not pictured: Probably a really enthusiastic hug where Juggernaut picked up Black Tom and spun him around a bunch. (X-Force #2)
Siryn’s costume is actually pretty rad. (X-Force #3)
This commute is the worst. (X-Force #3)
What. (X-Force #3)
Cable, what are you even wearing? (X-Force #3)
That word balloon, though. (Spider-Man #16)
LOOK AT THAT FACE IT IS SO EXCELLENT (Spider-Man #16)
Dispatches from a more innocent time. (Spider-Man #16)
Cannonball is the best, but the faces in this issue are generally just incredibly good. (Spider-Man #16)
Did Todd McFarlane ever draw Judge Dredd? God, I hope so. (Spider-Man #16)
I’m honestly not sure what graphic enucleation would have added to this page; but you do you, I guess? (Spider-Man #16)
PLEASE STOP TRYING TO MAKE “SHATTY” HAPPEN. Please. (X-Force #4)
Remember when they only killed in self-defense, LIKE TWO ISSUES AGO? (X-Force #4)
MAYBE BECAUSE OTHERWISE YOU DROP THEM DOWN ELEVATOR SHAFTS (X-Force #4)
Somewhere, there’s a universe where Mignola drew a bunch of X-Force, and the ’90s were a very different time. (X-Force #4)
NEXT EPISODE: The not even remotely triumphant return of Technet!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

  • The concerns expressed in Tom Lehrer’s “MLF Lullaby” don’t age wildly well, but it’s still a catchy song.
  • Mr. Burns, A Post-Electric Play is definitely a thing on Earth-4935, only instead of a Simpsons episode, it’s the Pizza Hut X-Men comic where Cyclops doesn’t think it’s cool to have an adventure in Cyberspace.

 

181 – Badgers Everywhere

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which X-Force is the cotton candy of comics; Jay & Miles overanalyze; eye spots are not the new domino masks; Feral is all about some murder; Black Tom and Juggernaut remain a delightful criminal power couple; Siryn’s costume is on point; over the edge is where we live; Jay gets briefly and intensely into Todd McFarlane; nothing will convince us that Fabian Nicieza did not know exactly what he was doing; and Kelly Thompson is a national treasure.

X-PLAINED:

  • Rumekistan
  • X-Force #1-4
  • Spider-Man #16
  • Leaping, both literal and metaphorical
  • Cannonball
  • Boom Boom
  • Cable
  • Domino
  • Warpath
  • Feral
  • Shatterstar
  • Siryn (Theresa Cassidy) (again)
  • MLF
  • The second and third-best-selling issues of all time
  • The Profit$
  • A very violent catchphrase
  • Chalet Shwartzkopf
  • Power Poses™ with Gideon™
  • The All-New, All-Different Weapon X (Garrison Kane)
  • 6-Pack
  • Good vs. Awesome
  • George Washington Bridge
  • A moment so dramatic that it produces a second Shatterstar in a single panel
  • Some sports stuff, kind of
  • Uncomfortable anachronism
  • The stylistic necessity of healing factors
  • Marvel Unlimited view options
  • Rogue and Gambit

NEXT EPISODE: The not remotely triumphant return of Technet!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 103 – Warwolves of London

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
It’s the front-cover equivalent of the slow-motion hero walk. (Excalibur #1)
Hi, Widget! (Excalibur #1)
Kitty is ridiculous and also awesome. (Excalibur #1)
Nigel “The Worst” Frobisher. (Excalibur #1)
Aw, man. (Excalibur #1)
Welcome to the perfectly ordinary lighthouse full of perfectly ordinary rooms! Hope you survive the… (Excalibur #1)
“No one can move in Rachel’s costume except Rachel” is going to become a running joke over the course of the series. (Excalibur #1)
Somewhere there’s a universe where Meggan grew up watching Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23, in which this scene went very differently. (Excalibur #1)
Vixen, never change. (Excalibur #2)
The Warwolves are awful, but also fairly delightful. (Excalibur #2)
Oh, dear me. (Excalibur #2)
HIJINKS! (Excalibur #2)
Well, that happened. (Excalibur #2)
This cannot POSSIBLY end well. (Excalibur #2)
Alan Davis covers are the best covers. (Excalibur #3)
SOMEHOW TEAM VIXEN’S OUTFITS GOT EVEN BETTER. (Excalibur #3)
And so it goes. (Excalibur #3)
Well done, Kitty. (Excalibur #3)
Well done, Kurt. (Excalibur #3)
FRIENDSHIP! (Excalibur #3)
Including this panel purely for Kurt’s dashing outfit. (Excalibur #3)
PERFECTLY NORMAL LIGHTHOUSE. NOTHING TO SEE HERE. (Excalibur #3)

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING:

103 – Warwolves of London

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Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which Excalibur is x-tra x-ceptional; we once again gush at length about Alan Davis; Kurt Wagner is reliable with the ladies; nothing in Excalibur is ever perfectly normal; Warwolves are regular folks; Brian Braddock still doesn’t get to take a bath; Jay overthinks a question; and there’s more where that came from!

 

X-PLAINED:

  • The Unstoppable Juggernaut
  • Earth-10724
  • Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comicon
  • Excalibur #1-3
  • Fun
  • The Crazy Gang (again)
  • The somewhat ignominious death of Ray Mulholland
  • Warwolves
  • Nigel Frobisher
  • A somewhat dubious ploy
  • Bathroom etiquette
  • Widget
  • A kid named Colin
  • Rupert Holloway
  • Friendship, kind of
  • The Lighthouse
  • Courtney Ross
  • Excalibur vs. the Juggernaut
  • Kitty’s powers
  • An exceptionally specific theoretical crossover

NEXT WEEK: Checking in on the current state of the X-line, with guest Brett White!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Jay Recaps X-Men: Evolution
S1E9: Survival of the Fittest

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I can summarize most episodes of X-Men: Evolution from memory, in a fair degree of detail; so it surprised me when, in reviewing the Season 1 roster, I realized I recalled almost nothing of “Survival of the Fittest” beyond the fact that it involved some kind of summer camp scenario. When I started to watch, I realized why: in a season where even the bad episodes are usually entertaining, this one is just boring as all hell.

On my first pass, I stopped taking notes five minutes in, because nothing was happening. By the halfway mark, I was actively fantasizing about watching paint dry.1 But I am nothing if not committed, readers. I promised you a recap, and a recap you would have, come hell or high water.

Ah, well. At least I get to judge cartoon teenagers for their fashion choices.

Continue reading

As Mentioned in Episode 72 – Thrown Under the Plot Bus

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/30/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Mutant X Cyclops is the best Cyclops.
Surprise Walter Simons cover! YAYBO! (Uncanny X-Men #217)
The Opening Gimmick Who Cried Wolf. (Uncanny X-Men #217)
Banshee is good at adulting. (Uncanny X-Men #217)
“Seriously, guys, it’s like the whole theme of the book. I mean, aside from fighting to protect a world that hates and fears us.” (Uncanny X-Men #217)
Whether Douglas the Gentle Freak is the Doonesbury-universe version of Cypher remains a mystery. (We’d like to think so, though.)
Damn, Callisto. That’s cold. (Uncanny X-Men #217)
You do you, Alison. (Uncanny X-Men #217)
2/3 of Juggernaut fights begin with some variation of this scene (kilt negotiable). (Uncanny X-Men #217)
Um. (Uncanny X-Men #217)
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (Uncanny X-Men #217)
I don’t know if there’s a word for what’s going on with Rogue’s hair, but it is AMAZING. (Uncanny X-Men #218)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Uncanny X-Men #218)
“Y’all enjoy your group hug. I’m just gonna FLING THIS FUCKING ROCK INTO SPACE.” (Uncanny X-Men #218)
Aw, Longshot. (Uncanny X-Men #218)
I know this story is all about teamwork, but Rogue definitely wins MVP of Uncanny X-Men #218.
‘Kay. (Uncanny X-Men #218)
The really great thing about this reference is that there’s also a Brigadier Lethbridge Stuart running around UK-616. I bet they get each other’s mail all the time. (Uncanny X-Men #218)
Hope you enjoyed it while it lasted, Havok! (Uncanny X-Men #218)
Car Wreck Sex: The Alex Summers Story. (Uncanny X-Men #218)
This plotline will continue to dangle for like a year and a half. (Uncanny X-Men #218)
Take a drink. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Damn, kid. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Please let us know if you can work out the timeline here, because we’ve basically stopped sleeping, and it’s not pretty. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
I always figured Magneto would have way nicer penmanship than this. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Lorna, you can FUCK WITH MAGNETIC FIELDS WITH YOUR MIND, AND ONE TIME YOU THREW AN ISLAND INTO SPACE. Are you really that surprised at a freak earthquake? (Uncanny X-Men #219)
If the X-line were a sitcom, they’d totally have cut from here to Scott arguing with hallucinations over in X-Factor. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
It’s okay. Everyone will be too distracted by your hat to notice the tights. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Our heroes and yours! (Uncanny X-Men #219)
THAT. HAIR. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
NEXT WEEK: Origins of X-Men: Evolution, with Robert N. Skir!

FURTHER LISTENING:

  • Special thanks to the wonderful Adam Warrock for letting us sample his song “Teamwork” in this episode! You can listen to the full track here, and find more of Adam’s work at adamwarrock.com!

72 – Thrown Under the Plot Bus

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/6/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/6/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which Dazzler is not a team player; Longshot is the Zonker Harris of the X-Men; Juggernaut is That Guy; Rachel and Miles channel Statler and Waldorf; and Alex Summers is seriously never, ever going to finish grad school.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mutant X
  • The only well-adjusted Scott Summers in the Multiverse
  • The Goblin Entity
  • Uncanny X-Men #217-219
  • The evolution of the X-Men’s lineup
  • Standards for a good twist
  • Doonesbury
  • Several Dungeons & Dragons analogies
  • A dubious literary allusion
  • Flying jeeps
  • CrimeBros
  • The fundamental tragedy of Longshot
  • Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart and several homages thereto
  • Geordie and Rupert
  • Havok (more) (again)
  • Car-wreck sex
  • An unfortunate end to a camping trip
  • The Plot Bus
  • Several ways to stat Rogue up as a D&D character
  • Narrative-friendly power sets

Special thanks to:

  • The wonderful Adam Warrock, for letting us sample his song “Teamwork” in this episode! You can listen to the full track here, and find more of Adam’s work at adamwarrock.com.
  • Harrison Barber for his X-Pert D&D advice (not to mention nearly fifteen years of tolerating our nonsense at the gaming table)!

NEXT WEEK: X-Men: Evolution with Robert N. Skir!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 41 – Hated and Feared

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 2/1/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Not a dream! Not an imaginary story! (X-Men #193)
“The hard part wasn’t bringing you back from the dead–it was getting you into those leather pants.” (X-Men #193)
Firestar’s first comic-book appearance. We’d like to tell you it goes uphill from here, but, no. (X-Men #193)
Let’s take a moment to admire the complete impracticality of Kitty’s jacket. (X-Men #193)
“That’s right, Sam. And when you’re headmaster of your own school, you can dress however you want.” (X-Men #193)
Kitty’s jacket again, because it is just so gloriously awful. (X-Men #193)
The robot enforcers of the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission. Or something. (X-Men #193)
Empath: Literally the worst kid. (X-Men #193)
In which Charles Xavier takes advantage of a teachable moment. (X-Men #193)
Aw, Nimrod, you’re so wacky. (X-Men #193)
It seems like a waste that this sequence isn’t accompanied by sitcom opening-credits music. (X-Men #194)
Things about Rachel Summers that are not The Saddest Thing at this point in continuity: None of them. (X-Men #194)
Really, Earth-811? Limitless budget, and you couldn’t design anything that looked better than THAT? (X-Men #194)
Voltron special! (X-Men #194)
The scene depicted on the cover ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT TAKE PLACE AT ANY POINT DURING THIS ISSUE. Good god, Marvel. (X-Men #195)
And now, an actual nightmare that you have actually had! (X-Men #195)
Seriously, what the hell, George? (X-Men #195)
Aw. (X-Men #195)
Damn, Shadowcat. That’s cold. Not entirely inaccurate, but cold. (X-Men #195)
I have no idea how they’re going to explain this one to their parents. (X-Men #195)
Next Week: Firestar!