Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: cain marko

As Mentioned in Episode 306 – Between Here and There

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Kids, send in your answers for a prize! (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Kids, send in your answers for a prize! (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Pink was IN for pretty much all projectiles in 1995. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Pink was IN for pretty much all projectiles in 1995. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Jeez, Warren, get over it. Everyone has to wear a mask these days. It's not that hard. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Jeez, Warren, get over it. Everyone has to wear a mask these days. It’s not that hard. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Now I want to see what Bishop would think of Mandy. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Now I want to see what Bishop would think of Mandy. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
I really like Jean's family. Shame what Claremont did to them in 2006. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
I really like Jean’s family. Shame what Claremont did to them in 2006. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Getting punched by the Juggernaut is a way quicker method of depilation than waxing or electrolysis. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Getting punched by the Juggernaut is a way quicker method of depilation than waxing or electrolysis. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Uncanny X-Men #12-13 could've been cut down to about a page and a half if Psylocke had been around. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Uncanny X-Men #12-13 could’ve been cut down to about a page and a half if Psylocke had been around. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Sigh. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Sigh. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
This page was very important to young Miles. (Uncanny X-Men #323)
This page was very important to young Miles. (Uncanny X-Men #323)
Okay, who spiked the Danger Room? (Uncanny X-Men #323)
Okay, who spiked the Danger Room? (Uncanny X-Men #323)
X-Force's former leader, folks. (Uncanny X-Men #323)
X-Force’s former leader, folks. (Uncanny X-Men #323)
Low blow, Trish. (Uncanny X-Men #323)
Low blow, Trish. (Uncanny X-Men #323)
On one hand, Iceman is a loyal and caring friend. On the other hand, he calls himself The Bobster. It kind of evens out. (Uncanny X-Men #323)
On one hand, Iceman is a loyal and caring friend. On the other hand, he calls himself The Bobster. It kind of evens out. (Uncanny X-Men #323)
Logan, this is how we got banned from Denny's, remember? (Uncanny X-Men #323)
Logan, this is how we got banned from Denny’s, remember? (Uncanny X-Men #323)
The Container Crew. (Uncanny X-Men #323)
The Container Crew. (Uncanny X-Men #323)
DC's Azrael only wishes he could look this cool. (Uncanny X-Men #324)
DC’s Azrael only wishes he could look this cool. (Uncanny X-Men #324)
Look at my teeth! LOOK AT THEM! (Uncanny X-Men #324)
Look at my teeth! LOOK AT THEM! (Uncanny X-Men #324)
Would've been funnier if it was a vampire bar. (Uncanny X-Men #324)
Would’ve been funnier if it was a vampire bar. (Uncanny X-Men #324)
You said it, Logan. (Uncanny X-Men #324)
You said it, Logan. (Uncanny X-Men #324)
1.5 stars in Yelp's morgue section (Uncanny X-Men #324)
1.5 stars in Yelp’s morgue section (Uncanny X-Men #324)
This Fall on CBS! (Uncanny X-Men #324)
This Fall on CBS! (Uncanny X-Men #324)
Letting Bobby's call go to voicemail? Jeez, this is almost as bad as that time she blew up a pony! (Uncanny X-Men #324)
Letting Bobby’s call go to voicemail? Jeez, this is almost as bad as that time she blew up a pony! (Uncanny X-Men #324)
NEXT TIME: Hey, it's these kids!
NEXT TIME: Hey, it’s these kids!


LINKS & FURTHER ATROCITIES:

306 – Between Here and There

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we continue our ongoing tour of the post-Age of Apocalypse X-Universe; Onslaught gets a name; nobody’s sure what Noah Dubois is doing there; Iceman gets to be the practical one, for once; T&A should not generally appear on the same visual plane; someone needs to talk to Cannonball about kink safety; and Emma Frost lets a call go to voicemail.

X-PLAINED:

  • Tarzan fandom
  • X-Man, summarized
  • Uncanny X-Men #322-324
  • Color as a narrative tool
  • The evolution of Storm’s shower etiquette
  • How not to relax with Lucas Bishop
  • Seat-of-the-pants plotting
  • Parenting
  • Noah Dubois, sort of
  • A road trip
  • Sexiness vs. sexualization
  • Emma Frost as Caprica Six
  • How not to walk a supervillain
  • Cannonball’s uniform
  • Sack
  • Vessel
  • Greycrow (more) (again)
  • The worst morgue and/or disco ever
  • Edna and Norton McCoy
  • Times Rogue has absorbed Colossus’s powers
  • X-Men: Marvels Snapshot

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 294 – The Infernal Gallop

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Man, I love this cover. (X-Calibre #1)
Man, I love this cover. (X-Calibre #1)
Cain Marko, man of peace. (X-Calibre #1)
Cain Marko, man of peace. (X-Calibre #1)
Welcome to Avalon. (X-Calibre #1)
Welcome to Avalon. (X-Calibre #1)
That is an EXCELLENT point. (X-Calibre #1)
That is an EXCELLENT point. (X-Calibre #1)
I don't remember Thunderbird having that many muscles or, y'know, being white. (X-Calibre #1)
I don’t remember Thunderbird having that many muscles or, y’know, being white. (X-Calibre #1)
"Sure thing! That's BLAMM with two Ms?" (X-Calibre #2)
“Sure thing! That’s BLAMM with two Ms?” (X-Calibre #2)
Aw, buddy. (X-Calibre #2)
Aw, buddy. (X-Calibre #2)
But shouldn't that be Rusty Collins's icon? (X-Calibre #2)
But shouldn’t that be Rusty Collins’s icon? (X-Calibre #2)
...well, shit. (X-Calibre #2)
…well, shit. (X-Calibre #2)
Almost our Kurt, and very much not our Kurt. (X-Calibre #2)
Almost our Kurt, and very much not our Kurt. (X-Calibre #2)
OH HELL YEAH (X-Calibre #3)
OH HELL YEAH (X-Calibre #3)
TFW Magneto forces you to visit your One Big Ex's intentional community. (X-Calibre #3)
TFW Magneto forces you to visit your One Big Ex’s intentional community. (X-Calibre #3)
They have fun. (That is a lie. They do not have fun.) (X-Calibre #3)
They have fun. (That is a lie. They do not have fun.) (X-Calibre #3)
Oh, come on. (X-Calibre #3)
Oh, come on. (X-Calibre #3)
AND THAT'S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (X-Calibre #4)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (X-Calibre #4)
Not AGAIN. (X-Calibre #4)
Not AGAIN. (X-Calibre #4)
Welcome to the Age of Apocalypse!
Welcome to the Age of Apocalypse!
NEXT EPISODE: these goofs, in space
NEXT EPISODE: these goofs, in space

LINKS & FURTHER ALLUSIONS

294 – The Infernal Gallop

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which a whole lot of things burn; Nightcrawler gets gritty; it’s hard to be Dead Man Wade; Apocalypse’s IT department has some explaining to do; Mystique is the most mom of all moms; Doug Ramsey dies (again); and Jay will fight anyone who says comics can’t be “real” literature.

X-PLAINED:

  • Damask
  • X-Calibre #1-4
  • Switchback
  • Cain Marko of Earth-295
  • Avalon
  • Destiny of Earth-295
  • Nightcrawler of Earth-295
  • Ghost Dance (actual)
  • Ghost Dance (fictional)
  • John Proudstar of Earth-295
  • The Infernal Gallop vs. the Infernal Galop
  • Moonstar of Earth-295
  • Dead Man Wade
  • The Pale Riders
  • Videoconferencing software of Earth-295
  • The Excalibur
  • Walter Newell
  • Callisto of Earth-295
  • A lot of murders
  • A really dark historical precedent
  • Parenthood
  • Death by existential crisis
  • The worst plan
  • Variations on the death of Doug Ramsey
  • Geography of the Age of Apocalypse
  • The rest of the Marvel books during the Age of Apocalypse
  • Jay vs. Western canon

NEXT EPISODE: Gambit and the X-Ternals

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 248 – Destructo Woman

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Sure! Why not? What could POSSIBLY go wrong? (Excalibur #72)
Sure! Why not? What could POSSIBLY go wrong? (Excalibur #72)
'Kay. (Excalibur #73)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #73)
Damnit, Siena Blaze. (Excalibur #73)
Damnit, Siena Blaze. (Excalibur #73)
Phoenix demands proportionate arms! (Excalibur #73)
Phoenix demands proportionate arms! (Excalibur #73)
I don't know why the fact that Moira kept Proteus's entire genome on CD-ROM strikes me as hilarious; but it really, really does. (Excalibur #73)
I don’t know why the fact that Moira kept Proteus’s entire genome on CD-ROM strikes me as hilarious; but it really, really does. (Excalibur #73)
Yelling in the Timestream: The Brian Braddock and Rachel Summers Story. (Excalibur #74)
Yelling in the Timestream: The Brian Braddock and Rachel Summers Story. (Excalibur #74)
You see the eyes, right? (Excalibur #74)
You see the eyes, right? (Excalibur #74)
The odds that Mr. Sinister got that knife at a mall kiosk are basically 100%. (Excalibur #74)
The odds that Mr. Sinister got that knife at a mall kiosk are basically 100%. (Excalibur #74)
You're a good kid, Jubilee. (Excalibur #74)
You’re a good kid, Jubilee. (Excalibur #74)
I like to think they're both just yelling. (X-Force #31)
I like to think they’re both just yelling. (X-Force #31)
The garden is a metaphor that is also a real garden. (X-Force #31)
The garden is a metaphor that is also a real garden. (X-Force #31)
Why is this random blonde dude so hung up on the Cassidy family? We'll never know. (X-Force #31)
Why is this random blonde dude so hung up on the Cassidy family? We’ll never know. (X-Force #31)
I just really love those yelling pages. (X-Force #31)
I just really love those yelling pages. (X-Force #31)
"And yet, despite all those years of gardening, I'm still not sure how to hold a rake." (X-Force #31)
“And yet, despite all those years of gardening, I’m still not sure how to hold a rake.” (X-Force #31)
He's an angry tree, but he's an angry tree who cares. (X-Force #31)
He’s an angry tree, but he’s an angry tree who cares. (X-Force #31)
NEXT EPISODE: More family fun!
NEXT EPISODE: More family fun!

248 – Destructo Woman

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Tom Cassidy and Cain Marko may be the most stable couple in the Marvel Universe; Rory Campbell is no Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau; Siena Blaze remains a big jerk; the Cassidy family has some issues; and we are dismayed by an inexplicable dearth of leprechauns.

X-PLAINED:

  • Birthday presents
  • What Excalibur has been up to
  • Excalibur #72-74
  • X-Force #31
  • How to be mysterious
  • The Proteus Room
  • The continually terrible choices of Moira MacTaggert
  • Porridge ghosts
  • An unnatural disaster
  • Chekhov’s solid rock
  • Rory Campbell
  • Destructo Woman
  • Limitations of CD-ROMs
  • Siryn (Theresa Cassidy)
  • The Cassidy family
  • How not to treat a gunshot wound
  • Kelvin Donaghann and his fancy hair
  • An intervention
  • The future of the New Mutants feature film
  • Underwear

NEXT EPISODE: Family Reunion!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 189 – How Do You Solve a Problem Like Nate Summers?

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A day in the life of a never-nude pterosaur. (X-Force #5)
A day in the life of a never-nude pterosaur. (X-Force #5)
That's a lot of teeth, Toad. (X-Force #5)
That’s a lot of teeth, Toad. (X-Force #5)
Somewhere, Bruce Banner has just felt a great disturbance in the force. (X-Force #5)
Somewhere, Bruce Banner has just felt a great disturbance in the force. (X-Force #5)
I keep changing my mind about my favorite part of this page. Right now, it's Zero mugging facelessly at the reader. (X-Force #6)
I keep changing my mind about my favorite part of this page. Right now, it’s Zero mugging facelessly at the reader. (X-Force #6)
Seriously, why does the Brotherhood have so many teeth? Are they EVIL TEETH? (X-Force #6)
Seriously, why does the Brotherhood have so many teeth? Are they EVIL TEETH? (X-Force #6)
Genuinely unsure whether Toad is supposed to have two or three rows of teeth in this one. (X-Force #6)
Genuinely unsure whether Toad is supposed to have two or three rows of teeth in this one. (X-Force #6)
That's a lot of bathtub. (X-Force #6)
That’s a lot of bathtub. (X-Force #6)
My bad--on second look, they are not actually making PB&Js. (X-Force #6)
My bad–on second look, they are not actually making PB&Js. (X-Force #6)
If I have to keep seeing these teeth, so do you. (X-Force #7)
If I have to keep seeing these teeth, so do you. (X-Force #7)
t e e e e e e e e e e e e t h (X-Force #7)
t e e e e e e e e e e e e t h (X-Force #7)
Feral vs. Thornn. (X-Force #7)
Feral vs. Thornn. (X-Force #7)
It's okay. He'll be back. And possibly immortal? It's complicated. (X-Force #7)
It’s okay. He’ll be back. And possibly immortal? It’s complicated. (X-Force #7)
NEXT EPISODE: BLOODLUST!
NEXT EPISODE: BLOODLUST!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

189 – How Do You Solve a Problem Like Nate Summers?

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In which Jay’s mom broke the Internet; correct credits are important; everyone has a Danger Room; no one needs that many teeth; there are so many reasons to laugh at Stryfe; the Watcher is probably affiliated with Pepperidge Farm; Boom Boom is the Rogue of X-Force; and Cable’s pouches are definitely full of menstrual products.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Franklin Richards of Earth X
  • The One True Cable
  • X-Force #5-7
  • Pocket-Size Juggernaut
  • A novel approach to trauma surgery
  • A moment of intersectionality
  • Teeth of the early ’90s
  • Soft pink bags of rice-paper flesh
  • A villain speech
  • X-Force’s bathtub
  • Several Shel Silverstein poems that may or may not be about superheroes
  • Cooking with Boom Boom
  • Why the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants keeps the “Evil” in their name
  • Thornn (Lucia Callasantos)
  • Phantazia
  • Writers vs. Scripters
  • Sex Ed at the Xavier School
  • The Worst Twitter Thread

NEXT EPISODE: BLOODLUST! (But not inquiry.)

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 181 – Badgers Everywhere

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Listen to the podcast here!

 

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
What you see is pretty much what you get. (X-Force #1)
What you see is pretty much what you get. (X-Force #1)
Welcome to X-Force! Hope you like leaping! (X-Force #1)
Welcome to X-Force! Hope you like leaping! (X-Force #1)
The most amazing thing about this page is the idea that an actual body is supposed to be in that armor. (X-Force #1)
The most amazing thing about this page is the idea that an actual body is supposed to be in that armor. (X-Force #1)
Aw, that's a noble sentiment! Hope you can keep it up! (X-Force #1)
Aw, that’s a noble sentiment! Hope you can keep it up! (X-Force #1)
Two whole pages later.(X-Force #1)
Two whole pages later.(X-Force #1)
Is there an adult lubricant called Bodyslide? If not, there probably should be. (X-Force #1)
Is there an adult lubricant called Bodyslide? If not, there probably should be. (X-Force #1)
Boom Boom, never change. (X-Force #1)
Boom Boom, never change. (X-Force #1)
Guys, that's not how... ah, never mind. Have fun. (X-Force #1)
Guys, that’s not how… ah, never mind. Have fun. (X-Force #1)
G.W. Bridge leverages S.H.I.E.L.D.'s significant spy network to keep a running tally of who has been naughty and who has been nice. (X-Force #1)
G.W. Bridge leverages S.H.I.E.L.D.’s significant spy network to keep a running tally of who has been naughty and who has been nice. (X-Force #1)
Lies? Continuity error? Retcons? WHO EVEN KNOWS ANYMORE? (X-Force #1)
Lies? Continuity error? Retcons? WHO EVEN KNOWS ANYMORE? (X-Force #1)
THIS DELIGHTFUL SCAMP! (X-Force #1)
THIS DELIGHTFUL SCAMP! (X-Force #1)
14_xf2
I spent hours combing through and comparing Shatterstar's use of numbers in this arc. If you are expecting a useful revelation to follow that, you're out of luck. (X-Force #2)
I spent hours combing through and comparing Shatterstar’s use of numbers in this arc. If you are expecting a useful revelation to follow that, you’re out of luck. (X-Force #2)
"No, two BLADES, not two... oh, never mind." (X-Force #2)
“No, two BLADES, not two… oh, never mind.” (X-Force #2)
Not pictured: Probably a really enthusiastic hug where Juggernaut picked up Black Tom and spun him around a bunch. (X-Force #2)
Not pictured: Probably a really enthusiastic hug where Juggernaut picked up Black Tom and spun him around a bunch. (X-Force #2)
Siryn's costume is actually pretty rad. (X-Force #3)
Siryn’s costume is actually pretty rad. (X-Force #3)
This commute is the worst. (X-Force #3)
This commute is the worst. (X-Force #3)
What. (X-Force #3)
What. (X-Force #3)
Cable, what are you even wearing? (X-Force #3)
Cable, what are you even wearing? (X-Force #3)
That word balloon, though. (Spider-Man #16)
That word balloon, though. (Spider-Man #16)
LOOK AT THAT FACE IT IS SO EXCELLENT (Spider-Man #16)
LOOK AT THAT FACE IT IS SO EXCELLENT (Spider-Man #16)
Dispatches from a more innocent time. (Spider-Man #16)
Dispatches from a more innocent time. (Spider-Man #16)
Cannonball is the best, but the faces in this issue are generally just incredibly good. (Spider-Man #16)
Cannonball is the best, but the faces in this issue are generally just incredibly good. (Spider-Man #16)
Did Todd McFarlane ever draw Judge Dredd? God, I hope so. (Spider-Man #16)
Did Todd McFarlane ever draw Judge Dredd? God, I hope so. (Spider-Man #16)
I'm honestly not sure what graphic enucleation would have added to this page; but you do you, I guess? (Spider-Man #16)
I’m honestly not sure what graphic enucleation would have added to this page; but you do you, I guess? (Spider-Man #16)
PLEASE STOP TRYING TO MAKE "SHATTY" HAPPEN. Please. (X-Force #4)
PLEASE STOP TRYING TO MAKE “SHATTY” HAPPEN. Please. (X-Force #4)
Remember when they only killed in self-defense, LIKE TWO ISSUES AGO? (X-Force #4)
Remember when they only killed in self-defense, LIKE TWO ISSUES AGO? (X-Force #4)
MAYBE BECAUSE OTHERWISE YOU DROP THEM DOWN ELEVATOR SHAFTS (X-Force #4)
MAYBE BECAUSE OTHERWISE YOU DROP THEM DOWN ELEVATOR SHAFTS (X-Force #4)
Somewhere, there's a universe where Mignola drew a bunch of X-Force, and the '90s were a very different time. (X-Force #4)
Somewhere, there’s a universe where Mignola drew a bunch of X-Force, and the ’90s were a very different time. (X-Force #4)
NEXT EPISODE: The not even remotely triumphant return of Technet!
NEXT EPISODE: The not even remotely triumphant return of Technet!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

  • The concerns expressed in Tom Lehrer’s “MLF Lullaby” don’t age wildly well, but it’s still a catchy song.
  • Mr. Burns, A Post-Electric Play is definitely a thing on Earth-4935, only instead of a Simpsons episode, it’s the Pizza Hut X-Men comic where Cyclops doesn’t think it’s cool to have an adventure in Cyberspace.

 

181 – Badgers Everywhere

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which X-Force is the cotton candy of comics; Jay & Miles overanalyze; eye spots are not the new domino masks; Feral is all about some murder; Black Tom and Juggernaut remain a delightful criminal power couple; Siryn’s costume is on point; over the edge is where we live; Jay gets briefly and intensely into Todd McFarlane; nothing will convince us that Fabian Nicieza did not know exactly what he was doing; and Kelly Thompson is a national treasure.

X-PLAINED:

  • Rumekistan
  • X-Force #1-4
  • Spider-Man #16
  • Leaping, both literal and metaphorical
  • Cannonball
  • Boom Boom
  • Cable
  • Domino
  • Warpath
  • Feral
  • Shatterstar
  • Siryn (Theresa Cassidy) (again)
  • MLF
  • The second and third-best-selling issues of all time
  • The Profit$
  • A very violent catchphrase
  • Chalet Shwartzkopf
  • Power Poses™ with Gideon™
  • The All-New, All-Different Weapon X (Garrison Kane)
  • 6-Pack
  • Good vs. Awesome
  • George Washington Bridge
  • A moment so dramatic that it produces a second Shatterstar in a single panel
  • Some sports stuff, kind of
  • Uncomfortable anachronism
  • The stylistic necessity of healing factors
  • Marvel Unlimited view options
  • Rogue and Gambit

NEXT EPISODE: The not remotely triumphant return of Technet!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)